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Holy Pig !!!

June 25, 2016

Armaan has always been a happy go lucky guy who likes to joke a lot. He is known for his sarcasm and doesn’t give two hoots on what people might think or feel. However, his intentions are never bad, atleast most of the time. Since people around him never took him seriously, he could get away saying anything he wanted and he enjoyed that luxury.

But, this time, in office, he got into a situation. While working with one of his female colleague on a crucial client deliverable, he made a comment on something he noticed in her bay. But, that casual remark of his didn’t go well with her which led to a huge hullabaloo inside office.

He was asked to surrender before the women harassment cell in his office to give a convincing explanation for his ‘misbehaviour with a female colleague’. The harassment cell in his office (the author doesn’t know if this is the case with other offices too) included two feminists and one weak guy who doesn’t have a voice against his dominating counterparts. His presence in the committee is more like an ‘eye wash set-up’ to show the male lot that the harassment committee is there for them as well. But, which committee for women has ever listened to a man!

The day when Armaan met the harassment cell in office

“You know the reason why you are here, don’t you?” asked one of the lady. Armaan had reported to this lady in the past and with his notorious exit from the team, he was sure that things wouldn’t be in his favour. The other lady is from the HR, with whom his wife had asked him not to interact. Armaan’s wife has neither seen this HR lady nor has she interacted with her, but his wife feels that the lady is way too cute and is always flirting with Armaan.

“Yes”, he replied, “and trust me, it is not a wonderful feeling to be here in this room with you all!”

Weak guy : You mean, you want to move to another meeting room? Errr…ok ok, you meant…

Ex Boss (interrupting) : We are equally embarrassed, Armaan, to have you here. Especially me, because you were in my team once.

Armaan : But, I didn’t say…

Cute HR : You owe us an explanation Armaan. Is it because you don’t respect women?

Armaan (remembers his wife’s instructions, answers her by looking at his Ex Boss) : It’s not that. I have been…

Cute HR : Then, what is it Armaan? What is it? You think you can say anything to all the helpless women in this world and get away with it? Gone are the days when you could suppress, oppress and depress women. Do you know Malala? Do you know Michelle Obama ? Do you know Sonia Gandhi?

Armaan (looking at his Ex Boss) : Wait…Sonia Gandhi? Seriously? (pauses) Look guys, what I am trying to say is….

Cute HR : Armaan, don’t show your anti-congress traits here. You need to understand the pain that these women had to go through to be noticed in this world which is forever dominated by men.

Ex Boss : Armaan, what went wrong? Please speak up. If you dont, we would have to go by the protocol.

Armaan : Sure. See, there was a task which I had given her two weeks ago with a deadline. She not only missed the deadline…..

Cute HR : But, she said she had to conduct her child’s birthday party and there were a lot of preparations for which she had to take leave.

Armaan (looking at his Ex Boss): If her daughter’s bday was so important to her, she could’ve mentioned it before. I would’ve given the task to somebody else in the team.

Cute HR : Armaan, first of all, you have a very bad eye contact. Each time I ask you a question, you look at her and reply. This attitude isn’t helping us. And, secondly, what do you mean by “if birthday was so important?” You are saying a woman can’t have other priorities in life other than listening to men? And, she is a mother. You are depriving a mother’s right to conduct a birthday party for her child. You should be ashamed.

Ex Boss (brushing her hair with her fingers and adjusting her specs) : Armaan, she is right. Bad body language. You are looking only at me, and that is starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable.

Armaan (finally placing his eyes at the HR) : I didn’t mean that. What I was trying to….

Weak guy :  and yes, I am not in invisible mode here. You can look at me too. By the way, my mom has told me that if a person doesn’t have proper eye contact while speaking, it means, he/she is feeling guilty. I love my mom. She is the best cook in this world. She can’t be wrong.

Armaan (scratching his head and wondering if he is actually in a multinational firm) : For heavens sake, will you guys let me talk?

After a brief silence, Armaan continued : See, I don’t know how this allegation came up. I gave her some work two weeks ago, she kept delaying it and when it was time for her to deliver, she left for her child’s birthday party without passing it on to anybody else. After I managed to get a buy in from the client for an extension on the deliverable, I decided to work along with her. The moment I saw her workstation and her desktop, I commented, “Please clean up all this mess. It looks like a pigsty”.

