How to rape a popular tag ?

No disclaimers or introduction, you will know what I did with this stupid tag as you read ! 😀

Ten how’s:

1. How did you get one of your scars? – I am sorry, I wont reveal anything related to my anatomy !

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? – By answering to sick phone calls which reminded me of my age !

3. How are you feeling at this moment? – I need options – 1) sad, 2) happy, 3) constipated, 4) grumpy !

4. How did your night go last night? – go? Ooh, I watched my poor night pack its bag and go on a horse back.

5. How did you do in high school? – do what in high school ?

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? – I stole it from James Bond.

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? – everyday; in the mirror.

8. How much money did you spend last month? – how dare you ask me this question? The whole world knows that I am financially handicapped ! So, don’t rub it in; sadists !

9. How old do you want to be when you get married? – you mean, again? As if I didn’t learn from one grave mistake !

10. How old will you be at your next birthday? – 18 yrs.

Nine what’s:

1. Your mothers name? – Queen Elizabeth

2. What did you do last weekend? – I tried climbing Mount Everest.

3. What is the most important part of your life? – Oxygen!! I realized this while climbing Mt. Everest !

4. What would you rather be doing? – Eh ?

5. What did you last cry over? – on Feb 7th 2010 . I am still crying !!! (for the uninitiated, I got married on that day)

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? – sandwiches from Subway and a cookie !

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? – Tolerance

8. What are you worried about? – this damn tag !

9. What did you have for breakfast? – burrrrp! I have no clue on what I just had. Wait, lemme ask her !

Eight have you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a boyfriend? – hehe, what all tough questions ! 😀

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? – I could start a tutorial on this !

3. Have you ever been out of the country? – on my own or deported ?

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? – lol, you aren’t new to V-Lokam, are you? 😛

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? – oh ya, but I am used to it now ! 😀

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? – Even if I wanted to, the moral police and the Sena gundas will never let me ! sigh ! I need to go abroad to try this ! 😀

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? – I dont mind. But you know what, I am a typical Indian male; I am supposed to date only younger women or else I would have half of the country behind me !

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? – Yes, planning to come up with a review of that book pretty soon (not kidding folks !)

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? – Albert Einstein

2. Who was the last person you texted? – Jennifer Aniston.

“please don’t keep calling me this way, I am not interested in you anymore” was my text.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with? – Sir Stephen Hawking

4. Who was the last person to call you? – Jennifer Aniston (43 Missed calls )

5. Who did you last hug? – a mad elephant !

6. Who is the last person who texted you? – Jennifer Aniston.

“Please pick my call” was her text.

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? – Crap! I need a life-line for this, pls !

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live? – On my cupboard and above my wash basin (refer the 7th answer in ‘Ten hows’)

2. Where did you last go? – Bermuda Triangle

3. Where did you last hang out? – I and Sir Stephen Hawking went out for a bungee jump (we were literally hanging out).

4. Where did you go to school? – Pluto; it used to be a planet back then !

5. Where is your favorite place to be? – The Lost city of Atlantis

6. Where did you sleep last night? – At Megan Fox’s home !

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you? – Do you think anyone would like me? 😀

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? – Of course, when I wanted to hit on my neighbors wife, I wished I was Johnny Depp ! and I wished I was Mike Tyson everytime my neighbor caught me doing that.

3. Do you know the muffin man? – Yes, we studied together. What do you want with him?

4. Does the future scare you? – yeah, only if she wears makeup ? 😀

5. Do your parents know about your blog? – My parents are very much sane. Do you want me to elaborate on that ? 😀

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? – Their fate !

2. Why did you get into Blogging? – I like irritating people.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? – My name means ‘pure’ it seems. But now I am sure even they are wondering ‘why’ ! 😀

4. Why are you doing this survey? – ok. now THIS is a question !

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be? – to never put on weight ! 😀

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? – not have that pizza last night. My stomach is really upset now !

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? – Laptop with a built in internet connection

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? – Pass (how convenient, huh? :D)

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? – No, unless that someone I love is stuck in my hair !

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now? – You need me to lie or tell the truth ?