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Guest Post : Raavan – A ‘Leaked’ Story (Part 2)

June 15, 2010

First of all, let me thank Blog adda for choosing the first part of this series as one of their Spicy Saturday Picks. I hope, the lazy bugger that Rakesh is, gets some motivation out of it and starts blogging on his own. Well, here is part two and there is something for you all to do at the end of this post. Read on :

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Continued from Part 1

Rakesh grabbed a kettle from the table and proceeded towards the door.

He slowly opened the door and was shocked to see a person wearing a Khakhi uniform. Rakesh made up his mind to flee; he rushed inside to get the diary from under his pillow and opened the window to jump when……..

“STOP!!” shouted the person from behind catching hold of his shirt.

“Saaar!! You didnt pay the rickshaw fare!! I was waiting downstairs all this while!”

Rakesh: What? Damn you scared the hell out of me! Ok how much is it? And give me a bill with it! okay!!

After the rickshaw wala left the room, he continued reading the diary….

Climax 5

During the battle, both Vikram and Abhishek realizes that neither of them is going to win. Then, as they both fall down exhausted, Vikram notices a butterfly tattoo on Abhisheks shoulders.

Vikram : Dude, did u happen to get lost during Ayodhya Mela by any chance?

Abhishek : whaat?? How did you know? Actually, I was raised by hippies and my Hippie grandmother who died of drug overdose told me before her death that she found me wandering in Ayodhya Mela with a lollipop.

Vikram : I lost my little brother during that Mela, and he had the exact same tattoo. That’s means you are my….BHAAAIII !!!!

Abhishek : BHAAAIIII !!!

and they hug….. aawwwwwwwww…..

Abhishek : Dude, I am really sorry about Aish. Come, I will take you to her!

As soon as Vikram sees Ash, he opens his arms for a hug.

But Ash is now confused as she started loving Abhishek too. The three then decide to flip a coin and decide.

Vikram flips the coin which lands near Govindas foot.

After seeing the ever ‘Karishma-tic’ Govinda, Ash is once again in confusion !

And so they start ingey, pingy, pongy……

“An open ended climax for my audience to decide!”

THE END

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

Climax 6

Vikram after a long battle defeats Abhishek and saves Aishwarya. As soon as they start returning back from the jungle, Vikram gets stabbed by Govinda.

Nope Govinda is not the real ‘Hanuman’!!! (Twist in the tail, I mean, tale !)

He is infact the real ‘Raavan’ dressed up as Govinda!! The other ‘Raavan’ was an imposter!

THE END

“I always knew watching all those Abbas-Mustan movies would finally pay off!  The audiences will love it just like how they loved the twists in ‘Race’.  Even if they don’t like it, I don’t care. Reliance is paying for this movie, I get to decide whom I kill!”

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Climax 7

Vikram defeats Abhishek in a duel. He takes out a knife to stab Abhish……..

“Wait, I am getting a call from Priyamani. I wonder what she wants at this late hour.”

Priya: Mani Sir, Mani Sir, it’s not fair. I heard they have released a song trailer for our movie and I am not in it.

Mani: Yeah, the promo song!

Priya: Mani Sir, Mani Sir, you know, na? This is my big bollywood movie. I am really worried about my career, Sir. All my films down south where I appeared in minimal clothes bombed. I know it’s too late, but can you still try and squeeze a little more screen space for me, Sir? Please Mani Sir.

Mani: Hmmm..let me think about it!

After Priyamanis call – “for those who think my movie is all about serious stuff, here’s some masala for the aam junta !”

Priyamani makes an entry from the waterfall in a bikini, Vikram is dumbstruck seeing her. He can’t stop ogling at her; he decides to make truce with Abhishek. He drops the knife and asks Abhishek if he can take his sister along with him.

Vikram : Whoa!! Sexy lady! She is damn hot man ! I need her!.

Abhishek : Ok buddy, here’s the deal, you take my sister and I get to take your wife, isn’t that fair enough? Don’t cry for both the girls! and btw, that was really mean of u guys to cut off her nose like that. I mean, what were you guys thinking?

Vikram : Sorry about that ! I apologize on behalf of my brother, Nikhil!.

Abhishek : Anyway, thank god for her nose job and all her other jobs, she is perfectly ok now. But, I had to pay a fortune for her hospital bills. And on top of it, I have to get her married also. Now, you know why I turned into a terrorist !

Vikram : No wonder she is a ‘Bomb’. (ARRs song ‘Behenn do, Behenn do, Behenn do, mujhe Behenn do’ fits here)

Abhishek: Okkkk dude, stop it ! Just take her and leave, will ya?

Vikram walks with Priyamani into the sunset; Abhishek walks with Aishwarya in the opposite direction – both in one frame.

THE END

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Climax 8

Vikram defeats and kills Abhishek only to find his wife and his own brother missing.

After a long silence Vikram says:

“I knew I shouldnt have left those two play rangoli together with his ‘lakshman rekha’ thingy while I was away”

Vikram, all depressed, goes to a pub and over there, he watches Mallika ‘Hiss’erawat (in a cabaret cameo) performing a snake dance—‘maiyaa…..maiyyaa…..sita tho gayya gayya….mere saiyya saiyya…..’

He goes home and sends a facebook friend request to her. The next morning, when he checks his account, he finds that Mallika has accepted his request.

Vikram is finally shown smiling and blushing in the movie.

THE END

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Climax 9

Abhishek surrenders during the final battle with Vikram. Both of them decide to settle the issue over a cup of Koffee with  Karan. Abhishek, then takes Vikram to the place where he hid Aish.

Over there, they find Aish sleeping with the actor playing ‘Kumbhkarna’ ! (Sleeping as in literally and nothing else)

They close the door and come out :

Vikram : Sheesh. So much for all the fighting we did. Hey, you know what? Did any one tell you that you look so sexy in that mud pack?