“Aaaaaahhh” went the HR;

“Ooooooohh” went his Ex Boss;

“Teeeehheee” went the other guy. Well, he was checking his whatsapp messages.

Ex Boss : You called her a pig…..on her face….in front of eveybody??

Armaan : Errrr…. Why are you all acting so surprised now?

Weak guy : Yes, but it’s in our script to go over-the-top at such situations, even though we know what it is.

Armaan : But wait, when did I ever call her a pig? I was referring to her workstation and desktop, and that too, only to her. She got so worked up and started yelling at me for calling her a pig. And, that is when everybody noticed.

Cute HR : Tch Tch Tch Armaan. Your attitude is worse than I thought. How long are you men going to ask us to clean up places? Are we born only to keep things tidy?

Armaan : Whats wrong in tidying up your own place? It is a healthy practice, isn’t it? Don’t you guys send out mailers regularly explaining the importance of a clear workspace and desktop?

Ex Boss : Armaan, that is a totally different context. You are not supposed to talk like this to a woman. Pig is a very strong word these days, it is no longer just an animal.

Armaan : But I didn’t call her a pig and I wouldn’t have felt this miserable if I had actually called her a pig. For crying out loud, I was just referring to…

Cute HR (looking at the committee members): and, not just calling her a pig. He, like all the other men, expected her to clean up the office and even penalised her for attending her own child’s birthday party.

Weak guy (to the members) : Woah, so, that’s three allegations against him! We have never got such an elaborate case earlier! I hope this adds upto our appraisals!

Armaan : But, she had a problem only with the ‘pig’ !! And, why does anybody have to be so touchy?

Cute HR : Touch is a very strong word these days, it is no longer just a sensation. It creates sensation!

Ex Boss : Armaan, it looks like you are a serious offender. Look Armaan, we are here to enlighten women on their rights, to make sure they enjoy as much freedom here as they enjoy at home.

Just then, the Cute HR’s phone rings, she goes out of the room and attends the call, “I will be home soon…sorry…yes, I will cook…no, will not make your mom cook….don’t worry…your pants?…they are lying in the cupboard…yes, I arranged your wardrobe…honey..honey…please don’t shout…it looked so untidy…I am sorry…..what?..oh yes…I paid all the bills except electricity….I really didn’t get time honey….i am so sorry…no no…you don’t have to go…I will…please give me time..pl..hello…hello..” She immediately gets into the room to vent out her frustration on the hapless ‘harasser’ inside.

Cute HR : Armaan, no more explanations. You will have to change your attitude and learn to live in harmony with the opposite sex. You will have to start respecting women from now on and one more complaint against you, we would have to take a stronger action. As of now, our victim demands only a public apology from you. We shall arrange a session tomorrow. You can go.

Weak guy : and yeah, come tomorrow! Don’t kill your already deceased grandfather or uncle!

The day when Armaan was asked to apologise publicly to the victim, in the office

“Madam…yes, henceforth, I shall address the women in my office like that…I have been asked to render an apology to you in public for comparing you with God. Yes, with God. I maybe an atheist, but you are a strong believer of the Hindu religion, aren’t you? So, what offended you, I wonder. Looking at you, I am sure there would’ve have been a few who had compared you to the moon, and you would’ve happily accepted it too. But, have you realised that moon is round and fat, and is filled with holes and craters?

Parallely, Armaan’s well wishers who are listening to his so-called public apology does the ‘facepalm’.

I am really sorry for having you called a God, if that’s what you really wanted from me. And, I take back my words. Your workplace and your desktop do not look like Gods heavenly abode. But if you really think, by reacting this way, you have actually insulted your God. You have failed yourself as a worshipper of God. Why do you look so lost now, Madam? If you know your Gods really well, you will also know that pig is an avatar of Lord Vishnu – Varaaha. Your Lord Krishna was also one of the avatars of Lord Vishnu. I doubt if Lord Vishnu will ever forgive you for showing such discretion to one of his avatars. You behaved like a racist. You have shown disgust towards Vishnu, towards Hinduism, towards the faith of all the Hindus sitting here. But again, I am sorry, if that makes you happy.”

By now, everybody in office has their palm on their respective faces. One of them even had his legs on his face.

Armaan turned towards the committee and asked, “Am I done? Or….”

The weak guy opens his wallet and looks at Lord Vishnu’s picture in it. He touches the pic, does one of those typical Hindu gestures on seeing God and tells himself, “Holy Cow, I mean, Pig! He is right! A Pig is as much a God as Krishna is!”

