Skip to content

An open letter to Snapdeal!

February 20, 2016

Edited to add : I finally got the other half of the charger today (29th Feb). Thanks  people, for the support and encouragement.

Leo got his award and I got my charger; whatta day !


Dear Snapdeal,

This is my first open letter to anybody and let me take this moment to thank you for providing me this wonderful opportunity. Don’t gloat yet; there are many more ‘thanks’ as you read on.

Thank you for teaching me what tolerance means when the whole country was confused with this term last year. Look Team Snapdeal, when somebody orders a laptop charger (Order no.11125320451, Jan 14 2016), he/she would normally expect the whole thing to arrive. Not once (Jan 21), not twice (Feb 5), but THRICE (Feb 18), you sent me only half my order, that is, half the charger. I still haven’t learnt the art of charging laptops with half the charger; they didn’t teach me this at school, NIIT or later in office, dammit!



I really want to know what happened to the better half of my charger; this, I find, is as mysterious as the missing flight of Malaysia or the Bermuda triangle. I mean, how can somebody pack and send half the order thrice, inspite of multiple emails and follow up calls. Oh, btw, your customer care executives are a bunch of super intellectuals; they advised me to buy the rest of the charger from the market, and even this happened twice. They taught me what patience means. Tell me something, who in their sane mind will sell half the charger and if at all, I have to go to the market to get it, I wouldn’t have approached you guys in the first place. That said, I appreciate your replacement process; only if you showed the same dedication in delivering the order properly.

I am left with no other choice now but to approach consumer court; have never done it before and thanks in advance for the experience. It has never been about the money, it is about the trauma a customer faces while dealing with unprofessional teams like you and also, let me see if I could get justice (big word, I know!); I read your recent tussle with Mr. Nikhil Bansal, which just opened my eyes.

And, speaking of purchase, never ever will I come to you guys for anything, and that’s only because I do not have the reputation to do mistakes more than twice. Not that my small order would make any difference to you, but I shall ensure to tell anybody I get associated with to stay as far as possible from the blunder that is Snapdeal. Oh, I missed to include thanks in this para. Thanks for the realization!

Btw, who packs your stuffs? One helluva sadist this person should be to play this prank over and over again, until it turned out this humourless!


People, please do share this. I am not asking Snapdeal to compensate me with a laptop, all I am asking for is the ‘rest of my order’; the other half is feeling naked, it seems!

I miss her!

October 24, 2015

I must have told this like a dozen times to myself over the last couple of months….i know she cant hear…infact, now I know that she doesn’t want to hear this anymore……it was me who left her…it was my decision..but…

We were perfect for each other and complemented one another on everything…we had ended our nights together….we had woken up together….we teased each other…we fought together…..we walked together….we watched movies and listened to music together….she was a huge fan of my songs and had kept all of them preserved with her… there was and will never be anybody as deserving as her to have all of them….. she was the first person to listen to my songs  and I always wanted it that way…..but now, I have lost all rights…

There was a time when she was always in my hands; sometimes on my lap; sometimes on my chest, sometimes on my face …my day started with her hi and it ended with the last bye…..never realized her value until I really lost her…I couldn’t ask for a better best friend…so was I for her, I know…both of us were addicted to one another and there wasn’t a single day where we have not been in touch…and seeing us together, there were a lot of raised eyebrows and asking why were we always together…..

Some of us fall in love so many times…I did…but then, after being with her, it was the end of my search for love…I knew we were meant for each other….we still are….and she is aware of it too…. people around us advised and did all they could to keep us away…we fought them….atleast tried our best…but all battles aren’t won… like all relationships, we were subjected to a lot of strain….misunderstandings started creeping in……we heard each other…we stopped listening to each other….

