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Every husband has a sad story to tell !!!

March 25, 2010

Disclaimer : Remember a sage who comes often in my dreams and who makes me write anti-relationship stuffs like this and this? Well, he came back once again and asked to publish this over here. I really have nothing to do with it. You know what, from today, I am not going to sleep; that sage might visit me again in my dreams. (Btw, after reading this post, I don’t think β€˜the missus’ would even let me blink my eyes from now on πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€Β  )

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Friend 1 : You seem to be losing weight after wedding

Friend 2 : Yeah, im having food at home these days.

Friend 1 : Oh, she makes healthy food, is it ?

Friend 2 : yeah, so healthy that I am having dysentery thrice a week.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Husband : Will you ever leave me ?

Wife : Oh honey, never !!

Husband : Seriously??? never ?? Shit !!!!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Friend 1 : Buddy, sorry couldnt come for your wedding ! Got held up.

Friend 2 : Oh, thats ok. Theres always a next time !

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Wife (after resolving an issue for her husband) : What would you do without me ! Tch Tch !

Husband : Me ? Hmm…Have a party, burst crackers, or probably, bring home a stripper! Tch Tch to you too !!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Wife : Heyy, we are out of vegetables and groceries. When do we go?

Husband : You mean, you are out of your weapons to kill me ???

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Husband : You look so beautiful. Is this your other way of killing me?

Wife :Β Awwww. Thanks sweetheart. But what is the β€˜other’ way?

Husband : Cooking !

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Colleague 1 : what are u doing ?

Colleague 2 : Updating all my matrimonial profiles.

Colleague 1 : But why? you just got married, right ?

Colleague 2 : Don’t you update your experience in your Linked In profile regularly. Thats exactly whatΒ I am doing.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Colleague 1 : You are always on the phone ever since you got married. Give some rest to your wife, will you ?

Colleague 2 : Arey, I speak to only her when I am at home. and when I am not at home, I speak with my other girl friends which ideally isnt possible when she is around. Infact, I AM giving her rest ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Friend 1 : So, hows your wife? Hows she finding the new place?

Friend 2 : Hmm…WE are adjusting.

Friend 1 : We??? how are YOU adjusting ?

Friend 2Β  : I am sharing my apartment, na ?

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Don’t worry guys, I shall update the sequels to this post as and when something similar comes up in my small brain !

Girls, don’t blame me, you are responsible for posts like these from us !!

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208 Comments leave one →
  1. March 25, 2010 4:37 am

    That was hilarious πŸ˜€
    But trust me, as and whenever your missus will get an opportunity to have a read of this, you are going to get a good beating with her rolling pin and for sure she won’t let you or your silly sage exist at peace for a long time πŸ˜‰

    Have fun and enjoy every moment of your new life πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Cheers!!!

    • March 25, 2010 8:14 am

      haha!!
      Rolling pin!

      I just imagined Vimmuuu being chased all over the house by his missus with a rolling pin in her hand!!!! :mrgreen:

      πŸ˜†

      😈

      • Swaram permalink
        March 25, 2010 10:52 am

        LOL .. that looks hilarious buhahahaha πŸ‘Ώ

    • March 25, 2010 11:10 pm

      CB…you too ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      and for the same reason, I still havnt got her a rolling pin !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Silly sage indeed ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Hope you read the other installments for calling him that ! πŸ˜€

      @ Pixie : You are imagining a lot about me these days ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      @ Swarr : Me running ? or she running behind ??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • Vivek AKA V2 permalink
        March 26, 2010 6:20 pm

        I cant imagine u runnin vimmu

      • March 28, 2010 9:16 pm

        πŸ™„

        Vimmuuu, I have better things to do in life!!!!!!!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      • Swaram permalink
        April 9, 2010 3:29 pm

        lol …

      • Swaram permalink
        April 9, 2010 3:29 pm

        The entire scene Vimmuuu … hw is it complete without both huh?

  2. March 25, 2010 6:30 am

    Aha!! I am reading between lines (as suggested by somebody)

    Now we should expect posts where, indirectly or directly – we are going to hear about her cooking, her ‘killer’ beauty, her conversations, how you solve issues together πŸ™‚

    I think this is a very sweet post Vimmuuu. Please keep them coming. My favorite is Tch tch. It would be great to read your ‘I don’t miss her’ posts when she goes out for half an hour πŸ˜†

    (Chatterbox here’s an idea for your romantic stories πŸ™‚ )

    • March 25, 2010 8:41 am

      Indeed IHM πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:14 pm

      IHM …seriously???…this…a sweet post ???? I almost got killed !!!! and I dont think I would survive for another ‘keep them coming’ ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      and you are giving the die hard romantic an idea for stories ?? I thought you would write atleast three posts on this post of mine defending the missus !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      You are highly unpredictable IHM !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  3. March 25, 2010 7:20 am

    ROFL, marriage must be scary or is it special case with you πŸ˜‰

    • March 25, 2010 11:17 pm

      Oh buddy, its really scary !!! Dont believe these girls !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  4. March 25, 2010 8:01 am

    Ada Paavi payan! You deserve the rolling pin as Chatterbox has mentioned! We wud like to hear wht the sage tells Laxmi now onwards!!! Pls hand over the blog to her!