The HR lady walks away without uttering a word, opens her laptop to draft a letter and says to herself, “That guy needs to be suspended; atleast for a week!”

The other lady, his ex boss, stares at him with eyes wide open. And, without any reaction, tells, “Armaan, you need psychiatric help!”

Confessions of a first timer!

May 19, 2016

“First time??  Are you serious?? You are 35, right?” – this was the response from almost all of them when I mentioned about my interest in voting this time. Quite natural for them to feel that way considering the fact that I go on and on about the lack of basic civic sense amongst us Indians. In my defense, I was never around in my native during the elections. And, if I am not wrong, this is the first time it’s happening on a Monday so that I could go home for an extended weekend. But to think of it, that’s not all. I think I am finally growing up🙂 Politics and sports are two areas where I never showed any interest in the past. Sports is still nowhere close, but thanks to the social media and the news coverage these days, politics has been really intriguing.

The scene is a little funny here in Kerala; we have never had the same government for more than 5 years; atleast for a couple of decades. We, Keralites, are so generous that we give both the leading parties, the UDF (Congress) and the LDF (CPIM), equal opportunities to take advantage of us. Oh, BJP is a pretty new entrant here, having said that, it would be interesting to see how far the Lotus will be allowed to bloom.

The day I told my brother that I was going to vote this time, he asked me a very simple question, “so, whom are you going to vote?” I guess,I was just excited by the fact that I am finally going to vote and never actually thought to whom I should give it. To start with, I do not follow any specific ideology. My dad and his family are staunch communists, whereas my mom and her family are congress followers. I can’t deny the fact that there is a communist or a socialist in me; it could be the genes or the kind of values that were instilled during my upbringing. However, I would not leave my current way of living to be one of them and it would only make me a bourgeoisie if I said I am a communist. Most of the arm chair communists or today’s social media communists and even some of the leaders today fall under the bourgeoisie category, but yeah, they are never going to agree to this.

I am not religiously inclined either to make a blind choice. Religion was never part of our homes, not even today. So supporting a fascist party is again a no-no for me. Oh God, they might ban me or brand me anti-national for writing this. Or even worse, put me behind bars for a while and make me a national hero! I do respect the PM and his various initiatives for growth, but I hope he kept his bandar-log in check and asked them not to get touchy on really trivial issues. The only other party left is the UDF (how ironic is that sentence). UDF, or Congress, in Kerala is a mess. What am I saying ! Congress as a whole is a huge mess. I really don’t understand what people see in them to cast their votes. As a saying in Malayalam goes, it’s like giving the keys to your house to the best burglar around. And over here, it is like asking the burglar to stay around for a while, take bath, have dinner and get a good sleep. Of course, they did bring development to Kerala in the last 5 years in spite of all the opposition they faced from ‘Left’, Right and ‘Center’ (and I mean, literally). But none of us can forget the scams that had come out in the open. Some of them are yet to be proved, but yeah, we know what the Congress is capable of, don’t we ?😛😛

So, the obvious choice for me was to support LDF, or the Communist party. But they lost all my respect in the last two years by stooping to the worst levels possible. Allegations that involve a moral less woman and her connection with the CM who must be her dads age, and constantly dragging his name with cheap innuendos, is totally uncalled for. If this is how you want to develop a good will amongst the public, sorry guys, you just lost a couple of votes for being obnoxious. These baseless distasteful accusations and their desperate attempts for attention by opposing any new initiative put forward by the ruling party made me realize that these aren’t the people I need to get associated with. Also, nothing wrong in working for the down trodden, but that doesn’t mean you shun any development for the people in the upper strata. Come on, they are tax paying citizens too. And, like I mentioned earlier, they have had their share of governance after every 5 years; the poor has always remained poor. Even if they got continuous governance, I am not sure if it would make any difference. A good example we have is West Bengal, where they were in power for more than 30 years continuously, after which they lost pathetically to Trinamool Congress. Oh, speaking of West Bengal, we know what happened to both the parties there. If Guinness Book of Records had a category for shamelessness, those guys would win it hands down. So, two parties who are arch rivals here in Kerala, are brothers in arms in a state that is normally considered as a cousin of Kerala. I realised politics doesn’t have any friend or foe, only a bunch of idiots as blind supporters.