I once said, every relationship has an expiry date or atleast, a best before date….never ever thought my words would stab me one day from behind….an accident changed our lives…she couldn’t withstand it anymore inspite of my relentless efforts to keep her with me…and post the trauma, i couldn’t be with her too….moving on from her was the most difficult thing I have ever done….I did it for her happiness….she was in constant stress….and the only way to relieve her from her pain was for me to be away…..hope she would realize it someday that I am no good for her anymore….. Her relief is more important to me, even if it means that I have to force myself to exist in a loveless union…

I have heard people say that one could be special for sometime, but not all the time….however, what I have for her even today proves that she will always remain special to me…..we are not together now….we might never be able to…. but she will always mean the world to me….i miss my tan – ta-daan…….Sony Xperia Arc S.

Whatever happened to Superman’s underwear ?

August 15, 2013

Disclaimer : It has nothing to do with the new Superman movie and is hardly about the Superhero himself. It’s only about his underwear😛😛

This post is probably coming out really late, but I am still clueless on what happened to Superman. He has always been this mentally challenged superhero who didn’t know how to dress; the red underwear always over the blue pants he wore. But now, look at him closely; doesn’t he appear vulgar to you all?

The new Superman!

So, has the retard finally started putting things in the right place? That can’t be the reason, because Superman was never allowed to grow up. We always wanted him to be this handsome guy who saves the world and then appear as a totally different person just by sporting a spectacle, sulking for Lois Lane throughout his life. When I watched the promos of the new Superman movie, I couldn’t help but notice the guys new look. I initially thought that the plotline had something to do with his underpants and him fighting with the super villain to get it back, who apparently stole it from Superman’s backyard where it was left for drying. But alas, it’s not what I imagined. People all over the world are dying to know the reason. There are various sites in the internet which lead you to this topic and there is also a page in FB dedicated for this cause. It is certainly a serious issue that is bothering the world and we Indians, as usual, aren’t doing anything about it.

I know it’s a fashion these days to blame the government for everything, but why aren’t they taking any initiative to solve the mystery! Our PM, as usual, is quiet. Not that I expect to hear anything out of him unless it’s Republic / Independence Day, but what happened to his ministers. They were always good at being out spoken and coming up with really creative statements like ‘Hearty meal available for Rs.12 ’ or for shamelessly calling their own colleague an ‘Item’. I am telling you, this government is really hopeless; they are just not worried about the feelings of a common man. Leave the ruling party, the opposition has also not been doing their job! They have not created any stir on this matter which is a very bad sign; total disregard for democracy, I say! However, I am glad that neither the ruling nor the opposition accused any of our neighbours for the whole underwear issue; poor fellas, one is busy fixing tents across India and the other is busy hiding really important people in their country and then denying it.

While the ruling and opposition are constantly trying to find faults with each other, it has been the minorities who always came forward to react for the right causes. Mind you, only for the right causes! Early this year they had saved India and its citizens from the evil clutches of a man named Kamal Haasan; they managed to stop the screening of one of his harmless movies for almost a month. The superhero community in India is one such minority, comprising of duds like Krishh, G.One, Drona, Doga and Shaktimaan. But none of these guys came out to support Superman or even help him find his underwear. I am sure, this subject would’ve been taken up seriously had Superman been a Marathi, or if he at least had some Marathi connection. No hartals, no press meets, no hunger strikes; we, in India, are used to nation-wide bandh for these kind of issues!!! Which reminds me, what happened to all those countless jobless Babas and fake Gandhians (the adjective can be used either wise; wouldn’t make a difference)? They would’ve easily received publicity on an international scale only if they had conducted some hunger strike at the Times Square in New York or near the Big Ben in London. Apparently, the ‘Gandhian’ we all know is leading an Independence Day parade in New York tomorrow and I just hope he takes up this issue; better late than never!

Speaking of publicity, I wonder why Bollywood has also not reacted to this yet. The whole film fraternity was sad when a film actor turned part-time terrorist turned film actor again was sent to jail for a crime he actually committed, but nobody, no single soul, to think about Superman. I mean, is this the kind of respect we give to a person who has been ‘trying’ to save our world for so long? Take your ‘co-star’ for vacations to Spain, but please don’t turn your head away from basic responsibilities. To be honest, I was waiting for Aamir to raise this concern in some forum, but the poor guy speaks only when his movie is about to release or when his show is about to air on TV. You can’t blame him, old habits die hard. The other two supposedly super stars have always been socially irresponsible, and all that they care about now is to find a public place to hug each other, so that the media can wag their tongues behind them for a fortnight asking, “Why did you hug?”, “How was the hug?”, “Will you keep hugging from now on?”, “When will be the next hug”, etc.