    • Swaram permalink
      March 25, 2010 11:03 am

      He deserves much more than that Indy! The broken legs of stools n chairs etc.. etc.. πŸ˜›

    • March 25, 2010 11:18 pm

      LOL !!! never !! that sage would come only in my dreams ! Even if I hand over the blog to her, theres no use !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      @ Swarr : so happy you are !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  5. March 25, 2010 8:13 am

    Nautanki!! πŸ™„

    We now know for sure how much you love being married!

    All these antics ain’t gonna work!!

    • Swaram permalink
      March 25, 2010 11:04 am

      Exactly Pix! Behind the scenes, he can prob be found telling L: What wud I do without u; u r the bestest chef I hv met n so on πŸ˜›

    • March 25, 2010 11:19 pm

      Nahhhheeeeeeee !!!!

      All these years, I mean, months, you guys still havnt understood me a bit ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • Swaram permalink
        April 9, 2010 3:31 pm

        Pls pls make a trip to Hyd both of u! I so wanna c this madeforeachother couple πŸ˜›

  6. March 25, 2010 8:23 am

    Loooooooooool! Roooooooooooofllllllll! Lmaoooooooooooooo!

    Even without having gotten married, I can completely empathize with you my friend……..such is life πŸ˜‰

    Just make sure she does not read these posts, else you are roast meat, sprinkled with liberal doses of pepper!

    Lol! πŸ™‚

    • March 25, 2010 8:24 am

      U still ain’t come to terms that you are married are you? πŸ™‚

    • Swaram permalink
      March 25, 2010 11:07 am

      Boo! Men just luv saying such things! That they knew these abt marriage etc.., but still end up getting ‘happily married”

    • March 25, 2010 11:23 pm

      Were you crying or were you laughing or were you doing it together ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      its easy to say ..such is life…but I am glad that you are gonna come to this state pretty soon. Buhahahahahaha !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      and I made her read it. Had to tie her hands and legs !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Vimal is married, not me ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      @ Swarr : remember what Su said? women are happily married, men are just married ! πŸ˜€

      • April 9, 2010 3:33 pm

        Na I ws the one who told him that joke and he used it :grrrr

        ‘Happily married’ means husband happy and wife married :P’

  7. March 25, 2010 8:41 am

    hahahah πŸ˜€ dude!!! Laxmi reads all this!!! U’re likely to get urself killed !!! rofl !!!

    • March 25, 2010 11:24 pm

      avalu vaayichu…vaayichu !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ had to tie her hands and legs !! πŸ˜€

  8. March 25, 2010 9:51 am

    OhmyGod ..and every husband tells the tales through his blog huh? I can tell why. If you utter even one of these jokes boldly in the presence of Mrs. V (and mean them too), I’m sure the tale will then be quite different!!! Heeee πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:32 pm

      only if all the husbands had a blog to vent out their frustrations ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      I am all ssshhhhh in the presence of Mrs. V ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 25, 2010 11:43 pm

        ayyada!!! aa Mrs V ennu parayumbo avante mukhathe sandosham nokkikke!! πŸ˜› πŸ™„

  9. March 25, 2010 10:05 am

    tch tch tch you are so going to get into trouble for this πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›
    drama king only!

  10. March 25, 2010 10:38 am

    You are indeed calling for trouble !!!! I am telling you !!! While all the men might go ROFL or LMAO for this post, just listen to all the women here – this is asking for trouble !!!

    Anyway, on a serious note – I think that you are toooo much in love !!! You find your wife so beautiful to kill !!!! She cooks damn well !!! And both of you are getting on well – actually so well !!!

    And she knows all your monkey ways – so just shut up !!! I dont think she’ll ever give a damn to this post !!! Its your way of telling things – the anti way – right ????

    I am planning a visit sooon !!!! Must check it out myself !!!!

    • March 25, 2010 11:43 pm

      A small request– can you please S to read this post ? I need to know his reactions ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      LOL !!! I love the way people have imagined my life with the wife !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ These are what all husbands feel, Iam telling ya ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      you are visiting sooon ???? Oh no !!! you dont even have to ask where my house is; just show the snaps of my building to any chennaiite and they will guide you !

      • March 26, 2010 10:35 am

        Hello !!! What reactions from S ????? He’ll surely say – Enough of drama !!! OK !!!!

        OK !!! Will make the visit soon !!! πŸ™‚

  11. Swaram permalink
    March 25, 2010 11:08 am

    I am booking my tickets on another tab to come to that colourful building in Chennai VImmuuu .. and then I will do the sequel to this post πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 2:37 pm

      Oooh swaram welcome welcome… :)))) awesome!

