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Final Part – The Stars Scream Award (Winners)

February 24, 2009

………..Continued from Part 1

Aamir Khan, who craves for only attention these days, deliberately came in during the middle of the show. When enquired about his presence at an award function, he said he no longer believed in the Oscars since his TZP was left out and also mentioned that he’d come as a blogger and not as anyone from the film industry ! He made himself comfortable in the first row where the bloggers sat. Aaaaarti, who had stepped out for a while, returned and requested him to move from her seat(seat no.10). The insulted Khan refused to move and both the A’s argued until Archana(AV), intervened and confused them by relating their argument with theories of Physics.

Speaking of A’s, Apars son ‘A’ was approached by Amol Gupte for his remake of TZP, this time according to his whims and fancies. The confirmation is yet to come from the mother though.

Another surprise that came up during the show was when SRK was asked to present the award for the Worst Actor to current arch rival Salman. Both the Khans weren’t looking at each other, yet a plastic smile was seen on both the faces. The whole auditoriums attention turned to Smita who was weeping as soon as Salmans name was declared. She couldn’t bear the sight of Salman receiving the worst actor trophy and left the auditorium immediately. Salman with his usual wits declared during his acceptance speech that it was SRK who deserved the award for his awful performance in RNBDJ and requested SRK to share the award along with him. The shameless person that SRK is, agreed, and remarked that since he wouldn’t be receiving any of the awards this year, he would only be obliged to share this award with Salman. Meanwhile, Varun, in the absence of Salman, was trying to woo Katrina by singing his version of ‘zara zara touch me, touch me’. Both Salman and Varun were missing in the auditorium after sometime. Rakesh, a new blogger and winner of the Best Mallu Wins post in V-lokam, felt so disgusted when his favorite star SRK, agreed to share the award with Salman. He started booing at the producers of the awards and also stated its stage management to increase the TV ratings. Rakesh was later thrown out of the auditorium when he went to the extent to throwing rotten eggs at the producers.

Yash Raj Films won the award for The Worst Production House and Rani Mukherjee was called on stage to give away the trophy to Aditya Chopra. But before even Adi could finish his acceptance speech, a group of men wearing pink chaddis barged into the auditorium asking the event managers to stop the show. Such award ceremonies, according to them, are not a part of the Indian culture and even if celebrities are to be felicitated, it should be done with shawls and gold coins instead of trophies and cups. The securities tried their best to evacuate the hooligans but they just went haywire inside the auditorium trying to attack the celebrities and bloggers. However, this time, the pink chaddi gundaas were at the receiving end. The celebrities as usual hid themselves and chose to stay away from all the trouble. But the bloggers had no second thoughts on keeping calm and released all their suppressed frustrations on the Sene waalas. All the exit doors were locked and the moral policing gundaas were attacked till they cried for mercy. The police force intervened and brought the situation under control in sometime. The award ceremony thus ended on a sad note for the producers as they incurred heavy losses.

Later that evening, the entire film industry and bloggers had discussions together and took a vow to expel such anti-social criminals from our country for good !

Ho, Whaaaat a night !!!

Bloggers who couldn’t turn up :

Vishesh – His mom didn’t let him go!
Solilo – She was held up at the immigration in the airport because she couldn’t produce a proof for her Spanish name.
Nikhil – Said he doesn’t like Bollywood !
Rekha – Below 18 years were not allowed.
Bhargavi – Above 70 years were not allowed !
Kanagu – He planned with his friends to come who later on ditched him.
Nimmy – She burnt her cake and was at home preparing another one.
Rakesh Vanamali – He was not allowed to take his camera and he didn’t want to enter without it.

Praveen – Iron Maiden had a concert on the same day and he didn’t want to miss it.
Aparna – Said her sun signs and moon signs collided with her comet signs and wasn’t supposed to travel.
Amit – Got lost in Manchester while taking snaps. Wasn’t reachable.
Sakhi – She had a cocktail of sambar and coke the previous night that upset her stomach.
Arvind – New job, no leave !
Chiranjib – He kept arguing with a cab guy just outside the auditorium since he was particular about every penny.
Ajit – Couldn’t find a matching lungi for his blazer !
Priya – Was too busy making comebacks !
Rads – Her smart kids locked her at home.
NovaShe declined the invitation saying she would go only for Filmfare awards since Filmfare is her favourite magazine.
Remya – Misplaced her jewellery and thus missed her flight.
Alice – Didn’t know the route from Wonderland to Bangalore.
Ambili – Arrived after everyone packed up!

The Star Scream Awards – Results

WORST FILM – Drona WORST DIRECTOR – Subhash Ghai (Yuvvraaj) WORST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE (MALE) – Salman Khan (God Tussi Great Ho, Yuvvraaj)

WORST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE (FEMALE) – Amisha Patel (Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic)
WORST DEBUT – Harman Baweja (Love Story 2050)
WORST CAMEO – Jaya Bachchan (Drona)
WORST SCREENPLAY – Vijay Kumar Acharya (Tashan)

For those who came in late, please find the nominations here.

