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Guest Post : Raavan – A ‘Leaked’ Story(Part 1)

June 11, 2010

Edited to add : This post has been selected by Blogadda as one of their Spicy Saturday Picks.

Vlokam finally gets its first guest post. This is ‘hopefully’ a two part post by my childhood buddy Rakesh aka Karate Brat; ‘hopefully’ because he keeps getting ideas and isnt bothered about the length of the post. But I assure you, though its lengthy, you guys are gonna enjoy reading as it seriously is one of the whackiest stuff I have ever read.

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Disclaimer : This post is not directed at the mythology Ramayan and the characters in it, and is only a take on Mani Ratmans latest movie ‘Raavan’ releasing on the 18th of this month which is produced by RELIANCE. We had no ‘unintentional’ intention to hurt anyone’s religious sentiments here. For example, had someone told anything bad about E.T, we would have kicked their butts. We know how it feels people; the pain!! We have utmost respect to all religions, including Khusbhu-ism & Katrian-ity. The actors ‘maybe’ real, but the situations aren’t and we are responsible for only the latter.

And a note to the animal rights activists – no animals were hurt during the process of making this post. Well, except for a few pandas and  Big foot.

Below is the casting (as per the media reports) on which this write up is based.

Ram –          Vikram,                                     Raavan –   Abhishek Bachchan

Sita –          Aishwaya Rai Bachchan      Hanuman –  Govinda

Shoorpanaka– Priyamani                     Laxman – Nikhil Dwivedi

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It was a dark and lonely night in Cochin. There were signs of an impending hurricane and thunder storms. The dogs in the streets were barking at cars that passed by. There was an eerie feeling through out the city. The winds were blowing fearlessly. Coconut trees were swinging in the heavy winds, dropping coconuts on a couple of innocent looking cats passing by the alley.

At the end of the street we see a dark figure through the open window of a lodge. He is Rakesh, an ex-employee of Reliance. (Not getting too much into his character, he doesn’t have one!)

We can see a loud television playing in the background showing an interview with Mr. Ambani during one of the IPL matches.

We can see terror in his face. Ever since he knew the shooting of Raavan was happening in and around the deep jungles of Kerala, he had been in Cochin on his special ‘mission’. The only thing that was on his mind was Revenge! Nothing else mattered to him.

If Revenge had an Ugly face, it was Him!

“THERE WILL BE BLOOD!! Muahhahahahahaha!!” He shouted at the T.V and continued, “You come from a family of petrol pirates and Knock off t-shirt makers, and like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history, to forget all the lives the Ambani family has destroyed ! If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in him, there will be Oil in the water, & the sharks will die, all I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you.

Karenge Tumhari duniya mitti mein…Ambaniii!!

With great jobs comes great Rewards! And I didn’t get mine!

So I will take what lawfully belongs to me!

Release the Reward  !!!

GRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!”

“Will you keep it down there?? There are other people here trying to sleep. Keep your emotional outbursts to yourself” shouted the lodge manager. The manager continued,”Btw, wasn’t that the lines from the latest Iron Man movie?”

Rakesh shouts back at the manager,”Stop yelling. I am trying to have a moment here. I will pay extra for my emotional outbursts! Now, leave me alone?”

“So, where was I?….ahh….GRRRR…. “There will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come”

Rakesh saw himself in the mirror. His face and whole body was covered in dirt. Rakesh started speaking to himself, like a psychopath, looking at his own image in the mirror, “I finally have it – the one thing that’s going to change my life. Muhahaha” and he continued laughing hysterically. There was a certain feeling of accomplishment in that evil laugh of his!

Rakesh recollected how he was sly enough in sneaking into the film production camp disguising as one of the backup dancers covered in dirt in the ‘Thok de killi’ song. During the shooting of the song, he managed to enter Mani Ratnam’s tent. That’s when his eyes fell upon the priceless diary of Mani Ratnam; the supposedly rumored diary that contained the TEN alternate climaxes of Raavan !!! He knew how important the diary is to complete the movie, considering the fact that Mani Ratnam hasn’t written down the climaxes anywhere else !! He flipped through the pages and found out that Mani had even left personal notes under some of the climaxes. These climaxes were the missing heads and he decided to use these heads against the main head……Ambannniiii!!! Muhahahahha!!

He was sure that the entire crew would go in circles searching for the diary, and so he left a threatening letter for Ambani, revealing his contact details.

Without wasting time, Rakesh started reading Mani Ratnams personal diary…..

Dear Diary,

Following are the climaxes on which I am planning to complete the movie :

Climax 1

Vikram first kills Abhishek for stealing his wife and then he kills Aishwarya for being so old and boring. He then steals all the sandalwood, animal skins & money from Abhisheks den. And, Vikram and his brother, Nikhil, then burn Govinda alive and push him off the Sanjeevani mountain to get rid of any evidences.

[Even aggresive version of Beera playing till the end credits]

“I might be asked why I do all this to Govindas character in the end for no reason. Well, I need to teach him a lesson for being late on the sets. A scene where his tail, I mean, dhoti catches fire was supposed to be shot yesterday and he arrived 8 hours late for the shoot.Hmmpphh”

THE END

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Climax 2

After killing Abhishek, Vikram and Aish on their way back gets lost in the thick jungle. During the battle, Vikram had lost his mobile phones, GPRS and the satellite phones and had no clue where they were.

Without any food and bottled mineral water, they keep wandering around for a few days, until they are finally exhausted !

Vikram, who had a lot of injuries from the bloody battle, is now on the verge of death, and during his final moments, he asks Ash :

“How come you are not dying?”

Ash: Well, what to say. Even though he was a monster, that Raavan guy was a gentleman, you know. He used to give me chicken biriyani every day, you know and even ice creams on Fridays. Wanna smell my hands?

Vikram: I am glad you will not die. Finally, I have to ask you one more thing {..pat..pat..cough..spitting blood}. How much do you love me ?

Ash: oh no! Wait a sec honey, I think I got a new twitter message. Lemme go reply. Wait, ok ?

Vikram: what??? you had a laptop with you all this while??? You b%^&*….aahhhh…(Dies)

Ash: Well, what to say. Even though he was an animal, that Raavan guy was a gentleman, you know…. (turns to Vikram) oh honey u slept already, I shall be right back after this reply ! Be patient darling !

Soon after, Ash gets killed by a bear.

Her final twitter message :

“LOL ..Me stuck in a jungle while hubby is snoring away to glory. Men, I tell you.. LMAO”

THE END

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

Climax 3

“This one is for my family audience”

Vikram defeats Abhishek and rescues Aish from the jungle. Abhishek is handed over to the law and is sent to prison

Aishwarya is greeted at her new home by her father-in-law and mother-in-law (cameo by Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan)

A few days later in a newspaper column :

‘Bride murdered by her in-laws for dowry!’

The last scene in the movie shows Abhishek, Amitabh and Jaya in jail sharing the same cell !

THE END

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Climax 4

Aish gets kidnapped from Abhishek by yet another kidnapper Salman Khan – Duss packs waale, who even left an autographed shirtless pic of his and now Abhishek has no clue what to do. So he kidnaps Govinda and makes him dress up like Aish to fool Vikram.

Vikram comes to rescue her, pays the ransom amount to Abhishek, Abhishek hands over the fake Aish to Vikram. Vikram could never figure out the difference, aakhir Rab ne Bana Di Jodi!

Meanwhile, Vivek Oberoi aka Sugreevan, feels something fishy about the new Aish, calls up a press conference and tells that he used to get threatening calls from Salman Khan and that the new Aish is an imposter.

Nobody believes him and the press reporters, comprising of Asrani, Om Puri, Sunil Shetty, Paresh Rawal, Shakti Kapoor, Arbaaz Khan runs behind him in and around the building continuously for no apparent reason and beat him to death.

THE END

“Take that Priyadarshan, even I can make mindless comedies!”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Just then, Rakesh listens to someone knocking on his door. “Who could it be?”, he wondered. “Who is it”, he shouted. There was no answer. A sudden feeling of fright came into his face. “What if they traced me? All my revenge dreams will go down the drains”, he thought to himself. The intensity of the knock on the door increases. Keeping the diary under his pillow, Rakesh grabs the kettle from the table and proceeds towards the door.

To be continued….

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135 Comments leave one →
  1. June 11, 2010 11:10 pm

    :O
    mujhe to samajh hi nahin aaya?
    :O

    • June 11, 2010 11:41 pm

      Mijn naam is Karate Brat! Sir Sir Er zal een huwelijk in uw huis.
      kraai zal dienen ‘upperi’. de kat zal dienen ‘pulisheri’. uw banaan te krijgen laat klaar, omdat de olifant serveren ‘chammandi’!

    • June 14, 2010 7:36 pm

      Dude TG, drunk driving, I mean, reading is injurious to health ! 😀 Look how Karate Brat got back at you !! 😀

  2. June 11, 2010 11:31 pm

    Apidiya?? so the Brat was in exile all these days from his blog bcoz he was trying to be Valmiki??? 😯 And you are the modern Ganapati (yeah you do resemble him from a certain angle) to jot this out on your blog to torture us??

    Not getting too much into his character, he doesn’t have one!!!! The bestest line of the century I say 😎

    Let me read the rest of the Ramayan and try to figure out who is Sita to Ram? :mrgreen:

  3. June 11, 2010 11:48 pm

    “With great jobs comes great Rewards!”…… Attorney Sakshi on behalf of all the Chaddi wearing Spider People serves notice to the author for flicking their very own webbed famous lines and posting it on the world wide web for mere mortals to laugh at. 😈

    • June 12, 2010 3:13 am

      Karate brat arrives at the courtroom with ‘The Incredible Hulk’ as his attorney and within a few minutes into the whole court proceedings things go awry.
      Spiderman comments on Hulks Purple pants
      “hey how come your pants never tear when u get angry?”

      Hulk: GRR..atleast i know where to wear a pant..Not like u who wears ur pants on ur face!

      And thus a scary battle ensues resulting in total destruction of the court room,while our attorney yakshi slyly escapes from the scene!

      • June 12, 2010 3:16 am

        Before escaping Respected Attorney Yakshi manages to pull Karate Brat’s black belt and thus exposes the court to …………………………………………….. To be continued..

  4. June 12, 2010 12:08 am

    These climaxes were the missing heads and he decided to use these heads against the main head…… *sakshi counting how many heads the Brat has* 😯

    ROFL at Govinda arriving late. Yeah high time someone teach him a lesson for wearing Colour Blinding clothes too 😎

    CLIMAX 2 is the Ravaan of all 😀 Let me ROFL, LMAO and do my laundry and come back wiping my tears after reading this one… Brat one pat for this climax. 😛

  5. June 12, 2010 12:11 am

    Climax 3 Title can be “Kyunki Bachan’s bhi kabhi Sasuraal the”

  6. June 12, 2010 12:20 am

    Salman Khan, dus pack waale???????????? Smitaaaaaaaaaaaa where are you? I think these boys are trying to do Voodoo to get you here *shudders*

  7. June 12, 2010 12:26 am

    Brat why did you grab the kettle?? Che orikallum nannavilla chekkan. You forgot that you are no more working as the Tea Boy for Reliance :mrgreen:

    To be continued??????? Wait a minute don’t tell me you are challenging Vimmu on his Europe Series and going to run 10 episode of this?? *faint*

    • June 12, 2010 4:42 am

      Its not just a Kettle u see..its contains holy water to scare away any supernatural creatures…what if a yakshi shows up at the door?? i should be prepared na
      😈

      No i don’t think i can hang around here for too long.I shouldn’t stand in the way of his ‘ever-flowing’ Bathroom posts! :mrgreen:

  8. June 12, 2010 12:46 am

    Why a Kettle? He should have at least picked a knife.

    • June 12, 2010 1:30 am

      Attention all Pizza delivery guys,doothwalas, Dhobiwalas and paper boys!! 😈

      Under no circumstances!! No matter what happens…!!
      Never knock on Indian homemakers door! Don’t even think about it!
      I repeat…Don’t Ever go near that door!
      She is armed and dangerous! 😛

      :mr green:

  9. June 12, 2010 1:21 am

    Eagerly looking forward to the next part.

    Here’s what I think would happen. Aish (Govinda as Ash) will sing to Salman Khan’s photograph,
    (Borrowing the tune of Ye kaali kaali aankhen)

    Salman Khan looks great

    Heh heh if we ignore that pet 🙂

    Under eye bags are fine,

    Since he isn’t mine 😉

    Each eye looks like a lotus

    When he’s trying hard to focus

    Better keep his ten packs covered

    The world is very bad…

    If he gains a kilo more,

    He will look like a chaar bachchon ka dad

    His gelled hair is black as night

    And his face glows so white!

    Fair and Handsome ka kamaal

    Dhai inch ka hath shining by Tel Dabur Lal

    Chiknai by Mardon waali cream,

    Makes him any woman’s dream 🙄

    See his muscles gleam?

    Haywards 5000 keeps them looking so cool

    Some female bloggers see him and drool 🙄
    Muscles and beer belly,

    look cool on the telly 🙂

    • June 12, 2010 1:39 am

      ROFL IHM you punched Sallu boy hard on his 10 packs 😀

    • June 12, 2010 1:41 am

      Correction ppl…she is armed,DRUNK and dangerous!

      • June 12, 2010 4:53 am

        btw IHM the lyrics were awesome!! hehehe
        wait i will join u in the song as chorus
        I will sing the background
        ”turu roo,turu roo….turu roo,turu roo'”
        part

        😆

        Hey maybe we can use this song as a commercial in the movie since it contains references to F&H,Dabur tel & Haywards 😀 😀

        • June 12, 2010 12:25 pm

          Ha ha 😆 I think Smita is going to love this song, don’t you think so too?

          • June 12, 2010 3:31 pm

            LOL!!! Since have spent so much time on making this song am sure u love Sallu and are just trying to show that you don’t 😉

            • June 13, 2010 3:35 am

              D’oh i thought u would come up with an Anti-Srk song Smita!

              Cmon u can do it smita!

              Plz fight will ya! i like to watch ppl fight! hehe

              :mrgreen:

    • June 14, 2010 7:39 pm

      IHM, is that really you ??? a poem on Sallu ; like what Smita said, you did think a lot about Salman, even on his physical appearance !! 😀 😀

    • June 16, 2010 11:51 am

      ROFL. That was superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr IHM!

  10. June 12, 2010 2:24 am

    As of now, I’ll go with Climax 4 if ever such a film comes out … 😛

    “ab tera kya hoga Brattuuuuu”

    • June 12, 2010 2:25 am

      by Bratuu .. i mean Karate Brat

    • June 12, 2010 3:20 am

      Ah u may never know 😉 Will give u a role as one of the press conference ppl if this gets made ok! 😀

      wahi hoga jo manzur-e-kuda hoga deeepppuuu and by deeeeppuuu i meant deepa 😀

      • June 14, 2010 8:22 am

        chee cheee … dont make me review one of ur C grade cheap films …. what did you think of me ? Hmmppphhhh !!!

        😛

        • June 14, 2010 11:31 pm

          OK thn i will pay u to write good reviews abt my future movies! Deal? 😀

          • June 15, 2010 3:33 am

            first of all, solve my riddle ….. it is a reply to the comment you left on my previous post ….

  11. June 12, 2010 2:39 am

    OK so now Vimmuuu & Rakesh have teamed up to give Holly-Bolly-Tolly-……wood (any forest for that matter) a run for their money and scripts with this?? :mrgreen:

    I am with IHM, why on earth would Rakesh pick that kettle?? I mean if he wants to hit someone who might know his plans, give him a punch, or if you want that filmi feel, grab a soft-drink bottle…if he turns out friendly offer cold drink, if not break it on his head 😉 😉 :mrgreen:

    Can’t wait for the next part 😛

    • June 12, 2010 2:52 am

      Well thts all i could find in tht lodge ok..i dont carry a knife with me all the time like IHM
      does.Listen this is a kid friendly blog ok! Thts why we have cut down much of the voilence here..well except for tht burning govinda part and killing aish,abhishek!!

      well…err…mm…D’oh! Oh god..i just realized how cruel i am! 😦 im a sick man

      Sigh!Maybe i should change the whole ratings to PG 13 now!
      I hope u all r above 13+
      Im really sorry 😦

      • June 15, 2010 5:40 am

        C’mon Brat you did a fantastic job with this story….be good to us and post the continued part soon 😛

        Congratulations on being the BlogAdda Spicy pick, it indeed was spicy ; ) 😉

  12. June 12, 2010 3:08 am

    Nice imagination but I hardly get the humor part 😦 😦 as you have promised you should the next part where I can understand the humor in it 🙂 🙂

    waiting eagerly for the next part.. 🙂 🙂

    • June 12, 2010 3:26 am

      dont worry man..i will come up with a tamil version especially for u! I promise 😛
      ithu sahthiyom ..sathiiyomm..sathiyouuummm!! 😀

      • June 14, 2010 1:48 pm

        Y Tamil version .. he said he does nt get the humour part. Nt that he does not get the Angla bhasha 😡

        • June 14, 2010 3:21 pm

          iya yooo Swaram ji….enna ithu….Don’t create a controversy swaramboo 😦 i will cry now! 😦

          im already under lots of fire ,the whole FBI,CIA,Scotlandyard & Hongkong Mafia is out there to hunt me down,u know!I never said he doesn’t get the Angla Basha ok .I had talked to him personally,then only i commented this 🙂

          Wht Kanagu said to me was,he felt i gave more prominence to the Bollywood stars and that he wanted to see some Tollywood stars also,as he is waiting for ‘Raavanan’ instead of ‘Raavan’.So let me see if i can make him laugh in the next part,or i will just have to use nitrous oxide! 😀 😀 😀