The campaigns, this time, were so in your face and to be honest, a little annoying. I don’t see any opposition party going out of their way and getting a bus shed built or a public toilet or doing anything that could be a little helpful without expecting anything in return, not even votes. The money that each of the political parties had spent in the last few weeks in the name of elections could have been used for any of the right causes and that itself would’ve been the best campaign for them. Also, commotion is not campaigning; many a times we, the public, are at the receiving end of these campaigns. When the end objective is to serve the public, it doesn’t really make sense when the same public is getting infuriated with your campaigns.

So back to that simple question, whom do I vote? My decision has to be solely based on the individual and not a party. And, for this, I have to understand the candidates, their background, their election manifestos or what have they done so far for their constituency. I did check with my dad and also did a little bit of research myself, but was still indecisive. During this period, friends and really close relatives started influencing me to vote for their desired party. Nobody knew who was standing and what he/she represents; all they cared for was the party. Even if they had criminal background, it was fine with them and this logic was too dim-witted for my understanding. It’s not that I have too many choices, but each time I thought about my own reasoning of forget the party and vote for the individual, the party did come in between.

And, trust me this thought kept disturbing me until I went inside the polling booth. The officials took my ID card and verified, inked my finger and asked me to proceed to the booth. I saw the three options in front of me now – the Sickle, the Palm and the Lotus. In addition to that, there were three other options too – two independent candidates, I guess, and the option of NOTA (None Of The Above). Why would people click on NOTA, I thought – is it when they are indecisive, like me, or is it when you have no hopes or regards on the candidates who are contesting? I couldn’t stay longer there; people are waiting to ‘exercise their right’. The mind started playing again, but I let my brain take over the heart for a change, and I finally pressed on the option I felt best.

By the end of today, we will know who is going to govern Kerala for the next couple of years. Fingers crossed! I exercised my right alright, but I am still not sure if I did the right thing. This inner voice, it keeps telling me that I have not wasted my vote. But why did it turn out so challenging? Would it have been this difficult if I had a good choice? Or, atleast, a better one?

An open letter to Snapdeal!

February 20, 2016

Edited to add : I finally got the other half of the charger today (29th Feb). Thanks  people, for the support and encouragement.

Leo got his award and I got my charger; whatta day !

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Dear Snapdeal,

This is my first open letter to anybody and let me take this moment to thank you for providing me this wonderful opportunity. Don’t gloat yet; there are many more ‘thanks’ as you read on.

Thank you for teaching me what tolerance means when the whole country was confused with this term last year. Look Team Snapdeal, when somebody orders a laptop charger (Order no.11125320451, Jan 14 2016), he/she would normally expect the whole thing to arrive. Not once (Jan 21), not twice (Feb 5), but THRICE (Feb 18), you sent me only half my order, that is, half the charger. I still haven’t learnt the art of charging laptops with half the charger; they didn’t teach me this at school, NIIT or later in office, dammit!

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I really want to know what happened to the better half of my charger; this, I find, is as mysterious as the missing flight of Malaysia or the Bermuda triangle. I mean, how can somebody pack and send half the order thrice, inspite of multiple emails and follow up calls. Oh, btw, your customer care executives are a bunch of super intellectuals; they advised me to buy the rest of the charger from the market, and even this happened twice. They taught me what patience means. Tell me something, who in their sane mind will sell half the charger and if at all, I have to go to the market to get it, I wouldn’t have approached you guys in the first place. That said, I appreciate your replacement process; only if you showed the same dedication in delivering the order properly.

I am left with no other choice now but to approach consumer court; have never done it before and thanks in advance for the experience. It has never been about the money, it is about the trauma a customer faces while dealing with unprofessional teams like you and also, let me see if I could get justice (big word, I know!); I read your recent tussle with Mr. Nikhil Bansal, which just opened my eyes.

And, speaking of purchase, never ever will I come to you guys for anything, and that’s only because I do not have the reputation to do mistakes more than twice. Not that my small order would make any difference to you, but I shall ensure to tell anybody I get associated with to stay as far as possible from the blunder that is Snapdeal. Oh, I missed to include thanks in this para. Thanks for the realization!

Btw, who packs your stuffs? One helluva sadist this person should be to play this prank over and over again, until it turned out this humourless!

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People, please do share this. I am not asking Snapdeal to compensate me with a laptop, all I am asking for is the ‘rest of my order’; the other half is feeling naked, it seems!

I miss her!

October 24, 2015

I must have told this like a dozen times to myself over the last couple of months….i know she cant hear…infact, now I know that she doesn’t want to hear this anymore……it was me who left her…it was my decision..but…

We were perfect for each other and complemented one another on everything…we had ended our nights together….we had woken up together….we teased each other…we fought together…..we walked together….we watched movies and listened to music together….she was a huge fan of my songs and had kept all of them preserved with her… there was and will never be anybody as deserving as her to have all of them….. she was the first person to listen to my songs  and I always wanted it that way…..but now, I have lost all rights…

There was a time when she was always in my hands; sometimes on my lap; sometimes on my chest, sometimes on my face …my day started with her hi and it ended with the last bye…..never realized her value until I really lost her…I couldn’t ask for a better best friend…so was I for her, I know…both of us were addicted to one another and there wasn’t a single day where we have not been in touch…and seeing us together, there were a lot of raised eyebrows and asking why were we always together…..

Some of us fall in love so many times…I did…but then, after being with her, it was the end of my search for love…I knew we were meant for each other….we still are….and she is aware of it too…. people around us advised and did all they could to keep us away…we fought them….atleast tried our best…but all battles aren’t won… like all relationships, we were subjected to a lot of strain….misunderstandings started creeping in……we heard each other…we stopped listening to each other….

I once said, every relationship has an expiry date or atleast, a best before date….never ever thought my words would stab me one day from behind….an accident changed our lives…she couldn’t withstand it anymore inspite of my relentless efforts to keep her with me…and post the trauma, i couldn’t be with her too….moving on from her was the most difficult thing I have ever done….I did it for her happiness….she was in constant stress….and the only way to relieve her from her pain was for me to be away…..hope she would realize it someday that I am no good for her anymore….. Her relief is more important to me, even if it means that I have to force myself to exist in a loveless union…

I have heard people say that one could be special for sometime, but not all the time….however, what I have for her even today proves that she will always remain special to me…..we are not together now….we might never be able to…. but she will always mean the world to me….i miss my tan – ta-daan…….Sony Xperia Arc S.

Whatever happened to Superman’s underwear ?

August 15, 2013

Disclaimer : It has nothing to do with the new Superman movie and is hardly about the Superhero himself. It’s only about his underwear😛😛

This post is probably coming out really late, but I am still clueless on what happened to Superman. He has always been this mentally challenged superhero who didn’t know how to dress; the red underwear always over the blue pants he wore. But now, look at him closely; doesn’t he appear vulgar to you all?

The new Superman!

So, has the retard finally started putting things in the right place? That can’t be the reason, because Superman was never allowed to grow up. We always wanted him to be this handsome guy who saves the world and then appear as a totally different person just by sporting a spectacle, sulking for Lois Lane throughout his life. When I watched the promos of the new Superman movie, I couldn’t help but notice the guys new look. I initially thought that the plotline had something to do with his underpants and him fighting with the super villain to get it back, who apparently stole it from Superman’s backyard where it was left for drying. But alas, it’s not what I imagined. People all over the world are dying to know the reason. There are various sites in the internet which lead you to this topic and there is also a page in FB dedicated for this cause. It is certainly a serious issue that is bothering the world and we Indians, as usual, aren’t doing anything about it.

I know it’s a fashion these days to blame the government for everything, but why aren’t they taking any initiative to solve the mystery! Our PM, as usual, is quiet. Not that I expect to hear anything out of him unless it’s Republic / Independence Day, but what happened to his ministers. They were always good at being out spoken and coming up with really creative statements like ‘Hearty meal available for Rs.12 ’ or for shamelessly calling their own colleague an ‘Item’. I am telling you, this government is really hopeless; they are just not worried about the feelings of a common man. Leave the ruling party, the opposition has also not been doing their job! They have not created any stir on this matter which is a very bad sign; total disregard for democracy, I say! However, I am glad that neither the ruling nor the opposition accused any of our neighbours for the whole underwear issue; poor fellas, one is busy fixing tents across India and the other is busy hiding really important people in their country and then denying it.

While the ruling and opposition are constantly trying to find faults with each other, it has been the minorities who always came forward to react for the right causes. Mind you, only for the right causes! Early this year they had saved India and its citizens from the evil clutches of a man named Kamal Haasan; they managed to stop the screening of one of his harmless movies for almost a month. The superhero community in India is one such minority, comprising of duds like Krishh, G.One, Drona, Doga and Shaktimaan. But none of these guys came out to support Superman or even help him find his underwear. I am sure, this subject would’ve been taken up seriously had Superman been a Marathi, or if he at least had some Marathi connection. No hartals, no press meets, no hunger strikes; we, in India, are used to nation-wide bandh for these kind of issues!!! Which reminds me, what happened to all those countless jobless Babas and fake Gandhians (the adjective can be used either wise; wouldn’t make a difference)? They would’ve easily received publicity on an international scale only if they had conducted some hunger strike at the Times Square in New York or near the Big Ben in London. Apparently, the ‘Gandhian’ we all know is leading an Independence Day parade in New York tomorrow and I just hope he takes up this issue; better late than never!

Speaking of publicity, I wonder why Bollywood has also not reacted to this yet. The whole film fraternity was sad when a film actor turned part-time terrorist turned film actor again was sent to jail for a crime he actually committed, but nobody, no single soul, to think about Superman. I mean, is this the kind of respect we give to a person who has been ‘trying’ to save our world for so long? Take your ‘co-star’ for vacations to Spain, but please don’t turn your head away from basic responsibilities. To be honest, I was waiting for Aamir to raise this concern in some forum, but the poor guy speaks only when his movie is about to release or when his show is about to air on TV. You can’t blame him, old habits die hard. The other two supposedly super stars have always been socially irresponsible, and all that they care about now is to find a public place to hug each other, so that the media can wag their tongues behind them for a fortnight asking, “Why did you hug?”, “How was the hug?”, “Will you keep hugging from now on?”, “When will be the next hug”, etc.

I really don’t understand how the media works. As far as I know, they have been keen and have always shown enthusiasm to cover significant themes like ‘wardrobe malfunction’. This was like the Mother of all wardrobe malfunction and yet no coverage in print or visual. And again, of all the people, how come Arnab is quiet ? How did he manage to survive so far without making even one comment on the underwear? There should’ve been countless ‘one man debates’ by now considering the gravity of the situation. Expecting him to be silent is like watching white crows fly upside down on a snowy day in Rajasthan!!! Why do I get the feeling that there is a conspiracy, a global conspiracy, behind this? The media, the politicians and the celebrities of India, all have their index finger on their respective mouth, like obeying instructions from some bigger power!

I am equally surprised why the social media, and particularly, the bloggers in India chose to remain hushed this time. This is when we should’ve initiated another Chaddi campaign. Imagine the kind of international ‘exposure’ we would’ve got. Many of us, as usual, could’ve simply signed online petitions and felt ecstatic about what we did. And not to forget, patting on our own back and making tall claims like, “Oh, I have contributed a lot to the society”, all this without nudging a muscle from our arm chair. But it’s too late now to react. Or, is it?
Too many questions, but no convincing answer! But if anybody reading this has, I would appreciate if you could kindly come forward and explain. I have been having sleepless nights thinking about Superman’s plight. I have never been this worried about anybody’s underwear, not even mine! I need help! We all need help!

The world is definitely going through one of its toughest times. I hope atleast the officials in UN assemble to find a solution to this grave issue. People, you must understand, Superman isn’t somebody for US alone; he is a world-wide property! If a superhero like him can lose his underwear, how safe are we in this world?? Think about it !!!

A post, jhaast* like that !!

December 30, 2012
  • I was totally wrong earlier; had written sometime ago that ‘all’ relationships came with an expiry date. Actually, only some of them do; the rest of them come with a ‘best before date’😀😀 Now, what triggered this realization? I donno, came out jhaast like that !
  • It’s raining item numbers in Bollywood now, so much so that there are two-three such songs with different leading artistes in a single movie. But to think of it, these item numbers have been part of our culture and tradition since ages. Even the so-called Gods enjoy them; if it is Malaika and Rakhee on earth, it is Menaka and Rambha up there !
  • As a last resort to my weight reduction circus, I recently joined a swimming class. And, unlike normal swimming pools with chlorine water, this is a natural pond.  And guess, who my new friends are – MEN IN UNDERWEAR and we have tortoises too, to give us company, trying to escape from these men. I am not worried about drowning anymore, but every time I come out of the pond, I check twice to see if there are any tortoises clinging onto the ‘you-know-where’ parts in my body. Why do I check twice – jhaast like that !
  • It’s time people who work in the censor board industry used their brains. They certify movies like ‘Heroine’ or ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ with an ‘A’ certificate and simply ignored to do the same for movies like ‘3 Idiots’ and ‘Taare Zameen Par’ in the past. Kids, I tell you; all they need is an excuse to stay away from books and parents are now finding it difficult to get their children educated. Such movies are meant only for parents, and definitely not for kids😉
  • Somebody recently told me that I live in two worlds. Very true, and I would never deny that; not that I am enjoying such a life. The fact that isn’t visible to anybody is that I live in one and merely exist in the other. Very soon, this dual life of mine would end, and I would be existing in both the worlds –jhaast like that !
  • Donno how many of you know this, but I am ‘officially’ a father now. It took me a month and a half, but the feeling of fatherhood has finally sunk in. Yeah, I visit baby store these days searching for diapers and stuffs that would make him feel comfortable. My heart loses a beat each time I see him cough and realised why my father panics even now when I have a low fever. Btw, he is named ‘Viaan’; more about him and how he got his name in some other post. Considering the frequency of posts here these days, I hope to publish it in 2013 itself.
  • It has just been six months and my brother-in-law has already started cribbing about his marriage life. Oh, I so want to look into his eyes one day and say, “You are way luckier than I am buddy; atleast, you have in-laws who are normal” and then, end it with a “Buhahahahahaha” – jhaast like that !
  • Off late, people have been commenting that I sugar-coat my words and get away with whatever I have got to say or write, with just a smirk or a ‘:P’. Probably, it’s true; earlier, I used to keep my mouth shut and never reacted, thinking what the other person would feel. I don’t know when this transformation took place, but blogging has certainly played a good role in it. And no, I am not apologetic at all, because I realized, speaking your heart out is actually a better way to maintain relationships. People who understand you, will stay back with you, and the others, should we really care😛😛😛. See, I left the ‘😛 ‘ s – jhaast like that !
  • Guess what, when those two girls got arrested recently for a harmless FB post, one for posting and the other for liking it, I actually got a little excited. I had once written a post on some of the religions and was wondering if anybody would notice that now and get their sentiments hurt; I really wanted to. Not because I could get arrested and be a celebrity over night, but because it had comments from some of you guys, all of them agreeing to what I had written. Wouldn’t it be great to have a bloggers meet at the government’s expense with full media attention?
  • Ok, so the world didn’t end after all. You might find it stupid, but honestly, I was looking forward to a catastrophe that would end everything, once and for all. My only wish was that if the world is ‘planning’ to end, it should happen in one single whoooooooooosssshhh ! Yeah, there shouldn’t be anybody left behind to cry. You might ask me why I ever wanted it in the first place; I donno, probably, I have seen everything and there is nothing more that I need to achieve. Or, could be because I don’t have the courage to see any of my dear and near ones leave this world before me. But when you end, the world ends with you, right? Anyway, wish you all a happy new year,  jhaast like that !

Jhaast* – got this usage from one of my friends, and now I am totally addicted to it, jhaast like that !

Him, Her and the Other !!! – My new short video

September 25, 2012

Finally, here it is! I have been thinking of sharing this video over here for over a month now.  Errr, to be precise, ever since it was created and showcased way back in April this year for our office annual day celebrations.

The video is about an extra marital affair with cinematography by Vijay Sanker, along with my song in the background, and stars my colleagues, Sheena Arnold and Vijay Tilak (ex-colleague now).

Both the video and the song were well received by the audience and it was simply an out of the world feeling when, at the end, all that we could see and hear were camera flashes and applauses🙂🙂

I don’t know if I had mentioned this enough, but I sincerely thank each and every one who has worked in this video, from the whole of my heart, especially, Sheena Arnold, Vijay Tilak and Vijay Sanker; you guys made one of my dreams come true.

The video has now been edited for public viewing, giving due credit to people who have helped me in creating the video and also, having ‘V-lokam’ in the beginning, which if I had in the original video would have made no sense to my office folks😛😛

Oh yes, if you had noticed the initial credits, you would’ve also noticed the name of a blogger. She was such a sweetheart being available all the time, gave me a few suggestions and also, came up with a better title; the original title was ‘He, She and the Other’ ! Thanks a ton, buddy, for being my guinea pig🙂🙂

And, here’s a write up on the show that appeared in our office magazine, soon after our annual day.

Oh, I just can’t stop flaunting myself, can I ?😛😛😛

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