(Thanks a lot, everyone, for being sportive (anticipatory bail, you see!). I am sure the non bloggers would have felt a little bad (or relieved); dont worry, the next time I will have a dig at you people too)
43 Comments leave one →
  1. Aaarti permalink
    February 25, 2009 10:36 am

    Awesome post… well, you are spared this time vimmuuu, all bcos u had Aamir in your post… whatte way to open the awards night… danku danku..!!!:D

  2. WhatsInAName permalink
    February 25, 2009 10:44 am

    ha ha ha
    came here after a long time and i must say this was total fulltoo entertainer! I mean even the Oscar was not THIS good lol
    BTW do tell us the inside news as to what happens after Salman and Vimal go missing ROFL
    ps: Came to ask you how you celebrated when your God was Oscarised 😉 Its a proud moment for sure!

  3. sakhi permalink
    February 25, 2009 11:10 am

    😀 😀 LOL. That was quite a ceremony which i missed!! but due to sambhar and coke.. yuk, yuk! Don’t even remind me of that! 🙂 🙂

    BTW you have forgotten to link smita’s name to her blog.

  4. vishesh permalink
    February 25, 2009 11:21 am

    I am disappointed,all you could say was I couldn’t turn up…*sigh 😛

  5. Indyeah permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:03 pm

    ”Such award ceremonies, according to them, are not a part of the Indian culture and even if celebrities are to be felicitated, it should be done with shawls and gold coins instead of trophies and cups.”Lol!!

    ”But the bloggers had no second thoughts on keeping calm and released all their suppressed frustrations on the Sene waalas. All the exit doors were locked and the moral policing gundaas were attacked till they cried for mercy.
    ”I wish!:D

    ”Solilo – She was held up at the immigration in the airport because she couldn’t produce a proof for her Spanish name.”:D heh!heh!

    this is quite a ceremony!really good humour Vimmuu!:)

  6. Vee permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:17 pm

    Awesome….. Unlike the real awards, ur virtual awards went to the most deserving ones….I wish I could give many more awards to Jaya, Kay Kay and the movie Drona… they all were classic people…. Me love them… Drona is my all time fav movie..hehe

  7. soneeta permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:53 pm

    cool n funny…nt being a blogger couldnt take part in it.may be i can go 2 some other award function..
    BTW..whtz d relation of the theory physics wth A’s and AV’s

  8. myheadtrip permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:54 pm

    Shush Vimmuuu…how can you leak such news; especially when negotiations are still going on?! Sheesh!! I knew I must not have told you anything!!! Cha cha!!! 😀

    Good list about those who did not turn up!! Nikhil not only does not like Bollywood, but after having done all the PR, forgot to book tickets did he not? 😉
    Comet signs? Apu care to clarify?!

  9. Smita permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:57 pm

    I don’t agree with the Worst Actor in a leading role.

    I don’t
    I don’t
    I don’t

    I order you to change that NOW!!! Aby is deserves it more 😀

    But I wouldn’t be foolish enuff to cry and run away when I have the golden opportunity to see him live 😉

  10. Smita permalink
    February 25, 2009 12:59 pm

    Psstt I know what happens when Sallu and Varun go missing.

    Sallu finds me outside and forgets everything else 😀

  11. oorjas permalink
    February 25, 2009 1:02 pm

    too good.. ROFL..

    Men in pink (chaddis) being the highlight.. i didn’t see them when i saw this on tv maybe that part was cencered considering the young audience..
    those sights might have caused disturbed sleep for many nights..

  12. Reema permalink
    February 25, 2009 3:25 pm

    Awww i want a third part…its fun to read!!

  13. Varun permalink
    February 25, 2009 4:12 pm

    Too good! Awards are bang on target!

    Sallu finds Smita and I run away with Katrina 😉

    Smita, Thanks sooooo much 🙂 How can I ever repay you!

  14. Smita permalink
    February 25, 2009 4:55 pm

    @ varun by keeping Kats out of sight & out of mind of sallu 😀

  15. Praveen permalink
    February 25, 2009 5:47 pm

    hahhaa..gr8 post :p
    nice jabs at everyone..
    btw, u cud’ve scheduled the ceremony for a different date so that I cud’ve attended

  16. Poonam Sharma permalink
    February 25, 2009 5:51 pm

    Great! Too bad I am only interviewing people…that’s like being star struck..

    I liked the positive end though..