    • March 25, 2010 11:44 pm

      LOL !!!! As if …..

      seriously???? are you seriously coming down ???? Oh crap !!! Let me leave then ! πŸ˜€

  12. March 25, 2010 11:20 am

    Are we supposed to laugh on this?
    or
    Are We supposed to sympathise with you?
    Nah!
    I know we are supposed to sympathise with Laxmi!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

    Vim : Nope, I am not expecting you to. This post wasnt meant for retards like you ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Accha tell me are these supposed to be jokes??? If yes then where have you said “these are jokes and u r supposed to laugh on them??” And No please don’t say I don’t have brain to understand your jokes because in your last post it self you have appluaded me for my brains (and one kiddo in a year is enough to tell me that I my brains are affected ;-))

    Vim : You are assuming everything. Did I ever mention that all those are jokes? Those are facts buddy ! Those are what all husbands feel !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Anyway!!! A POST like this deserves a befitting reply and that you will get!!! Bole to post ka badla post!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Vim : You and IHM joining hands ?? ?:D πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    It is time Men start being thankful for the presence of women in their life!! Or ahhh! that’s the problem, you want WOMEN but are stuck with WOMAN πŸ˜€ :p :p

    Vim : you mean, I want more problems in life ??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ ohh, one is more than enough ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:24 am

      LOL, Smita, at the last line !!!! πŸ™‚

    • March 25, 2010 2:38 pm

      Smitha… that last line was a killer….ROFL… hahahahaha…. u said it gurl!!

    • March 25, 2010 3:53 pm

      I was waiting for you rcomment Smita!! LOL!!

    • March 25, 2010 8:54 pm

      *bows before Smita* That last line sums it up. It has the wisdom of ages. πŸ˜€

    • March 26, 2010 1:50 pm

      One is more than enough??? Who are you fooling haan?

      All I have to do is call you and say “oye bugger I was checking out your last post in office & a colleague of mine stopped and seeing your photograph asked me, who is this?” Pat your response will come

      It was a she? Is she single & cute?? πŸ˜€
      And if I say she is but is married and has a daughter!
      You’ll be “is the daughter sinlge & cute??” πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›

      You might claim to be a One WOMAN man but the reality is in your dreams it would be One Man & so Many WOMAN πŸ˜€

      • March 27, 2010 3:28 am

        oyyy….I asked you those questions when I was single !!! Im a one woman man !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        Maine ek bar committment kar di tho…and whatever !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        btw, do you have a colleague whos cute and single πŸ˜‰

      • April 9, 2010 3:38 pm

        He already hs his eyes on the ladies college here πŸ˜›
        Oh Vims, u meant ‘Dont call them women; call them girls is it :P’

        So, when r u cmg to Hyd!’

        • April 9, 2010 10:19 pm

          at the earliest Swarr… but only if you are staying near that college !! Lucky Su !!! Chey !

  13. masood permalink
    March 25, 2010 11:52 am

    LOL
    What really caught my attention is the last word of your post “US” πŸ˜€
    Really? Did she help compose this for you?
    Isn’t that a strong hint already? πŸ˜‰

    • March 25, 2010 11:51 pm

      Oyyyy…..’us’ as in guys !!!

      I meant, we guys write post like this only because of how girls are !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      and I thought atleast you being a husband would support me !!! nahhhh !!! I guess I would have to fight everyone all by myself ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • April 9, 2010 3:39 pm

      Awesome Masood!

  14. March 25, 2010 1:03 pm

    Every single guy in this world IS happy after marriage,but he won’t accept the fact easily..amazing thing is, he starts cribbing about being married,loosing freedom,groceries stock,cooking atyachar.All these comes to guys mind only after a stomachfull of his favorite food πŸ˜‰

    Looks like these all jokes are fresh out of your humor factory πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:52 pm

      LOL !!! women, they will never ever understand a man !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      not humor factory !!! the factory that produces frustration…whats that called ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 11:06 am

        Ok..you can do one thing..rather than she cooking for you both..you start cooking..see that way some atyachar(as wht u say) would be reduced πŸ˜›

  15. March 25, 2010 2:38 pm

    Dei..enna maan ithu????what u doing to poor Laxmi???? btw, send me her email id na..wanna share this awesome blogpost with her!! hehehee ….

    • March 25, 2010 11:53 pm

      What am I doing to her ??? Cant you see whats written here??? she is doing something to me !!! Its not always me, ok ? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      she read it already !!! No more free lunch and dinner it seems ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 10:36 am

        Gud for you !!! BTW, whats Mrs V’s reaction to this post ???? Tell us honestly !!! Apart from banning the food part !!!! LOL πŸ˜†

  16. Vivek AKA V2 permalink
    March 25, 2010 4:09 pm

    Vimmuuu .. wat do u suggest ?? Marriage s pain ??

    • March 25, 2010 11:53 pm

      no…much more than a pain !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Stay away from it kiddo ! πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 10:37 am

        dho da, kathu kutti kitta padam kekkaranga paaru !!!! LOL πŸ˜†

        • Vivek AKA V2 permalink
          March 26, 2010 6:31 pm

          Really Vimmu .. u r right .. lately few of my friends got married .. “every husband has a sad story to tell”

  17. March 25, 2010 7:51 pm

    LOL…
    yeah yeah we get it..One comic way of saying that your loving your new life πŸ™‚

    • March 25, 2010 11:54 pm

      No…you dont get it !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Thats not what it meant !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  18. Smita permalink
    March 25, 2010 7:54 pm

    And for all your nautanki about bad home cooked food I am sure you must have gained some 10 kgs and must be looking 5 months preg πŸ˜€ with your paunch!!! And just to hide your frustration you make a dig @ the fact that you are getting home cooked meals??? Tcch! Tcch! Tcch!