Abhishek: aww..you think so? and I just couldn’t stop staring at your handle bar moustache. That distracted me a lot during our fight 😀

Vikram : awww….

They both hugg !!

Vikram : So, what say sweetheart, lets ditch that stupid lady and get married 🙂

Abhishek : No no, we will need her. This society will never accept us and we need to stay somewhere, right? We will convince Ash to share her apartment with us, you know, just like in that movie ‘Dostana’.

Vikram and Abhisheik get married soon and they lived happily ever after !

“Oh crap, now I need to find an actor for the Kumbhkarna role. Hmmmm…..got it. ‘Emraan Hashmi’. Theres no one in the industry today who can ‘sleep’ better than him. Moreover, in this role he doesnt even have to open his mouth!”

THE END

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Climax 10

As soon as news spread about Aishwaryas kidnapping, all the loved ones men in Aishs life gathered for a search party to the jungle. The search party then reaches a dark isolated cottage near the waterfalls, when they hear a loud eerie wailing cry of a young girl!

(Then the screen goes black for a while! Suddenly, a phone rings on the screen (making sure the audiences are scared by giving a DTS effect from the rear speakers)

Jaya Bachchan (Vikrams mother in the movie) takes the call. She is informed about a bad news and that she has to reach the Dirubhai Ambani hospital urgently.

The police inform her about the tragic deaths of the search party. They inform Jaya that her daughter-in-law wasn’t what she appeared to be. She got possessed by one of ghosts in the jungle. And she kills whoever gets close to her.

A doctor from behind continues : “From our research, we have found she kills and eats only the heart of people who loved her while the others who were killed by her still had their hearts intact. Your son Vikrams heart, by the way, is still there, but I will show you the rest of those heartless corpses!”

He takes her to the morgue and reveals the 4 dead bodies.

She sees one by one – First Salman, second Vivek , third Abhishek and then…

Jaya notices the familiar looking toes of an unusually long legged corpse lying next….

She unveils the cloth and shouts “you Ch%^&^&@  sulphate!!”

(BGM of a song from ‘Abhimaan’, remixed by ARR, plays until the credits appear)

THE END

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Rakesh after reading the diary, kept it under his pillow and got up to drink water.

Meanwhile at the Reliance Headquarters, the Ambani brothers, Anil & Mukesh got together after a long time for the current crisis. After much discussion and a few sessions of sumo wrestling, they finally put aside their differences and decided to start the negotiation talks with Rakesh.

Rakesh heard his phone ring; he knew the call was from Ambani. Rakesh tries to pick up the call, but it stops; rings and stops again. Rakesh grunts to himself, “What the hell!! That miser!! and dials back.

Mukesh : Hello Rakesh, this is Mukesh. Thanks for calling me back. I had no balance. By the way, you are on speaker phone now and I have my br…

Rak (interrupts) : Whatever! Just give me my Reward – my Diwali Tea Set, that too in front of all my ex colleagues!

Mukesh: Listen Mr.Rakesh, Emp no : 1200420, right? Before we start anything let me be clear on one thing, I dont negotiate with terrorists!

Rak : I am not a terrorist. I am just asking you which rightfully belongs to me.

Anil: You idiot! Do you realize that you are threatening the wrong Ambani here? It was me who is producing ‘Raavan’ not Mukesh!! If you had a problem with Mukesh, why did you have to steal MMYYYY script??

Rakesh: Okay who the hell are you?

Anil: Its Anil Ambani speaking you idiot!!

Rakesh: Really? Hmmm..you know what, I dont care who you are. I just need my tea set promised by Reliance!

Anil: Do you think that you are going to get away from this so easily?

Rak : As a matter of fact, I can! Listen you brothers, I know that Mr. Mani relies on this diary since he doesn’t have his script written anywhere else and so, to complete the movie, you need this diary. And besides, you can never trace me in Cochin!

Mukesh: Rakesh, before you speak further, I have a detailed work record of yours during the course of your time with us! It says here that you were the laziest employee in the history of my company! You were caught many times on various occasions sleeping at work. And it also says here that you were accused of producing false medical and food bills.

Rak : Those aren’t fake Mr.Ambani. Prove me wrong.

Mukesh : Your bill says you had Butter chicken from Saravana Bhavan!!

Rak : What is with you? I cant even eat an …er..organic chicken?

Mukesh : Yeah right, ‘Organic’ butter Chicken in Saravana Bhavan, a renowned pure vegetarian joint!! And theres more; you have even produced medical bills for Horse Tranquilizers. Why the hell did you need those for??

Rak : Oh god, What more do you have? Btw,  I have an autorickshaw bill to reimburse. Can I send it to you tomorrow?

Mukesh : You dont work with us anymore Rakesh! How can you…oh, never mind. Werent you involved in the commissioning of that petrol pump in Thumbur? We have video footage of you smoking inside the server room, which ultimately caught fire due to your negligence and according to your final commissioning report, the explanation that you gave was that a ‘mad chimpanzee’ was smoking?

Let me summarize this for you Mr.Rakesh- Your negligence in work and your never ending submission of fake reimbursement bills led to the downfall of our companies share prices and I had to shut down the operations!!YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY COMPANIES DOWNFALL IN 2009 and you are blackmailing me because you still want that freaking Diwali Tea Set ??????

Rakesh pauses for a while and replies : “YES” and then continues, “Mukesh sir, you still have a chance to set things right between us. Everyone that year got a tea set for Diwali, except me. My best friends wedding is coming up and I need this cup set to gift him. You give me the tea set or else, I will publish these climaxes in some blog and ruin your movie. You must have heard about the Fake IPL blogger who totally sabotaged the team morale of one of the teams during that IPL tour. Well, there is this blogger called Vimmuuu who is more dangerous than that blogger. He is notorious for his toilet jokes and one mention about these scripts on his blog, you are doomed! Muhahaha!