    Ha Ha Smita’s the best one 🙂

  17. Ashwathy permalink
    February 25, 2009 6:31 pm

    ROFL!! hehehe
    been awhile since i read anything this funny AND creative!
    taking a dig at fellow bloggers while giving expression to one’s own version of film awards nite. nice work!
    the pink chaddis part was howlarious. so was the last bit about writing a comment on each of the bloggers who werent mentioned in the main narrative.
    P.S.: i’m going to go into hiding with my blog while i can… 😀

  18. Ordinary Guy permalink
    February 25, 2009 6:35 pm

    LOL hahahahahaha 🙂
    Ajit Couldn’t find a matching lungi for his blazer…

    good one mate…. 🙂 make more fun of me… 🙂 LOL

    and the award were all good… 🙂

  19. Solilo permalink
    February 25, 2009 8:01 pm

    Ha..ha..Vimmu! Wait till Smita sees Sallu getting worst actor.


    “Solilo – She was held up at the immigration in the airport because she couldn’t produce a proof for her Spanish name.”

    Oh dear! people do think that I am some Spanish mafia. :)):))

  20. nimis540 permalink
    February 25, 2009 8:22 pm

    ROFL,,this is too good…

    How sad of mt to miss the ceremony,that too bcoz of a burnt cake..Grrrrrrr,i am gonna throw my stone-soft burnt cake at you 😉

    Honestly,both parts were really really good 🙂

  21. Rakesh permalink
    February 25, 2009 10:14 pm


    tht was NOt cool man!!
    u invite me to ur show n u kick me out!!! Not cool!!

    those security guard gundas even ruined my goat skin- armani suit man which i had specially worn for the occasion!!
    NOt coool!!!

    well guess wht i have joined forces with the sena walas and maneka gandhi and will continue to boycott all of ur anti-SRK functions!

    i hereby announce tht i will be presenting my own “Goatie” awards soon!!!

    right in front of ur V-lokam headqaurters!

    u havent seen the last of me! buhahahaha!

  22. verbivorehere permalink
    February 26, 2009 4:05 am

    LOL ths one really cracked me…Bhargavi sorry – but ’70 yrs old not allowed sent me ROFL’ i guess i shud stop wondering y they call u ‘paatti’ ;P…

  23. varun permalink
    February 26, 2009 6:32 am

    nice stuff!!Shawls and Scarves

  24. Ordinary Guy permalink
    February 26, 2009 7:19 am

    Aliya, you are tagged

  25. Bedazzled permalink
    February 26, 2009 10:18 am

    Drawwwmaaaa…seriously ,u cud have spared the age-dig for once;-) .. now, since u mentioned me , i am gonna use my top5 tag torture techniques on u !! ..

    Verbi tu , brutus ?? :-)..

  26. Praddy permalink
    February 27, 2009 3:44 am

    lol..what about the party at the end of the awards nite? when paati gate-crashed 😉 ?? :P:P
    sorry paati cudnt resist 😀

  27. Ams permalink
    February 27, 2009 11:58 am

    Oooops!!!I guess I really am here after everyone left, just like how Farah Khan came at the end of that OSO song…Lol!!!
    Well,hope to be there next year if this ever happens again !!! Ha Ha Ha!!!
    Kudos Vimsss!

  28. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 7:43 pm

    @ Aaarti :

    LOL. But are you sure you dont have a problem with Aamir?

    @ WIAN :

    Yeah, long time. I was following your blog and then suddenly you stopped writing. Havnt visited after that though.

    Oh, I was at the hospital when the news was declared. I cudnt react the way I wanted to, smsed everyone in my phonebook. Its indeed one of the best moments of my life.

    @ Sakhi :

    LOL, I thought you liked that combination. Next time, come starved!

    @ Vishesh :

    When have you ever come for get togethers, my buddy boy ? LOL

  29. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 7:47 pm

    @ Indyeah :

    Thanks.Glad you liked it.

    @ Vee:

    Drono it is !!! Im awaiting its sequel :D. the superhero with the dupatta riding a horse in the desert. Whaat a movie !!!

    @ Soneeta :

    LOL. Next time, sure, ok??

    Archana is a blogger who writes on physics. She even compares a songs lyrics to physics !!

    @ Apar :

    I am extremely sorry. Btw, what have you decided? 😀

    Nikhil forgot to get the tickets for the show! I shouldve put that ! LOL.

    Aparna is in hibernation again. I dont think she will read this now.

  30. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 7:52 pm

    @ Smita :

    LOL. you have to face it Smita. sometimes,tTruth is stranger than Salmans relationships !! and now you and Varun has created a parallel story too. LOL.

    @ Oorjas:

    Yeah, we asked them not to air. Its not family viewing, na!

    But I seriously wonder what they would be doing with all those chaddis!

    @ Reema :

    Awww..Thats one of the best compliment. Thanks.