          So now all izz well now? Or should i make a Telegu version for u as well? 😀 😀

          • June 14, 2010 3:23 pm

            i meant ‘Tamil movie industry’,Kamal Hassan sir doesnt like such terms like Kollywood & tollywood! 🙂

            • June 14, 2010 7:41 pm

              Kanagu, why did you search for ‘humor’ in the post ? 😀 😀 😀 Nowhere its mentioned its a humorous post !! 😉

          • June 15, 2010 5:33 pm

            What on earth made u think I am a Telugu specialist 😛

            And oyeeeee, dare u say controversy and all that-aa .. mindddd it 👿

            • June 15, 2010 7:27 pm

              iyayooo!

              i will use some other word like debate or indifference next time
              😉 hehehe

  13. June 12, 2010 9:40 am

    Great creativity and very well written.

    That pun on Priyadharshan – very well needed one…let him stop making mindless comedies….its no more laughable… 🙂

    Salman Khan – how can a story on Aish happen without him, na ???

    As IHM asked, Why a kettle ????? 🙄 Explain please !!!

    ROFL @ twitter part by Aish !!!!

    So, whos the intruder ????

    Good job, Karate Brat !!!

    • June 13, 2010 2:56 am

      Hi 🙂

      It was actually valmikis idea, i just remixed it!
      Ya priyadarsan movies r like a cocktail of different films mixed together in one
      His movies r just loud and ppl in it just scream, instead of talking!

      And regarding the kettle plz refer to the comment i gave to yakshi! 😛

      Do u tweet as well?

      Ah the intruder? Tht we will have to wait till next part 🙂

      Thnku UmaS 😀

  14. June 12, 2010 10:19 am

    Now, I’m wondering if karate Brat is turning himself into a super hacker to turn down the million odd reliance connected cell-ers!

    • June 13, 2010 3:04 am

      Ahh whnevr u see a “Network problem or connection problem” in ur cellphone!
      Samjho its me,The one and only karate brat, hacking into ur phone to steal ur valuable contacts,sms’s,videos n pics!! :mrgreen:

      Muhahahaha! so watch out Rakesh! :wicked:

  15. June 12, 2010 3:11 pm

    Ok I haven’t yet read the short post by Karate brat, but just commented here to ‘mark my presence’ 😉

    • June 13, 2010 3:15 am

      Ya i see ur mark of “P”‘ all over the place! 😆

      Wht r u trying to be like ‘Zorro’ now?

      Pal If u dont read it soon,i will feed u to ur own crocodiles !

      👿

    • June 14, 2010 7:43 pm

      @ Pal : Oh thats bad ! and insulting as well ! Hmmppphhhh !!!

      @ Rakesh : Oh thats bad ! and mean as well ! 😀 😀 😀

  16. June 12, 2010 3:34 pm

    Innovative post Rakesh!!! 😀

    Loved the Twitter portion the most 😀

    And nahiiin! for the mindless comedies of Priyadarshan!!!! Nahin Nahin Nahin!

    Psst!!! The love of your life is missing from the post bole to Hakla Khan!!! How come u have more imp to my Khan?? Ahhh!! U also love Sallu more than the Hakla Khan 😛 got it!!!

    Part 2 please!!!

    • June 13, 2010 2:10 am

      😀 😀 I just remixed ‘raavan’ na 😀
      Ya i agree..its high time he quit making remakes of every possible Malayalam movie there is.

      How can u say bad abt SRK ??
      u forgot everything ?
      pichle janam mein who donon bhai the!!
      You dont remember singing this song for them or wht?

      hehe.. i did like salman in Karan arjun and Chandramukhi 😀 😀 🙂

      • June 13, 2010 2:17 am

        • June 14, 2010 7:45 pm

          Smita, we arent responsible for any of the damage thats being done to dus packs waale khan !! what to do !! he deserves all the bashing that hes getting here ! 😀 😀 😀

  17. June 12, 2010 4:54 pm

    Hahahahah ROFLMAO!!!! * insert 3-4 yahoo rofl icon *

    Move over, Toilet Boy… you’ve got serious competition!!! I LOVED climax 3 where they all rot away in jail !!! Climax 2 had me in splits!!! Karate Brat, u need to write more guest posts!!! 😀 😀 😀

    waiting for the next half impatiently!!!

    • June 13, 2010 3:31 am

      😀
      Hey undakanni 🙂

      u r tweeting just like aish did in Climax 2..err..watch out for bears ok!