I really don’t understand how the media works. As far as I know, they have been keen and have always shown enthusiasm to cover significant themes like ‘wardrobe malfunction’. This was like the Mother of all wardrobe malfunction and yet no coverage in print or visual. And again, of all the people, how come Arnab is quiet ? How did he manage to survive so far without making even one comment on the underwear? There should’ve been countless ‘one man debates’ by now considering the gravity of the situation. Expecting him to be silent is like watching white crows fly upside down on a snowy day in Rajasthan!!! Why do I get the feeling that there is a conspiracy, a global conspiracy, behind this? The media, the politicians and the celebrities of India, all have their index finger on their respective mouth, like obeying instructions from some bigger power!

I am equally surprised why the social media, and particularly, the bloggers in India chose to remain hushed this time. This is when we should’ve initiated another Chaddi campaign. Imagine the kind of international ‘exposure’ we would’ve got. Many of us, as usual, could’ve simply signed online petitions and felt ecstatic about what we did. And not to forget, patting on our own back and making tall claims like, “Oh, I have contributed a lot to the society”, all this without nudging a muscle from our arm chair. But it’s too late now to react. Or, is it?
Too many questions, but no convincing answer! But if anybody reading this has, I would appreciate if you could kindly come forward and explain. I have been having sleepless nights thinking about Superman’s plight. I have never been this worried about anybody’s underwear, not even mine! I need help! We all need help!

The world is definitely going through one of its toughest times. I hope atleast the officials in UN assemble to find a solution to this grave issue. People, you must understand, Superman isn’t somebody for US alone; he is a world-wide property! If a superhero like him can lose his underwear, how safe are we in this world?? Think about it !!!

A post, jhaast* like that !!

December 30, 2012
  • I was totally wrong earlier; had written sometime ago that ‘all’ relationships came with an expiry date. Actually, only some of them do; the rest of them come with a ‘best before date’😀😀 Now, what triggered this realization? I donno, came out jhaast like that !
  • It’s raining item numbers in Bollywood now, so much so that there are two-three such songs with different leading artistes in a single movie. But to think of it, these item numbers have been part of our culture and tradition since ages. Even the so-called Gods enjoy them; if it is Malaika and Rakhee on earth, it is Menaka and Rambha up there !
  • As a last resort to my weight reduction circus, I recently joined a swimming class. And, unlike normal swimming pools with chlorine water, this is a natural pond.  And guess, who my new friends are – MEN IN UNDERWEAR and we have tortoises too, to give us company, trying to escape from these men. I am not worried about drowning anymore, but every time I come out of the pond, I check twice to see if there are any tortoises clinging onto the ‘you-know-where’ parts in my body. Why do I check twice – jhaast like that !
  • It’s time people who work in the censor board industry used their brains. They certify movies like ‘Heroine’ or ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ with an ‘A’ certificate and simply ignored to do the same for movies like ‘3 Idiots’ and ‘Taare Zameen Par’ in the past. Kids, I tell you; all they need is an excuse to stay away from books and parents are now finding it difficult to get their children educated. Such movies are meant only for parents, and definitely not for kids😉
  • Somebody recently told me that I live in two worlds. Very true, and I would never deny that; not that I am enjoying such a life. The fact that isn’t visible to anybody is that I live in one and merely exist in the other. Very soon, this dual life of mine would end, and I would be existing in both the worlds –jhaast like that !
  • Donno how many of you know this, but I am ‘officially’ a father now. It took me a month and a half, but the feeling of fatherhood has finally sunk in. Yeah, I visit baby store these days searching for diapers and stuffs that would make him feel comfortable. My heart loses a beat each time I see him cough and realised why my father panics even now when I have a low fever. Btw, he is named ‘Viaan’; more about him and how he got his name in some other post. Considering the frequency of posts here these days, I hope to publish it in 2013 itself.
  • It has just been six months and my brother-in-law has already started cribbing about his marriage life. Oh, I so want to look into his eyes one day and say, “You are way luckier than I am buddy; atleast, you have in-laws who are normal” and then, end it with a “Buhahahahahaha” – jhaast like that !
  • Off late, people have been commenting that I sugar-coat my words and get away with whatever I have got to say or write, with just a smirk or a ‘:P’. Probably, it’s true; earlier, I used to keep my mouth shut and never reacted, thinking what the other person would feel. I don’t know when this transformation took place, but blogging has certainly played a good role in it. And no, I am not apologetic at all, because I realized, speaking your heart out is actually a better way to maintain relationships. People who understand you, will stay back with you, and the others, should we really care😛😛😛. See, I left the ‘😛 ‘ s – jhaast like that !
  • Guess what, when those two girls got arrested recently for a harmless FB post, one for posting and the other for liking it, I actually got a little excited. I had once written a post on some of the religions and was wondering if anybody would notice that now and get their sentiments hurt; I really wanted to. Not because I could get arrested and be a celebrity over night, but because it had comments from some of you guys, all of them agreeing to what I had written. Wouldn’t it be great to have a bloggers meet at the government’s expense with full media attention?
  • Ok, so the world didn’t end after all. You might find it stupid, but honestly, I was looking forward to a catastrophe that would end everything, once and for all. My only wish was that if the world is ‘planning’ to end, it should happen in one single whoooooooooosssshhh ! Yeah, there shouldn’t be anybody left behind to cry. You might ask me why I ever wanted it in the first place; I donno, probably, I have seen everything and there is nothing more that I need to achieve. Or, could be because I don’t have the courage to see any of my dear and near ones leave this world before me. But when you end, the world ends with you, right? Anyway, wish you all a happy new year,  jhaast like that !

