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The Best Mallu Wins – Results

February 4, 2009

Its time for the much awaited (bah..!) results for the Best Mallu Wins contest. The winner receives one of the wallet that’s in the picture below :
There’s something for the others too for their participation. It’s a gift voucher from Baskin Robbins worth Rs.100. Thanks a lot guys.
And the winner is Rakesh, for his complete nonsensical translation. It is nowhere related to what I meant in the actual post. Rakesh as far as I know is a complete weirdo and is one of the few SRK fans still alive. He has been a regular commentor here right from the beginning and has just started blogging too. And I don’t know if I should feel happy or ashamed to tell this, but he says I am his inspiration. Now, that’s the second person to get inspired from V-lokam ! They would have thought, “if this guy can, then why not me , huh?”

Ok, guys, now all that I need is your postal address, and so request you to send it to at the earliest for shipment.

Below is the award winning post and the way it was translated. Non-mallus, you aint gonna enjoy this, I am sorry.

“this postman is cutting mutton[our poor goat] near the lake!!!”
Ee lekhanam oru lekku ketta mattaaa !!!

Randaayirathi ezhu kazhinju kondirikkumbol, enikku oru cheriya budhi thonni.
After 2007 while I was drinking kanji,i had a small brain
Randaayirathi ettilu ente ee kochu lokathilu ente maathrubaashayil oru lekhanam ezhudiyaalo ennu.
In 2008 one of my daughters in the world decided to write a love letter in my country language to the post man.
Adum aangaleya vaakkugal ottum upayogikaande !
My uncle walks with a goat without using an auto.
Kashtamaanennu enikku appazhey thonni, kaaranam njaan chindikkunnadum pravarthikkunnadum aangaleyathilaanu.
I felt like nature calling me[shitting], Coz if I feel I do it with my uncle
Uttavaurde koode maathramaanu ente maathrubaashayude prayogam.
I use my country language only near a closed nest or maybe in the closet!
Enikkaanengil swantham baashayil theerey ezhudaanum arinjooda.
if I am a man I can tell bad words to my close ones and also I will gave seven sacrifices to a judo master named arin
Ente orma sheriyaanengil, idinu munpe idu pole ezhudiyadu paththilu padikkumbozhaanennaa.
I had a short term memory loss before.. I wrote on a pole where a dog was in the loo near my door step singing a song “zhannoo.. shanoo..nanena”
Anganey ikkollam kazhiyaaraayi, enaalum pandaaradangan oru vishayavum kittiyilla ezhudaan.
I tried to kill hanuman in kollam after 6 am… then kungu panda alias dangan [younger brother of dingan] tried to find a kitty seven times.
Kashtam thane, alley? Pinnendinaa ee koppu aarambichennaavum palavarudeyum
Shit near the alley! Thn why is the cops questioning the Arabic and Chinese and the man frm pala simply
Endaa cheyya, njaan onnilu irangi thirichaal, adu poorthiyaakkaande vidoola.
Wht will I do? I went into 1 underground and lighted a Chaala[fish]..the poor goat saw the fire and now he wont leave it..
Pinne vichaarichoo idippo ezhudiyaalum aaraa vaayikkyaa?
Thn I thought I write abt idiyappam[beating cake]..i have to feed 6 mouths
Ente ee oru lokathilu, parichayam ullavaril malayaligal kammiya.
One malayalee kameena stole my locket
Baakiyullavaru idu vaaayikkaan thuninjaal ente thalakku nalla asugam undennu karudum,
His friends beat me up near a head feels so bad and I think I have a dust particle in my round eyes.
allengil ente ee lokathil edo maaragamaaya krimi pettu kidappundennu vichaarikkum.
It seems tht there was some dangerous virus reproducing inside my they r thinking abt kidnapping me..
Aaru endu vichaarichaalum pullaanennu karudaanum vayya.
Whtever the 6 ppl think abt me..i gave grass to the tired garuda bird.
Ivide ippo enikkaayittu oru nilayum vilayum undu, adu kalanju kudikaan njaan thayyarumalla.
I have a nice blue villa..and I wont allow my goat to drink and throw up in my house.
Njaan munbe soochipicha pole, endaa ezhudaa ennu aalochichu angudum ingudum nadannu.
I was in Mumbai, begging and selling needles near a pole, I used to write on the walls roaming here n there.
Oru ethum pidiyum kittunilla.
No one is touching me.
Nammude naatile ippozhathey sthithiye kurichu ezhudaa ennu paranjaal, adum malayalathilu, bayankara budhimuttaa.
We have an internet problem..our goat knows how to write in Malayalam..he wrote abt the he is in trouble
Kore ere vishakalanathinu sheshamaanu ee oru kali kalikkaam ennu vichaarichey.
After I lost many visas..i decided to take a bath after a long time.
Ivide ulla ellaa malayaligalkkum oru pani paninja maadiriyum aavum.
All the malyalis got infected by the virus.. now all r sick and mad
Idokke idey pole, valli pulli vidaandey, vaakugalude artham vethyaasam varuthaadey tharjama cheyya ennu paranjaa chillarakaaryaaa??
Thn this happened near a pole..a big spotted cheetah demaded us to know the meaning..we fried him added some tar and put him in a jar bottle and sold him for a few pennies.
Ee oru varsham inganey thanne avasaanikkanamennaavum avarude okke vidhi(orakkeychirikkunnu)!!!
Lets shout “eeeee” this year and sing near thane and this year might end if they r okay with idiot [ohh rakky laughing near the hill]

V-loka vikrithikal (in pic)
The poet is drunk[wheel] and is in critical condition! (veelo ‘ka vi’ krithikal)

18 Comments leave one →
  1. Rekha permalink
    February 5, 2009 2:19 am

    Ha Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    To Rakesh !!!! ..u really deserve it! 😉

    n Mallu contest..ha njan athu evideyo ketitundu :d

  2. oorjas permalink
    February 5, 2009 6:12 am

    i laughed my head off while reading this.

    i don’t understand malayalam but with my tamil knowledge when i tried to read it i couldn’t stop laughing…

    way to go Rakesh..