    @ Varun :

    Arey, I thought Salman finished your chapter !! You are still alive and that too making parallel stories with Smita ??? Btw, more than Sallu, you would have to face competition from Akki for Kat!!!

  31. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 7:57 pm

    @ Praveen :

    LOL. I didnt know Iron Maiden played on the same day. Next year, sure !!

    @ Poonam :

    Geee, thanks. Yours isnt about being star struck. You have another blog, right? where you interview bloggers. Thats what I meant. I guess, the message didnt come out clear ! LOL.

    @ Ashwathy :

    Thanks. Now that I have your blog add, you wouldnt be spared. Get ready to do the tags !!! LOL.

    @ Ajit :

    LOL, I remember you mentioning that your favorite piece of cloth is your lungi. Just made a dig at that. Enne thallalle maashey !!

  32. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 8:06 pm

    @ Solilo :

    See, so I wasnt wrong with my imagination !!! Btw, Im sure you would be having a proper mallu name! Ulpalaakshi or visaalaakshi???

    @ Nimmy :

    Thanks. I like cakes, so the more you throw, the more Im going to encourage you to throw. LOL. and yes, even if it is burnt!

    @ Rakesh :

    You asked for it. Btw, where did you get those eggs? The event managers are still wondering on that !

    It wasnt an anti SRK function. He was shameless enough in sharing the award. Why are you blaming us ?? LOL.

    Your presenting your version of whaaaat ????

    @ Verbivorehere :

    You never knew the reason all these while??? Thats a looong story, a funny one that happened on our first bloggers meet !

  33. vimmuuu permalink
    February 27, 2009 8:10 pm

    @ Bhargavi :

    LOL. Cmon, bhar, admit your age!

    and that torture thingy, do not try that on me!ever !puhleeeez!!!

    Verbivorehere cheated you, so you should probably try it on her. what say ?? and now praddy too. check his comment below yours.

    @ Praddy :

    LOL. and she didnt read it yet. You are dead buddy !

    @ Ambili :

    Why do you think I mentioned that? You came in late by commenting, always! LOL. Hope to see you regularly here.

  34. Ashwathy permalink
    February 28, 2009 7:14 am


    uh oh…

    ok now i’ve to search for a software program to erase that URL from ur blog 😛

    athu tannapozhe thonniyatha aa paattu kettu ennu: “avanavan kurukkunna kurukku azhichedukkumbol KULUMAL!!” 😀

  35. kanaguonline permalink
    February 28, 2009 12:28 pm

    What an evening I am having.. laughing all the way in this train travel… great one mate.. the Ram Sene is the best thing and what you have mentioned about me is right 🙂 today I am on the way to some of them who ditched me no that day and as I said already you are great in remembering the things 🙂 I like you to conduct a award ceremony for kollywood, so that at any cost I will be there 🙂

  36. Chiranjib Mazumdar permalink
    March 1, 2009 6:17 pm

    ha ha ha ha 😀
    Height of imagination, should I say?
    Btw, the reason for me not turning up was well put and imagined! Means, you read my posts! Thanks! 😀

  37. vimmuuu permalink
    March 1, 2009 8:55 pm

    @ Ashwathy :

    LOL. njaanum kettooo !!! Buhahahhahahah!!!

    @ Kanagu :

    yeah, thats the best part of blogging. We all know each other pretty well now. I hope you have a good time with your ‘ditched’ friends ! An award for Kollywood…hmmm..I have something else in mind for Kollywood, which I will be coming out soon with.

    @ Chiranjib :

    How can I forget that bhaai?? I even commented on that too!!! LOL.

  38. March 2, 2009 4:25 am

    Ho! Really! Wat a night!!! n y d hell am i a physics geek?!? 😛
    but well, glad to hav been a part of the The Stars Scream Award Function!! 🙂 n yeah..thnx for inviting me! 😀

  39. allirekha permalink
    March 2, 2009 6:57 am

    hey..whatz going over here :d

    btw u dint say below 18 werent allowed..else i wud have checked in 😉

  40. Rashmi permalink
    March 3, 2009 8:15 am

    hey this is really hilarious…i completely burst into laugh..even orignal awards now seems to quite boring in front of your creativity :-)…U rock man 🙂

  41. amit permalink
    March 6, 2009 7:34 pm

    I have missed so many good posts in the last 10 days! LOL
    Thanks for bringing this to my notice!! This was more fun than all movie awards combined!!

  42. creativecraft permalink
    March 7, 2009 4:52 am

    Hello there! Stumbled upon here from Amit’s site. This was so hilarious!! I was looking at the nominations and I liked ‘worst debut’ 😀 Thanks for making my time! :D….Manoj

  43. Swaram permalink
    September 13, 2009 3:14 pm

    Gosh! I hv missed some gr8 posts from u! Wonder hw I never found ur blog b4 🙄

    No lungi matching his blazer ha ha ha 😆

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