Jhaast* – got this usage from one of my friends, and now I am totally addicted to it, jhaast like that !

Him, Her and the Other !!! – My new short video

September 25, 2012

Finally, here it is! I have been thinking of sharing this video over here for over a month now.  Errr, to be precise, ever since it was created and showcased way back in April this year for our office annual day celebrations.

The video is about an extra marital affair with cinematography by Vijay Sanker, along with my song in the background, and stars my colleagues, Sheena Arnold and Vijay Tilak (ex-colleague now).

Both the video and the song were well received by the audience and it was simply an out of the world feeling when, at the end, all that we could see and hear were camera flashes and applauses:):)

I don’t know if I had mentioned this enough, but I sincerely thank each and every one who has worked in this video, from the whole of my heart, especially, Sheena Arnold, Vijay Tilak and Vijay Sanker; you guys made one of my dreams come true.

The video has now been edited for public viewing, giving due credit to people who have helped me in creating the video and also, having ‘V-lokam’ in the beginning, which if I had in the original video would have made no sense to my office folks😛😛

Oh yes, if you had noticed the initial credits, you would’ve also noticed the name of a blogger. She was such a sweetheart being available all the time, gave me a few suggestions and also, came up with a better title; the original title was ‘He, She and the Other’ ! Thanks a ton, buddy, for being my guinea pig:):)

And, here’s a write up on the show that appeared in our office magazine, soon after our annual day.

Oh, I just can’t stop flaunting myself, can I ?😛😛😛

When fate plays such cruel jokes on you !!!!

August 17, 2012
  • You are the next person to be billed, after having waited in a long queue for almost 30 mins, with groceries at a Big bazaar counter. You suddenly realize that you have forgotten your wallet.


  • You are super excited about a well deserved vacation that you have been planning for the last three months. You finally reach the destination, but the weather plays a spoil sport and you get stuck in the hotel room throughout your vacation, with just a TV that airs shows in a language that you don’t understand.


  • You are travelling and you need to use the loo very urgently. You finally manage to find a pay-n-use toilet, but you have only 100 Rs. and the person at the counter doesn’t accept anything but change.


