Part 2 – My first strip show !!!

Continued from Part 1 —-

The wall while getting on top would have been only 8 foot or so, but I had to actually go a long way down, like about 10 foot. And, while jumping, this was what I was shouting inside my mind—- “ Vimaaall, you are NOT 7,  you ARE 27” !!!!

Thummmppp !!! Thud ! Thud ! Thud !!

At first, those sounded more like beats from the concert. But no, the sounds were from within. I actually fell on my legs like a cat, but my ankle slipped as soon as I landed, lost my balance and there I was on the ground. I gathered myself and tried walking, but I couldn’t. Same pain, same spot, same ligament tear problem; but this time, it was on the right foot. I limped all the way to the concert and watched it, standing along with a hyper enthusiastic crowd, knowing how bad my leg is. It was worse than the last time, but I didn’t have to visit a doc as I knew what exactly to do and there were a few leftover medicines. I decided to quit the gym, didn’t even go there to say I am quitting; can’t get an extension every time I wish, right?

With each passing day, I was growing horizontally and that became a concern for everybody around me. But you know what, I have a power; ya, like a super power. I have this ability to reduce my weight whenever I need to go for a trip or if there is an important event that has photo sessions. For example, I reduced around 5 kgs for my Europe trip and almost 3 kgs for my Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Goa trip. It just comes naturally to me; most of the times, a crash diet and at times, brisk walking for 1 hour would work. Earlier, the crash diet used to be the infamous GM diet, but these days, it’s just a simple fruits diet. I realized later how bad these crash diets are for the body as a whole and the only way to get rid of all that fat is to burn them by working out. I maintained my weight for almost three years doing all this, but never reduced because of the frequent intake of junk food. Yeah, somehow all those junk food are good only during ‘input’, and never during ‘output’!!!

My walking sessions became irregular when I reached Kerala, blame it on the unpredictable weather here. So, to avoid walking and getting wet in the rains, I bought a cross trainer from a friend who was leaving Trivandrum. He used it as a medium to dry his clothes and it seems, his daughter was having fun with it playing seesaw. He would’ve decided to part with it either because the deal was a steal for him, or because he could finally see somebody making use of it. Well, the latter didn’t happen. I used to work on the cross trainer initially like a kid who gets a new toy, but gradually, the frequency of using it reduced. And, before even I could realize, I started ignoring its presence in the room just like how couples end up being in a long loveless marriage. My dad once got so worried that he said, “Vimal, will you please use that exercise thing you have? We are no longer bothered about your weight; we have lost hope. But the machine, that needs to be used, or else, it would lose its lubrication and you would’ve to sell it for scraps. Use the machine atleast for the machines sake; show some sympathy towards it”!!! What to do; at times your brain, however old you are, goes back to those teenage years where you just ignore all these kinda advices, especially from parents!

But honestly, I started feeling the pinch too. None of my clothes were fitting me again and I ended up getting new formal trousers every three months; the mirrors and the cameras were refusing to include me in the same frame; had to do something urgently before I end up looking like a furniture at home! After spending considerable amount of weeks thinking on the options, I finally decided to join a gym. I, first, approached a celebrity gym which was near my place. They conducted a complete body assessment and scared me so much so that I kept wondering if I entered a gym or a Horror Maze in one of those amusement parks! However, inspite of all the marketing gimmicks, I didn’t join the place because of the exorbitant rates. Meanwhile, I happened to tell my brother about this gym and when I told him that actor Mohanlal goes to this place, he commented with his usual sarcasm, “ Mohanlal, huh ! Now you know how good that gym is!”

After a few gym hunts in the locality, I finally joined an awesome place. Those guys were less than a month old, with all the latest equipments and a good team of trainers. Moreover, they gave me an exciting introductory offer which was too hard to resist. For a change, I visited this place regularly and that too, working out every day for almost 2 hrs continuously. This gym was on my way to office and so, it was convenient to visit the place when I return home. Things went well, and I started showing some improvement in a months’ time. Oh, you know very well what happens after that sentence!!! Yeah, all good things need to end and blah blah!

I really don’t know how, but I managed to ‘earn’ a back ache during one of those sessions at the gym. For all I remember, this pain was there right from the second week. I thought it was just another muscle pain, from all the workouts, and chose to ignore it. It wasn’t hurting when I walk, or sit; but it did, when I bend backwards. I informed the trainers about the situation, and even they passed it off as a usual muscle pain. I kept working out this way for almost a month, but after a point, the pain became beyond ignorable. I consulted a physiotherapist at the gym; they had their own exclusive physiotherapist clinic upstairs and I used to wonder why! This guy took me to a huge room that had just two beds and a few ultra sound instruments, and asked me stay there. After a while, he brought in another guy and I had to explain the whole thing with flashbacks. They looked at each other for a second and :

Physio 1 (with a straight face) : Ok, remove your clothes!

Me : Whaaaat ??? (5 sec pause) Why????

Physio 2 : We need to see where the pain is.

Me : I already showed that to you. It’s right over here (pointing at the pain area on my back)

Physio 2 : Yeah, we know. But we need to see you move.

Me : Really? Can’t you just treat me without all this?

Physio 1 : Not possible. Remove your shirt and walk to and fro. And, stop only when we ask you to.

Me : (I walked like a model on a fashion show ramp, to and fro, without my shirt; grumbling throughout)

Physio 1 : Ok, please remove your trousers also.

Me : (Gulp!!!!) I could just lower the trousers if that could help.

Physio 2 : No, we need to see the exact position of your backbone.

And, so I walked once again, to and fro, with just my boxers. After a hectic day at office, a strip show is the last thing anybody should be doing in front of two guys. I seriously wasn’t enjoying the free show, and I am sure they wouldn’t have been too, for that’s how attractive my body is 😀 😀 😀 The next thing they asked me to do was lie down on my back. One of them pressed on the pain area and remarked, “So, this is where it pains, eh?” I couldn’t help sighing at that moment!!! At times, when I tell people something, they just don’t seem to understand it the way I want!

So, that was all about the show. No, they don’t have a recorded version of it, unless they had cameras installed in some corner of the room. Who knows; I might end up being a youtube star soon!! Those who came in here just for the strip show, I am sorry if it wasn’t spicy enough; you could stop reading at this point. And, for those who wants to know how my back is now, read on:

Those guys at the gym tried to sell their physiotherapist sessions, with a special package for existing members. But it turned out way too expensive for me. But who wants free sauna baths and daily dietician sessions, when all that required was to get my injured back back 😛 😛 😛 After getting two months’ extension from the gym, I visited another physiotherapist in the city and I am currently under treatment, wearing funny belts on my chest and doing a lot of exercises which, apparently, do not help me in reducing my weight!

Once I get over with my back problem, I might continue the gym until the subscription period and after that, I am just going to continue with my walks. And yeah, I still have that cross trainer at home, might as well make use of it too. You know what guys, I stopped dreaming about being trim and fit. I feel, my weight isn’t destined to get reduced and I am probably one of those who had been sent to this world to remain as a fat guy.

Btw, fat is cute, isn’t it ? 😛 😛 😛