The BIGGEST picture
Excerpts from yesterdays ‘Finish it to win it’ award ceremony.
CB : Now, please put your hands together for the winner…..(drum rolling music from behind)…… Its none other than Vimmuuu for his ‘The Big Picture’. Lets all give him a big round of applause!
(the audience in chorus) Booo booooo boooooooo boooo booooooo !!!! Loserrr !!!
Vimmuuu gets onto the stage wearing a black shirt, a red silk tie and a pink lungi. He accepts the trophy and certificate from CB and demands for the mike. CB hands him over the mike and goes to the backstage.
Vimmuuu : Ahem ahem…mike testing…1…2..3…
People, I am speechless…..I really mean it, I don’t have a speech with me…I wasn’t prepared for this…oh, that’s only because of the time difference…she said she would announce it on 23rd, but CB (turning towards her), its still 22nd here…next time, remind me to get you a clock that displays the Indian time….(turning towards the audience) when CB said shes going to announce the winners on 23rd, I got a Tux rented…apparently, the Tux was previously used by Mr.Clinton and you see, I didn’t want to take a risk…so gave it for laundry which I was supposed to collect tomorrow morning…..now you all would have to excuse me for this pink lungi of mine…..I didn’t have time to press my other clothes and I had to rush…Moreover, lungi is one of Indias traditional attire…its time Indians take their own culture abroad rather than looking like butlers at award functions… I had a tough time with the security convincing him that I am a blogger and I am the winner of the contest…..what do they know about malayalis, huh?…..I have already recommended CB to get a few Indian security guards next time….. anyway, on the speech, I was to work on it and also include a few pity words for the losers tonight…..(sigh! ) but what to do…I guess, I will have to end this acceptance speech with just a few words….
I take this opportunity to thank all the bloggers who voted for me…and for those who didn’t, tch..tch…you just wasted an opportunity to vote for the winner…buhahhahaha…
CB (whispering from the backstage) : psst..psst…vimmuuu….what are you doing? You are supposed to be humble when you accept an award.
Vimmuuu (covers the mike with his palm) : oh, I am sorry. Can I say something in my regional language and talk about my mom and god? Would that be humble enough?
CB : Just DONT be yourself. That would do!
Vimmuuu : ok (and turns towards the audience with a fake smile)
so, where was I ? …oh ya…I thank all bloggers who voted for me, I thank CB for giving me this wonderful opportunity to participate…I thank Will, Rose, Mary, Jasmine, Betty and most importantly the little lamb for remaining sportive throughout the contest… But I was expecting this victory. After all what are bribes for….(pauses and then turns towards CB and tells ‘oops’)….(turns to the audience again and continues) as I was saying, this award is very special…You guys voted for my story when you had no clue that it was mine…..and for the same reason, I am dedicating this to all the hungry kids in the world……this award is very special……You guys took time from your busy schedules to read 19 different stories and then vote for me..…for the same reason, I am dedicating this to all the endangered species in the world……this award is very special….
CB (interrupts): Vimmuuu, its so boring. For heavens sake, please leave the arena.
Vimmuuu : But I just started…..
CB: You speak some more, and this award is going to somebody else
Rakesh, from the audience, lifts his hand and shouts “Me”
CB : you didn’t even write a story and you have the guts to raise your hand! You know what you should do, update your dying blog.
Rakesh : Damn ! I atleast commented in everybodys fiction! I deserve an award for that!
Scorpria : No, you didn’t comment in mine !
Rakesh : I don’t understand Russian; that’s why !
Scorpria : Grrrr…..think twice when you step into my blog next ! Hmmmppphh !
Vimmuuu (not listening to all that) : CB, can I finish my speech, the best is yet to come ! I have dedications to flood and earthquake victims, global warming, and all the foreign players participating in the CWG.
CB : But you said you didn’t prepare anything ?
Vimmuuu : Psst…psst…That’s how everybody starts their speech, right? Besides, I am the winner. People here are waiting to listen to me. Now if you will please excuse me (pushes CB aside)
As I was saying folks…this award is special…
Punam (from the audience) : We really don’t want to listen to you. Please pass the mike to CB; I need to know about her next contest so that I can prepare well. I just love contests!
CB grabs the mike from Vimmuuu. Vimmuuu goes ‘heyyyyy’ in the background.
CB : Very soon guys. Very soon. This wouldn’t have been possible if not for you all. When I started the contest, I really had my doubts on how people are going to react to it and if I would have any participants at all. You cant imagine how happy I am at this moment. I am glad everything went well without any confusions and politics; I am so relieved, cant you see me flying? I even got to know a few wonderful bloggers through this. Keeping in mind the tremendous response I received, I am planning to conduct similar contests every month !!!
All the bloggers in the hall falls unconscious. Voltage fluctuates. A few lights go pooofff. The ceiling cracks.
Vimmuuu (to CB) : Look what you did with your speech !
CB : Oops. But they were already exhausted listening to you; so I am just partly responsible.
Vimmuuu : Whatever, give me back the mike. I am not done yet!
CB : For what? Theres nobody left in the hall.
Vimmuuu : Oh, that’s what you think. Look to your right.
Rakesh and Scorpria are seen pulling each others hair and running in and around the exit.
Vimmuuu snatches the mike from a shocked CB and
“As I saying folks, this award is special…..You guys voted….
For the late comers :
This is CBs story – Finish it to win it
This is how I completed it – The big picture
And for people who still don’t believe that an entry as silly as that can win, heres the proof — Finish it to win it – Grand Finale
and oohhh, the trophies and certificate I won :
1 ) For the fiction
2) For the guessing game – Meet the Tale Twisters