    • March 25, 2010 8:24 pm

      ROFLMAO!!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

    • March 25, 2010 8:52 pm

      ROFL!!! Smita! you are hilarious! πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:56 pm

      Look whos speaking about paunch !!! I almost saw a baby kangaroo sitting inside you the last time we met !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 1:53 pm

        You almost saw a baby kangaroo sitting inside me?? What you have scanner eyes kya??

        But I like this!!! Insult ka badla meaner insult se!!! But you know what? Even if I do get a paunch like you, ppl will assume things which are possible but in your case people will faint πŸ˜€ the only purpose that your paunch can serve would be that of keeping a tea cup or milk glass on it πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› Bole toh portable center table πŸ˜€

        • March 26, 2010 4:28 pm

          ROFL!!! Smita!!! you rock!!
          damn! I so miss those yahoo msngr ROFL emoticons here πŸ˜€

        • March 27, 2010 3:37 am

          ROFL @ portable center table !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

          Dont worry, I shall get back to you in your post !!! Wait and watch !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        • April 1, 2010 11:57 pm

          ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

          Hats off to you smita!!
          You’re the best girl!! πŸ™‚

          Sorry Vimmuuu!! πŸ˜›

  19. March 25, 2010 8:34 pm

    veetuku thana poneenga itha ezhuthitu??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • March 25, 2010 11:57 pm

      ROFL !!! yes yes !!! nannaa vaangi kattitten !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  20. March 25, 2010 9:00 pm

    I wondered at the sadistic nature of the wife in this joke.

    Judge :- Why did you hit your husband with a chair?
    Wife:- I couldn’t lift the table.

    After reading your post I know the reason. πŸ˜†

    Oh!and btw the fourth ‘tch tch’ one ? Reverse the roles dude! and you will know what we women wish for too!
    πŸ˜›

    • March 25, 2010 11:58 pm

      LOL !!! poor hubby !!! he wouldve casually told her “you are putting on weight” and boooooommmm !!!…she hit him wid a chair !!! No one is bothered to know the other end of the story !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      you need a stripper too ???? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Tch Tch !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 3:53 pm

        If the stripper is a Troy-ish version then why not? πŸ˜€ if you know what I mean πŸ˜‰ hehe!

        • March 27, 2010 3:39 am

          LOL !!! seee seee, how pervert you girls are !!! I didnt even have an image of a stripper in my mind !!!

  21. March 25, 2010 9:01 pm

    Oh! and every wife has an even sadder story to tell! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    • March 25, 2010 11:45 pm

      attagirl my AP!! πŸ˜‰

    • March 26, 2010 12:00 am

      yeah yeah, but we have the saddest stories to tell !!!

      And ashwathy, i can understand why Indy made that statement, but what are you attagirl-ing for ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 1:01 am

        sad , sadder saddest…how about sad-er-est? WIfeys have the sad-er-est stories to tell hee haw! πŸ˜›

        And Ash is learning the lessons to deal with chumps like you know who πŸ™„
        *goes away whistling* πŸ˜€

        @Ash Yeah kid! high five! πŸ˜€

        • March 26, 2010 3:22 am

          you are a teacher, rt??? why create new words like this to mislead children ??? Smita is doing her education at this old age and would really think theres a word like that !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

          • March 26, 2010 1:59 pm

            sad-er-est??? Aiyyo!!! I have fainted!!! What all will you guys make me learn πŸ˜‰

  22. Priya permalink
    March 26, 2010 12:07 am

    “cooking” and updating profile one i looovedd.. :D….awesome work.. πŸ˜€

    • March 26, 2010 3:21 am

      Welcome to Vlokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

      πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Atlast a girl who agrees !!! πŸ˜€

      • March 26, 2010 10:39 am

        She doesnt the real devil, yet !!! πŸ™‚

        • March 26, 2010 10:40 am

          OOPS !!! She doesnt know the real devil yet !!! πŸ™‚

          • Priya permalink
            March 26, 2010 2:33 pm

            no no…umas..i know… :)..a regular visitor here…. πŸ™‚

      • Priya permalink
        March 26, 2010 2:32 pm

        thanks for welcoming me once again… though i have been a regular visitor i havent commented on all the posts ..i know thats bad…but i like your posts… πŸ™‚

        • March 27, 2010 3:40 am

          Ohhhh….thats a nice news !!! Thanks for reading ! and yes, please do keep reading !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  23. Mario permalink
    March 26, 2010 12:27 am

    Vimmuuu ,,, Im sure your wife has not read this !!

  24. Prakash Pattabhiraman permalink
    March 26, 2010 3:44 am

    Not only husbands even sages have a sad story!!!

    Public Notice BEWARE : Nowadays Sages are making disconnection to make connection. LOL!!

    LOL!!!!! Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap. LOL!!!

    In replying to earlier comments I don’t cook. (I don’t have blog). I know how to eat and find the tasty food. Yours Spicy.

