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Guest Post : Raavan – The Missing Tail (Part 3)

June 22, 2010

Below is the poll result :

Only 33 votes; not so encouraging. Its hard to believe that people actually voted for the 3rd and 4th option. Karate brat is going to hunt down all those people who voted against the third part. You know what, this part is specially dedicated to all those 6 traitors and to those who never bothered to vote !!! and yeah, also for those who commented in both the parts without even reading them !!! Here goes :

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Continued from Part 1 and Part 2 :

June 11, 2010 8:40 pm; Location:Vimmuuus apartment, Chennai

The weather was very bad that night. It was raining heavily & Chennai hadn’t experienced such a thunder storm in years. Yet Vimmuuu managed to ride his bike and arrive home safely. But through out the ride, he was in a deep thought on what to post next in his blog. He was thinking of new ways on how to make more interesting articles now that he has run out of posts after his Europe travel series. As soon as he reached his apartment, he noticed that his main door was wide open! He also noticed some dirty foot prints spread all over the floor near his front door which continued towards the hall of his flat.

He thought to himself, “who could be at this late hour??”

Suddenly, he heard the sound of a glass break from the kitchen. He got inside the house and picked the heavy telephone directory from the table. As he approached the kitchen, he could feel someones hand on his shoulder. He was frightened ! But with all his courage, Vimmuuu turned behind. As soon he saw the ghastly dark figure totally drenched and covered in dark clay and mud, he started screaming like a girl.

“Who the hell are you?” he shouted. He continued, “I am really dangerous, don’t try to intimidate me!! On second thought, take whatever you want, just don’t kill me!!”

Then a white spark of light appeared from the dark figure which actually turned out to be big wide grin of white teeth!!

Rak : Dude,its meeee, Rakesh, Karate Brat.

Vim : What the? You scared the hell out of me man!! I thought you were in Dubai? What the hell are you doing here?

Rak : Long story man. Ok, can we sit and talk?

Vim : No, not with those dirty legs.

Rak : Oh shut up! Don’t teach me about cleanliness, you ruined two bathrooms in that French train while you were in Europe !

Vim : That wasn’t me. Oh, never mind !!

Rak: Ok. But dude you gotta listen to this !

Vim: If this is about one of your girl friends, please, I don’t want to!

Rak: You know that I am a big fan of your blog & toilet jokes. And I think that’s your USP Ever since you got married, your blog ratings have come down drastically; you used to get 400 comments before. But then once you started posting about your loo escapades and garbage pictures, the ratings have sky rocketed. Now what I realized from all this is that you got to raise the bar a little more. We need more & more toilet jokes!

Vim : Hmm! Not a bad idea! But before that, I have to ask you something. How did you get in? Was the main door open when you came?

Rak : Ya it was! By the way where’s your wife?

Vim: So, she really left, huh? A few hours back, she threatened me on phone that she would leave the house if I continue writing toilet stories in the blog. I said, I cant !

All of a sudden they hear someone knocking on their door,

Vim: who could that be??? And what’s that rattling voice I hear? What have you dragged along with you, u devil?

Kkkkkkkk…rrrr…Kkkkkk…rrrr…and the main door started sounding like a vibrating cell phone in silent mode.

As they opened the door, they found a familiar looking face lying on their doorstep stammering & shaking like a live wire!

Rakesh & Vimmuuu couldn’t believe their eyes……

Rak : Is that who I think it is?

Vim : That’s SRK!!….OMG why the hell is he dying in front of my house???

Rak : I think he is having some sort of a seizure; Wait let me get my Horse tranquilizer gun & shoot him!

Rakesh quickly fires 2 rounds of tranquilizers on his neck! After a few minutes, SRK regains consciousness & starts to talk.

SRK : Listen gentleman, Mmm..mma ..ma..Mr. Rakesh, Is it? I am here for a b.b.bubb..buba…business proposition. You s..sss..ssee, while I was on the w..w..w.wway to meet Mr. Mmm..mm..ma..Mani r..r..ratnam in the jungle, I happened to ss..s..s..see….

Vim : Oh before you continue sir, I have something important to tell!

Rak : Huh?..What is it man?

Vim  : I got a brilliant idea & now I have to go to the toilet!

Rak: Dude?? Don’t you want to speak to SRK? Its not everyday a celebrity shows up your doorstep !

Vim :Later dude! This is much more important than you think! Be right back!

Rak (to SRK) : So Mr., you were telling something?

SRK: I happened to see a half naked man covered in mud running away from his tent with something that appeared to be like that little diary your holding right now.

Rak: No this is not wht u think it is,This is just my Mathematics text book. I am preparing for my exam tmrw

SRK: C’mon, cut the k..k..k..k..crap man, I overheard everything you said to Ambani brothers in cochin man.

Rak: Oho..So you were following me, huh? Mr. Khan.

SRK : Oh it was simple; I just followed your auto & the trial of the dirt to your house! Listen Mr. Rakesh, Let me really honest with you. You do know that my new movie ‘Ra.one’ movie is under production. But apart from my twitter updates, we do not have an actual script for the whole movie. And moreover I had discussed with Mr. Ratnam regarding Red chilies’ keen interest in taking over the project. If you can check in that diary, you might even find a copy of the mail I sent him. And I guess everyone knows that I don’t allow anyone else to make a movie similar to mine. So would you be kind enough to hand over me that diary which contains the scripts NOW!

Rak: Ok. Now Let me check !

Rakesh opens the diary & finds a A4 sheet which is an email printout from Mr. SRK.

SRKs email read :

Dear Mani Sir,

As discussed, please find the changes in the script if you want Red Chillies to take over the rights of your movie:

  • The movie will be titled as Rahul. K from now on (K for  numerological reasons)
  • The tag line for the movie will be Rahul. K — Dussss..Dil…Waale!!
  • There will be a six pack song featuring me and Malaika, this time on top of a Jumbo jet.
  • K.Jo. for the first time will appear full time in the movie; playing the role of Hanuman.
  • We will cast Akshay Kumar as the hairy Jaambavan just to humiliate him.
  • I will be play both the hero and villain characters named Rahul & Raj and Kajol will play Sita, but she would be named Seema.
  • Arjun Rampal & Ritesh Deshmukh appear as monkeys along with K.Jo.
  • And the most important change, Rahul & Raj will play super hero & supervillian resp.