  3. Aaarti permalink
    February 5, 2009 6:24 am

    Congrats to Rakesh…

    vimmuuu- suthama onnum puriyala….!!!:(

  4. vishesh permalink
    February 5, 2009 9:35 am

    well i skipped the translation 😛 my the Unni in my name ain’t enough to inspire me 😛 congrats to the winners…pity if i knew about that gift hamper i might have given it a try 😛

  5. Rakesh Vanamali permalink
    February 5, 2009 10:23 am

    Awesome! Many Congratulations to Rakesh for a hilarious translation!

  6. Anonymous permalink
    February 5, 2009 10:41 am

    Congrats to Rakesh…By the way Vimal I am glad that I didn’t get the prize..none of those would have been of any use to me..hehhehehe..

  7. Veena Chech.. permalink
    February 5, 2009 10:42 am

    Opps..that was not anonymous it was me..Veena Chech..

  8. mirrorcracked permalink
    February 5, 2009 11:35 am

    You ditcher! I was supposed to win! 😦 😦
    After all that sweet talking that we shared, is this how you betray me! Huh? Bah!! 😀

  9. Reema permalink
    February 5, 2009 12:53 pm

    congrats to Rakesh.

    @Nikhil I m having serious doubts about ur sexuality 😛

  10. Solilo permalink
    February 5, 2009 6:16 pm

    Ha..ha..ha. Congratulations to the winner!

  11. praddy permalink
    February 5, 2009 7:16 pm

    err oh!

  12. ramya permalink
    February 5, 2009 11:51 pm

    Gosh ..i havent laughed this hard since my college days.I got myself in a bit of trouble with my manager for constantly giggling(thank you very much!).
    we had a very important client in our office today and when i was getting introduced to him i couldnt keep a straight face as i was still thinking about the translation…He gave my manager a quizzical look and she replied “she is a ..err..very happy you came to visit us” that instance i knew i would explode!
    Anyway,congrats and thanks Rakesh for all the LAUGH! and also to the person who came up with the Hero’s next film titles that was hilarious too….
    i just miss these kinda jokes here Down Under….

  13. nimis540 permalink
    February 7, 2009 6:10 am

    Hey hey,i just knew this..

    Congrats Rakesh 🙂

    The very first translation itself tells me that this is the deserving mutton near lake’…ROFL

    ahem,what si the first awar?Wallet?wil you fill money inside that..Thanks for the voucher,but is that for real??????????????

  14. Priyadarshini Vasudevan permalink
    February 7, 2009 3:23 pm

    vimmuuu some gift for me daaaaa..

  15. Rakesh permalink
    February 7, 2009 10:22 pm

    Thanx a lot for ur love n support ppl!GOD BLESS U ALL! 🙂

    I would like to dedicate this award to the my late goat who was brutally murdered during the making of this translation.
    He was indeed ,one great tasty living thing.I should have warned him before he began writing abt the cross n other religious stuff!
    Too bad he is gone now…this award is for u goatie!! sob sob 😦

    and dude..phewwww..thnk god…i was really scared tht the 1st prize would be the CD of ur chaiyya chaiiya song!!hehe..
    Anway,i hope i will be getting tht purse in the middle ,which has ur money n UR credit card in it!
    And will i be getting the ice creams too??…
    well u see.i am one of those weird ppl who doesnt use a wallet.
    i wish to walk freely without the burden of extra weight..
    i dont like carrying wallets coz it affects my aerodynamics.
    So i will just keep ur money and credit card. 🙂 hehe..
    once again THANKUUU V-LOKAM & Vimal bhai!!

  16. vimmuuu permalink
    February 8, 2009 2:12 am

    @ Rekha :

    Ya, the last time you scrapped me in orkut,you were mentioning about your version. Whatever happened. and yes, welcome back !!!

    @ Oorjas :

    LOL. and thanks for reading it inspite of the language barrier.

    @ Aaarti :

    Enakkum. thats the beauty of his translation. we wont understand a thing !

    @ Vishesh :

    You said you would !

    @ Rakesh 2 :


    @ Veenachechi :

    The prizes were decided after arriving at the winner. So there was still a chance.

    @ Nikhil :

    Gosh! you are making it obvious man. See now, reema has started doubting you. LOL

    @ Reema :

    :D. Dont worry, Nikhils gay!

  17. Veena Chech permalink
    February 9, 2009 10:37 am uer first article properly in that u have said u have already finalised the prize :)..Anyways..Rakesh does deserve it :)..

  18. vimmuuu permalink
    February 9, 2009 12:06 pm

    @ veenachechi :

    Of course, the gifts were finalised on 30th and thats when the winner was also decided. My first article mentions only about a gift. Tan da dan !

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