      Whts with u and yahoo Rofl icons? Satyam para ashwathy, aarengilum ‘yahoo Rofl icons’il kaivesham vacho? :mrgreen:
      Anyway,Let me call up the Yahoo guys to fix up this for ya 🙂

      Sorry if i continue here any longer the guest will become the ghost 😯

      Like my master Mr miyagi says “Patience Undakanni-san Patience!” 😀

      • June 13, 2010 8:42 pm

        The last line just went over my head… but its ok u are forgiven 😀 😀 😀

        Oh I simply love the yahoo rofl icon… its my all-time favourite so i insert it when I get a chance!! 😀 😀 😀

        • June 14, 2010 4:38 am

          hey 🙂
          Offcourse u should forgive me,im so nice n mean to everyone 😀

          Anyway, i will tell the yahoo guys to create a new yahoo ‘Undakanni’ icon just for u 😀 😀

    • June 14, 2010 7:49 pm

      I know !!! Ash, why are you so obsessed with that ROFL icon in yahoo ??? I can see you commenting in everyones also with this insert of yahoo ROFL icon !! 😀 😀 😀

  18. Warier permalink
    June 12, 2010 7:06 pm

    You will be a G8 writer in up coming years …………… 🙂

    • June 13, 2010 3:41 am

      Hey angel 🙂

      Well if the world does come to an end in 2012 as they say,thn i dont think i have much time dear 😦 sigh

      I just wish if i could meet up Adam sandler and do a movie with him before that happens!

      • June 14, 2010 7:50 pm

        Welcome to Vlokam and thanks for dropping in your comment.

        Your profile says Warier and he calls you Angel !!! Do you guys know each other by any chance ? If yes, then god bless you ! 😀

  19. June 12, 2010 9:28 pm

    Until I reached the space near ‘blog roll’ the story smelled of ‘Anniyan’ Vikram!

    Climax I: Aish is chasing you for telling the truth about how old she is looking now! Why are you after Govinda…he seems to be a saadhu maharaj after his failed political stint!

    Climax II and III: What an imagination! Amitabh is chasing you, not Mani Rathnam!

    Thank god, I don’t watch Priyadarshan movies!

    Jr. Bachchan’s tweets are already boring, how are Aish’s tweets, eh? More boring, I am sure or she has to copy her father in law’s tweets!

    Kettle? Atleast a long handled spoon would have sounded better!

    Next episodekku wait panrom, Brats! & Vimmuuu!

  20. June 13, 2010 4:19 am

    Smelly huh? well thts coz ‘Anniyan’ vikram didn’t wash his hair during that movie 😀 😀 😀

    I loved Aishwarya only in that movie called JEANS! After tht i just started to hate her 😀
    Govinda is just an actor ok..shhh he really doesn’t die…r u happy now?
    Amitabh chasing the Karate brat?? There’s no way he can catch me, coz i will just sneak away between his long legs and he wouldn’t even notice that i had escaped! :mrgreen:

    But not all of his movies r bad, Virasat(Kamal’s Thevar magan) and Kalapani were good 🙂

    Btw i dont use twitter tht much,and no way im goin to follow the Bachchan family!

    Why is everyone behind that poor kettle?? Is it like some sort of sacred kitchen object that women worship ?? 😯

    Nan ithe soliye aganum ,Neenga konjum wait panringa!

    (Phew thts the only tamil i know ,tht too after watching Varanam ayiram haha )

  21. June 13, 2010 9:25 am

    LOL!!!! 😀 … my god if Raavan will be having these climaxes… Then LOL!!!!
    Loved the 3rd one 😀

    • June 14, 2010 3:39 am

      🙂

      Ya if tht does happen,thn i guess i am dead meat! The Bachchan parivar and ambanis will hunt me down for leaking their story! 😀 😀

      • June 14, 2010 7:33 pm

        Not only dead meat…. they will make a movie on how to torture you…..
        The tortures of Karate Brat… (Part -1 and 2) and it will make to the oscars for sure…. 😀 😀

  22. June 13, 2010 5:29 pm

    Wow, I think I need to take a day off to read this 😛 Lemme come back when I’m not under files.

    • June 14, 2010 3:50 am

      I karate brat, hereby grant u a day-off ,so tht u can read this post!
      🙂

      Why r u covered under files Mr Rakesh?

      Hmm..me thinks thts a nice idea.I think , i should also try tht soon.
      So i just have to cover my head under those huge files and sleep while boss thinks im working hard :mrgreen:

      • June 14, 2010 1:52 pm

        Wow, nobody called me Mr. in a long time. For this very reason, this Respect, this… whatever, I read this post Right Now.

        he he… hubby is sleeping away to glory, LMAO – priceless, seriously…

        Can’t wait for the next few climaxes 🙂 :)) Unfortunately, there’ll only be 10.

        Hilarious.

        Btw, with so many climaxes, do you think Mani Sir was making a porno 😛

        • June 14, 2010 5:34 pm

          Ya…abt tht Mr. reference
          Tht coz,I have tremendous respect for people named ‘Rakesh’!
          :mrgreen:
          No i think mani is a decent guy,But if it was RGV who was making this movie,thn most probably 😉 hehe

          • June 14, 2010 6:15 pm

            The respect is Mutual for people named ‘Rakesh’ 😀

  23. June 13, 2010 8:12 pm

    The fourth one was the best… I mean till now. May be you can also look at having a song sequence just before the climax like ‘Jai maa kaali……..’ or make the climax itself with a song. Act fast, before any Telugu producer happens to glance on this comment 😉

    Destination Infinity

    • June 14, 2010 3:57 am

      Hahahaha!
      Not a bad idea! I will add the song only if u promise to choreograph it for me!
      We can add a ‘Jai maa kaali’ remix 😀 😀

      I have already hanged up vimmuus pic on this blog to ward off evil spirits & telegu producers! So relaax DI,ur comment is safe n sound

      😀 😀 😀

  24. June 13, 2010 9:22 pm

    Present Vimmuu and Brat sir! 😀
    reading the post now! First, on such posts, comments need to be read first!! :mrgreen:

    Off to read the post now!

    • June 14, 2010 4:07 am

      Hey pixie 🙂

      I hope vimuu saar cleared ur ‘Wonder woman’ doubt 😀 😀 😀

      Err.. r u reading the story backwards or wht? hehe
      So how come u never came back after u flew off to read the post like Wonderwoman?
      sigh 😐

      • June 14, 2010 1:37 pm

        Ahem! wonderwoman!! 😀 😀

        I loved this! My fave climax was Govinda being dressed up like Aish!
        I keep imagining that and it makes me laugh everytime!!!!! 😀 😀 😀
        😆

        Oooh and Twitter updates!! hehe!!

        I thought I had commented! But, it looks like I didn’t! 🙄

        • June 14, 2010 5:24 pm

          Well now u have 🙂
          Haha

          I think Govinda did act like that in one movie called ‘Aunty No.1’
          😆

          • Pixie permalink
            June 14, 2010 8:51 pm

            oh yea!
            Gosh! he really looked ugly!! 😀 😀

  25. June 14, 2010 12:45 am

    LOL! That was one laugh riot of a post! Karate Brat should do more such posts here 🙂

    I can’t stop laughing!

    • June 14, 2010 4:17 am

      😀 😀 😀

      Vimmus gonna kick me out, as soon as he returns 😀 😀
      Im just having fun while he is away ..muhahaa

      Smitha, me thinks u might have accidentally inhaled Nitrous oxide,that could explain the uncontrollable laugh syndrome 😀 😀 😀
      Jokes apart, Thnx a lot for comment,Felt great 🙂

    • June 14, 2010 3:03 pm

      Yes yes I’m with Smitha..Bratu should be doing more such posts here so that Vimmushthan knows there is a LOKAM beyond bathrooms, toilets & kooda-dabbas 😈

      • June 14, 2010 5:18 pm

        Haha..Arey, He does know that …Its just tht his ‘V-Lokam planet’ only revolves around bathrooms 😀 😀 😀

        Now i should start packing n leave before Vimmu comes n kicks me out of here… hehe :mrgreen:

  26. June 14, 2010 1:12 am

    To all,

    If you have time, please read from the below link and sign the petition.

    http://humanrights.change.org/petitions/view/ensure_human_rights_protection_of_a_minority_rape_victim_in_pakistan

  27. June 14, 2010 1:19 am

    firstly *applause*

    secondly, lol@ “Take that Priyadarshan, even I can make mindless comedies!”

    thoroughly enjoyed reading this 😀

    and is there a climax where :
    scene 1 : abhishek kidnaps Aish.
    scene 2 : Abhi and Aish are rock climbing; suddenly they slip and fall into the water (song played- “behne de mujhe”) and then die.
    The End

    this way Mani ratnam can spare us the 3 hour torture.

    • June 14, 2010 4:32 am

      Firstly *The brat make a Karate Bow to the applause* :mrgreen:
      Secondly*Jumps in joy* 😆
      Thirdly* 😯 *

      How come i didn’t find this page in that diary? Don’t tell me, Godd!! u were there too??
      i mean, to steal the same diary???? huh??
      👿

      So tht explains the torn page in the diary 😀 😀

  28. June 14, 2010 12:58 pm

    ROFLLL..this was hilarious,Bratu!! Your blog-exile did wonders to your creativity,have to tell you..you’re back with a bang bang boom!!

    Enjoyed all the climaxes, climax 2 particularly cracked me up 😆

    Looking forward to part 2..now please for Valmiki’s sake dont take another year to bring it out 😛 😛

  29. June 14, 2010 1:50 pm

    The best is the pun abt Priyadarshan …. tee hee hee 😀 😀 😀

  30. Sundararajan permalink
    June 14, 2010 3:17 pm

    The post must be a result of Tamil Cinema casting its spell on the author !! Anyway congrats for various possibilities of climax. But be aware !! Copyright it soon less we may have to see a number of pictures based on the post.

    a href=”http://www.workathomeforum.in”> Work At Home In India </a

    • June 14, 2010 5:09 pm

      Hi Sundararajan 🙂 Welcome to Vimmuuus V-lokam!

      Haha..Actually watching too much TV & cinema as a kid spoiled me i guess 😀
      Oh really?? they r planning to make a movie on this,huh?
      But for tht,first they will have to get past my Crane kick!!
      hiyaaa…hoo–hhaa–yabaa!!

      • June 16, 2010 9:18 pm

        Sundar rajan, its your first time here and Im really sorry for making you go through all this trouble 😀 😀 😀

  31. deepa permalink
    June 15, 2010 7:22 am

    Bratu, check your blog

  32. June 15, 2010 4:25 pm

    Karate brat and Vimmu, congrats for giving a new feel and meaning to the word..Bakwas…
    You know guys, this bakwas had so much creativity..it could be called a spark of genius!
    The tweets, the Salman and Govinda angle..wow..please thala veliyill kannikalle…vellorum tati kondu pokum!

    • June 15, 2010 5:04 pm

      Thank you for ur ‘Bakwas’ comment! 😀 😀

    • June 16, 2010 9:16 pm

      Oyy Brat, be nice to the people here !! 😀 😀 😀

      Sindhu, guess you havnt watched the recent flicks of Akshay Kumar, he had already given the new meaning of bakwas with those movies 😀 😀

      ok, thala kaanikkunilla…we both will walk like ostriches from now on ! 😀 😀

  33. June 15, 2010 5:28 pm

    That was real good. LMHO!

    So, what r the other climax depictions of MR. Waiting. post it soon.

  34. June 16, 2010 11:53 am

    ROFL. Thank God I didn’t read this the day you posted it. Now i get to read both parts together!
    Rakesh, man, you rock!! 😀

    • June 16, 2010 7:26 pm

      Oh!

      You could have waited to see if we r posting the 3rd part na,the u could read all the 3 parts together

      😀 😀 😀
      Hey told call me a rock! 😦

      Hehe..anyway im glad tht u finally read it 🙂 thnx for ur support 😀

      • June 16, 2010 7:28 pm

        err i meant dont call me a rock! infact u can call me ‘Skeleton rock” if u want..
        Tht sounds more cool..Dont u think?! 😀 😀

  35. Agson permalink
    June 17, 2010 3:12 pm

    Excellent work! Keep it up!!

  36. June 17, 2010 9:13 pm

    Congrats for the award…for this post and the next!

  37. June 18, 2010 5:00 pm

    enjoyed th read.but failed to understand the intention..if there was any.. 😛

  38. June 23, 2010 1:52 pm

    Wow.. Such a hilarious post.
    Duss packs wala was too good! 🙂 Congrats on being picked by BlogAdda!

    Btw I have s a joke which I will share in part 3 (even I can comment in 3 parts no?) LoL.

    • June 25, 2010 5:19 pm

      Haha 🙂
      Hello lost world person 🙂 How are the dinosaurs at ur lostworld? 😀 😀

      Thnx 🙂

      Ya cant wait to hear ur joke..sure..u can comment whatever u want!
      🙂

      • June 26, 2010 10:24 pm

        All the dinosaurs are @ my blog.. If you find them, let me know !

        By the time I read part 3, I forgot the joke..Seriously 😦 I know it was something to do with the translation of the song ‘behne de’ .. (give me sisters)! heehee..

  39. June 25, 2010 8:05 am

    ROFTL..Wow!! I esp loved the Twitter Cimax..hehe!! Loved this!! 🙂

    • June 25, 2010 5:22 pm

      Now get off the floor & read the next part 😀 😀 😀
      Haha..Im glad u liked it 🙂

  40. August 18, 2014 4:34 am

    all the time i used to read smaller articles that as well clear their motive, and that is
    also happening with this post which I am reading now.

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