    • March 26, 2010 10:42 am

      Good one, Prakash !!! You’ve learnt it well !!! Experience has taught you well !!! πŸ™‚

    • March 27, 2010 3:44 am

      Prakash ji…..you fan of nithyanandaa or any other ananda ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      come out of this trap !!! Loved it !!! Though I wish I can !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Great, so until you cook, please continue to have this spicy food !! I hope you dont have issues in the morning wid this spicy food πŸ˜‰

      You rock !!! πŸ˜€

  25. March 26, 2010 11:00 am

    This is a comment.

  26. Unknown permalink
    March 27, 2010 12:20 am

    God created the donkey Β  Β  and said to him. Β  Β “You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset Β  Β carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, Β  Β you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.” Β  Β The donkey answered: Β  Β “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years” Β  Β God granted his wish. Β  Β ……………………………………………………………………………. Β  Β God created the dog Β  Β  and said to him: Β  Β “You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. Β  Β You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. Β  Β You will be a dog. ” The dog answered: Β  Β “Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years. Β  Β ” God granted his wish. Β  Β ……………………………………………………………………………. Β  Β God created the monkey Β  Β  and said to him: Β  Β “You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. Β  Β You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. ” The monkey answered: Β  Β “To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.” Β  Β God granted his wish. Β  Β ……………………………………………………………………………. Β  Β Finally God created man Β  Β  and said to him: Β  Β “You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. Β  Β You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. Β  Β You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.” Β  Β Man responded: Β  Β “Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, Β  Β give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, Β  Β the 15 years that the dog did not want and Β  Β the 10 years the monkey refused. Β  Β ” God granted man’s wish Β  Β …………………………………………………………………………….. Β  Β And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, Β  Β marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, Β  Β working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Β  Β  Then when his children are grown, Β  Β he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house Β  Β and eating whatever is given to him, Β  Β  so that when he is old, Β  Β he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, Β  Β going from house to house and from one son or Β  Β daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren. Β  Β That’s Life. Β  Β Is’nt it?

    ______________________________________________
    Best Regards,
    Vimal Vijayan
    Mail sent by Vimal

    And since then, VIMAL completed his 20 years as a man, married and is spending 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are grown, he will live 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so when VIMAL is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren. That’s his Life.

    • March 27, 2010 3:45 am

      You guys should work in office, and not use fwds of mine as comments here !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 27, 2010 7:16 pm

        no no..u missed a point there…i think there was a time period whn he was also a thing called a vimala

  27. March 27, 2010 1:38 pm

    Hehehehe…how enlightening! Could I have her id, pls? I’m sure i can convince her into opening a blog too πŸ™‚ and sing your praises in there πŸ˜€

    oh…would be lovely to read your post n then go read her versions πŸ˜€

    • March 30, 2010 4:43 am

      Nahh ahhh !!! endoru aagraham !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      manushyanmaaru nannnaavanadu kaananan aagrahichooodey ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  28. March 27, 2010 7:32 pm

    Fantastic post dude !! and I was the one who recommended your post to Indy though i didnt comment.. I m too busy these days ! you see… πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    seriously loved the post… ! πŸ™‚ its you at your best !!!!!

    • March 30, 2010 4:44 am

      Thanks buddy !!! and thanks for referring too ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      I can understand you are very busy taking snaps of killing mosquitos !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Hope to see you active all over again !!!

  29. March 28, 2010 1:10 am

    1)Why r u blaming ur poor wife for ur dysentery? u know there is a procedure called “washing ur hands” before u gobble up tasty food.When r u goin to learn all this man?

    Vim : Dude, that was ages ago. I wash my hands now πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    2) Honey???? hahahahahaha…i cant stop laughing!!

    Vim : Whats there to laugh about ? πŸ˜€

    3) heyy..i remember this dialogue….and didn’t i reply telling tht i would be serving pappadams at ur next wedding πŸ˜›

    Vim : Yeah !! so be there ! I am insecured ever since I published this post ! πŸ˜€

    4)The stripper would faint even before entering tht colorful building of urs!

    Vim : LOL !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ could happen ! sambhavichekaaam ! πŸ˜€

    5)hahahahahahahah…..i guess ur bike is now more like a vegetable cart na…man could u plz post a snap of u riding the bike with those vegetables? plzzz

    Vim : ROFL !!! you made me imagine too !!! Shall get you the pictures one day ! πŸ˜€

    6)sweet heart???? hahaha… faint hahahhahahahaha…so whts next “snugglebumms”? hehe

    Vim : Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr………..

    7)I must go to tht matrimonial site click on tht REPORT FRAUD button!

    Vim : LOL !!! There isnt any ! Its all planned dude ! πŸ˜€

    8)Good point…i agree with u over there

    9)She is doin more than adjustment dude…she is living with a psychopath!!

    Vim : Dude, ente bhaarye kurichu anaavashyam parayarudu. She is living with me. and who is this psychopath ? how does he look like ? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • March 28, 2010 4:34 am

      “She is doin more than adjustment dude…she is living with a psychopath!!”

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah Bart, you brat! Kalakittepaaaa!

      • March 28, 2010 9:35 pm

        kalikteeppa? the wht? who is this drunkard lady?
        is she promoting alchohlism or wht?!!

        πŸ˜› hehe

        • March 28, 2010 9:40 pm

          Sorry its alcoholism….see now u even made me misspell ‘alcoholism’!!
          D’oh!

          • March 29, 2010 6:43 am

            Hic. Hic…ennada Bart fella! romba thimira? πŸ˜€

            • March 29, 2010 11:22 am

              nope im not old enough to have ‘thimiram’ in my eyes..i know its a condition caused whn old ladies drink too much alcohol!

    • March 30, 2010 8:37 pm

      oru undakannan with a kalla lakhshanam!

  30. March 28, 2010 4:29 am

    Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!Shut up!Shut up!Shut up!

    Okay now let me read the post.

  31. March 28, 2010 4:31 am

    Dear Laxmikutty, If you ever feel like kicking this %$$#$ arse, I will join you. What were you thinking? I mean, what were you thinking when you said YES to this Vimm$$$#$##$#% satan?

    • March 28, 2010 4:33 am

      Psst….I was just joking ketto. He is a sweetie. πŸ˜€

    • March 30, 2010 4:40 am

      heyyy….you beeeped twice and once even using my body part !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ but don, I pardon you for that second comment ! You are the sweetest ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • March 30, 2010 10:58 am

        What? Sweetest? Ente Amme! This mutual admiration society is not good. We need to get back to our evil selves.

        • March 31, 2010 3:36 am

          I know !!! back to our evil ways ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  32. March 28, 2010 6:35 am

    Didn’t expect this post from you so soon!! I thought it would take atleast 6 months, but you surpassed my expectations ;-)))

    • March 30, 2010 4:39 am

      whats that 6 months ??? some kind of expiry date ??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • April 9, 2010 3:54 pm

        Vimmuuu I hv only one qs though πŸ˜› πŸ˜› Abt gud news πŸ˜‰

        • April 9, 2010 10:15 pm

          Look whos speaking ! who got married first woman ???? huh ?

  33. SONEE permalink
    March 28, 2010 4:13 pm

    Now i am sure you might have lost some more weight and this time not cos of a very healthy food or dysentery you get but because she might have gone on a strike and not cooked for you coz you published this …..

    • March 30, 2010 4:38 am

      ROFL !!! nope !! surprisingly no, because even she needs to survive, na ? and for that I need to get the provisions ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  34. March 29, 2010 1:18 pm

    Hi Laxmipathi, you and Laxmi must be together in this, eh?! You are fooling us, your blogfriends, writing these jokes and enjoying our comments!

    I am enjoying both – your post and the comments! Which one is the best comment, Laxmi?!

    • March 30, 2010 4:37 am

      LOL !! I swear on anyone that she has nothing to do with any of my posts !! I read the post to her only after I publish them. I really dont appreciate anyone asking me to edit my post after writing them ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      and she doesnt normally read the comments too !! πŸ˜€

  35. March 29, 2010 2:41 pm

    😦 I have just got engaged and you are scaring me πŸ˜₯

    • March 30, 2010 4:35 am

      LOL ! All the best dude ! πŸ˜€ and wait, congrats ! πŸ˜€

  36. March 29, 2010 6:38 pm

    So you too have started writing marital posts πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ How is Laxmi doing with a obnoxious guy like you? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› May God give her patience and strength.

    • March 30, 2010 4:34 am

      Oyy, you havnt been reading my posts kya ?? I had written almost 3 posts on marriage already ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      ya, may god give her whatever she wants ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • April 9, 2010 3:55 pm

        Hw did he give her Vimal then 😦 Did she really want a devil??

        • April 9, 2010 10:15 pm

          I think I heard a ‘oops’ from up above when she agreed to marry me ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  37. March 30, 2010 12:57 pm

    he he… it is so great to see friends land in the same trap! Its like when you see a movie like ‘Kaal’, you tell your friends, go go its an awesome movie and when they come back, you have that weird smirk on your face… Right now, I’ve got that smirk πŸ˜€

    • March 30, 2010 1:07 pm

      What? You didn’t like ‘Kaal’. I loved it. It starred John Abraham. πŸ˜‰

      • April 4, 2010 1:26 pm

        What there was John? I mistook him as another log of wood, along with the other numerous trees in the movie πŸ˜› They’d got the same expression…

    • March 31, 2010 3:38 am

      LOL !!!! Rakesh, thats one of the best comparisons I have read in recent times !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      But you guys shouldve atleast left me a clue !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ a small clue wouldve been ok ! πŸ˜€

    • April 9, 2010 3:56 pm

      And look @ the DP here .. a happy married man with his better half πŸ˜› πŸ˜› WhaT Rakesh?

  38. March 30, 2010 2:24 pm

    dude, if u made up all those conversations, u are one creative fella… (im sorry i dont buy that story of sage).. if u got these from real life conversations, boy, are u surrounded by intersting ppl!!
    :):):)
    thanks for the laffs.. the way the day is going, i REALLLLLLY needed it! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    btw, i hope ur wife follows ur blog regularly..if u dont get dinner one of these days, be rest assured, it was because she read this post!!!

    • March 31, 2010 3:43 am

      Its the latter mandira !!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Im surrounded by interesting people !!! and its me in the black color font in the conversations !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      She doesnt follow it on her own. I would have to ask her to read them !!! and I did make her read this too !!! Im expecting food poisoning soon !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  39. March 30, 2010 9:56 pm

    hahahha ROFLing post…
    did your wife read this πŸ˜›
    seems you are not going to get dinner tonight πŸ˜›

    • March 31, 2010 3:44 am

      oh, this happened a few days back !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ and I am still surviving !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  40. Mario permalink
    March 31, 2010 10:29 pm

    Famous conversation of Vimal:
    Girl : why do you observe girls soo much , Y dont you do this to your wife.

    Vimal : I am better off observing other’s wives.

  41. April 2, 2010 12:14 am

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    I haven’t laughed so much in ages.
    God I miss reading your post.
    I guess I will have to try and make ore time to read again.
    Hugs Vimmuuu!!!!!

    • April 4, 2010 11:17 am

      Welcome back after a loooong time !!!

      Every woman laughs at a mans pathetic situation !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • April 9, 2010 3:59 pm

        And a man still stays in the same pathetic situation with the woman who causes it? Or say he says πŸ˜›
        Men … baaah!

        • April 9, 2010 5:15 pm

          As if we have a choice. There are people like IHM all over !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  42. April 3, 2010 1:52 pm

    Haha…would love to read the other version of these conversations…or even the conversation after Mrs V read this!
    You sure are one bold guy!

    • April 4, 2010 11:18 am

      Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

      LOL !!! there was silence after the missus read this; for about 3 hours !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Yeah, I am getting this years Param Vir Chakra ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      • April 7, 2010 1:25 pm

        I am sure u will miss out on the home made food for some time, and I have seen u a lot in Swarms and Smitha’s…will add u on, ur too hilarious to be missed!

        • April 9, 2010 4:01 am

          I am honored πŸ™‚

          oh, not for missing out on the home made food πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

          • April 9, 2010 4:00 pm

            See .. our blogs r so gud for u! So better leave some decent comments there!!!!

            • April 9, 2010 5:14 pm

              I shall leave all my decent comments elsewhere. Your blog is for me to unleash my creativity !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  43. April 6, 2010 11:21 am

    Hello Mr.Disciplined πŸ˜› Show some of it and write a new post here ROFL πŸ˜†
    Ahem .. congrats on winning the awards Vimmuuu … am so happy for u πŸ‘Ώ tears of joy n all that πŸ˜‰

    • April 6, 2010 11:22 am

      Btw, that pen hs turned to be really lucky for u na .. cmg from good, noble hands πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    • April 9, 2010 4:03 am

      LOL !!! I know, ever since those awards were announced, I never wrote anything here, na ? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Thanks for the happiness, tears, and joy and all the jealousy behind it πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Pen ??? You write your posts in a paper and then type it in ur PC ??? Sorry, I dont do that ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Btw, I have never used the pen till date πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ I never got an opportunity !!! πŸ™‚

      • April 9, 2010 4:02 pm

        Jealousy … whatz that πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

        :grrr whether u use it or nt!!! It did bring lucky moments for u πŸ˜›

        And see, lest u forget and then frame up things, u cn use it with any bits of paper available to jot down such interesting things n then convert them into a post πŸ˜‰

        • April 9, 2010 5:13 pm

          lucky moments???? WOMAN, I GOT MARRIED !!! how (un)lucky can I get ??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

          isnt that too much of an effort for a post?? seriously?? πŸ˜‰

  44. April 7, 2010 1:43 pm

    Disclaimer- Laxmikutty came in my dreams and said all this and told me to post it. I have nothing to do with this! its her version..(obviously out of experience from life with vimmuuu! :P) Im plannin to stay awake..lest she should come in my dreams again…and make me post like ths!

    Vim : You dont even know how she looks like ! Liar !!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ She came in your dreams, it seems ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Pachakallam (green lies) !!

    Friend 1 : You seem to be losing weight after wedding..Exercising?
    Friend 2: Yeah I have brought a machine(read as Husband) that helps!
    Friend 1: Wow seems to be so effective?
    Friend 2: Yeah a husband who wants food and goes around blaming, who doesn’t know to clean the house but then crib about sharing..!

    Vim : How does one lose weight blaming and cribbing ?? Beats me ! Then, there shouldnt be any fat women in the world !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Wife: Will you ever leave me ?
    Husband : Oh honey, never !!
    Wife : Seriously??? Not even hope?!

    Vim : How I wish !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Husband (after resolving an issue for his wife) : What would you do without me ! Tch Tch !
    Wife: Me ? Hmm…Cook & live n peace..shop when I want and remain β€œpositive” for the rest of my life devoid of silly comments on how I look n cook from sillier people who knows neither!

    Vim : Remain positive ??? LOL !!! Donno why, I somehow got reminded of Swami Nithyaananda !! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Husband: Heyy, today is the one day test match between India and Sreelanka!
    Wife: You mean, I ought to double lock the doors before any thief steals things right off your hand!

    Vim : Laxmi will never say this !! I dont watch sports; the whole world knows it, perhaps except you ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Wife : Hey you look stunning ..without your other wedding band
    Husband: Awwww… But what is the β€˜other’ band?
    Wife : Remote Control !

    Vim : Again, not applicable in my case. I dont watch TV ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Looks like some other laxmi came in your dreams ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Colleague 1 : You are always on the phone ever since you got married. Wont your husband be busy? Let him concentrate in his work!
    Colleague 2 : Arey, I speak to only him only when I am at home. and when I am not at home, I speak with my other boy friends which ideally isnt possible when he is around. Infact, I AM letting him concentrate in his work !

    Vim : again, how I wish !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Friend 1 : So, hows your life? How r u both finding the new place?
    Friend 2 : Hmm…WE are adjusting.
    Friend 1 : We??? how are YOU adjusting ?
    Friend 2 : I am cooking, feeding and cleaning up the place for a dummy that cannot be shifted from the front of the TV/Computer..every time I want it to move I got to move around the TV!..and worse? The onl function it ever does is open its mouth to crib!

    Vim : Good god, you took so much of efforts to write this comment which is as long as my post !!! See how jobless women can get ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    • April 9, 2010 4:04 pm

      Free from the wedding band, which is the ‘hus’ band πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      ROFL Verbi, what an awesome comment! Aweesomeee!

    • April 12, 2010 3:00 pm

      Wow, you have comments that are a post by themselves…u rock, Vimmu, with Laxmi by ur side!

  45. April 7, 2010 5:46 pm

    “Heyy, today is the ONE DAY TEST MATCH between India and Sreelanka!”

    ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    GOD….these Women!!!! πŸ™„

    • April 8, 2010 11:33 am

      Aaah…just like another ‘guy’ πŸ˜› Has nothing to say for all the other brilliant ones — but goes hunting for errors!! (psst…are you a copywriter/proofreader, by any chance? πŸ˜€ )

      When Cricket mania kicks off, its a real “TEST” for the wife, who seem to become miniscule and near to invisible compared to the sport and the TV πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      • April 9, 2010 4:20 am

        Poor guy; he was just being a lill informative !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        You all get married to the wrong guys !!! There are quite a lot like me who are least interested in sports and TV !!! Oh, and such guys who arent interested in those are boring, na ? Hypocrites !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        • April 9, 2010 11:51 am

          Oh no no. Mine fooled my by saying he likes only tennis and football: those heavenly sports that get over in an hour or so πŸ˜‰

          • April 9, 2010 3:00 pm

            No no I dont think he tricked u there coz all men love women’s tennis n football πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

            • April 9, 2010 3:03 pm

              Hahahaha…good point. And honestly, I wouldnt mind; these sports get over quick! πŸ˜‰ But well, he doesnt even watch tennis or football (no gender bias either). It always is CRICKET. Grrrrr

    • April 9, 2010 4:05 pm

      Go read the rules for proper nouns hmmpfff!

      • April 9, 2010 5:11 pm

        You know what, we guys need a lill space from you women and get hooked to the TV for sports, even if we dont like what we are watching !!! Like what you women do in the kitchen in the name of cooking !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  46. Deeps permalink
    April 11, 2010 2:16 pm

    Kashtham…Inganathe oru dushthaney aanallo menakki edukkendadu aa paavam Laxmikku!

    “Every husband has a sad story to tell”..yeah sure…but the wife has not just A story but stories galore to tell. And I’m sure Laxmi will agree with me 😈

    • April 12, 2010 9:16 pm

      hehehehe !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ and I tell her that the blogosphere ruined me ! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      yeah yeah; you only have stories ? But we are the only ones with the sad stories ! πŸ˜€

  47. May 4, 2010 6:49 pm

    Amzing vimmuuuu…sorry gurlss but couldnt stop laughing …:)

  48. May 21, 2010 2:14 am

    reached this article from books life n more .. πŸ˜€ .. glad i found your blog ..

    • May 21, 2010 2:56 pm

      Welcome to Vlokam buddy and thanks for the comment.

      I hopped over to your blog too, and I must admit, you have some amazing snaps there ! Btw, do you write or is it just about those wonderful pics !

      • May 21, 2010 3:46 pm

        Hey, I just take photographs. No writing skills. So whenever I find a blog that has some well-written stuff in it, I subscribe to it. πŸ™‚ Glad you liked my photographs. Concert photography is what I actually do. If thats your area of interest, check out http://www.umbrellajune.com.

  49. July 18, 2010 10:52 pm

    You have 3 extra ascii characters in your title, that was not required (explicitly) πŸ˜›

  50. July 18, 2010 10:55 pm

    Related: Chance to win goodies, answer this Vimmuuu “http://thesongoflife.wordpress.com/2010/07/14/wordless-wednesday-12/#comment-24649”

    • Swaram permalink
      July 20, 2010 9:15 pm

      No reply πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  51. June 3, 2011 11:47 pm

    Hey Vimmuuu..

    From your first post I understood that you have reduced a lot of weight after marriage..
    However I feel, you are still a Gundus.
    I can’t imagine your physic before marriage..

    Ishwara… so pls thank Laxmi πŸ˜‰

Trackbacks

  1. Every wife has sad stories to tell! « The Song of Life
  2. My stay in a Ladies Hostel !!! « V-Lokam
  3. An interview with the sage! « V-Lokam

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