SRK : So what do you think about my vision?

Rak : With due respect sir, I think this is total BULLSHIT! But tell me sir, who will be directing this?

SRK : well, now that Farah Khan ditched me, I have decided we will go with my KJO

Rak : What the fish? Are you sure? Don’t you think this movie is way out of his bubblegum territory? Anyway, what makes you think I am going to give this diary to you?

SRK: Maybe after you hear this killer dialogue, which I wrote myself, might change your mind!

SRK dons his famous puppy dog eyes look and starts delivering his dialogue :

Zindagi mein kuch banna ho,  Kuch hasil karna ho,

Kuch jeetna ho, Toh hamesha apne dil ki suno,

Aur ager dil se bhi koi jawaab na aaye,

Tho apni aankhein band karke ,

Apni Maa aur Baba ka naam lo … aur kaho

: My name is Rahul and I am not a terrorist !!!

As soon as he finished his dialogue, Rakesh slapped him & slammed the door!

Rakesh: What a crazy idiot!

Rakesh, then, goes in search of Vimmuuu who was taking an unusually long toilet break. Rakesh felt something odd as he noticed some lights flickering from inside the half closed bathroom door. As he approached close to the door, he could see more bright lights flashing!

Rak : Dude, are you okay in there?

Vim : Yeah,yeah,I am alright. Come on in, the door’s open!

Rak :Dude, Are you crazy?? No way am I coming inside!

Then suddenly Vimmuuu opens the door and comes outside.

Vim: Whats the big deal man? Just hold this camera and get inside the bathroom!

Rak: Dude, eewww.. ..noo I cant do this!!

Vim: Dude, Just help me take pictures of the water closet!

Rak: What the hell? Why on earth are you taking pictures of the water closet?

Vim: Oh didn’t I tell you? You know, I think I should carryon my bathroom legacy and this toilet jokes to a whole new level. I am going to post 31 Toilet posts for the whole month, continuously! And it will be known as NaLooPoNa !! The abbreviation itself means ‘What if I go to the loo?” in Tamil. What say ?

Rak: Err..Okieee & why are you taking these pictures for?

Vim : These pictures are for the ‘Tragedy Thursdays’.

Rak: Man I think that’s a …err….wonderful idea & I have just the thing for you! I will be right back!

Rakesh quickly goes back to take a pen & then rewrites the title in Mani Ratnams diary as “Raavan-A ‘leaked’ story” on top of the diary & shows it to Vimmuuu.

Rak: Now, hold on to your breath!

Vim: I am; ever since you came in. What’s this man?

Rak : What you see in your hands is a special article on toilet jokes which I made just for your blog! So you can kick start your NaLooPoNa with my article!

As soon as Vimmuuus eye fell on the ‘leaked’ part in the title, he didn’t think much. He blindly gave Rakesh his wordpress account details and asked him to go ahead.

Vim : And, by the way, why was SRK here?

Rak: Oh he…..mmm..eerrr.. he left. He came over here to get some drugs from me for his ‘condition’!

Vimmuuu continued to take pictures for his Tragedy Thursday section while Rakesh begins typing the whole article on Vimmuuus laptop. After 10 mins.,

Rak : Finally, I am just a click away from destroying the Ambanis!! Muhahaha…Now all I have to do is press the publish button!

But before he could press the publish button the door belll rang at Vimmuus apartment!

“Can you get that for me, Man? I’m still kind of busy here. If it’s my wife, don’t tell her what I am doing!” shouted Vimmmuu from the bathroom.

As Rakesh opened the door he was surprised to see a shabbily dressed Anil Ambani in his innerwear and pants, waiting outside.

Anil: Rakesh Sir, I hope you haven’t published anything yet!

Rak : Well not yet! But I will, once I close this door!

Anil: No! No! Rakesh Sir, we have already accepted your demands! Here’s your Tea set like you asked for!

Rak : Wait a second, aren’t you forgetting something? Ahem!

Anil: Yes here’s Mr. K.K Kochunni, your ex-colleague whom we flew all the way from Kayamkulam.

Rak : What about my other colleagues? I clearly told you ALL my ex-colleagues right?

Anil: Do you have any idea why I am dressed like this?? That because I am totally broke now! You know, just to get the exact same piece of that Tea set, I had to pay a fortune to one of my ex employees. And your friend Mr. K.K Kochunni is charging Rs. 50,000 per hour to be over here. I already lost my House & Cars in this way!

Rak : Bahh! Whatever! And what about Barbara?

Anil: Sir, we couldn’t get Barbara.  We still haven’t been able to trace after she flew away with our Kites & Hrithik! But not to be disappointed Mr. Rakesh, we found a cheap, I mean, good replacement for her.

Rak : And who might that be?

Anil: Presenting you Miss Rakhi Sawant!

Rakhi Sawant enters the room & starts dancing!

Rakhi: Oye Aniji,Dancing keliya Mein Double charge kar doongi. (Oh Anil ji, I will charge double for all the dancing).

Anil: ok ok Rakhiji. Rakesh sir, You know what the best thing about Rakhi is? Her English is just like Barbaras; we won’t understand a thing! Please Rakesh sir, this was all I could afford. I have nothing else to sell. Now my entire life depends on this movie. I beg you not to publish the script!

Rak : Hmmm… Ok..OK fine! Just do one more thing for me!

Anil (with a deep sigh of relief) : Tell me sir!

Rak : Just cover up Rakhi’s face for me. It’s kinda distracting me!

Rakhi: Heyy..No touchings wouchings…Wokay..anilji..Mein khud karoongi! (No touchings Anilji, I will cover it myself)

Rakesh: Now that all is well, let me go and cancel it for you!

Meanwhile, K.K. Kochunni looks at his watch and : Anil, its almost 11 pm now. I need my money for the hour !

Anil : Kochunni sir, here take my watch & my pants! Its all yours now!

Finally Justice was served to Rakesh! He received his Tea Set from Rakhi Sawant whose face was covered by a towel in front of his ex colleague, Mr. K.K.Kochunni & Mr. Anil Ambani himself! He had never felt this happy in his life! He was cherishing each moment of this grand victory of his! He walked towards the laptop on the table(in slow-mo) and he noticed Vimmuuu seated on the chair!

Vim : Ahh Rakesh, I did the honors for you man!

Rak : What do you mean?

Vim : I saw that you had forgotten to click the ‘Publish’ button to that post, so I went ahead & published it! Thanks man for your toilet story!

Anil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Anil started crying & banging his head on the wall.

Rakesh turned back to Anil with a sheepish grin on his face & said “OOOPS…Tea anyone?”

:mrgreen:

June 11, 2010 11:10 pm; Location:Vimmuuus Apartment

RAAVAN :A ‘LEAKED’ STORY,  Published in V-LOKAM

THE END

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Thanks a lot to all of you for supporting Rakesh. Now, if you wanna read more of his whackiness, its upto you all to pressurize him into blogging; I have had enough doing it! 😀

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169 Comments leave one →
  1. June 22, 2010 9:45 pm

    Oh boy! This is really tough! I felt I had to write something in the last part for the readers. Even though I am really bad in making serious speeches, I had to say something!
    First I would love to say a BIG thank you to vimmmuu who was crazy enough to post all my wackiness in his blog.

    All this started when the first trailer of Raavan came out!That scene of Abhishek diving from the cliff was just awesome and then I heard these news about the rumored alternate endings for raavan in a news channel & then this idea struck me & I immediately informed Vimmuuu who was on my gtalk and then I just penned down those 10 climaxes & rest as they say is history!

    I am damn sure I couldn’t have done this without him! He literally woke me up everyday, and dragged me to write this up. If it wasn’t for him I would not have been able to complete it!

    I would also like to thank all the friends who helped me in giving some creative inputs directly or indirectly 😉 I would like to mention some names here Sakshi, vidya ,ashwathy, & smita ! 🙂

    I am sorry if I was mean to all the stars and celebs and I am also sorry if I was very mean in reply to your comments, coz it was purely intentional.

    Its just that lots of effort had been made into making this post especially by vimmuu he really had a hard time editing & censoring controversial stuff to make it blog friendly
    Nevertheless it was great working with him!

    We had a blast!

    And last but no least I am really sorry Mani sir for stealing your diary, I feel you could have made a better movie! And before I go, I know I have been so mean to SRK, even though I am one of his biggest fans alive! So we decided to give him a role in this end credits/comments section

    “Here’s SRK apologizing on my behalf”
    Check out Juhi’s dance moves at 3.12 .Isnt she cute or wht? 🙂

    • June 22, 2010 9:46 pm

    • June 22, 2010 10:34 pm

      hey you are first !!!!!! 😛

      • June 22, 2010 10:36 pm

        And u r 3rd! So u get a trophy! 🙂

        btw did u notice the phantom-ji in purple underwear in the above song? 😉

        • June 22, 2010 10:38 pm

          on my kachuva chaap connection you aint see no videos kid… no videos… !! 😐

      • June 25, 2010 6:01 pm

        @phantom
        yeahh..im first..im first..im the king of the world!! woohoo!! :mrgreen:

    • June 22, 2010 11:08 pm

      OMG… what is this??? Continuation of the post??? 🙄 😯 🙄 😯

    • June 23, 2010 1:50 am

      KB, why don’t you start your own blog ?

      • June 23, 2010 10:31 am

        Bratu, now c’mon close down your blogspot page and shift to wordpress. Create a new blog and let us all have fun, na 😀

        • June 25, 2010 6:12 pm

          hi Deeps 🙂 i would love to shift one day…but i have miles to go before i shift..miles to go before i shift..

      • June 25, 2010 6:06 pm

        Actually smitha ,i have a blog! But im just too lazy to update it regularly..
        I am not mentally ready yet to start blogging again! 😦

    • June 23, 2010 5:24 am

      Just becoz you mentioned my name correctly and didn’t call me Yakshi, I won’t strangle you on this post 😛

      • June 24, 2010 4:11 pm

        But wat did u Yakshi 😛 I mean which part of this post is urs 😉 😉

  2. June 22, 2010 10:36 pm

    Dude… it requires a lot of imagination.. to write all this.. and lots of them were funny… I still have to read this post… !!! so now let me get on with it… !!!

    • June 23, 2010 5:26 am

      🙄 yup you need loads of imagination to not read the post and yet comment! Hitchy Ustad have to learn a lot from you :mrgreen:

      • June 25, 2010 6:26 pm

        @ yakshi

        Stop making fun of the phantom..u are unaware abt his great powers!
        He has the strength of 10 tigers and the spider sense of 20 spiders.Tht explains his ability to comment before reading! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
        :mrgreen:

  3. June 22, 2010 10:51 pm

    ROFL…. Naloopona !!!! and Tragedy Thursdays !!! 😆 😆

    another classic this one.. !!! and please dont give vimmmmuu ideas for 31 bathroom posts !!!!!!

  4. June 22, 2010 11:23 pm

    Gosh I am laughing aloud. This one is the best, I love NaLooPoNa..

    • June 25, 2010 6:34 pm

      🙂 Wait.. Let me also laugh with u! Muhahahahahhahahaha!!

      Thnx IHM! 🙂

  5. June 22, 2010 11:41 pm

    ROFL… 😆 As Hitchy bhai and IHM said… ‘NaLooPoNa’ was the best of the lot 😀 😀 and The tragedy thursday’s… 😀 😀 Great imagination…

    Bro… return to blogging soon.. my blog space is available for you anytime 😀 😀

    • June 23, 2010 12:09 am

      The girl named ‘Anonymously disguised’ may kill me for the last line :mrgreen:

      • June 23, 2010 5:27 am

        Yup that CUTE INNOCENT girl is definitely gonna murder you for this. :mrgreen:

        • June 25, 2010 6:42 pm

          I still belong to V-lokam dear yakshi! u will have to negotiate further on the terms & conditions with Vimfu Panda if u want me as ur ‘comment replying manager’! :mrgreen:

    • June 25, 2010 6:39 pm

      @batman

      Phew..Finally now i can throw away the nitrous oxide canister! Im really happy to know u like this part! 🙂
      thnk u for ur generous offer man!
      I will surely be ur guest as long as u feed me well with dosas, vadas & biriyani!
      🙂

    • June 25, 2010 8:22 pm

      heh heh …. Kanagu boss … you sure you want some bathroom posts ???

      Rakesh … after you fill in Kanagu’s space, my blog space is there for you to unleash your imagination 😀

      See you !

  6. June 22, 2010 11:42 pm

    ok.. give the translation of SRK’s dialogue 🙂 🙂

    • June 25, 2010 11:46 pm

      Ok Kanagu heres the translation just for u

      unakku vaazhkaila ethaavathu saadhikanum naa
      eppavumey idayam sollrathe thaan kekkanum
      appovum badal kedakkala naa
      kannimaye moodi un appaa ammaave nenachu sollu

      yen peru Rahul,naan theevravathi illai!!

  7. June 22, 2010 11:45 pm

    /*Vim : No, not with those dirty legs.

    Rak : Oh shut up! Don’t teach me about cleanliness, you ruined two bathrooms in that French train while you were in Europe !
    */

    ROFL 😆 ha ha ha…

  8. June 22, 2010 11:46 pm

    So whats the plans for the one who said ‘I didn’t read the part 1 and 2’??? :mrgreen:

    • June 25, 2010 6:47 pm

      You dont want to know kanagu! Its going to be terrible!God save those poor souls 👿

  9. June 22, 2010 11:47 pm

    I am spamming comment space after a long time 😀 😀 Feeling proud 😀 😀

  10. June 23, 2010 12:23 am

    The serious SRK dialogue in between was actually quite nice! Reminded me of his speech during the award winning scene in OSO. You have a good sense of rhyme… The article was quite funny, but SRK’s role was not necessary!!

    Destination Infinity

    • June 23, 2010 5:29 am

      I stand by you… mentioning Sakshi’s role in this was not at all necessary :mrgreen:

      • June 24, 2010 4:13 pm

        😯

        • June 25, 2010 6:53 pm

          @ DI
          Poor chap was crying at the door way for 3 hours.i felt sorry for him,thts y i gave him a song in the end just to make him feel better 😦

          • June 27, 2010 3:00 am

            Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ………. there you go pitying him again .. Hmmmfffffffffff

        • June 25, 2010 6:56 pm

          @ swaramboo

          Just for tht shocked expression ,i will cast u as one of the girls who gets eaten by yakshi! :mrgreen:

      • June 25, 2010 6:55 pm

        @ yakshi
        u never had a role yakshi :mrgreen:
        Maybe next time whn i make a horror movie,i will cast u! 😛

  11. Sindhu permalink
    June 23, 2010 12:30 am

    Dham,dham,dhamm…that’s my head hitting on the post nearby.my husband didn’t know what happened.he saw me readin Vimmu logam laughing hysterically and them running to the post to see me harm myself…he is getting a doc!!
    That’s the effect ur post had!!
    Now nan loouke poonu…

    • June 24, 2010 4:14 pm

      LOL 😛 😛

      • June 25, 2010 7:02 pm

        @ sindhu

        So did u hit ur head on a telephone post or a an electric post?
        Im really sorry for tht side-effect.My expert panel of doctors are working on how to minimize the brain damage caused by these posts !

        ok then Happy looing!

  12. June 23, 2010 1:55 am

    LOL! KB, you exceed yourself 🙂 This is even funnier 🙂 Naloopona – That was too much.

    But Rakesh you carry horse tranquilizers on you 🙂 You are one dangerous person to be around 🙂

    And while you are at it, could you please ask Rakhi Sawant to have one more Swayamvar, pls? We are totally bored out here.

    Vimmuuu, I have a toilet picture, will put it up and dedicate it to you one of these days -it could be my contribution to Tragedy Tuesdays 🙂

    • June 23, 2010 3:02 am

      Smitha… its Thursday.. not Tuesday.. 🙂 🙂

      on the other hand… that picture itself a tragedy so anyday is fine to be added with tragedy 😀 😀

      • June 23, 2010 3:06 am

        Hey man! Did u see the match? What a match na!

        Argentina is definitely gonna win the worldcup !!!!
        😎

    • June 23, 2010 10:36 am

      So that you can start a fresh nablopomo series with 31 back to back posts on Rakhi Sawant and her histrionics, is it, Smits?? Ayyyooooo!!!!

      • June 23, 2010 5:55 pm

        No more NaBloPoMos – that is a promise – I can promise to post after every episode of the Swayamvar though 🙂

      • June 25, 2010 7:28 pm

        @ deeps

        Iyayaooo..Dont forget this is a family blog!We wont tolerate any more rakhi sawants and her bathroom swayamvars here ! 😮

    • June 24, 2010 4:15 pm

      Oh ya Smiths, we cn all do it on his bday 😛 Dedicated to him 😉

    • June 25, 2010 7:23 pm

      @ smitha

      Haha.. :mrgreen:

      Wht do mean by dangerous?? i just saved the biggest celebrity in our country & u r calling me dangerous??

      Iyoo no more swayamvars!! i hope she does a ‘swayammar’ and free us all of her non-stop torture!

      Be my guest smitha..send in all those pics!! It will be like a grand tribute to our unprecedented bathroom king!

  13. June 23, 2010 3:54 am

    After Ra.one back to loo tales via loony tunes ending up in NaLooPoNa
    This part hit the bulls-eye….too good 😀
    I need to come back for another hilarious read ASAP 😀 😀

    C’mon Rakesh, revive your dormant blog and get writing 😛

    We all need more of this awesome madness 🙂 🙂

    • June 25, 2010 7:42 pm

      haha..are u sure CB? 🙂
      Well…im not sure abt the reviving thing …But i will surely try!
      u can always catch me blog hopping everywhere! 🙂

      Btw ..Did u come back again? :mrgreen:

  14. June 23, 2010 5:27 am

    ROOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLL!!!
    Again, a classic piece from you, Karate Brat 🙂
    That reference to ‘ruined two bathrooms in the French train’ was like hitting below the belt.. er, not literally 😉 And Vimmu choosing ‘loo’ OVER ‘srk’ was outstanding 😉
    Butt vonly von qoshtin – how did that email fall into your Diary??!!!

    Gosh, still laughing at this post.

    Vimmu asking KB to ‘come into the toilet’ to help with pictures.. hilarious man!!

    Oh! And this one took the cake : ‘NaLooPoNa’…

    This line again…. ‘Anil : Kochunni sir, here take my watch & my pants! Its all yours now!’ – ROFL!!!

    An excellent post… well done boys 🙂 More please!!

    • June 25, 2010 7:51 pm

      Thnk uuuuuu Pal! 🙂
      Now stop rolling on the floor & get up will ya!!
      And do i get a penalty for hiting under the belt? 😦
      Haha!

      Oh so u have a question ha?
      wait let me explain it to u..
      1)its actually Mani sirs diary 😉
      2)He had received 2 emails from SRK & Kamal hassan
      3)These were email printouts
      4)These email printouts were inside this same diary

      🙂
      Plz dont ask for more! i should stop now before this gets anymore dirtier! :mrgreen:

  15. June 23, 2010 7:14 am

    Heck, Rakesh walks into Vimmuuu’s place in the dead of the night and wants some toilet jokes! Man! This is turning murkier than I thought!

    But anyways, it is a free country after all! 🙂

    Poor Laxmi!

    • June 25, 2010 9:45 pm

      😯 😯 😯 😯
      Thank god tht we stopped with this 3rdpart,otherwise this would have gotten more dirtier!
      :mrgreen:
      Ya i do feel sorry for laxmi chechi 😦
      Now i know 1 thing for sure,i will never be able to set foot in chennai! Ever!
      😦

  16. June 23, 2010 10:28 am

    Adibhayngaram!! Absolutely hilaroous stuff, KB!! I still cant stop laughing..this is the bestest of the three parts.

    Naloopona….classic choice, especially when you relate it with tamil 😆

    And you slapped SRK… kodu kai!!

    THis is one riot of a post!

    Superlative, Bratu!

    Ok now let me scroll up and read all the comments 😀

    • June 24, 2010 4:16 pm

      I know .. the way u related it with Tamil is awesome 🙂

    • June 25, 2010 9:50 pm

      @ deeps
      Athi santhoshamaayi!!! reading ur comment 🙂

      Kai kodukan oke varate..let me explain to u one thing..im a big SRK fan!
      I would never do such a thing to SRK!He is like GOD to me! 😀 😀
      But since the script demanded a slap,i had to do it! 😛

      Now scroll down to see my reply 🙂

  17. June 23, 2010 10:39 am

    ROFL…..Guys, u both are the ultimate…I haven’t stopped laughing – NaLooPoNa – OMG !!!! Kya twist in the words and whaaaat a meaning it gave !!!!! 😆

    Tragedy Thursdays – OH !!! Thats another super creative thing !!!! LOL !!!!

    U made SRK look like a weakling….so sad….but still the ideas of Red Chillies seem the same – no scope of improvement…

    Finally you got ur tea set – but couldnt you get anyone other than Rakhi Sawant ??? She is horrible now – she comes in that dance show and really looks scary and bloated….yuck….

    I never thot Anil will be reduced to such levels….OMG !!!!

    But on the whole, kudos to the creative team !!! You had us all hooked on to this series, in spite of the madness surrounding it. 🙂

    Vimmuuu, if u dare to come up with that 31 bathroom tales, unga veetukke vanthu, oru udhai kuduppen !!! Mind it !!! 😉 Che, the first person to take a camera inside the bathroom and take pictures too….eeewwww……

    Rakesh, you better start updating ur blogs !!! If all you need is some constant bugging, we’ll be delighted to do that for you. We can even wake u up, constantly so that u write in your blog. 🙂

    • June 23, 2010 10:40 am

      Hey, how dare u send Laxmi out ???? I totally oppose this. GGGGrrrr…..

      Laxmi, where are you, dear, I am coming to save u from this mad guys…. 🙂

      • June 24, 2010 4:19 pm

        LOL Yaaaaaa

      • June 25, 2010 10:11 pm

        @Uma & Swaramboo

        Even i oppose this!!
        It wasnt my fault ok! It was his toilet jokes tht scared her away!
        Im innocent! 😦
        If u want,I will join u against Vimmuu!
        :mrgreen:

    • June 25, 2010 10:07 pm

      @ Uma 🙂

      Thnk u thnku Uma! 😀 😀
      I feel honored to make fun of vimmuu!! :mrgreen: Keep motivating me to make fun of him!! 😀 😀

      Hey im still a die hard SRK fan!
      Since the script demanded it,i had to make fun of SRK!
      Even i hate Rakhi sawant,its just tht anil couldn’t get a better/cheaper replacement!

      I think vimmuu has already planned for it!!Good luck trying to stop him! 😉

      Aww tht was really sweet of u Uma 🙂 Thnks a lot 🙂
      I cant promise anything as of now,but i wont disappoint u guys!
      I will be back one day! 🙂

  18. June 23, 2010 1:31 pm

    one word – B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T
    haven’t laughed sooooo much over toilet jokes, really. NaLooPoNa is simply unbelievable.
    Post movie release, looks like Amabni is going through a similar phase; heard the movie is a big flop.

    • June 25, 2010 10:17 pm

      One word- THANKS

      Actually there weren’t any toilet jokes 😉
      Vimmuuu was pretty much serious when he was clicking those pics 😀 😀 😀
      Wht do u mean? the ambanis are also trying toilet jokes for their next movie?
      Ya i heard..but i think the tamil version is doing well!
      🙂

  19. June 23, 2010 2:10 pm

    Heeeheeehaaahaaa !!!! 😀 😀 OK, I loved this post although U made too much fun of SRK(whom I like). You Vimmuuuu can do a NaLooPoNa – A Loo post everyday for a month. I’m sure it’d be easy-peasy for you!!!!

    • June 25, 2010 10:25 pm

      Muhahahaha!
      Hey even i also like SRK! 😀
      And if u r a true SRK fan,u might already know that he likes making fun of himself!
      So as a true fan,i just followed his tradition! 🙂

      Ya its a piece of cake for him 😉 He can crack toilet jokes on the spot!He is a legend when it comes to loo jokes!
      😛

  20. June 23, 2010 2:32 pm

    Zab bloggers block dikhe, Jab blog post likhna ho,

    Blogging Awards jeetna ho, Toh hamesha apne readers ki suno,
    (Aur readers hamesha sach bolte hain!)

    Aur ager polls mein good response naheen mile,

    Tho bhi blog break mat lo,

    NaLooPoNa ka naam lo … and sing,

    – SRK karte karte mera dil deewana bole,
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15… 31
    31 bathroom posts

    🙂

    heh heh 🙂

    • June 23, 2010 2:46 pm

      LOL, IHM!!! Thats a gud one. 🙂

    • June 23, 2010 5:56 pm

      LOL, IHM, that was superb!

    • June 25, 2010 10:14 am

      31 bathroom posts? This is a world record and we are reading them…who is crazy?!

      Nice lines, IHM!

      • June 25, 2010 10:40 pm

        @IHM

        U know whts the best thing tht happend after these ‘raavan’ series?
        I turned u into a warrior poet..IHM! hahaha! 😛 😛

        Tht was brilliant IHM!i loved it! 😛

        Now let me join in the song and tweak those last few lines
        How about we add..

        ♫Jab Bhi Koi ‘Loo’ Dekhe Mera Dil Deewana Bole ….
        ……………………………………………………………..
        ……………………………………………………………..
        ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫
        ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫
        ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫
        ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫

        • June 25, 2010 10:43 pm

          @Uma,Smitha & sandhya!

          Everybody shake ur body & dance with me!

          ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫
          ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫

          Sigh..I was born intelligent but vimmuus toilet jokes spoiled me! Anyway …let me continue dancing!

          ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫
          ♫ Loo le..Loo le…Loo..le !!♫

  21. June 23, 2010 2:58 pm

    :grrr we said No and he hs still written? And u post on a day that I hv so much work 👿

    • June 24, 2010 4:00 pm

      NaLooPoNa .. ha ha ha! Too much Vims 😛 U must thank us for dng NaBlo.. whatever though .. u make me forget the name nw 😉 We r ur inspiration 8)

      • June 24, 2010 4:08 pm

        Her English is just like Barbaras; we won’t understand a thing! – Ha ha! Classic!

    • June 25, 2010 10:44 pm

      Take a loo break and then comment na! 😀

  22. June 23, 2010 4:24 pm

    Dude!!! Do you have any idea what you’ve done???

    I made the mistake of reading this post while in office…!! I had to nearly strangle and choke myself not to laugh. By the time I reached ‘NaLooPoNa’ I had to run from my seat choking and snortingt and giggling in fits and start… and I headed straight for – believe it or not – the loo!!! for a break!! :mrgreen:

    In terminator style, I’LL BE BACK! (to comment abt everything!)

    • June 25, 2010 10:50 pm

      😛
      Wht did i do?? hehe
      Im totally innocent u see!
      Er.. why does everyone end up in the loo after reading this post?
      Some ppl banged their heads on posts & some ended up in the loo!
      Strange side effects this post has 😛 😛

      Anyway let me reply u in Terminator style
      “Come back soon & read if u want to live!”

      • June 27, 2010 12:21 am

        Dude!!! Have you spared anybody at all?? You poked fun of vimmuuu in his own blog, got rid of laxmi, got slapped SRK, ruined Ambani and got Rakhi Sawart in exchange for Barbara Mori?????
        U deserve a standing ovation for having worked out all that… and that too without sitting in the loo!!! :mrgreen:

  23. June 23, 2010 6:44 pm

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrr …………. of all the awesome pics of SRK, you had to choose this one ? Damn !
    SRK de koode kali vendaayirunnu 😦 😦 : ( … heartbroken today !

    :NaLooPoNa: — stroke of genius ! Sooooper !!! For a minute, I was just staring at the word … Romba nalla usage saaaar ! Asal aayirikkein !

    Vimmuuu, you are a master singer-writer … have read somewhere that geniuses have crazy habits (obsession with the loo being one of them) … you qualify as a genius !


    Vimmmuuu and Karate Brat
    The blog is a stage for them to prat
    After reading and enjoying, you look up with a start
    Only to see them run to the loo after a fart

    • June 23, 2010 8:31 pm

      @ Deepa:
      Excellent piece of poetic tribute 😉 😉

    • June 24, 2010 4:23 pm

      Vims, u r a genius-aaaaaaaa 🙄

    • June 25, 2010 11:04 pm

      @deepa

      Kabhi kabhi dil jodne ke liye dil todna bhi padtha hai,
      Aur dil tod ke jodne wale ko…. pata nahin kya kehte hain!

      😀 😀 😀 😀

      Listen deepa im a big fan of srk Ok! Apoo eniku enthu thonya vasavum aavaam!!

      Hey not fair ok!!
      How come u only called Vimmuu a genius? What abt me??

      Hmm i read ur poem and i must say
      That must the smelliest tribute that i have ever received from anyone!
      Thnx a lot deepa ,now will u plz tell me where u r from so tht i can come over and strangle u!! Grrrrrrrr!!!! 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈

      • June 27, 2010 3:12 am

        baazigar tho nahi kahte hain … genius kahte hain ? shaayad .. shaayad NOT !

        I’m a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeee ,… soooooooooooooooooooooooooper huge fan of yours, KB, so njan enthu thoonya vasam venengillum kaatate ??

        Dig my own grave ??? You think ?