Anil: Gulp! What if I give you alternative offers? You know like Life time Reliance-Reliance night calls free from 10pm-11pm?

Rak : But, I sleep at 9pm. Nope, wont work for me !

Anil : Reliance Dish TV connection with only Doordarshan Bihar?

Rak : No !

Anil & Mukesh : Do you want Hrithik or Sachin? Because, we kinda own them now?

Rak : hmmmm…[thinks for a while]..ok, here’s the deal. I am ready to oblige, if you can get me Barbara Mori serving me tea in that particular tea set?

Anil: Dude, I can’t!!!

And he bursts out crying!

Anil : Let me be totally honest with you man. I lost everything I had. I invested all my money on ‘Kites’ and it flew away without any trace along with my money and now I am almost bankrupt. I am depending on Raavan to clear off all my debts. The truth is, I can’t even afford your tea set anymore. Damn, I don’t even have balance in my phone.

Continues crying!

Mukesh: And I am still trying to recover from the losses from last year since your last reimbursement!

Rak : Blah blah blah blah blah!!! Call me back in 10 minutes or else, this will appear in Vlokam !!!

After 10 minutes Anil tries giving Rakesh missed calls again from his Reliance phone. But his call doesn’t get through. —Network problem…Thank You for using Reliance Telecom— Soon after hearing this, Anil loses his cool and throws away the phone through the window and starts cursing his company, banging his head against the wall!!!

Anil then shouts at Mukesh : “Damn you Mukesh, you & your stupid Reliance. Never ever give Diwali gifts to anyone, you understand !!!”

And thus another round of Sumo wrestling begins at the Reliance house.

THE END

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Well, this Karate guy went on and on with his imagination and somewhere I had to stop him from writing. Actually, this is not the end. There is more to it; there is a small role for me and even SRK and Karan Johar appears in the series in major roles. Now, you tell me, if you guys want to read the extended climax of this bizarre post or if this is enough ! Take the poll below and help us to help you 😀 😀 😀

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192 Comments leave one →
  1. June 15, 2010 8:33 pm

    Ha Ha…where from did you get these climaxes…. 😀 😀 Lol!!!

    • June 16, 2010 5:34 pm

      Ha ha..That means u haven’t read the first part 😉 hehehe

      • June 16, 2010 9:23 pm

        LOL Rakesh !!! yeah, shilpa, you didnt read the first part is it? Its mentioned in that where Rakesh gets the climaxes from !! 😀 😀

  2. June 15, 2010 8:59 pm

    he he… The most OSUM is the climax of this story itself…

    I’ve voted 🙂

    Btw, this reminded me of my Satyam post, somewhat similar as well… No wonder, we both geniuses share the name ‘Rakesh’ 😀

    • June 15, 2010 10:10 pm

      Yup and bcoz of the namesake we the readers are put through double torture 😥

      • June 16, 2010 7:42 pm

        baaah..u r just jealous coz of our super-cool’ name! 😈

      • June 16, 2010 9:24 pm

        Tell me about it !!! I have three Rakeshs !!! One Karate Brat, one Dubai Brat, and one Ooty Brat !! 😀 😀 😀 I hope the three arent reading this ! 😀 😀 😀

    • June 16, 2010 7:41 pm

      Thnx for voting..! With all your votes,i can finally fulfill my dream of becoming a corrupt blogger! hehe

      And i totally agree with ya..All the Rakesh’s in the world are awesome super-cool intelligent people!

      Will chk ur story soon man 🙂

      • June 18, 2010 8:08 pm

        Saw the movie yesterday… Rakesh, what have you done? Please return the diary to Mani Ratnam and ask him to choose from one of these climaxes. In absence of these, the movie is so pathetic. At least, we could’ve had a few laughs if he would’ve stuck to 1 of these climaxes…

        • June 18, 2010 10:00 pm

          Haha..haha..
          Only if he gets me back my Tea set!
          :mrgreen:

          Im yet to see Raavan,Mr Rakesh…Im goin for it tmrw
          😀

  3. June 15, 2010 9:05 pm

    ROFL, Karate Brat…am mighty impressed at the free run of the horses of imagination…fantastic…even Mani ratnam wouldn’t have thot of such climaxes… 🙂

    Dostana..Cash…you’ve not let anything slip by…

    Imran Hashmi…LOL !!!

    Vikram and Abhishek get married….I am just not able to stop laughing…. 😆

    Karismatic Govinda…laughing still…

    Priyamani..another fantastic pun…

    Whaat ??? All these for a tea set ??? U shld be kidding !!! Anyway, let the Ambani’s break their head…its the tea set u want..go on and get it. 🙂

    Congrats on the Spicy Saturday Pick. 🙂

    Waiting for the one with SRK and Karan… 😉 What all Koffee its going to spill…..

    • June 16, 2010 7:45 pm

      Now u know why i need those ‘Horse tranquilizers’ hehe 🙂
      Thnx a lot..Im happy to know tht u liked it.. 🙂
      Are u sure u want the 3rd part? Haven’t i tortured u guys enough?
      haha 🙂

      • June 17, 2010 9:29 pm

        Torture it is…but sure is fun…come on, waiting for that SRK part…. 🙂

        Just wanted to ask you – do u or did u work with Reliance ??? Did they refuse a bonus or diwali nuts and sweets box to you ????? 😉

  4. June 15, 2010 9:37 pm

    Damn hilarious man!!!! Loved it. Even the filmmaker wouldn’t have thought there was this much scope for the movie 🙂
    Btw, that tussle with the wrong Ambani was a knockout 🙂 So was the ‘reason’ for wanting the tea set… to ‘gift it off to someone else’ – ROFL!!!!

    Definitely looking forward to Part III.

    • ranjith permalink
      June 15, 2010 9:48 pm

      Cool 🙂 You have enough creativity to try ur hand in the Malayalam Film industry.. How about a remake of Raavan starring Mohan Lal and Mammootti 😛 😛 😀

      • June 15, 2010 9:59 pm

        omg!!! dont give him ideas!! 😯

      • June 15, 2010 10:53 pm

        I dont mind 😉 But only one problem!

        Avarude prayathinu otha ‘Sita’ iniyum janichitilla magane!

        • June 16, 2010 12:00 am

          prashnam illalo .. if Mohanlal could act w/ Bhavana in Sagar alias jacky .. then Sita should be no problem at all!

    • June 15, 2010 10:11 pm

      Pal I think he wanted that Tea Set to gift Vimmu on his wedding. All this is a joint venture I tell ya :mrgreen:

    • June 16, 2010 7:48 pm

      @ Pal
      Thnk God !u read it this time,instead of just marking ur ‘presence’.
      Well if want part 3 ,u will have to vote first!
      😉

  5. June 15, 2010 9:49 pm

    dont do … dont do … SRK de koode kalli vendaaaa

  6. June 15, 2010 9:57 pm

    Hyuk hyuk hyuk !!! :mrgreen: :mgreen: * Insert 20 yahoo-rofl icons here *

    I KNEW you wouldnt disappoint!!! 😀 😀 😀 That was stupendous!!
    Climax number 10 was the baap of all climaxes!! 😆

    And the conversation that follows that between u and Ambani brothers…. topped it all !!
    Butter chicken from Saravana Bhavan? Horse tranquilisers? Mad chimpanzee?? Reliance Dish TV connection with DOORDARSHAN BIHAR???? Ambani tries to call you and then gives you missed calls becoz his balance is low??? ROFLLLL!!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀

    I dont know from where you think of all the crackpot ideas!!! Simply mahvellous!! Stupendously brilliant!! 😀 😀 Fantastic! Amazing!! ..er.. I’ve run out of adjectives!! 🙄 😛 anywayz…

    Dude what are you waiting for??? I m actually waiting for the next part… whatever that is. And not just this… bring it on dude! All the craziness that one can handle… bring on all the nutty ideas!! 😀 😀 😀

    Applause for Karate Brat… no two words there! 😀

    • June 15, 2010 10:00 pm

      And all that for one miserable tea set… WHICH YOU WANT TO GIFT SOMEONE ELSE!!! 😐
      What a motivation!! :mrgreen: 😛

    • June 16, 2010 8:21 pm

      HAHAHA!! Dont praise me too much undakanni..im already in outer space now! 🙂
      Iyayyoo…u will also go loony like me then..and they will have to put u in a Straitjacket!
      Thnx a lot for ur support..Im really happy to know u guys liked it 🙂

      And hey its not just any tea set ,it was DIWALI isspecial Tea set ok :mrgreen:
      btw Did u vote?

      • June 17, 2010 12:58 pm

        jesus!! for a guy who writes with so much creativity ur sense of comprehension can be slow 🙄

        didnt u see what i typed? i m waiting for more… what do u think i wud have voted??!! 😛

        • June 17, 2010 2:04 pm

          Ya i guess so..hehe…Sometimes i feel my brain behaves more like a ‘Flickering Tubelight’ 💡

          :mrgreen:

          Ya i saw 😛
          🙂

  7. deepa permalink
    June 15, 2010 10:00 pm

    Bratuu … go chk ur blog … 1 more chance 4 ya

    • deepa permalink
      June 15, 2010 11:56 pm

      okk … 1 more chance

      • June 16, 2010 8:22 pm

        iyayaooo i surrender deepa chechi!! 😦
        can u plz tell me now?

        • June 16, 2010 9:29 pm

          Ok, now , time out !!! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING ????

          • June 16, 2010 11:16 pm

            Close your eyes Vimmu saar…not for innocent angelic ppl like you and me

            • June 18, 2010 10:07 pm

              nothings goin on..i just asked her where she was from..thts all
              🙂

              • June 19, 2010 4:14 am

                and I’m giving him clues to figure out where I am .. I am currently the mistress of languages, you see !

                Makes no sense right ? We are playing riddle-diddle-dee ….

  8. June 15, 2010 10:11 pm

    aweeesooooome stuff dude!! after this i have decided i dont need to watch the real movie… i wasnt going to anyway… dont want Ash to make money ..not from me at least!!!!

    • June 15, 2010 10:14 pm

      I can’t stop :mrgreen: at I don’t want Ash to make money……not from me at least!!!

    • June 16, 2010 8:25 pm

      Just close ur eyes whn aish shows up on screen na..hehe..u will have to watch the movie atleast for Mr.Vikram. Mani ratnam & Vikram is the only reason i want to watch Raavan 🙂
      Thnkuuu for ur aweeeesooomme comment ! :mrgreen:

  9. June 15, 2010 10:26 pm

    Hmmm let me see…you have taken on all the Bollywood stars, all the Directors from India’s head to toe, the entire silicon valley who supplies the extra body parts, Tattoo parlours, Hippies, Social networking giants, Reliance and the deadliest of them all – An enraged Woman who lost both her son and husband to the same woman *gulp*

    You are gone Bratu. As soon as possible write about one of those things that USA takes keen interest in and am sure a Fatwa will be issued in your name. Then the President himself will take quick measures to import you here. Ahhh think of all those hiking we all can go together to? You can make Qubus and sausages for me :mrgreen:

  10. June 15, 2010 10:27 pm

    “As long as you comment in my blog, it’s ok” errrrrrrrrrrrr how did you guys read our minds?? mrgreen: :mrgreen:

  11. June 15, 2010 11:58 pm

    i seriously suspect Shivaji was written by Vimmuuu hiding in Shanker’s toilet

    • June 16, 2010 8:38 pm

      naa ..i dont think so…Tht movie never had a script!
      Rajnikanth just walked and talked and the director just made a story around it!

    • June 16, 2010 9:43 pm

      oyy, now why are you dragging me into this ? 😀 😀 😀 and yeah, my toilet too ? 😉

      • June 21, 2010 7:16 pm

        aaah !
        look at the possessiveness about the toilet .. have seen guys possessive abt their bikes and girls .. but ze toilet !! 3 much !!!

        btw, day before , about 5 of us met … and we talked ONLY about toilets and toilet habits from 10 – 12.30 am in the night … thought of your posts then 😛

        • June 21, 2010 11:16 pm

          So thts wht women do from 10 -12.30!
          Thnk u for sharing this information with us Deepa!
          🙄

          • deepa permalink
            June 22, 2010 6:02 pm

            Arrey … when we have interesting characters like you and Vimmuuu to bring some laughs in our lives, cant help it 😀 😀

            Btw, Karate Kid, you still havent guessed … saw the ‘qn’ mark … and the hints Kanagu gave to you … (the hint isnt actually correct) …. but you can kinda go by it !

  12. June 16, 2010 1:16 am

    I have no clue what’s the actual story line of the movie is (but it doesn’t matter either 😉 :))
    But I loved the creativity and deep thought that went in coming up with TEN possible climaxes :mrgreen:

    I’d say the climax to the story itself was mind-blowing 😛 😛

    Have voted in the poll and I am waiting for the next part 🙂 🙂

    Now I exactly know whom to ask for suggestions, each time I get stuck with my fiction posts 😉 😉 🙂

    Keep ‘ em coming 😛

    • June 16, 2010 11:39 am

      u mean ten IMPOSSIBLE climaxes!!! :mrgreen:

    • June 16, 2010 8:40 pm

      Sure only if u promise not to charge me for my dental bills! 😀 😀 😀
      Btw do u watch Indian movies?

    • June 16, 2010 9:49 pm

      @ CB : Dont worry CB, one of these days, I shall mail you on what all this is about !! 😀 😀 😀 Im sure you wouldnt be able to figure out even then ! 😛

  13. June 16, 2010 12:03 pm

    ROFL. I think my dismissal letter is being typed right now…I’m sure we’re not allowed to fall off chairs laughing during office time!

    Oh My. Some imagination, man!!!

    “Twist in the tail” ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Want Part 3, want Part 3, want Part 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • June 16, 2010 8:48 pm

      Im sorry tht u got fired! 😦 i really am… we do have an opening of a campaigner for our Elections. Contact vimmuu if u r interested 🙂

      Anyway,Lets wait for the poll results,shall we? 😆

  14. June 16, 2010 12:04 pm

    ANd i think i’ll skip the actual movie. I’d rather have one of these climaxes happening (which am sure wont) 😀 😀 😀

    • June 16, 2010 8:50 pm

      Ahh..u may nevr know till June 18th!

      Hey i am not telling anyone to skip the movie.Watch it for Maniratnam & Vikram 🙂

  15. June 16, 2010 1:10 pm

    😀 😀

    Still reading! But, couldn’t miss the spot of being in the top 25 on this post!! :mrgreen:

    • June 16, 2010 8:51 pm

      er.. we r not giving away any prizes for Top 25…Maybe i will discuss with Vimmuu to give out a Booklet of toilet jokes 😀

    • June 16, 2010 9:53 pm

      Still reading kya Pixie ??? 😀 😀 😀

      @ rakesh : dude, that book isnt for sharing purpose !!! 😀

  16. Smita permalink
    June 16, 2010 1:42 pm

    You take a bill from an auto rick driver??? ROFL!!!

    And u r planning to take Emraan Hashmi in a sleeping role and don’t want him to open his mouth?? What a waste of talent I say 😀 😛

    I liked Climax 7 & 8 the most and I must say you surely have a twisted imagination 😈

    What twist in a tail oops tale with Ambani Bros!! And for what? a tea set?? 😆

    An awesome hilarious read I say!!

    Vimmuuu bugger! Learn something from your fren and think out of the box bole to bathroom 😀

    And a yes! for part 3 😀

    • June 16, 2010 9:06 pm

      I think Karate brat has already claimed for an auto bill from Kerala to Mumbai once! 😀
      EH??
      Well he is supposed to be ‘Kumbakaran’ na,so he is only supposed to open his mouth for eating!
      And by sleeping we meant only sleeping!!!This is a family blog/show ok!! :mrgreen:

      Can u care to explain wht u found so twisted in those climaxes? 😛

      Not just any Tea set Smitji..It was DIWALI iSSpecial tea set!
      Thnk u smitaji…i hope u forgave me for commenting bad abt ur God sallu! 😉

      Lets wait for the poll results! 🙂

      • June 16, 2010 9:24 pm

        Smitaji??????? 😯 ahem…you called her that only bcoz you are scared of what you wrote abt our Sallu bhai no? 👿

        @Smitha ROFL at think out of the box bole tho bathroom 😆

    • June 16, 2010 9:57 pm

      @ smita : your bathroom is like a box ???? thats all ??? u will be having tough times na? especially, at this phase !! 😀 😀 😀 😀

      I can see you are nice to Rakesh and as usual mean to me; but im glad you are nice atleast to some in V-Lokam !! 😀 😀 😀

  17. June 16, 2010 1:50 pm

    My God….so much effort..u should be scripting for movies..come over to my blog..have mentioned ur talent there!

    • June 16, 2010 9:07 pm

      No u havent! And thnx for ‘reading’!

    • June 16, 2010 9:54 pm

      Sindhu, you still havnt read the posts, na? even the title of this post ??? 😀 😀 😀 😀 Its a guest post and its not my creation !!! 😀 😀

      Btw, thanks a lot for the mention !

  18. June 16, 2010 2:03 pm

    Karishma-tic … ha ha ha … soooper brattu 😛

    • June 16, 2010 2:06 pm

      ARRs song ‘Behenn do, Behenn do, Behenn do, mujhe Behenn do’ fits here … lol this part is a riot 😉

      Its gonna be the spiciest Saturday pick 😛 😛

      • June 16, 2010 6:34 pm

        LOL Climax 9 is classic 😉

      • June 16, 2010 9:09 pm

        🙂 iyyo its wednesday na

        • June 17, 2010 2:19 pm

          Cmg Saturday :grrrr

          best friends wedding is coming up and I need this cup set to gift him – Ws this b4 Bathroom hero’s wedding 😉

          • June 17, 2010 2:26 pm

            haha..Noo…
            I can clearly remember not giving him anything!
            well except for tht cute pic of an angel bart!
            😉

    • June 16, 2010 9:08 pm

      Oh u love karisma huh? 😀 😀

      • June 17, 2010 3:34 pm

        Eeks! U do 👿

        • June 18, 2010 4:24 pm

          Btw, I voted for that last option 👿

          Nyways, u dnt comment on our blogs! And then complain abt NaBloPoMo huh 😉

          Vimmuuu is gud that way .. he leaves meaningful comments on posts 🙄

  19. Warier permalink
    June 16, 2010 4:15 pm

    Great work 🙂 Keep Going…… God Bless You 🙂

    • June 16, 2010 9:11 pm

      Go where? 😛 God bless u too & God bless Vlokam!

      • Warier permalink
        June 16, 2010 9:18 pm

        Anywhere you want …… But come back to us if u get time 😉

        • June 16, 2010 9:58 pm

          Ok Karate and Warriors, now whats this all about ?? 😀 😀

          • Warier permalink
            June 16, 2010 10:11 pm

            Paranju tharilla 😉

          • June 18, 2010 10:15 pm

            Athe paranju thrathilla 😉

            We Karate brats & warriors have a secret international code of communication 😛

          • June 21, 2010 7:20 pm

            heh heh … too many people using ur blog for their own chats huh ???? 2nd time i’m reading this ow whats this all about ?? comment from u .. ayyyooo pavam !

  20. June 16, 2010 5:02 pm

    Truly fun to read. Loved the way the writer has formed, linked and presented the narrative!

  21. June 16, 2010 8:53 pm

    Present saar 😉

  22. June 16, 2010 11:32 pm

    Did you guys realize that you are inches away from making a super melodramatic movie from just these two posts? Add some of Vimmuuu’s bathroom tales to it and it could be something of a sizzler!

    And when it is all over, maybe you could get Reliance to promote it? Heck, what an idea Sirjee! 🙂

    • June 17, 2010 12:21 pm

      They could make a movie and upload it on You Tube and we will take care of the publicity – you can call it ‘Ravan sings the blues’. 😉

      Have you seen ‘Sita sings the blues’?

      • June 17, 2010 3:01 pm

        Haha..Cool!
        I will act and vimmuu will handle the direction and the songs! 😎

        No i havent seen tht IHM.But whoah it really looks cool,i have to check it out!Let me see if i can download it 🙂

        • June 17, 2010 9:44 pm

          err do you need a smart, cute, ravishing, soft spoken, decent heroine by any chance? 😎

          Ps: I refuse to sing songs running around trees with the Brat!!!!

          • June 18, 2010 10:22 pm

            In my movie there wont be any trees to run around! ..U do know na how crucial trees r for yakshis?

            So without tree No yakshi! Muahahahaha!
            👿

    • June 17, 2010 2:54 pm

      @Rakesh
      We will need more inches if we add Vimmuu into the equation 😀 😀 😀 😆
      Man u really think so?
      Do one thing get me the sponsors and i am game for a movie deal!:D 😀
      Thnku sirji
      🙂

      • June 17, 2010 11:09 pm

        Rakesh, are you kidding me? You’ll need a few tens of meters if you were to accommodate Vimmuuu into the equation! You don’t want to be generous do you?

        And, as IHM has rightly said, you make the movie and upload into YT and we’ll take care of the publicity bit!

        And hey, what do you mean Vimmuuu will act? You mean, he’ll be himself obviously? 🙂

  23. June 17, 2010 2:01 am

    I voted! yey.. 😀

    bwahahahahha whatte revenge tail err I mean tale it turned out to be. Me likes.
    the Abhimaan twist was like icing on the cake.

    • June 17, 2010 3:03 pm

      Hey shruthi 😛
      Thanku for voting!! yeahh!!
      Ya poor Jaya na! i actually feel sorry for her! 😦

  24. June 17, 2010 12:17 pm

    This post reminded me of Rajneeti. I have started buying Pink Chaddis for another campaign that will be needed once this post is read by Sri Ram Sene workers 😉

  25. June 17, 2010 12:23 pm

    Can Blogadda pick two post one after another, coming from the same blog??? This one deserves to be picked!!!!!!!!

  26. June 17, 2010 12:29 pm

    Hilarious,absolutely hilarious read, Bratu! I have voted..so make sure the third part gives us enough fodder to pull that Vimmusthan’s both legs and hair!

    LOL@ “the ever ‘Karishma-tic’ Govinda”.. that was too good!