  • You get a sick leave approved from your boss, who is on vacation, and in a few hours, you meet him inside a movie theatre.


  • You go with your colleague for a few drinks after having lied to your wife about staying late in office. Your colleague tags you in FB with the location and you are not aware of this. Your wife reads this and when you get back home, you still crib about the pressure in office.


  • You are bitching about some colleague in office and the moment you end it, you see that person standing right behind your back, smiling at you.


  • You are looking out for a job and upload an anonymous version of your resume in all the portals available. After waiting impatiently for more than a month, you finally get a call from some HR consultancy for an interview. The interview is for your position, from your current employer.


  • You leave your helmet on your bike unattended and don’t find it when you return. You start your bike with an intention of getting a new helmet when, on the way, the cops catch and fine you for not wearing one.


  • You take your parents and children to a nearby multiplex to watch Ice Age 4 and they screen the trailer of Jism 2 just before the movie.

Part 2 – My first strip show !!!

August 7, 2012

Continued from Part 1 —-

The wall while getting on top would have been only 8 foot or so, but I had to actually go a long way down, like about 10 foot. And, while jumping, this was what I was shouting inside my mind—- “ Vimaaall, you are NOT 7,  you ARE 27” !!!!

Thummmppp !!! Thud ! Thud ! Thud !!

At first, those sounded more like beats from the concert. But no, the sounds were from within. I actually fell on my legs like a cat, but my ankle slipped as soon as I landed, lost my balance and there I was on the ground. I gathered myself and tried walking, but I couldn’t. Same pain, same spot, same ligament tear problem; but this time, it was on the right foot. I limped all the way to the concert and watched it, standing along with a hyper enthusiastic crowd, knowing how bad my leg is. It was worse than the last time, but I didn’t have to visit a doc as I knew what exactly to do and there were a few leftover medicines. I decided to quit the gym, didn’t even go there to say I am quitting; can’t get an extension every time I wish, right?

With each passing day, I was growing horizontally and that became a concern for everybody around me. But you know what, I have a power; ya, like a super power. I have this ability to reduce my weight whenever I need to go for a trip or if there is an important event that has photo sessions. For example, I reduced around 5 kgs for my Europe trip and almost 3 kgs for my Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Goa trip. It just comes naturally to me; most of the times, a crash diet and at times, brisk walking for 1 hour would work. Earlier, the crash diet used to be the infamous GM diet, but these days, it’s just a simple fruits diet. I realized later how bad these crash diets are for the body as a whole and the only way to get rid of all that fat is to burn them by working out. I maintained my weight for almost three years doing all this, but never reduced because of the frequent intake of junk food. Yeah, somehow all those junk food are good only during ‘input’, and never during ‘output’!!!

My walking sessions became irregular when I reached Kerala, blame it on the unpredictable weather here. So, to avoid walking and getting wet in the rains, I bought a cross trainer from a friend who was leaving Trivandrum. He used it as a medium to dry his clothes and it seems, his daughter was having fun with it playing seesaw. He would’ve decided to part with it either because the deal was a steal for him, or because he could finally see somebody making use of it. Well, the latter didn’t happen. I used to work on the cross trainer initially like a kid who gets a new toy, but gradually, the frequency of using it reduced. And, before even I could realize, I started ignoring its presence in the room just like how couples end up being in a long loveless marriage. My dad once got so worried that he said, “Vimal, will you please use that exercise thing you have? We are no longer bothered about your weight; we have lost hope. But the machine, that needs to be used, or else, it would lose its lubrication and you would’ve to sell it for scraps. Use the machine atleast for the machines sake; show some sympathy towards it”!!! What to do; at times your brain, however old you are, goes back to those teenage years where you just ignore all these kinda advices, especially from parents!