        • June 27, 2010 4:06 am

          Err..Shaayad kehte hai? hwoi?? nghe?? 🙄

          Oh really??? 😯
          I am so proud of u!My first fan!! 😛
          Let me get my shades now! 😎
          Just to let u know,I will be signing autographs on Vimuuu’s ‘Tragedy thursdays’ pics soon!
          Come n visit vlokam.com to get an exclusive ‘TT Loo photograph” signed by The Karate brat & Vimfu Panda B.K himself! Special Limited promotion only!So Hurry up!

          Enthu thonyvasavum venamengilum ayikoo! My job is done here at V-Lokam & now im off to a safe place!Alvidaa!

          Ya its better to be prepared na..If u get bored,just continue digging..Who knows? Maybe if u dig deep enough u may end up in China! 😀 😀 😀 😀

          • June 28, 2010 11:47 pm

            hah !

            china eh ??
            maybe I will find a special chinese bathroom edition for Vimmu …

            and he can say “Wo Yao Qu Ce Suo”

            😛

            • June 29, 2010 6:37 pm

              Deepa! Wǒ rènwéi nǐ shì fēng le! Suǒyǐ, qǐng gàosu wǒ nǐ lái zì nǎlǐ, wǒ yěshì rúcǐ kěyǐ jùyǒu liánghǎo de xīnlǐ yīshēng lái duìdài nǐ! 🙂

              • June 29, 2010 10:23 pm

                huh ? apadiyaa ?

                enikku treatment onnume vaanda …. aur main paagal bhi nahi hoon

                “mich finden, wenn du kannst”

                • June 29, 2010 10:24 pm

                  really …. should appreciate the effort you took to reply in chinese 🙂 🙂

  24. June 24, 2010 12:23 pm

    *Is cheering loudly for NaLooPoNa*:lol: 😆 LMAOOO!!!
    This is the most surreal, crazy, twisted and dirty post I’ve ever read!
    Keep it rocking Vimmuuu!!! 🙂 🙂

  25. June 24, 2010 3:49 pm

    What has gotten into you? I did not participate in the Poll but I would go for No More Torture. Muhahahahaaha

    • June 25, 2010 11:08 pm

      Ohh torture eh??
      u r just mad coz i didnt include ur fav star abhay deol na 😉
      Muhahaha! 😈

  26. June 24, 2010 10:47 pm

    ‘He got inside the house and picked the heavy telephone directory from the table.’ What an imagination, Brat!

    ‘You know that I am a big fan of your blog & toilet jokes.’, many people seem to be!

    Really, SRK has got puppy dog eyes…I noticed now! Thank you!

    NalooPoNa…what an imagination…you are grrrreat, KB..(oh, not K.Balachandar…I am not giving new ideas!)

    I will be scared of the word ‘tragedy Thursdays’…will never open to read!

    Enjoyed reading ‘missing tail’ reel! Keep entertaining us!

    • June 25, 2010 11:14 pm

      🙂
      Thnku u sandhya
      Now u r also a fan of toilet jokes na 🙂
      Im glad i was able to help u

      Ya SRK does cry like a baby in most of his movies! 😀 😀
      But i still love him! He is GOD!

      K. Balachander?? haha.. Kunjetoo r u listening??? hahaha

      And u SHOULD be scared of TTs!

      we will try sandhya,
      🙂

  27. June 25, 2010 11:46 am

    It is very unsual of me to turn up so later here hehehehe…..

    Let me be honest! I loved the 2nd post of this series the most! It was genuinely funny but this one I felt was stretched & forced at places and that’s the reason I couldn’t bring myself to comment immediately. I was also confused whether to be honest or not but then I decided to be frank 🙂

    But all said n done I loved “puppy dog eyes look” and the accompnaying photograph of hakla Khan 😀

    Jao Rakesh Maine tumhain Salman Khan ka mazak udane ke liye maaf kiya!!! 😀

    BTW we have some common connection from the past!! Ask Vimmmuuu he might tell you what I am talking about 😉

    lol @ NaLooPoNa that for sure is a stroke of brilliance 😉 I hope u start updating your blog and finish of that gift post of yours before the world ends in 2012 😛

    • June 25, 2010 2:04 pm

      LOL 😛
      I agree with Smita .. I liked the 2nd part the best too 😀

    • June 25, 2010 11:26 pm

      you are late!!! hmmmphh!! 🙂

      Hey smita ,i totally agree with u,even i felt the same.I liked ur honest reply and thts the reason im not goin to be mean to u..well atleast in this comment! 😀 😀 😀

      Now u also know the reason why i dont comment on ur book reviews..thts coz i dont know wht to comment on the books i have never read!:)

      So u LOVED SRK’s eyes huh? hehehe
      so tht means u do like him..hahaha :mrgreen:

      Chalo main bhi maaf kiya for calling him Hakla!

      Common connection from the past?????
      OMG dont tell me!! Are u that fat bully girl who stole my water bottle in kindergarten??? 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

      I have 2 more years na 😉 Lets see hehe

  28. June 25, 2010 11:25 pm

    NaLooPoNa … hahahaha…

    man, u sure have a lotta time dontcha!! woopiee, to cook up so much and then use celebs… phew… !! 😀

    • June 25, 2010 11:29 pm

      yep im jobless 😀 😀 😀

      But i don’t know how to cook 😦
      i only know how to make noodles n sausages 😀

      • June 29, 2010 12:41 pm

        Noodles and sausages.. ahem, too much cooking i say..giving me a damn complex… 😉

        errr.. going out on limb here — do u know how to wash clothes too ??? is vimmuuu ur teacher by any chance??? ;o)

        • June 29, 2010 7:06 pm

          ehh?? U want to hire me as ur Dhobi?? 😯
          I am not an expert in it but i can try by karate kicking the clothes!

          For any business related discussions & inquires, u may contact my sponsor Mr Vimfu Panda! 🙄

  29. June 26, 2010 8:51 am

    NaLooPoNa ?!!! 😆

    LOL!!
    Horse tranquilizers are making SRK talk?!!! hehe
    SRK fans are going to be hunting you down for this!!! 😉

    all brilliant ideas are conceptualised in the bathroom is it?!! 😉

    SRK took the time to follow you all the way?! sheesh! 🙄
    Ewww… and you managed to find one of the ugliest close shots of him!! Ewww…

    31 toilet posts?!! :shoch: OMG!! and photos in the bathroom!!

    wait. what “condition” does SRK have?!!
    ok! the weirdest sight would be Rakhi sawant dancing in Vimmuu’s apartment!! LOL!!

    I loved this part!! so, finally you get the tes set AND the post gets published!!! 😀

    • June 27, 2010 3:33 am

      Yep Naloopona It is! 😀 😀
      Ya u didnt know tht abt srk?
      Why would i hunt myself? 🙄

      Yep sometimes! :mrgreen:
      That Newton fellow discovered gravity while he was peeing on an apple tree!
      Right? 😛

      Oh u liked his puppy dog eyes? 😉 Yep thts right! he was stalking me frm cochin to chennai!

      Yep! u heard it from me first! 31 posts to entertain u for the whole month!

      Srks’ condition? well thts a complicated condition called
      ” Uncontrollable Schizoprogeriodyslexic Assglycerinovibratoburger syndrome”
      😦

      Yep wht a sight it was! 😀 😀 😀

      And i finally won the battle! Yipee! 🙂

  30. June 26, 2010 2:20 pm

    NaLooPoNa – Now that’s an idea !!! Bring it on – More Power to the TOILET MAN

    And I imagined that part about you slapping SRK – that gave me a laughter attack… 🙂 Not sure if IHM would like it. 😛

    • June 27, 2010 3:38 am

      Dude the less the power the better! Dont force him! :mrgreen:

      Do u want me to slap him again? 😀 😀
      Oh IHM loved it ! She even wrote a poem for me! 🙂

      :mrgreen:

  31. June 27, 2010 10:52 pm

    Real brat you are, man, Rakesh! What a hilarious post!!!
    Now, i wonder if all the hilarious posts in this blog’ve been written by you. 😀

    ” I am going to post 31 Toilet posts for the whole month, continuously! And it will be known as NaLooPoNa !! The abbreviation itself means ‘What if I go to the loo?” in Tamil. What say ?” ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Damn. Is this series over?

    Mt Karate brat, pls pls pls start blogging. 😀

    • June 29, 2010 6:51 pm

      It was actually very very serious! Its a revenge story remember! 😉

      No no..i had nothing to do with his other toilet stories! I am only guilty for these 3 posts!
      😦

      You should be praying that its finally over! 🙂
      Otherwise i would have got assassinated by those 6 people who voted against me! 👿

      Err.. MT Karate brat??

      Did someone name a mountain after me? Am i that famous? :mrgreen:

  32. June 28, 2010 6:35 pm

    ROTFL, loved it!!!
    Tragic Thursdays was hilarious 😀 😀

    • June 29, 2010 6:52 pm

      Tragic thursdays is Sad! sobs 😦

      btw Loved the flower 🙂

      • June 29, 2010 9:38 pm

        Thank you!

        why so sad? 😀 😀

        • June 29, 2010 11:01 pm

          er..i was born on a Tragic thursday!!
          hehehehe 😛 😀 😀

          • June 30, 2010 11:37 am

            Ah! Am sure it’s the other way round i.e. as you were born on thrusday it is called Tragic Thursdays 😀

            • June 30, 2010 2:52 pm

              Well..ppl say i was a lucky baby..
              coz just a few days after my birth ,the evil Indira Gandhi was assassinated!

              & i was also born on the same day when ‘Terminator’ was released worldwide 😉

              So don’t u see a connection there? 😉

            • July 2, 2010 5:03 pm

              Hehe.. I agree 😀

  33. June 29, 2010 10:25 am

    i guess all here have the same doubt – y r u nt typing the same in ur blog? 😛 thts better than asking y r u not blogging and u replying that u r lazy and all.. 😛
    poor s.r.k ..”and im not a terrorist” rofl!
    and guess what??? i was wondering how can vimmuuu write hindi!!! nd thn it struck me..its u..
    ps: pls get back to blogging – 🙂

  34. June 29, 2010 6:58 pm

    y r u not commenting the same in my blog so that u can motivate me to blog? 😀

    And who told u tht Vimmuu cant write in Hindi?
    FYI me n vimmuu were pandits in Hindi language once upon a time!

    I really don’t know when im going to get back to blogging;But rest assure , i will be back one day! 😛

  35. Warier permalink
    June 29, 2010 9:28 pm

    I kw itz tooooo late ….. but FIRST from the last 😉
    Wish u good luck 🙂

    • June 29, 2010 10:14 pm

      no longer first from the last 😉

    • June 29, 2010 10:37 pm

      @ Warier

      Its never too late 🙂
      Thanx a lot for ur comment!
      And yes u the first warier here..So yeahh!! U win!! 😉
      God bless u!

  36. June 29, 2010 10:13 pm

    pressurize him into blogging :
    Why ? Has he decided to stop blogging ?

    • July 3, 2010 9:13 am

      Don’t pressurize him too much ok? He is a walking, talking, karateing Gas Cylinder in case you didn’t know that :mrgreen:

  37. Warier permalink
    June 30, 2010 7:33 pm

    You can’t babe 🙂

    • July 1, 2010 2:58 pm

      oohh… Tag team wrestling match-a??

      Does that mean i will have to come n wrestle with my yellow underwear?
      :mrgreen:

      Thnks for dropping by 😉 & not to worry my tag team partner Vimfu-panda will do the tag for ya!

  38. July 3, 2010 9:15 am

    Hey Vimmu have you decided to leave your blog in the hands of this Beltless Brat forever or what?? let’s make a WP account and gift the Brat coz I terribly miss your bathroom posts 😥

    • July 3, 2010 12:42 pm

      Exactly, Saksh!! I came here to ask Vimmu the same. He seems to have forgotten he has a blog up & running here 😀

      • July 3, 2010 3:36 pm

        i think he is stuck inside a train toilet somewhere! Trying calling the Indian railways if u don’t hear from him after 2 days ! :mrgreen:

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