    Oye, BTW, how dare you present Vikram as the lusty ogler!! The only reason I’m planning to watch both the versions is because it has the droolworthy Vikram! So Vikramne thottu kalikkarudu,manassilaayo Bratulaaaaa?? 😈

    Hats off to your creativity, Bratu..its a mindblowing post. I’m sure Mani Ratnam would be mighty proud of you 😀

    • June 17, 2010 3:24 pm

      Athusheri..so u want see me get beaten up by Vimusthan alle!Kollam 😯

      And tht ‘Karishmatic’ Govinda line was actually Mr vimmus creative input 🙂

      iyyayoo.. im also goin to watch this movie for vikram only.Arey since im making fun of evryone,how can i only spare him? tht wont be fair to the other actors na! 😀 😀
      Thnks a lot deeps 🙂
      ya i hope he doesnt kill me,whn he finds out abt this post! 😛 😛 😛

  27. Professor Bulgan permalink
    June 17, 2010 2:27 pm

    Rakesh i mean your fight on the principle of getting what you deserved not a penny more and not a penny less that to from a person with no character awesome bro this itself is a plot for Mani ratnams movie

  28. June 17, 2010 2:47 pm

    Hahaha…it had to be my ex boss for the 100th comment!what timing sir! 🙂

    Thank you sir!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀

    Sir i must say,those days at Reliance was one of the best times in my life!
    And i really miss the whole “master trainer” gang which included ‘Suresh Gopi’,’Asokan’,’Ahangari’,’Kayamkulam kochunni’,’Kasargod kadarbhai’ & our ‘Master trainer Hwang kwang’
    And u were our Dronacharya Mr Bulgan!The ‘bestesttttttt’ boss in the whole world!
    Im really honored sir,thnk you for commenting 🙂
    I must say tht was the most fitting comment to the whole story! 😀 😀 🙂 U rock sir!

  29. June 17, 2010 3:15 pm

  30. June 17, 2010 4:16 pm

    Vim, u r nt online kya?

  31. June 17, 2010 9:11 pm

    Rickshawala frightening Rakesh…good…had a good laugh!

    Just, yesterday, I saw Rajneethi and in that the lost BHAAAAI is recognised by a red cloth…I am fed up with this ‘lost bhaaaai’ tale…it is continuing from Dilip kumar, Amitaab’s era!

    I have heard ‘hinky pinky ponky…what is this ingi pinji ponji…which language is that…I don’t know the meaning of hinky pinky ponky too!

    Kadavule, Raavanana, Hanumanaa…Kaappaaththuda saameee!

    While carrying the python, ‘Hiss’eravat was just showing her teeth…her fear was visible in her eyes!

    Who is Nikhil…did I miss something?!

    So, you didn’t leave ‘dostaana’ too, eh?!

    Height of comedy: ‘Mukesh : Hello Rakesh, this is Mukesh. Thanks for calling me back. I had no balance. By the way, you are on speaker phone now and I have my br..’ hahaha…vimmuuu, you are incorrigible (what is the exact meaning of incorrigible, please tell me …suddenly this word came into my mind!)

    -do- ‘Mukesh : Your bill says you had Butter chicken from Saravana Bhavan!!’ my stomach is aching…after laughing so much!

    Still laughing reading the next lines, vimmuuu! And the voting machine works!!

    Tomorrow will read the other comments and laugh…can’t laugh anymore now!

    • June 17, 2010 9:51 pm

      Err sandhya one correctionu if you don’tku mind me butting my small butt in. This post is written by My Azeez Friend from Dubai Mr. Rakesh akka the belt less Bratu and not hamara pyaar bathroom raja Vimmu 😛

    • June 18, 2010 2:28 pm

      I thought the first part was by the ‘brat’ and this one is by vimmuuu! did a mishtake, I think! Mannippaayaaga, Rakesh!

      Maybe after reading such a loooooong post, I must have forgotten reading Rakesh’s name Saakshi (is the name right? I don’t mind you butting in, by the way!)

    • June 18, 2010 2:31 pm

      I loved both the posts of yours, Rakesh! Had to read by bits at home with lots of guests! Some of my relatives had a good time, reading your posts! Thank you!

  32. June 17, 2010 10:04 pm

    I loves this part much better than first part as my little hindi understanding capabilities helped me 😀 😀

    ‘Behen do Behen do’ part is classic 😀 😀

    and of all the climaxes I loved your conversation with A & M.. so much for a tea set 😯 🙄

    Next part SRK & Karan.. I know nothing about them… but still voted yes.. all public service.. you see 😀 😀

    • June 17, 2010 11:04 pm

      😆 at all public service…u said it best and simple Macha 😎

    • June 18, 2010 10:37 pm

      Hiii kanagu..Im glad i didnt disappoint u this time 🙂
      Dont worry abt SRK n karan, i guarantee there will be a familiar face for u 😉
      Thank u for voting! 🙂

  33. June 18, 2010 11:13 am

    Vimmuuu…yenpa…imaginationuku alavay illaya? What is this I wanted to read some nice short post after all the book I’ve been teaching, and you have made it a mile long? But must say you are very creative ! Will slowly read through each one when I get the strength!

    • June 19, 2010 11:40 am

      Indy, my dear, this post is not by Vimmuuu – didnt u notice that there are no bathroom tales in it ???? 😉

      BTW, this and the previous one are guest posts by Rakesh / Karate Brat…..

      • Indy permalink
        June 20, 2010 9:32 am

        Omg UMA ! I over looked this very vital point! Tch!

        Okkk !!! Now I see why Karate brat is plying me with songs to ensure his post is somehow read!!! HAhaha! :)))

  34. June 18, 2010 1:46 pm

    ♫ thaayum neeyae
    thandhayum neeyae
    uyirum neeyae
    uNmaiyum neeyae

    thoonilum iruppaan thurubilum iruppaan

    ♫ kodumai azhiththu vida
    kozhughai jeyiththu vida

    Sakthi koduuu!! Sakthi koduu!! INDY-ku sakthi koduu!! Atleast avalukku TITLE padikkiradukku konjam shakthi yaavadu kudu!

    ♫ Shakthi kodu!!! ♫ ♫ Shakthi kodu!!! ♫ ♫ Shakthi kodu!!! ♫ ♫ Shakthi kodu!!! ♫

    • June 18, 2010 2:24 pm

      Romba naalachchu, inda paattu kaettu, Kb! Nice.

    • Indy permalink
      June 18, 2010 7:38 pm

      Karate brat …What is wrong with all these kids these days…but even then ,thank you for the song!!! Yes, now maybe I can read the story version one two three…phew! No, maybe tomorrow!!! BTW actually loved the song! :)))

      • June 18, 2010 10:41 pm

        Haha.. 🙂
        Wht wrong with the kids? ? I dont know hehe

        Hey im ready to sing 7 more songs for u till u finish reading it 🙂

        🙂

        Hey havnt u hear Vimmus version of this song? Chk it out in V-mphony
        🙂

        • Indy permalink
          June 20, 2010 9:36 am

          Seven songs???? Can I make some requests of my choice???? Of course you will sing all of them for me nah? Thank you in advance! :)))

  35. June 18, 2010 6:42 pm

    the imagination is just superb…detailings..awesome..
    should get into scripting karate brat! nd lol to tht reply to shivaji movie – rajnikant just walked and talked! ROFL!
    one BIG doubt..y ‘guest blog?” y not such creations in his own blog???
    nd did vote for it…yesss yess for a 3rd part..
    haaan…thnk god u dnt abuse hrithik much. 😛 when u asked the question ‘do u want hrithik..my heart skipped a beat 😉

    • June 18, 2010 10:45 pm

      So u having fun reading the comments as well? haha 😆
      Hrithik..mmm.. maybe next time 😉

      Mmm..so u want me to go away here?? 😦 😦 sobs
      Actually it was vimmuus request 😀 😀

      Thnx for voting 🙂

  36. June 19, 2010 4:05 am

    Dearest Vimal,

    Do you think you can let me have this Bratu akka comment replying machine? I need someone like him to reply to comments on my poor malnourished blog. We can negotiate on the terms and conditions as per your wishes.

    regards,

    Damsel in Comment Distress

    Sakshi

    • June 19, 2010 11:35 am

      LOL, Sakshi…thats a real SOS….

      Please Karate Brat, you can be of valuable help to her…she has still not answered our comments which we wrote on her WW picture… 😉

  37. June 20, 2010 1:55 am

    what… !!!! so many climaxes and no mention of BIG B !! No mention of any Ghost who walks !!!!! no ???

    man you definitely need part 3 !!!!!!

    I loved that idea of going to the pub and listening to maiya maiya with that pretty lass dancing !!!!!!! 😛 😛 😛

    and next time you plan a climax… dont forget the South Indian Amitabh !!!!! RAJNIKANT !!!!!!!! 😛 😛 😛 😛

    you surely have some imagination !!!!!!!!!! to say the least !!!!! :mrgreen:

    • June 20, 2010 12:21 pm

      Ahemm…Me thinks “The Phantom” is getting too old for his skin tight Purple underwear costume 😀 😀 😀 Infact ,BiG B did appear in Climax No 3 & 10! 🙄

      Did u vote for part 3? hehe … i cannot proceed without the votes u see…hehe :mrgreen:

      Pub?? Err..aren’t u supposed to be a married man?I hope ur wife doesn’t see this comment!

      Rajnikant eh? Iyoo..I don’t want to mess up with him..i will deported out of the country by his fans 😦

      Thanx man 🙂 Oh Ghost who blogs! 🙂

  38. June 22, 2010 8:12 am

    Nice… especially the ‘lost bhai’ climax… you could have included one in Karan Arjun style…. ‘Tum ne kyon kaha bhag arjun bhag?’ ‘Kyonki pechle janam mein tum karan the our mein arjun’….. but for some reason these days i like watching such movies than the ones releasing now!!!

    Destination Infinity

    • June 22, 2010 8:49 pm

      Hahaha!Ya i should have!! haha! 😆 😆
      ya movies these days,terrible! 😦

  39. June 22, 2010 5:16 pm

    Just came to say ‘Hi’ Mr Vimuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  40. June 22, 2010 9:51 pm

    Oh my god! I missed this post, and now can’t stop laughing!

    Any of your alternative endings might have been more fun that the ‘real’ movie, from the look of it 🙂 I guess they should commission you to write the script the next time, Karate Brat 🙂

    Waiting for part three now 🙂

    • June 22, 2010 9:58 pm

      its already up 🙂

      Thanks smitha 🙂
      I saw Ravaan yesterday! I was totally confused & i didn’t know what exactly i was feeling when i came out of the theater!
      The “Lie detector test” dialogue which came towards the end ruined the whole movie for me!
      😦

  41. June 23, 2010 1:59 pm

    Since Raavan flopped, I think ManiRatnam should start releasing the movie with these 10 endings ..There’s a chance he might recover his losses! Maybe these huge losses are the reason behind the Ambanis calling it truce 😀

    • June 25, 2010 5:51 pm

      Haha..ya i guess so! 😛

      I dont think even with these 10 endings,the movie will recover its losses!
      If Maniratnam wishes to save his name & dignity,he should quit casting the bachchan family in his future movies
      🙄

  42. June 25, 2010 8:14 am

    Oh My GoD!! I am in splits, laughing!! Wonderfully entertaining 😀 Absolutely loved this!

Trackbacks

  1. Guest Post : Raavan – The Missing Tail (Part 3) « V-Lokam

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