But honestly, I started feeling the pinch too. None of my clothes were fitting me again and I ended up getting new formal trousers every three months; the mirrors and the cameras were refusing to include me in the same frame; had to do something urgently before I end up looking like a furniture at home! After spending considerable amount of weeks thinking on the options, I finally decided to join a gym. I, first, approached a celebrity gym which was near my place. They conducted a complete body assessment and scared me so much so that I kept wondering if I entered a gym or a Horror Maze in one of those amusement parks! However, inspite of all the marketing gimmicks, I didn’t join the place because of the exorbitant rates. Meanwhile, I happened to tell my brother about this gym and when I told him that actor Mohanlal goes to this place, he commented with his usual sarcasm, “ Mohanlal, huh ! Now you know how good that gym is!”

After a few gym hunts in the locality, I finally joined an awesome place. Those guys were less than a month old, with all the latest equipments and a good team of trainers. Moreover, they gave me an exciting introductory offer which was too hard to resist. For a change, I visited this place regularly and that too, working out every day for almost 2 hrs continuously. This gym was on my way to office and so, it was convenient to visit the place when I return home. Things went well, and I started showing some improvement in a months’ time. Oh, you know very well what happens after that sentence!!! Yeah, all good things need to end and blah blah!

I really don’t know how, but I managed to ‘earn’ a back ache during one of those sessions at the gym. For all I remember, this pain was there right from the second week. I thought it was just another muscle pain, from all the workouts, and chose to ignore it. It wasn’t hurting when I walk, or sit; but it did, when I bend backwards. I informed the trainers about the situation, and even they passed it off as a usual muscle pain. I kept working out this way for almost a month, but after a point, the pain became beyond ignorable. I consulted a physiotherapist at the gym; they had their own exclusive physiotherapist clinic upstairs and I used to wonder why! This guy took me to a huge room that had just two beds and a few ultra sound instruments, and asked me stay there. After a while, he brought in another guy and I had to explain the whole thing with flashbacks. They looked at each other for a second and :

Physio 1 (with a straight face) : Ok, remove your clothes!

Me : Whaaaat ??? (5 sec pause) Why????

Physio 2 : We need to see where the pain is.

Me : I already showed that to you. It’s right over here (pointing at the pain area on my back)

Physio 2 : Yeah, we know. But we need to see you move.

Me : Really? Can’t you just treat me without all this?

Physio 1 : Not possible. Remove your shirt and walk to and fro. And, stop only when we ask you to.

Me : (I walked like a model on a fashion show ramp, to and fro, without my shirt; grumbling throughout)

Physio 1 : Ok, please remove your trousers also.

Me : (Gulp!!!!) I could just lower the trousers if that could help.

Physio 2 : No, we need to see the exact position of your backbone.

And, so I walked once again, to and fro, with just my boxers. After a hectic day at office, a strip show is the last thing anybody should be doing in front of two guys. I seriously wasn’t enjoying the free show, and I am sure they wouldn’t have been too, for that’s how attractive my body is😀😀😀 The next thing they asked me to do was lie down on my back. One of them pressed on the pain area and remarked, “So, this is where it pains, eh?” I couldn’t help sighing at that moment!!! At times, when I tell people something, they just don’t seem to understand it the way I want!

So, that was all about the show. No, they don’t have a recorded version of it, unless they had cameras installed in some corner of the room. Who knows; I might end up being a youtube star soon!! Those who came in here just for the strip show, I am sorry if it wasn’t spicy enough; you could stop reading at this point. And, for those who wants to know how my back is now, read on:

Those guys at the gym tried to sell their physiotherapist sessions, with a special package for existing members. But it turned out way too expensive for me. But who wants free sauna baths and daily dietician sessions, when all that required was to get my injured back back😛😛😛 After getting two months’ extension from the gym, I visited another physiotherapist in the city and I am currently under treatment, wearing funny belts on my chest and doing a lot of exercises which, apparently, do not help me in reducing my weight!

Once I get over with my back problem, I might continue the gym until the subscription period and after that, I am just going to continue with my walks. And yeah, I still have that cross trainer at home, might as well make use of it too. You know what guys, I stopped dreaming about being trim and fit. I feel, my weight isn’t destined to get reduced and I am probably one of those who had been sent to this world to remain as a fat guy.

Btw, fat is cute, isn’t it ?😛😛😛





Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 68 other followers

%d bloggers like this: