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My stay in a Ladies Hostel !!!

August 6, 2010

That’s right ! My life in the last two weeks was like that of a security guard in a ladies hostel !!

Imagine a small two bed room apartment with four women and just a helpless guy ! The four women – the missus, her mother, one of her close friend, my cousin and thaat helpess guy — ME! I couldn’t get rid of any of them from my apartment; I was stuck, literally ! Most of my senses were deprived from anything that was male. I could see only feminine stuffs wherever I turned to — hair, hairpins, hair bands, bindis stuck on mirrors and on walls of restrooms, different kinds of cosmetics, clothes and ewww clothes !!! The apartment was filled with the scent of women and all I could listen to was female shrieks. I had to watch stupid and I mean, really stupid TV serials !!! They say every hostel has its own way of ragging; watching these sick serials was the ragging I had to go through at this ladies hostel ! Well, nobody was forcing me to watch them, but they keep those serials only during dinner time which is when I don’t have control over the remote since I would be concentrating on the food !

Btw, what is with women and those shows, I don’t understand? Why on earth do they get addicted to it? They say a few stories are related to them in some way or the other; but all I get to see in those TV soaps are extra marital affairs, idiotic husbands, children who speak more than their age, and bad mother in laws .I swear, none of them who watches these serials at my home has a life that is even close to all that !! I was under the impression that only the old and bored homemakers watch these kinda soaps to kill time. But to my surprise, the missus at home watches all those ‘Pratigya’s and ‘Tere Liye’s and she has the guts to ridicule me when I watch ‘The Simpsons’! Hmmpphh !!! Back at home, its even terrible; my mom bombards me with all her questions and doubts on my whereabouts only when I get to watch TV, but she gets irritated even if the land phone rings during those tear jerkers of hers !

Ok, where was I ? ya, the ladies hostel ! The rooms were always occupied by someone or the other with a phone; restrooms were always in use whenever I needed them; the only room that didn’t have anybody during the day time was the TV room, the hall. But when has life been easy for me? All those women barged inside the hall from I-don’t-know-where as soon as they knew that some of my favourite show was on.

Now, do they allow me to watch the TV? No, they all gathered to talk!

Do they want to watch the TV ? No, they wanted to chit chat !

Do they sit quietly atleast ? Aren’t you all listening ? For the last time, NO, they just wanted to have a loud irrelevant discussion on everything under the sun and moon with their occasional loud laughs and shrieks without even considering the fact that a poor human soul was watching TV !

But you know what, over the days, I developed a strategy to drive all the women away from the TV room! Guys, please read the below points carefully; trust me, it works !!

  1. Go and get seated in the TV room10 mins before the show.
  2. Make sure you have the remote with you.
  3. The ladies are bound to attack your privacy. They all gather in the hall and gossip on something very irrelevant; for example, on their dress that has faded or on the neighbors distant cousin who eloped with the milkman.
  4. Discuss with one of them (wife, mom, sister, mother in law, grandmom and the likes) on her favourite songs and ask her politely to get you some drink.
  5. Surf the TV channels and stop at a channel which you know is of least interest to the ones sitting in the room. In my case, Discovery or any News channel ! 😀
  6. Increase the volume a little bit and leave some ‘sshhh’s in between.
  7. You can see them leave ! But don’t change the channel now. You are yet to get your drink.
  8. Keep that particular channel on for some more time. That one person comes with your drink and notices you fully involved. When she gives the drink to you, pretend to be fully involved with the show by fussing and moving here and there for a better view. She goes in and comments to the rest of them, “One person over there in the hall is seriously watching something. Looks like he is going to get inside the TV pretty soon.”
  9. That comment would be loud enough. Now is the time for your wicked smile (the smile is important, how else can you express your achievement!)
  10. Tune into any of the crap that you wanted to watch and enjoy it with the drink you just got.

Ok, guys, enough of thanking me for the idea, let me get back to the post.

My stay at the ‘ladies hostel’ became worse during the weekends when I couldn’t go anywhere on my will. There were three others at home and even if I felt like going out for dinner, I would have to book a cab which would end up being an expensive affair. (No, I don’t own a car and the traffic officers in Chennai would have a problem with us going quintuple on my bike, even if it was possible!) To top it all, the hard disk of my laptop crashed and I was bored to death. I got my notebook from office and the day I brought it home, the net connection went pooofffff ! I know, bad luck keeps chasing me like mad dogs !

I literally made excuses to get out of the house. I volunteered to get the groceries whenever needed, to get the clothes dried, to throw garbage, etc. The NalandaWay events came at a perfect time; perfect enough for me to sneak out of the ladies hostel that I was stuck in. I called it myself the – NalandaWay GetaWay! On the first day, I managed to get out of the house all by myself and attended the show! Man; was I thrilled or what !!! However, the missus accompanied me on the second day for various unexplainable reasons 😀 😀

Trust me people, with these many women, of all ages. walking in and around the apartment, who wouldn’t feel suffocated. Atleast I was :D. It should be because I used to live like a king in the same apartment until my wedding. I could shout, I could yawn, sneeze and burp louder, I could watch FRIENDS all day long, I could listen and record songs anytime, I could walk topless, I could be on the phone for hours, I could eat and drink whatever and whenever I wanted to, I could even sleep in the bathroom, I could sit in front of my laptop for days together, I could leave anything anywhere and not have to spend the rest of the day searching them !!!

Oh, that reminds me, I finally solved the age old mystery (I really don’t know if anyone else has actually come up with an answer ;)) –

Why do men keep searching for their stuffs?

I first left this as a comment in one of Indys post, and a few men (Swarams husband is one of them) actually supported my view. We men are capable of finding directions easily or we never get lost on the roads, but we do keep searching our stuffs at home almost everyday. Why? Its because of you women !! Yup, that’s right !!! 😀 😀 😀 See, the funda is like this – we may keep our stuffs here and there, wherever we want but we are pretty much aware of where it is or was. But women, in their urge to keep the home clean, shift these things to different locations. The worst part is that we never get to know where it is shifted to. We are not against your compulsive disorder to keep the house clean, tidy and what not. But why do you all have to fiddle with our stuffs and then move it somewhere else? Do we even touch your hair band, or safety pin or any of your make up accessories? They lie almost everywhere, but we don’t even shift their position to make way for ours!!! How would you feel if we shifted your bindhi from the mirror to, say, a chair??

