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When you are not single you :

January 19, 2009
  • lose all the time and freedom that you once enjoyed !
  • are forced to change your orkut status and also unjoin all the ‘single’ communities!
  • are supposed to act exceptionally decent and friendly in public !
  • have to listen to “ when are we getting married” more than thrice a day. and the couples who have been married for more than a year, I really pity you guys. Oooops, gals too !
  • would be a victim of those filmy dialogues like “you don’t have time for me and all that you care is for your friends !”(please refer point number 1; you don’t have time for yourself yet you get blamed for not spending time. I mean, theres only 24 hrs in a day)
  • don’t get to eat everything and anything that you like !
  • have to find replies for annoying questions like, “who was on the call”, “where does all your money go”, “why is your friend (of the opposite sex) asking me too many questions”, “ do you even know what time it is”, “you drink???”, “oh, you don’t drink???”, “who is more important, yourself or me?”
  • have to answer mushy questions like, “do you remember the day we met”, “ do you still remember that stranger with the green shirt who was sitting beside us when we were having sipping coffee?”, “ do you remember we had water from this place?”, “don’t you think our love is divine?”, “ don’t you think our kids will be cute?”,”do you remember what we did on Feb 31st, 1.04 pm”. Aaaaaarghhhh !!!
  • have to think twice to sport a beard ! (she might consider its sexy as long as its just a stuble but friends and relatives think you are ditched) This is applicable only to the male community unless…….
  • have to nod your head even if you disagree or do not understand a bit of what your counterpart is telling !
  • have to search for explanations (and it better be good ones) when you want to be friendly with a new person (obviously, of the opposite sex)!
  • would end up listening statements that freak you out – “There were/are so many behind me. You are lucky ‘cuz I chose you”, “You have changed so much”, “Our apartment will have this color and these type of furnitures”, “you are a hopeless romantic” !
  • have to attend calls in your deepest of sleep too.
  • would have to share your food, especially ice-creams.
  • have to get ready lying to friends and families.

Oh nooo, these arent any tips, I am just opening my mind a little too much. This, my friends, is called inviting trouble. LOL. These experiences did teach me a lot, but the sad part is that there isn’t an opportunity again for me to apply whatever I have learned. I am no pundit yet, but yes, I am getting there !!!

Disclaimer : A sage appeared in my dream and asked me to write this post. I am innocent and I have nothing to do with any of the above points.

PS: And yes, taking my present status into consideration, I am nominating this post for Poonams Avant Garde Bloggie Awards 2009 under “Most Courageous Post” !!

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55 Comments leave one →
  1. Ajit permalink
    January 20, 2009 2:36 am

    hahahaha 🙂 good one dude….
    one more:
    When you are not single, you keep dreading the fact that your phone is going to ring all the time (especially when you are out with the guys getting sloshed).
    and when you are single, you want the phone to ring all the time….

  2. Reema permalink
    January 20, 2009 3:14 am

    Poor thing you! So i assume u changed ur orkut status at last 😉 LOL commitment is a state of mind..any orkut status wont make feel oneself committed unless one doesnt feel it from inside.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    January 20, 2009 4:28 am

    The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast:

    The chicken was ‘involved’
    The pig was ‘committed’.

  4. Rakesh Vanamali permalink
    January 20, 2009 4:38 am

    Lol Vimmuuu…… I’m gonna wait n see how this is gonna play on ur life…… and sadly mine too :(((

    Btw, I hope you got this post cleared for publishing, else its gonna be one tuf thing to manage………

  5. soneeta permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:19 am

    hmmm…
    and after writing so much,looks like we r d one who keep eating up ur head,right.

    nw u know how many things u r going to listern from ur girl for commenting so much…..

    u dont change ur orkut status coz u know dt onces it is committed,thn girlz will not b intrested in u..

    u dont remember things coz u juz dont pay attention to what we are saying,infact u dont care abt wht we say.looks like u some times u take us for granted….n u keep wanderind in ur own stupid thoughts of sports n all guys crapy stuffs…and so when we when we ask abt nethng form the past u have no answer…

    n y cant u be decent n emotional..afterall,dtz wht we need…
    n ofcourse we need time n sometimes we have to remind u that we r still present in the world”call me.i m
    waiting”….

    and lots of other thngs….
    and finally we dont scream n cry “i m not single ne more,why why why..mama”

  6. vishesh permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:34 am

    lol 🙂

  7. Bedazzled permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:51 am

    u r going to get beaten up .. hee hee .. so finally off “single and waiting to mingle” community in orkut?? hee hee .. of course you should remember the green shirt guy .. wats wrong with u men ??? u shud make a scrap book out of all those precious memories.. ;-)..so glad that dhaadi is off .. u looked like devadas ..

  8. oorjas permalink
    January 20, 2009 6:20 am

    r u sure ur girl is not reading this or it could b a long night explaining this on the phone…. 😉

  9. myheadtrip permalink
    January 20, 2009 7:50 am

    Already a nomination for the "Most courageous post"!! So, instead of seeing the Devdas you, we are going to see the beaten black & blue you! 😀
    You forgot your high telephone bills, gifts for days like the first day we commented on each other's blog, day we spoke to each other over phone, day we said our parents met us, day we told our parents…well you get the gist!! 😀
    When you are not single, get off those single communities! Common sense ya! 🙂

  10. Solilo.. permalink
    January 20, 2009 8:29 am

    Just because of that sage disclaimer, I let you go of my scathing comments.

    Ha! Ha..just kidding. So did you change your Orkut status?

  11. Nautankey permalink
    January 20, 2009 8:33 am

    LOL..its not even a few months man. Comeon now stop cribbing like a baby and go and attend that call to explain who is that good-looking female in green tops found in ur orkut friend’s list. Better think of a proper explanation else u wont be there to get any awards 😛

  12. Smita permalink
    January 20, 2009 9:50 am

    My the ‘sole’ of her lovely sandal rest in piece 😀

  13. Veena Chech permalink
    January 20, 2009 11:12 am

    hahahaha..good post :)..Some tips to uer girl..if I am not wrong she is Sangeetha right??
    Sangeetha a tip..njoy this time of uers the most coz u are going see “MORE” changes in him after marriage..believe me its my experience :). The best time is before marriage for us gulz too !!:)..Some my exp. –
    1. You like something – Before – oh u like that one sec I’ll buy that for u..After – do u really need that?? Don’t you think its too expensive??
    2. Before -You talk for hours everyday, after – hmm what to talk, we are seeing each other daily right..lets watch some movie!!
    3. Before – We’ll have 2 kids or more?? After – Do u want it so soon?? Can’t we have some more time?? Just one ok..not more..I can’t..:)
    4. Before – can I just get one hug from u?? pleaseeeeee…After – y do u always keep sticking on to me!!
    Ahh..let me stop here..my list will go and on :)..Sorry Vims this comment is for Sangeetha..hope u pass on the tips to her!!

  14. Smitha permalink
    January 20, 2009 11:26 am

    Oh that was good 🙂 Congrats on ‘not being single anymore ‘ 🙂 Have to show this to my husband – am sure he will even be happy to comment on it for a change 🙂
    Am waiting to see what you say once you get married 🙂

  15. Veena Chech (Again :) ) permalink
    January 20, 2009 12:42 pm

    Oops forgot some tips to remember though..again talking from my 6 six yrs of married life and a yr before that..
    1. Trust – I am sure u must heard it everywehere..but its the most imp thing in any relationship..and most imp. when u are getting married coz this is the person u are going to spend rest of uer life. Have the confidence always that “whatever it may be I know he/she will not let me down”. Even after that if he/she does then he/she doesn’t deserve u!!
    2. Respect each others space..very very imp.. The moment you try to invade others space believe me there are chances to drift apart …what I have known is if u follow the first tip..this automatically comes.
    3. Never ever go to bed angry ( u are bound to have arguments!!)..don’t carry it over to the next day..always make it up..A kiss, hug and a sorry ( if u are wrong/not wrong) and that will solve all the problem :)..
    4. Last but not the least never compare uer other half with anybody..everyone is different..he/she is good in his/her own way..Luv the way they are!!
    All the very best for the future!!

  16. Oxy permalink
    January 20, 2009 1:12 pm

    U knew all this Boy and still.. still.. I am happy singling.. 🙂

    Lol, Getting aways so easily by putting it on some sage.. That sage was u only I am sure..

  17. arvind1187 permalink
    January 20, 2009 3:21 pm

    Phew ..
    thank god .
    I am single … 😀

  18. January 20, 2009 3:43 pm

    LOL! and u used to yearn for a girl friend!! its either tat the grass is always greener on the other side, or jus tat guys always find reasons to mock their girl friends!! 😛 wat ever! it was a nice compilation though..

    P.S. let us know if ur girlfriend really ditches u after reading this!! 😀

  19. kanagu permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:04 pm

    I am laughing at each and every point but what made me to ROFL is the disclaimer.. innocent you? unbelievable 😉

  20. Imran permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:34 pm

    Whatever guys feel is alltime correct and girls dont remember what guys tell them to do, except to think old stupid memories and expect even boys to remember what they dont forget, inspite of so many other commitments which guys have!

  21. Mario permalink
    January 20, 2009 5:42 pm

    I like that ,,, i assume that you knew all these before you ventured into it ,,,but what i could possible suggest to you if at all your open to suggestions ,, as you put out a list of all the sacrifices you would have to do when u get into a relationship ,, y not u list down all the positives that come out of it as well ,, so that you could match between the two and find out what reigns supreme at the end……just a suggestion.

  22. Praveen permalink
    January 20, 2009 6:54 pm

    courageous post indeed!
    am sure u’ll pay loads for those few sentences in ur blog…all ur life..hahahhahahaa

  23. Viviiiiii permalink
    January 20, 2009 8:47 pm

    Good one ..
    better get used to it ..
    I presume tat u have explained this to ur loved one already .. and u didnt see any change .. probably tats wat resulted in this..
    hehehe

  24. Rakesh permalink
    January 20, 2009 10:04 pm

    i think the sage is going to be dead meat now!!

    hey bhai i also heard tht the members of “Frustated singles” community are out to hunt u down for betraying them!hehe

    There have been a lot of times, when we( singles)get tormented, taunted and tortured by the mushy-mushy couples and their disgusting romantic tantrums. People might call it jealousy, but we dont care a damn ( or do we?) ! Hence, this is a forum where you could free your mind from the above mentioned 3 T’s and share your views about the same.
    This forum is only for the singles, so married and committed would be shot, and survivors would be shot again!!!’

    and now look who’s talking..hahha

    anyway bhai..i have also started blogging..chk it out..i need ur valuable opinion coz it was u who gave me motivation..hehe

  25. Smita permalink
    January 21, 2009 4:44 am

    Looks like the sage has disappeared….no guesses as to what happened to him 😀

  26. Poonam Sharma permalink
    January 21, 2009 5:35 am

    ha ha I will keep your nomination in mind for next year Avant Garde. 🙂 I will have to check out your orkut stsus, so this si why you are blogging less.

    When are you getting married? 😛 😛

    (You dont have to answer it, I am kidding.)

  27. aliceinneverland permalink
    January 21, 2009 7:16 am

    would be a victim of those filmy dialogues like “you don’t have time for me and all that you care is for your friends !”(please refer point number 1; you don’t have time for yourself yet you get blamed for not spending time. I mean, theres only 24 hrs in a day)

    yoooohhhoooo this was hilarious… 😀 😀

  28. nimis540 permalink
    January 21, 2009 7:47 am

    🙂 I think Vimmu is attacked by Cupid’s arrows..lol…

  29. soneeta permalink
    January 21, 2009 9:26 am

    hehehe
    dtz exactly the same thing i ask my fiancee every now n thn…”when are we getting married”…and he cool’y says”soon dear,soon”..i never knew that these all may be the things going back in his mind…need to ask him…and if he thinks the same like u do,thn he is going to get nicely…hehehe(i m serious)

  30. Chiranjib Mazumdar permalink
    January 21, 2009 10:14 am

    hmm… looks like you have already spurred a revolution! God bless you! 😦

  31. Anonymous permalink
    January 21, 2009 1:05 pm

    A universal fact about women:

    From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.

  32. Anonymous permalink
    January 21, 2009 1:08 pm

    Most WOMEN are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

  33. remabh permalink
    January 21, 2009 6:12 pm

    I dont think its completely true :D… hehe

  34. mirrorcracked permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:28 am

    Hmmm… you are one brave soul, my friend! I shall write a sexy eulogy for you! 🙂
    And since when did you start writing about love and singledom without my blessings and inputs?? 😀

  35. worldthrumyeyes permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:43 am

    Welcome to this side of the fence 🙂

  36. verbivorehere permalink
    January 22, 2009 1:30 pm

    hilarious..superb..excellent..read, re-read & showd it to all ma friends around!
    by the way..have u hired anyone to write ur obituary???

  37. Smitha permalink
    January 22, 2009 2:51 pm

    Vimmuuu – Have something for you in my blog- Pls do pick it up – http://smitha-randomthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/01/goodbyeawards-and-no-criminals-campaign.html

  38. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:01 pm

    @ Ajit :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

    LOL, thats a nice one.two sides of the coin, huh?

    @ Reema :

    I knowwww. I havnt changed my orkut status yet. Its just that the single tag is removed !

    @ Anonymous :

    LOL, thats a nice comparison.
    Btw,do I know you?

    @ Rakesh 2 :

    I am scared already ! I dont think the concerned has read this yet !!

    @ Soneeta :

    Blah…blah and a blah more !!! LOL

  39. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:07 pm

    @ Vishesh :

    LOL to you too 😀

    @ Bhargavi :

    Ohhh yes, Im. But I dont think the concerned has read this yet ! ya, I know I looked a hot devdas, na? LOL

    @ Oorjas :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

    She is one day, sigh !!! Hope she realises something out of this.LOL

    @ Apar :

    LOL @ the color ! Yeah, how could I forget those? 😀
    It was sad coming out of those communities !

    @ Solilo :

    Thanks. I didnt change it. I just hid my status. Now its male, chennai, india instead of male, single, chennai, india !! LOL

  40. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:31 pm

    @ Vinod :

    3 months is enough dude. Get into one and then you will know ! 😀

    @ Smita :

    ROFL. Sadist that you are !!!

    @ Veenachechi :

    Grrrrr….You my side or hers???? No tips please !!!

    But thanks for the generalised tips though !

    @ Smita 2 :

    LOL, Im puzzled too ! But I will definitely post one on my married life !
    Btw, wheres your husbands comment?Did you get him to read this?

    @ Oxy :

    Yeah !Yeah ! I knew what was coming and still…

    Psst..psst…queit my boyy !!

  41. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:51 pm

    @ Arvind :

    Ya.THANK god ! 😀 , But tera number bhi aayega beta !

    @ Archana :

    Now dont give someone ideas to hit me. I didnt mock anyone (trying to look innocent). Yeah, you will be among the first to know if I get back to my devadas state !

    @ Kanagu :

    Thanks man ! Well, Im innocent !….seriously ! Oh cmon, who am I kidding, rt?

    @ Imran :

    Exactly !! I couldnt put it in this way dude, you know why !! LOL.

    @ Mario :

    I knew very well what I was getting into. It just happened!
    and you mean positives in a relationship??? u kidding me ???? LOL !

  42. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 6:57 pm

    @ Praveen :

    Thats the curse of the century. LOL.

    @ Vivek :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comments.

    So, you knew it huh? advantages of being a colleague! LOL. But you better shhhhh before…..

    @ Rakesh :

    Im waiting to get my hands on the sage !!

    Oh, isnt that my write up for the community that I started – Frustrated Singles !! LOL. Thanks for cntrl+c , cntrl+v ing it here.

    Yeah, I checked your blog and commented too. Im glad to be a motivation for a person like you !

    @ Smita :

    Nope, Im still alive !! Oh crap, did I just say Im alive??? Im done for now !

    @ Poonam :

    Thanks blogmate ! My orkut status doesnt say anything new, I just hid my status. Now it doesnt read single anywhere, thats all. That itself took a lot of persuasion from one end.

    I would answer that if I knew !

  43. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 7:02 pm

    @ Alice :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

    Yoooohoooo..now that people are finding it hilarious, Im dead !

    @ Nimmy :

    Yeah, cupids arrow alright! But in the wrong place !!! LOL

    @ Soneeta :

    LOL. So, did you get a reply from him? Im sure he would agree with me !

    @ Chiranjib :

    Unfortunately, I did man ! Im done for !

    @ Anonymous :

    LOL. Are you the same anonymous person who commented in the first half ?? That was hilarious !!

  44. vimmuuu permalink
    January 22, 2009 7:09 pm

    @ Remya :

    So you agree atleast part of it is true, rt? LOL.

    @ Nikhil :

    LOL. Im still shivering man ! Im sure my soul is gonna rest..in pieces !

    Your blessings?…seriously???…Do you want me to have multiple jodhas ????

    @ Nova :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comments.
    Sadist ! LOL !!

    @ Verbivorehere :

    You are making my life miserable !! stop publicising this. someones gonna kill me ! and y dont you do the honors of my obituary ?? LOL

    @ Smita :

    Thats so sweet of you ! Thanks a lottttt !!! It means so much !

  45. soneeta permalink
    January 23, 2009 4:58 am

    he agrees to u n is even thinking of adding some more points to it…i will let u knw wht it is

  46. Vivek permalink
    January 23, 2009 5:05 pm

    heh heh heh is there a gay angle?
    😀

  47. vimmuuu permalink
    January 23, 2009 10:22 pm

    @ Soneeta :

    Every guy would lady ! every guy would !

    @ Vivek :

    Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comments.

    Oh nooo, no angles. puhleeeeezz !!! Im very much straight !

  48. Sakhi permalink
    January 28, 2009 6:41 am

    😀 😀 a good one!! and love the last line

    nominee for “the most courageous post”, Too good! 🙂

  49. Sangeetha Janachandran permalink
    January 28, 2009 1:10 pm

    Just to sum this up 🙂 very well said Vims.. decoding of this post under construction 🙂

    Soon to be online 🙂

    Stay blessed..
    Ahem!

  50. August 25, 2009 1:18 am

    ROFL!!! 😀 you know what? I know someone who is going through this stage right now and all the statements fit him to a T! 😀

    great post! 😀 and yeah did you jinx yourself? 😛

  51. craftyshines permalink
    August 27, 2009 2:19 am

    @ freedom lost: oh u bet!!!!!!!!

    exceptionally decent and friendly in public

    ROFL!!!!! So now that u are engaged this is the vimmuuu we will get to meet??? 😛

    do you remember what we did on Feb 31st, 1.04 pm
    Hahahah!!!! This is classic! Yes! What memory women have! 😀 😀
    Since I love u so much vimmuuu, take my advice… start maintaining a small book of dates n events… u can never compete with ur wife…and losing is not an option u will enjoy! 😛 and when u see positive results, u can send me my thank you gift immediately!!! 😀

    have to think twice to sport a beard ! (she might consider its sexy as long as its just a stuble but friends and relatives think you are ditched) This is applicable only to the male community unless…….
    :mrgreen: hahahah!!!! I LOVE incomplete sentences!!! :mrgreen:

    have to nod your head even if you disagree or do not understand a bit of what your counterpart is telling !

    OHO! So that’s what it is?? I thought bf has a compulsive disorder of agreeing with me!!! 😀 😀

    have to attend calls in your deepest of sleep too

    Sigh! Yes!!! Love is filled with sleepless nights! Whether its by choice or not! 😛

    would have to share your food, especially ice-creams
    GASP!!!! Never!!!!!!!!!!! To each his own ice cream!!!! 😀 I can’t share ice cream! I can’t even tolerate if my ice cream is stared at! 😛

    have to get ready lying to friends and families
    Oh yes, that bit!!! At the rate at which I am going…. I already have a deluxe penthouse booked in hell! :mrgreen:

    Hope the sage visits often!!! 😀 waiting for some more revelations at the cost of ur safety!!! 😆

  52. September 1, 2009 9:03 am

    That is sooooooooooooooooo true!! And guess what? Girls go through the same 🙂

  53. May 21, 2010 2:20 am

    haha .. hilarious .. !! .. 😀

Trackbacks

  1. I can’t understand women and I never will. « V-Lokam
  2. Every husband has a sad story to tell !!! « V-Lokam

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