“Hello, I am your big fan!”
It started with a phone call; a call from the US of A to my mobile at 9.30 Indian time. I was at office and was busy in a review, so couldn’t pick up the call. Later I found a mail from the caller stating that he tried reaching me and I didn’t pick, etc. His number flashed on my mobile and all I had to do was to return his call. But……..Buhahahahahaha 👿
(( The following conversations were in Malayalam with a fake voice and a south Kerala accent. Please note that my office number doesn’t get displayed when I make a call; else, this wouldn’t have worked so well.
The first name of the ‘He’ is mentioned here as XYZ and the last name as ABCDE. And since this is a family blog, the abusive word used through out the conversations by ‘He’ is Beeeep-ed ))
Me: Hello !
He : Hello
Me : Is this XYZ ?
He : Yes, this is XYZ here.
Me : Is this XYZ ABCDE ?
He : Yes, it is. Who is this ?
Me : is this really XYZ ABCDE ?
He : Yesssss…Who is thissss?
(and this continued for nearly 3 mins)
Me : Im a big fan of yours.
He : Huh ?
Me : Your blogs, your dancing. Im a huuugee fan of yours.
He : Who is this?
Me : So, what else is new?
He : Who is this? Can you tell me?
Me : I am a big fan, XYZ.
He : Who is thissss??
Morning (US time)
Called him, but reached his answering machine. Left a voice message with the same fake voice and accent.
“This is your fan, I will call you after sometime”
Afternoon (US time)
Me : Hello.
He : Hello
Me : Is this XYZ ABCDE?
He : Yes. Who is this?
Me : This is me, your fan. How are you?
He : Who the ((beeep)) are you ?
Me : I told you na, I am your big fan. So what are you doing?
He : I am just walking back to office after lunch. Who is this?
Me : Oh, there is only eating happening these days, huh?
He : So many other things happen. Who is this?
Me : Guess !! I told you na, Im your big fan.
He : Who is this ?? ((beeeep))
Me : Ok, keep guessing and I will call you back.
He : Atleast tell your name and keep the phone, na?
Me : Bye.
He : Atleast tell your name and keep the phone.
After a week
Me : Hello, XYZ, this is me, your big fan !
He : Hello.
Me : So, how are you ?
He : Please tell me who you are !
Me : Try guessing.
He : Is this (tells some name)
Me : Nope. Who is that ? (laughs)
He : Ohh ((Beeeeep)), you are ….. (tells another name)
Me : No. I don’t think you can guess. You have forgotten me completely.
He : ((Beeep))…who are you ? I don’t know. Who are you ?
Me : Well, its sad that you cant guess who I am. I am disappointed. I am keeping the phone.
He : No, no. Please, atleast tell me who you are then keep. Please. Pleee…..
After 5 days
Me : Hello, XYZ ABCDE?
He : Yes, who is this.
Me : This is your fan, XYZ !
He : Who is this?
Me : I have been telling you, I am your big fan and you still cant guess me ?
He : Is it …(tells a new name)
Me : No.
He : Its …. (tells the same name again). Yes, you are ….
Me : No. I am not. What is this …… (uses his blog pseudo name, surprisingly he still couldn’t recognize), you cant understand my voice or what? This is so bad !
He : ((beeep)), I don’t know.
Me : Cant you try ?
He : Heyy you ((beeep)), if you are going to tell me your name, we will speak further, otherwise I am not interested.
Me : Ok, shall I give you a clue ?
He : Yeah, a clue would help.
Me : No, you don’t have to recognize me that way.
He : No, give me a clue please.
Me : Its ok. I cant give clues.
He : Then I don’t need to talk to you. You cant tell your name, then I cant talk to you.
Me : Arrogance, huh ???
He : yeah, tell me your name and then we will speak.
Me : Ok then. Bye.
He : Bye.
—Cuts call normally–
This happened three days back and after that I didn’t have the guts to listen to any more Beeeeps !! 😀 😀 😀 To think of it, I deserved more of those Beeeps for the prank I played on him, that too for two weeks !!
My dear friend, I am really sorry if all these episodes were disappointing for you. I didnt mean to offend you in any way. All I wanted was a blog post 😀 😀 😀 and I am equally sad that our first conversation went in this manner. I am also sad for the fact that you had to know the identity of that idiotic caller along with the rest of them here 👿
The ‘He’ mentioned in this post is known to all of us here. He is an Ordinary Guy who stays in Sunnyvale now; who cooks well; someone who would take a lungi even on his space mission to moon; who cooks well; who is in love with Rajamma; who has all the weird friends on universe and is also an excellent blogger. Ohh did I mention that he cooks well ??? 😉
Ok, now, who wants to get the next call from me? 😀 😀 😀