Now, what happens when you move our stuffs from its previous position? Obviously search, search and search until we lose our cool and get you into the scenario to search them for us and half of the time, you all don’t even remember where you relocated them. We men are never spared; pre-wedding, it was mom, post wedding, its wife. I don’t remember searching for bills, receipts or mobile charger when I stayed all alone. Sigh !! How I wish if there was something like a google toolbar available at home !

Anyway, by the beginning of this week, the apartment got empty; the missus stayed back though 😉 She was all tears after her mom had left. I tried my best in convincing her to go back home so that she can spend some more time with her mom. I simultaneously controlled my happiness, because I really thought she would agree! But it looks like she just doesn’t want to keep me happy! I repeat, every husband has a sad story to tell !!!

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147 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2010 6:58 pm

    WOW !!! The FIRST ever…coming FIRST over here at V-Lokam !!! 😉

    Vim : :D; donno whats the happiness behind it, but yeyyy ! 😀 😀

    • August 6, 2010 7:17 pm

      ROFL !!! So, its the ladies hostel huh ??? LOL !!! And you were the Warden-aa ???? 😉

      Vim : Exactly ! 😀

      I do agree that watching all those stupid serials will only make us irritated and bugged. I never watch any serial – max some 2 or 3 cookery shows, while I eat my lunch !!! Sometimes, I try to see a movie. Thats all. But the serial addiction is quite bad. But sorry to burst your happiness bubble, there are many men out there, who watch serials – so, don’t generalise with the three women you’ve seen. I know many of them, who rush back from office to watch serials. Its pathetic.

      Vim : Happpaaaa; some woman agrees ! 😀 😀 I know there are men who watches these serials, sometimes more than the women folk in the house 😀 see, you have exceptions everywhere and those exceptions shouldnt be considered as examples ! 😀 😀

      Big trick in watching your fav channel… 😉 The rules are total LOL !!! 🙂

      Vim : Show them to your hubby; he will be happy ! 😀

      But how sad that you don’t have the POWER !!!! ha ha ha…. 😆

      So, you search because we shift things here and there, huh ???? Its not the same in every case. If we just ask you to be a little organised with things, you’ve a real big problem !!!

      Vim : We are organised the way we are. You people are actually contributing to the confusion ! 😀

      Whaat ??? You were feeling happy that she’ll go with her mom – you idiot – che, I need to talk with her now…

      Vim : You will convince her for me ???? 😀 😀 😀

    • August 7, 2010 1:31 pm

      BTW, where’s L now-a-days ??? Not to be seen online, commenting on posts…. 😉

      • August 7, 2010 2:56 pm

        She is banned from my blog ! 😀 😀

        • August 9, 2010 1:48 pm

          How dare you ???? Thats the reason, she is taking revenge on you…by making your flat as a ladies hostel. 🙂

  2. v2 aka Vivek permalink
    August 6, 2010 6:59 pm

    Title s awesome …

  3. Neelima permalink
    August 6, 2010 7:13 pm

    SHREWD and AWESOME!! just enjoyed it so much………. A gud start for a weekend!!

    • August 7, 2010 8:56 am

      Welcome to V-Lokam and thanks for dropping by.

      LOL, and you didnt find it offending in any way ! 😀 😀

  4. v2 aka Vivek permalink
    August 6, 2010 7:16 pm

    The post as well is awesome .. I pity you .. Though i have not gone through these “things” ..

    • August 7, 2010 8:56 am

      You will buddy ! get married and all those “things” will come for free ! 😀

  5. August 6, 2010 7:28 pm

    The title is catchy, will read slowly and comment!

    • August 7, 2010 8:57 am

      LOL, are you reading it in slow motion ? Its almost 14 hrs now ! 😀

  6. August 6, 2010 7:36 pm

    no way !

    i keep yelling at mom to stay away from my stuff … my clothes are all plonked on the bed with my books, and i know exactly where they are … away in cup boards, they waste my time

    hello hello … men are no worse ok …. u try watching a cartoon, there materializes a man who wants to watch koffee with karan .. men, i tell you !!!!

    🙂 🙂

    • August 7, 2010 9:00 am

      LOL, dont compare koffee with karan with those serials !! 😀 😀 😀 You get to see celebrities atleast and who knows the men whom you know would be waiting for some female celebrity to appear in the show ! 😀 😀

  7. NiKHiL permalink
    August 6, 2010 8:21 pm

    AWESOME……………… gives me sort of an idea of times to come………….

    • August 7, 2010 9:01 am

      Welcome to V-Lokam bro and thanks for dropping by.

      I hope so; I had given enough warnings to people like you. Time to implement what you had learned so far ! 😀 😀

  8. August 6, 2010 9:00 pm

    OMHG! Vimmuuu, how very sad dude! I got the creeps reading this post and have decided to go on an all out attack to stop my parents from pestering me to get married! Just no ways……I don’t think I could handle any of this! Phew! Man, hats off to you budd!

    • August 7, 2010 9:03 am

      LOL Rakesh !!! I am glad you took it in the positive sense. Did you attack them yet ?? 😀 😀

      and you are right buddy, this is tough to handle. Now you know, why most of the super heros arent married ! 😀 😀

  9. August 6, 2010 9:00 pm

    cribber!

    • August 7, 2010 9:04 am

      😀 😀

      your present state will remind you of things like crib and all ; quite natural ! 😀

  10. August 6, 2010 9:59 pm

    Now that you have revealed ur TV time strategy, they aren’t going to fall for it the next time the Ladies Hostel fills up . . What then?

    • August 7, 2010 9:05 am

      LOL !!! I shall come up with some other strategy by then ! 😀 😀 I shared this to help the rest of the men who are tortured this way !! 😀 😀

  11. August 6, 2010 11:14 pm

    i reached smewat early!!! now lemme go read 😛

  12. Brat permalink
    August 6, 2010 11:48 pm

    Dude your wife hates ‘The simpsons’??????? 😯
    Gulp! Then i am pretty damn sure she will never let me inside your house ever!

    Btw ur story reminded me of my evil granny who used to freak me out in the middle of the night! 👿
    I usually had the habit of watching late night TV shows(Simpson’s ,johnny bravo & friends on star world n cartoon network) in the comfort of my floor mat in the hall of my house while i was in India!And it was during tht time when she used to sneak frm behind & place a Plastic chair right infront of the TV and sit right there just to block my view & off course to annoy me! Once she almost placed the damn chair right on my face! 👿

    FYI my granny hated me & im not trying to be mean to her or anything,but it was the truth man! She used to curse me like every single day! I dont know y 😦 She was 90 something and she would still try to beat me up with the wooden cane of hers! 😦

    She died like 3 years ago & im sure she will be the first person waiting in hell to receive me!
    🙄

    • August 7, 2010 9:11 am

      She doesnt hate Simpsons; she hates me watching it ! 😀 😀 😀 ; basically, she doesnt understand the jokes in Simpsons and she says its too adult rated ! 😛

      Thats one evil granny you had; no wonder you turned out like this bro !! 😀 😀 but what did you do to her to make her torture you that way ??? There is no smoke without fire you see ! 😀

      D’oh, shes waiting for you in hell ??? But dont worry man, we shall fight together with your granny IN HELL !!! 😀 😀

      But you know what, I somehow cant buy this – “watching late night TV shows(Simpson’s ,johnny bravo & friends on star world n cartoon network)” 😀 😀 😀 😀

      • August 7, 2010 1:30 pm

        LOL !!! Simpsons jokes are adult rated for you ???? 🙄 🙄

        • August 7, 2010 2:56 pm

          So, you havnt watched Simpsons, huh? They even describe a persons anatomy and also show love making in their cartoons !!! Now, dont make me write more ! 😀 😀

      • Brat permalink
        August 8, 2010 11:21 pm

        Im innocent i tell ya!!! Innocent!!!

        Well ..except for..this.. one time..when…err.. well i was soo bored one day..so i decided to train my 3 year old nephew , the art of ‘Koombil adi’ by making him watch many suresh gopi movies and a few ‘DECEMBER that’ dialogues!

        2 days later when my granny was stooping around n walking with her cane in the garden this little devil having inherited all my devilish charm & ‘kurutu buddhi, pounced upon granny’s back like a hungry cheetah and started beating her up with his elbow!

        And i watched all this frm behind the window…It was soo cutee 😛 😛 :P!!
        And granny was like soo anoyyed n pissed off !! She got soo mad & tried to shake him off as if it was some crazy cat tht was stuck on her head! 😀 😀 😀

        My eyes were filled with tears after this incident! i was soo proud of my shishyan! 😛

        • August 9, 2010 10:46 am

          Oh crap; there is another one like you in this world !!!

          Beware o earthlings, Karate Brat isnt alone !

          • August 9, 2010 9:12 pm

            i wonder if KArate Brat #2 also has his clothes stolen

    • deepa permalink
      August 7, 2010 6:19 pm

      brattuuu ??
      where and how have u been ?

      • August 7, 2010 7:38 pm

        Cant you see? someone stole his clothes !!! 😀 😀

        • Brat permalink
          August 8, 2010 1:33 am

          FYI i removed it myself! And do u think anyone has the guts to steal THE Karate brat’s clothes???? athinu avan veendum janikanam! buhahahhahahaaaa!!

          Its damn hot man! Didnt u hear abt the solar tsunami thts goin to hit the earth soon? Err.. i was preparing myself for the apocalypse..! 🙄

          • August 8, 2010 7:57 am

            You didn’t tell anyone about how the Bachchan’s and the Ambani’s stripped you off on top of Burj Khalifa?? 😯 You want me to write a post about it, so that the world gets to know the truth? mrgreen:

            Vim : ROFLMAO and I am not kidding !! Please write a post on this, puhlleeeezzz ! ! 😀 😀 😀

          • deepa permalink
            August 8, 2010 7:08 pm

            Right now , I see KARATE BRAT sans the KARATE …. so possibly, the clothes are stolen ….. or , is it a case of the Emperor’s New Clothes ????????????????????????????

            • Brat permalink
              August 8, 2010 10:38 pm

              well.. i decided to quit karate and try my luck in Turkish oil wrestling!!! So there u go! Thts the mystery behind my missing clothes! any more questions?
              👿

          • August 10, 2010 1:18 pm

            dont u have a blog of ur own..ever since ur guest posts here…i was trying to find it out..but in vain!

            • Brat permalink
              August 11, 2010 2:25 am

              ehhh?? why r u trying to find me?
              cant u see im meditating over here?

            • August 11, 2010 2:32 am

              Verbie he is one of those Kuruthamketta Chekkan who likes to vayanokkals at Ladies Hostel :mrgreen:

    • August 8, 2010 8:00 am

      One thing that I am 100% sure of is that I will be there in HELL but the doubt is whether it will be to fight along with you and Vimmu against your granny OR side with your granny to beat the hell out of you 😳

      • Brat permalink
        August 8, 2010 11:33 pm

        @yakshi

        u know yakshis cant enter hell! They r denied visa in hell & heaven! they r just mindless creatures tht wander around on earth with their fake tooth and terrorize innocent people!
        So i dont have to worry abt u coming to Hell.. yakshi! buahahaha!

        • August 9, 2010 10:47 am

          Well said Brat !!! 😀 😀 😀 I am glad you are using facts to win arguments these days 😀 😀

        • August 11, 2010 4:45 am

          Did someone say ‘FAKE tooth’ ? :mrgreen:
          Where’s my client? 😉 😉

          • August 11, 2010 8:47 am

            CB I need a psychiatrist also to prove that I have brains coz he said brainless and fake tooth. We will sue him for the exact amount it took to build the Burj Khalifa in Bratu’s neighbourhood 😛

            Dai Brat see ya in court now!!!

            • August 11, 2010 1:49 pm

              @ sakshi : Theres nothing wrong in what he said ! You are brainless; the whole world knows that ! You seriously need to consult a psychiatrist !! 😀 😀

  13. August 7, 2010 12:00 am

    LOL 🙂 Very funny post! Can imagine your condition. And what a funda about men searching for stuff 🙄

  14. August 7, 2010 12:12 am

    OYE u duffer!!!! ill observe “vraths” tht she gets to read ths post of urs! so tht ur TV trick is spoilt….nd u keep searching fr ur things coz u dnt have “COMMON SENSE”
    u sleep in th bathroom!!! and want to replace bindis onto chairs???? u dnt find stuffs coz
    u search ur keys n th gas stove! nt in th key holder where we ‘logically place’! u search ur shoes in th bedroom, beneath th sofa….except on the shoe rack! wat else do u expect???
    instead of sitting nd watching ‘simpsons’ reading ‘tinkle’ hve sme logical thought! nd thn cme nd cmplain of hvng ur wife around!!! kaa kaashinu kollilla! uppetha …panjasaara etha thirichariyaan pattilla! ottakku kidanna kaattu poya ariyilla…ennittu kuttam parayaan vannirikkunnu!! sho! its 12 n th night already…if only i had sme more time!! kure koodi cheetha paranjittu povaamaayirunnu!!! ente guruvaayurappa! ee post laxmide kannil peduthane!!…. 😛 😛 !

    • August 7, 2010 9:28 am

      LOL, I actually dont mind her reading it. I havnt written anything out of imagination 😀 😀 😀

      I shall come up with new strategies to watch TV; its a matter of survival, you see 😀 😀

      What has common sense got to do with searching stuffs? you just need a little memory ! 😀

      So eby keeps keys on the gas stove and shoes underneath the bed, huh ? 😀 😀 I mean, they cant be mine, because I am a lot more civilised than that ! 😀 😀

      see, this is where you girls go wrong; Simpsons is not a cartoon for kids; watch it atleast once and you will know ! 😀 😀 The kind of adult scenes they show in that will embarass even a bollywood movie !! 😀 😀 and reading tinkle, I left it long back; I prefer your blog now to tinkle 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

      and all that in malayalam, I repeat, I am a more civilised person than you think 😀 😀 But I know, you are speaking out of your personal experiences ! But I pity Eby; I havre to see you only in the comments, he has to see you everyday, day and night…day and night…..day and night !!! Every husband has a sad story to tell ! 😀

      • August 7, 2010 12:45 pm

        im writing a post RIGHT now~! just wait and watch!

        • August 7, 2010 2:59 pm

          LOL !! but whats the use? This is the problem; you cant stand the opposite sex writing facts about you all ! 😀 😀

  15. August 7, 2010 8:44 am

    “How would you feel if we shifted your bindhi from the mirror to, say, a chair??” Imagining that and LMAO!

    Good one this. Came back after a long time. Enjoyed it!

    • August 7, 2010 9:07 am

      Oyy, welcome back ! 😀

      Thanks for coming back: I thought you were in some kind of break ! Checked your blog now and looks like you are blogging again ! 😀

      • August 12, 2010 6:29 am

        🙂 I’m going to stay here for a looong time.

        I always take breaks. The word break is a substitute for “I’m too lazy to put ideas into writing.” So what the hell, I just go read others’ such as yours. 🙂

        • August 12, 2010 5:54 pm

          LOL, I mean, from now on, for you its going to be LAL !! 😀 😀 😀

  16. August 7, 2010 9:08 am

    Oh ho ho-NOW I have learned some good strategies abt monopolising the TV time! Good good ! keep telling us how to do these things and soon the home arena will be totally belonging to the women folk! 😀

    Oh god! The story of lost things big and small! Tell me again! My life revolves around this kissa every morning and evening! Now how can u be so heartless and blame us? ! We actually help u organise ur over disorganised life and THIS is what we get for gratitude- a post abt our helpfulness! Tch tch! By the way I had suggested women go on a strike and stop cleaning! I am sure men will continue their endless search even then! Don’t you agree ladies? Vimmmuu-unmai agavai- Yenna pilla pa ithu!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀

    • August 7, 2010 9:16 am

      Oh, so you are back with your women strike, huh? Our houses used to clean and tidy even when the women arent around ! 😀 It might not appear neat to you, but we were satisfied with the way the house is.

      and its not me, all the guys agree to what I had written; one guy in office literally cried laughing after going through this. he said this happens every day in his home and he is yet to get his check book ! 😀 😀

      I know I betrayed the guy folks by letting out a strategy; but its ok, I will find out another way to keep you all away from the TV room. Buhahahahhaha!!!

      We arent against your obsessive complusive disorder of keeping it clean, WHY ON EARTH DO YOU HAVE TO MOVE OUR STUFFS FROM WHERE THEY ARE ???

      • August 7, 2010 12:18 pm

        OCD ??? What nonsense! It is a necessity to keep life peaceful at home! Or else life would be piece piece ! The guy cried? Give him a box of tissues-I a sure it is out of guilt! 😛

        Anyways, men always think they are better off without the mother/sister /wife etc in their life! Nalavangaluku kalamai illai pa!

        • August 7, 2010 3:01 pm

          LOL, he wasnt crying out of guilt. He was laughing so hard and cried ; and seeing that I was so satisfied !! 😀 😀

          We never said we are better off without you all; atleast I dont 😀 I am also not complaining about your OCD ! but why do you need to move our stuffs and keep it a place where you forget later ?? 😀 😀

  17. August 7, 2010 10:27 am

    I am sorry that I couldn’t come and rescue you from them. Really sorry about that. I agree…I agree…I agree – completely. The hairpins that you find in the sofas after they’ve done the damage, the long strands of hair, which they refuse to own once they detach themselves, their incessant need to feed us all the time…
    I’d say men won’t have a paunch if women didn’t rule men at homes!

    Great post, Vimmuu beta.
    Gorakh Nath.

    • August 7, 2010 3:03 pm

      LOL, glad you didnt come; or there wouldve been another post similar to this. We just cant do anything, can we ? 😀

      Yeeyyyy, another age old mystery solved – Why men develop paunch ??? 😀 😀 😀 😀

      Thanks ji. But you know what, please stop using that ‘beta’ and gamma; it makes me look soooo young 😀 😀 😀 😀

      • August 7, 2010 7:20 pm

        That (young) you are Vimmu beta:)
        Anybody’s young to an old dead man.
        Your posts are “fun”doo, as the young people say – I can’t match up to them – mine are old and dusty. That’s why Vicky and Joy help me out.
        Take care and stay away from the Ladies Hostel.
        -Gorakh Nath.

        • August 7, 2010 7:37 pm

          LOL !!! I am trying my best to stay away from everythings that feminine these days ! 😀 😀 😀

          and not kidding, you are as fundoo as the rest of us here ! 😀

  18. August 7, 2010 12:21 pm

    A fantastic fun read with loads of salt & pepper added to the facts to make it all the more spicy 😉 😉

    I was 😆 😆 on reading that had the traffic police allowed you’d attempt to drive a bike with three ladies and yourself in one go 😆 😆

    Tip #7 was THE BEST 😀

    I must actually thank you for this post, for you threw light on so many of hubby’s traits whenever he gets caught in a similar situation. I had never understood till date why he was so restless to go out, going out of his way to fetch grocery or anything for that matter whenever we have guests 😉 😉

    I know my hubby holds the very same theory as you on the fact of us women being cleanliness freaks displacing the things men keep safely 😉 😉

    A fantastic read 😀 😀 😀

    • August 7, 2010 3:08 pm

      Nooooooooooooooo…….no salt and pepper CB. I swear, these are nothing but facts written straight out of my heart !!!

      You actually imagined that bike scene, didnt you ? 😀 😀 😀

      ya, I actually guilty for revealing that secret. I was thinking of doing something good for the guys, but I guess it backfired me now ! 😀 😀 Both men and women will hunt me down for the post now ! 😀

      Thanks CB. Would you do me a favor; get your hubby read this !! I need men to back me up ! 😀 😀

  19. Vinayan permalink
    August 7, 2010 4:45 pm

    hahahhaaha… vimmuuuu vimmuuuu…so finally quite the watchman job @ the ladies hostel… hehehe…man the way u explained it sure is scary….im havin 2nd and 3rd thoughts on getting married…heheheh…

    Vim : 2nd and 3rd thoughts arent enough buddy !!! you will need more to escape !! 😀 😀

    so the missus dint leave u??? Lax – wer r u? does she even know all this comin on ur blog…heheh?

    Vim : she did read. surprisingly, she didnt react ! probably, she mite erupt like a volcano some day ! 😀 All the best to myself 😀 😀

    i seriously agree…women do have a super talent to come and talk any stuff wen u r watchin the most interesting part of a show on tv or readin a book…man…i dont wanna imagine such a scenario for me in future…scared to death…

    Vim : LOL, your life has been in a ladies hostel for a while now. I can understand buddy !!! Imagine one more coming in soon . Buhahahahhaha 😀 😀 😀

    i just hate it wen thee bindis stare back at u from a mirror…grrrrrrrrrr…

    Vim : I know ! 😀

    well guess u somehow lived through…be prepared for the next time it happens… ;p

    Vim : Next time, huh? I am going to make an excuse and stay in some nearby hotel ! 😀 😀

    all d best…and im gonna ask lax to come here and read this post…
    njoi njoi
    Vinay

    Vim : eri theeyil petrol ozhikkaney !! 😀 😀

    • Vinayan permalink
      August 8, 2010 8:56 am

      Waaaat she dint react???? really….watchout da…enikku ninnodulla sneham kondu parayukayaa…nee sookshicho….ninte kaaaryam katta puka – dense smoke

      yeah mine has been like tht for 2yrs now…but thankfully its manageable…i dont dare think how it will be wen one new person comes in….ente kaaaryam katta puka… heheh 🙂

      so next time u gonna run off to some hotel eh? all d best….
      lax…..ithonnum kutti kanunnille???????? ariyunnilleee????
      eri theeyil oru 2-3 barrel petrol koodi irikkatte heheh

      • August 9, 2010 10:49 am

        It has always been dense smoke Vinayaaaa ! 😀 😀 is there anything katta than katta puka ??? that will be your situation after you get married ! 😀 😀

        now, tell me one thing, are you on my side or laxmis ??? 😀

        • Vinayan permalink
          August 9, 2010 2:07 pm

          i dont think things can become worse than katta puka – i guess the katta puka is a reference to the smoke rising out of one’s funeral pyre….heheheh

          i kinda have a feeling how its gonna be in my case heheh…

          Vim : and on that day, I shall be so used to all the torture that I will be laughing seeing you go through all that !! 😀 😀 😀

          well obviously im on ur side…u r one of my long time buddies…pakshe enghilum …entha parayaaa…ninte avide vannal kanji kittanamenghil njan laxmi-ye support cheyyande pattillallo…so ippo njan avalude sidilaa…heheh (plz let her knw this k) heheh

          Vim : kashmalaaaaaaaa !!! 😀

  20. August 7, 2010 5:35 pm

    What u call my house vimmu all 4 females (myself,2 daughters and my mom) sometimes my m-law also comes and stays with us.Poor my husband also thinks like u.

    • August 7, 2010 7:40 pm

      Seee, every husband has a sad story to tell !! 😀 😀 Seriously, thats his case 24/7 , huh? I wouldve escaped to the Himalayas if I was him ! 😀 😀

      • August 9, 2010 2:43 pm

        Vimmuuu! I wish and sincerly pray u hv atleast 3 daughters and they leave their hair-clips and hair-bands and dolls and bindi and bangles and even their pretty shoes in every nook and corner of the house 😛

        • August 9, 2010 7:38 pm

          the only chance is then to have triplets, because the moment I have a daughter, I shall stop everything else ! 😀 😀 😀

  21. August 7, 2010 8:14 pm

    ROFL Bro 😆

    Never had to face a group of ladies yet.. 😀 😀

    Seems like thats some gyan for me before marriage… 😀 😀

    • August 9, 2010 10:50 am

      Ya, from now on, I am planning to charge for gyaans like this 😀 😀 😀

      to face these kind of ladies, enter a real ladies hostel; you will know ! 😉

  22. ajay permalink
    August 7, 2010 9:48 pm

    I can’t agree more with you. I am with you completely man and my sympathies for you for being the warden of ladies hostel 😀 You know what, I too have survived in a ladies hostel! Me, my mother, three cousins and my sister. 5 females and me a single male!! I felt like I was in an alien planet! My cousins and sister robbed me of my laptop, all the money in my wallet and left me completely broke. I thought let’s watch some TV but even there, the little cousin must get her daily dose of all the stupid serials! Females everywhere! Can you imagine what the home would have been like? Lots of clothes, and so many make up stuff that I would have opened a cosmetics store. Worse, they gave me lots of funda on how to maintain skin, hair and all that! I wish you could come to rescue me 😀 I was on the verge of losing my sanity! Anyway couldn’t you write those tips earlier?? That would have saved me 😀 😀 So sorry that your plan to send your missus with her mom backfired! 😀 Keep writing man. I need posts like these to keep sane 😀 😀

  23. August 8, 2010 12:36 am

    Duh.
    I agree with you ONLY on the “searching for stuff” part. I always tell my mom and the husband….not to clean the house…and if they do, to leave my stuff alone :d
    But for the rest of the post, DUH !

    • August 9, 2010 10:59 am

      rest of the post is DUH ?? that means, you watch serials too ??? I pity Mr.Sun then ! 😀

      • August 9, 2010 4:21 pm

        No, i do not watch serials. In fact, I dont watch much TV anyways…except for FRIENDS… 😀
        But still, the post is duh!

        • August 9, 2010 7:45 pm

          Good…FRIENDS and Simpsons are the only shows I watch ! 😀

          and you are Duh ! 😛

  24. August 8, 2010 8:32 am

    After reading your prison diary I really feel so sorry for you, the way one feels for a caged Chimpu 😥 I know you won’t believe when I say “I understand how you felt” but it’s true 😯 I never have any problems when my husband’s bachelor friends pay us a visit and stay put for days. They either stick to the couch or to their room or in the worst case in the bathroom 😛 But the moment some of them tags along their wives I know am gonna loose few of my left over screws. They follow me around everywhere as if like they were my lost tail 😳 They peep under the bed, open all the cabinets in the kitchen, walk into my wardrobe…….the list goes on and then have the nerve to suggest how I should be doing things 😥

    Vim : They peep under the bed??? what are you doing under the bed??? 😀 😀 😀

    Ok now that the sorrying part is over let’s get back to business :mrgreen:

    Vim : Oh no ! 😀

    “Most of my senses were deprived from anything that was male.”……hmmm can you elaborate on that? I mean specify clearly about which senses did you loose and which senses you gained??

    Vim : Its mentioned na? was it not evident in the post??? eyes – female stuffs, tv serials, ears – female shrieks, nose – all those scent (suffocating already) 😀 😀

    “They say a few stories are related to them in some way or the other; but all I get to see in those TV soaps are extra marital affairs, idiotic husbands,….” There you said it!! My guess is your missus watch it bcoz of the IDIOTIC HUSBAND connection 😦

    Vim : LOL !!! I didnt see that coming !! 😀 😀 good one ! 😀 Probably, I should edit that part in the post now ! 😀

    None of them thought about putting a bag of Salt and Pepper in the drink before serving you? 👿

    Vim : I am a lovable creature, you see ! 😀 😀

    Well I totally agree with your theory about Why men search for things. I have seen that the husband finds all his stuff even after putting it away in a crazy place a year before 🙄 and if I shift his stuff neatly to a place it takes him ages to find it, for example – He hops mad searching for his pen when I take it off from the stove top and pin it on to the pocket of the shirt he is wearing 😈 👿
    What I don’t understand is that why can’t you men choose a decent and appropriate place to unload your stuffs? …and then you blame us women??

    Vim : whats wrong with a stove top? The pen is safe on the stove top; he knows that you dont normally enter the kitchen! 😀 😀 😀

    Btw you didn’t think of standing up among the seated 4 missus, clearing your throat and sing Chaiyya Chaiyya in that double voice?? I am sure they would have fled from the apartment like Bees whose hive was hit by a stone :mrgreen:

    Vim : Hmmm, now thats an idea !!! I am going to use this strategy next time 😀 😀 😀 Thanks ! Never knew you would be of any help ! 😀

    Haa I rest my comment here!

    Vim : Seriously ???

  25. August 8, 2010 8:37 am

    Ps: I clicked “you like this” just so that my shoe can be displayed up there :mrgreen:

  26. August 8, 2010 6:00 pm

    This is the real punishment, Vimmuuu, watching the dumb serials! Even I went through this when my husband’s chiththi and her daughter stayed her for TEN days and I had to watch serials from morning 10.30 to 1.30 (they took break for afternoon naps, thank god!) and evening 6.30 to 10.30! They would discuss about the dialogues, during ad breaks in LOUUUUUd voices without reducing the volume of the TV! The worst punishment for me and my husband was missing ‘Balika Vadhu’ which is the only serial we watch, which is in Hindi and for them it is ‘kaare boore’! We had to record and watch in our bedroom at midnight!

    Vim : LOL !!! Poor you !!! you had to go through a lot to watch your fav stuffs; that happens when you have so many guests at home 😀 😀 😀

    ‘my mom bombards me with all her questions and doubts on my whereabouts only when I get to watch TV, but she gets irritated even if the land phone rings during those tear jerkers of hers !’ hahahahahahha!

    Vim : You do this to your kids, dont you ? 😀 😀 😀

    ‘How would you feel if we shifted your bindhi from the mirror to, say, a chair??’hahahahaha!

    ‘How I wish if there was something like a google toolbar available at home !’ This is the best line, vimmuuu!

    Women are too soft-natured, vimmuuu, they think that the husband cannot live without them, atleast after marriage!!!! ‘Husband saapppaattukku kashtappaduvaar’, don’t know how they survived before marriage, hotel food suited them in those days – are the husbands really happy when the women go to their mom’s place?! Write a detailed post when your missus goes home for 4-5 months at a stretch…when?!

    Vim : LOL !!! not all husbands, I guess ! 😀 😀 😀 and I understood what you meant by the last sentence ! 😀 😀 😀 You tooo ??? 😛

    I wanted to enjoy reading your post peacefully…am on anti-allergic course now, which makes me sleepy…so, late here! Is the comment long enough?!

    Vim : Thats ok Sandhya, btw, you were on a break, is it ? Long time, no see ! 😀

    • August 9, 2010 1:25 pm

      My husband and sons watch cricket mostly. I watch most of the musical programmes on Sunday…sometimes they discuss with each other about the stage of some current play and roll eyes looking at me because they will not be allowed to disturb me while watching musical programmes!

      Balika Vadhu has become an addiction, you can say! That is just 30 mts 😀 😀 😀 Yes, me too 😀 😀 😀

      Have got some skin allergy and taking treatment…a family wedding…so was busy!

      • August 9, 2010 7:48 pm

        LOL, I knew it !!! its in your DNA to behave that way !!! 😀 😀

  27. August 8, 2010 11:54 pm

    The only guy I know who can be spending a week with a house ful of ladies and still crib about it !!! 😀 😀 😀 hats off to you dude!!! 😛

    Vim : After marriage, spend a week with your five men – your cousin, your hubby, your FIL and your hubbys friend and you will know whats there to crib ! 😀 😀

    As for serials, you have my symapthies. I cannot stand the damn things…no matter what language! (See I told ya there’s some guy’s element to me 😉 )

    Vim : LOL, there are a lot of women here who hates serials 😀 😀 😀 Check the comments 😀

    the traffic officers in Chennai would have a problem with us going quintuple on my bike, even if it was possible!
    ROFL! 😀 I actually imagined this scene and doubled over with laughter! You’re nuts, dude!!! 😀 😀 😀

    Vim : LOL, I knew you would ! 😀 😀 😀

    You have just reminded me the joy of being single….with that entire paragraph on what all you can do when you have the place to yourself without a family!! Dank yew!! 😀 😀 😀

    Vim : No so long buddy !! 😀 😀

    And finally you have discovered the answer to the mystery of how guys lose their stuff!!! Congrats! :mrgreen: 🙄
    I’ve heard men need a pair of ovaries to blame everything on….now I believe it !!! 😛 😛 😀

    Vim : 😯 😀 😀 😀

    • August 9, 2010 10:34 pm

      After marriage, spend a week with your five men – your cousin, your hubby, your FIL and your hubbys friend and you will know whats there to crib
      jesus christ 😯 thats true!!!

      hmm but come to think of it…i would join them in all the guy stuff! 😀 😀 😀 ente swabhavam nokkiyittu parayuvane! 😀 😀 😀 if you cant beat ’em, join ’em ! 😉 😛

      • August 10, 2010 7:07 pm

        LOL, change that proverb; if you cant beat them, get some gundas to beat them up ! 😀

  28. August 9, 2010 11:22 am

    Lol.. can understand your pain wrt TV 🙂 I am scared I will have to face it too, once I get married too 😦 Now that I am with parents, I have monopoly over the TV. And I cant stand those serials too.. but now every other channel broadcasts only such serials..
    And the searching stuff part.. lol.. even if women dont clean, men keep searching for their stuff.. have witnessed it 😛 And I have been to bachelors’ house and it’s probably worse than garbage bin.. how do you guys manage to stay in such messy rooms?!! :O

    • August 9, 2010 11:31 am

      LOL, I always thought you were married, probably, I havnt read too many posts of yours 😀 😀 😀

      Ya, the channel these days broadcasts either serials or reality shows; I m getting fed up watching reality shows even ! 😀 😀 😀

      I have seen horrible bachelor rooms, most of them stink badly too !! I was never like one of them; my stuffs used to be here and there but I was basically a clean man ! 😀

  29. August 9, 2010 2:29 pm

    You are one bold guy and for that I salute you! You complain not only about your beloved wife (she is the only one who will be there to take care of u when u have that ‘kuru’ in an unexplainable part of ur body)but also about her beloved mother…
    Show me the way to your foot….

    • August 9, 2010 7:58 pm

      I even complained about my mom; twice ! 😀 😀 😀

      Guess, you havnt read my other anti-women anti-relationship posts !! 😀 😀 😀 Do go through them (check my reply to one Ajays comment here) and I deserve a Bharat Ratna !! 😀 😀

  30. August 9, 2010 2:40 pm

    :grrrrr u hd to drag Swaram’s husband here 👿 Y did I ever tell u he agrees! All men r born equal. He will agree and so will his grandpa 😛 😛 Baah! the house would be a big garbage-bin without us cleaning it all the time.

    I know many men who see such shows Vimmuuu saar and I don’t 😉 I cn see 2 men sitting close-by discussing all those stories u know 😉 😉

    So, what is the state of the hostel nw 😛 😛

    • August 9, 2010 7:03 pm

      /*what is the state of the hostel*/

      I think it is turned into home now 😀 😀

    • August 9, 2010 8:05 pm

      I needed back up; I dont trust the men here ! 😀 😀 Su has always been of moral support !! Please get him to read this post and it would be great if he could share his views ! 😀

      My cousin has come back and is gonna be there till the month end; but its ok. Not as horrible as the last time ! 😀 😀

      • August 10, 2010 2:35 pm

        So u r nt gng to offer us to stay @ ur place if we come for the Chennai meet 😉 😉

        • August 10, 2010 7:03 pm

          LOL, first decide on the meet and then we shall think about that ! 😀 😀

    • August 10, 2010 2:37 pm

      Ahem .. I must tell Su hw lucky he is 😉
      He can’t find hairpins bindi etc.. etc.. everywhere – He is the one who leaves his things scattered everywhere 😛

  31. soneeta permalink
    August 9, 2010 6:43 pm

    Hmmm…. now that you have told ur secret behind driving the girls away from the tv Mr. Vimmuuu we are not going to fall for it anymore and none of your other ideas will work. And now all the husbands are going to give u a piece of their mind when their tactics doesnt work in driving the ladies away….he ha ha ha

    • August 9, 2010 8:07 pm

      LOL !! I know, I guess with this post, I turned the men also against me now !! 😀 😀 Me and my big mouth, oops, finger ! 😀

  32. August 9, 2010 8:13 pm

    They say a few stories are related to them in some way or the other; Possible. Even if you do not know of any such thing, it could be.

    Moreover, I used to crib about it too but then I realized, Don’t I go and watch Houseful, Badmash Company, Kites and Raavan despite knowing in advance what shit it is going to be. And this after years of experience. We keep watching shit after shit and then write about it and laugh.

    So the same way, Mommies and missuses and sisters and bhabhis too are aware that its crap yet they enjoy watching…

    • August 9, 2010 8:29 pm

      Oxxyyyy boyyy ???? whats this???? even if they are right, you arent supposed to be with them !!! 😀 😀 😀 😀

      out of those movies you mentioned, I stayed back only from Badmaash company !! Sigh 😦

      • August 10, 2010 3:21 am

        Those movies were just examples … I meant ‘of those kinds’ so u know what I mean…. And I am not taking sides here….. Just being a bit rational (unlike me)…. Guess I m old now (sigh)

        • August 10, 2010 7:02 pm

          yeah, you are turning old, Oxyyy !! whatever happened to your young blood that used to boil when you knew I am attacked by girls ! 😀 😀

  33. August 9, 2010 9:46 pm

    Sigh… I’m forever late while commenting on your posts!!

    My husband would agree about the hair pins, hair everywhere! 😛
    it does kind of drives him crazy!
    Serials – dont know much.. dont watch hindi! but, we do watch Simpsons, FRIENDS, and a whole lot of stuff on Star World! 😀

    LOL@ Nalanda getaway! 😛

    But, its difficult to really feel sorry for you! 😛
    Because I support your wife!! 😉

    • August 10, 2010 7:01 pm

      LOL, one reason for that is because I usually publish my posts on Fridays ! 😀 😀 😀 Ask him to read this and get me his feedback, will ya ?

      and I am not expecting any of you girls to support me ! Sigh !! 😦

  34. August 10, 2010 7:00 am

    hahah aliya, my “symbathy” aliyaaaaaaaaaaaa symbathy wonly 😛

  35. August 10, 2010 7:02 am

    aliya, one more thing……….

    if you again want to convert your house into a guys-only, then just let me know, kurachu frds nyaan angottu vedam 😛 😛 😛 😛

    • August 10, 2010 6:59 pm

      😦 atleast I got a lill symbathy now !!! 😀 😀 😀

      and please, your ‘initials’ waala friends, huh? Never !!! Now its only a ladies hostel, your friends will turn it out into a mental asylum !!! 😀 😀 😀

  36. August 10, 2010 2:36 pm

    Check out the trackback – wah wah!

  37. August 11, 2010 12:34 am

    hahahahahhahawhawhaaharhar 😀
    I read it this morning but couldn’t comment. saaari ok.

    talking about tv shows, weekends am glued to Star world and zee cafe. I might go crazy 😦

    • August 11, 2010 1:45 pm

      Ok Ok ; you are forgiven ! 😀 😀 😀

      You might go crazy watching them or not watching them ?? 😀

  38. August 11, 2010 6:16 am

    😆 Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! 😆

    Sorry! Couldn’t help myself.

    Gosh! I feel sorry for you! 😉

    And I think Pratigya and Tere Liye are still ok. Bebo and soaps like that are irritating. 😛

    Anyway, I guess you kind of celebrate now that 75% women have left. 😉 😀

    • August 11, 2010 1:46 pm

      LOL, yeah, the missues constitutes about 75 % 😀 😀 😀

      and laugh all you want to; every Badz has her day ! 😀 😀

  39. August 11, 2010 2:07 pm

    Dude!!! I’m late… But thank goodness, you’re not the Late Vimmu! You’re still alive after facing this torture 🙂

    Seriously what is with women and TV serials… and the ideas you explained seem to be pretty sure to work! I should try them sometimes… except that my wife would pounce on me, grab the remote, and make a pillow out of me forcing me to endure the torture as well since I am in front of the TV.

    And you’re sooooo right about the losing and finding things. Most of the times they claim they returned the thing to its rightful position but they themselves don’t remember what was the rightful position.

    • August 11, 2010 2:29 pm

      Sniff…sniff…..ya, buddy…sniff…you are late !!! They are already done with their molestation !! 😀 😀 😀

      lol, now I know why guys go to the gym !!! another mystery solved, to fight with the wife for the remote that is !!! 😀 😀 😀

      ya, right ful position it seems !! They would keep our stuffs along with theirs and make it look feminine !! 😀 😀 😀

  40. August 11, 2010 8:56 pm

    ROFL!! Stuck indoors with 4 women.. infact Vimmu, had they been teenagers , I am sure you would have reacted differently 😉
    And those TV watching tips of yours…yuck.. so mean!! Poor L!!
    Btw, your persuading L to go back to maika was so much like ‘Ensoy muthalali’ from Agni Nakshatram 🙂
    As for ‘organized chaos’ I really have to agree with u on this!!! I am not a very tidy person, and I like my mess the way it is 🙂

    • August 11, 2010 9:01 pm

      with teenagers, huh ? hmm…now thats what they call a paradise, rt? 😀 😀 😀 😀

      I am not mean; I had to survive ! 😀

      you are a messy person too huh? Good for your hubby ! 😀

  41. August 13, 2010 11:27 pm

    Ha! U clearly are a ladies man dude!:)

    U’d probably make an interesting subject in an MR group study:)

    • August 14, 2010 8:11 am

      ladies man??? me???? nahheeeee

      ok, now stop giving people ideas ! 😀 😀 😀

  42. August 19, 2010 9:30 pm

    How did I miss this one.. I almost have tears laughing so hard. All at your expense. Too funny. One of the funniest posts I’ve read in ages. Ladies hostel.. LoL! 😀 And tell me smthing.. you really used to sleep in the bathroom???? :-O

    • August 20, 2010 6:09 pm

      yeah, yeah, laugh all you want to ! get married and stay with a few guys, you will know what i mean ! 😀 😀 😀

      hmmm…..in the bathroom??? no…I meant, I could do anything like that , no ? 😀 😀

  43. March 23, 2011 4:44 pm

    Hahaha…LMAO

    Its tough to blend with fairer sex

  44. June 1, 2013 8:54 am

    Hello, I enjoy reading all of your article.
    I like to write a little comment to support you.

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