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Whatever happened to Superman’s underwear ?

August 15, 2013

Disclaimer : It has nothing to do with the new Superman movie and is hardly about the Superhero himself. It’s only about his underwear 😛 😛

This post is probably coming out really late, but I am still clueless on what happened to Superman. He has always been this mentally challenged superhero who didn’t know how to dress; the red underwear always over the blue pants he wore. But now, look at him closely; doesn’t he appear vulgar to you all?

The new Superman!

So, has the retard finally started putting things in the right place? That can’t be the reason, because Superman was never allowed to grow up. We always wanted him to be this handsome guy who saves the world and then appear as a totally different person just by sporting a spectacle, sulking for Lois Lane throughout his life. When I watched the promos of the new Superman movie, I couldn’t help but notice the guys new look. I initially thought that the plotline had something to do with his underpants and him fighting with the super villain to get it back, who apparently stole it from Superman’s backyard where it was left for drying. But alas, it’s not what I imagined. People all over the world are dying to know the reason. There are various sites in the internet which lead you to this topic and there is also a page in FB dedicated for this cause. It is certainly a serious issue that is bothering the world and we Indians, as usual, aren’t doing anything about it.

I know it’s a fashion these days to blame the government for everything, but why aren’t they taking any initiative to solve the mystery! Our PM, as usual, is quiet. Not that I expect to hear anything out of him unless it’s Republic / Independence Day, but what happened to his ministers. They were always good at being out spoken and coming up with really creative statements like ‘Hearty meal available for Rs.12 ’ or for shamelessly calling their own colleague an ‘Item’. I am telling you, this government is really hopeless; they are just not worried about the feelings of a common man. Leave the ruling party, the opposition has also not been doing their job! They have not created any stir on this matter which is a very bad sign; total disregard for democracy, I say! However, I am glad that neither the ruling nor the opposition accused any of our neighbours for the whole underwear issue; poor fellas, one is busy fixing tents across India and the other is busy hiding really important people in their country and then denying it.

While the ruling and opposition are constantly trying to find faults with each other, it has been the minorities who always came forward to react for the right causes. Mind you, only for the right causes! Early this year they had saved India and its citizens from the evil clutches of a man named Kamal Haasan; they managed to stop the screening of one of his harmless movies for almost a month. The superhero community in India is one such minority, comprising of duds like Krishh, G.One, Drona, Doga and Shaktimaan. But none of these guys came out to support Superman or even help him find his underwear. I am sure, this subject would’ve been taken up seriously had Superman been a Marathi, or if he at least had some Marathi connection. No hartals, no press meets, no hunger strikes; we, in India, are used to nation-wide bandh for these kind of issues!!! Which reminds me, what happened to all those countless jobless Babas and fake Gandhians (the adjective can be used either wise; wouldn’t make a difference)? They would’ve easily received publicity on an international scale only if they had conducted some hunger strike at the Times Square in New York or near the Big Ben in London. Apparently, the ‘Gandhian’ we all know is leading an Independence Day parade in New York tomorrow and I just hope he takes up this issue; better late than never!

Speaking of publicity, I wonder why Bollywood has also not reacted to this yet. The whole film fraternity was sad when a film actor turned part-time terrorist turned film actor again was sent to jail for a crime he actually committed, but nobody, no single soul, to think about Superman. I mean, is this the kind of respect we give to a person who has been ‘trying’ to save our world for so long? Take your ‘co-star’ for vacations to Spain, but please don’t turn your head away from basic responsibilities. To be honest, I was waiting for Aamir to raise this concern in some forum, but the poor guy speaks only when his movie is about to release or when his show is about to air on TV. You can’t blame him, old habits die hard. The other two supposedly super stars have always been socially irresponsible, and all that they care about now is to find a public place to hug each other, so that the media can wag their tongues behind them for a fortnight asking, “Why did you hug?”, “How was the hug?”, “Will you keep hugging from now on?”, “When will be the next hug”, etc.

I really don’t understand how the media works. As far as I know, they have been keen and have always shown enthusiasm to cover significant themes like ‘wardrobe malfunction’. This was like the Mother of all wardrobe malfunction and yet no coverage in print or visual. And again, of all the people, how come Arnab is quiet ? How did he manage to survive so far without making even one comment on the underwear? There should’ve been countless ‘one man debates’ by now considering the gravity of the situation. Expecting him to be silent is like watching white crows fly upside down on a snowy day in Rajasthan!!! Why do I get the feeling that there is a conspiracy, a global conspiracy, behind this? The media, the politicians and the celebrities of India, all have their index finger on their respective mouth, like obeying instructions from some bigger power!

I am equally surprised why the social media, and particularly, the bloggers in India chose to remain hushed this time. This is when we should’ve initiated another Chaddi campaign. Imagine the kind of international ‘exposure’ we would’ve got. Many of us, as usual, could’ve simply signed online petitions and felt ecstatic about what we did. And not to forget, patting on our own back and making tall claims like, “Oh, I have contributed a lot to the society”, all this without nudging a muscle from our arm chair. But it’s too late now to react. Or, is it?
Too many questions, but no convincing answer! But if anybody reading this has, I would appreciate if you could kindly come forward and explain. I have been having sleepless nights thinking about Superman’s plight. I have never been this worried about anybody’s underwear, not even mine! I need help! We all need help!

The world is definitely going through one of its toughest times. I hope atleast the officials in UN assemble to find a solution to this grave issue. People, you must understand, Superman isn’t somebody for US alone; he is a world-wide property! If a superhero like him can lose his underwear, how safe are we in this world?? Think about it !!!

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55 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2013 12:28 pm

    Like the Bermuda triangle… yet another mystery!

    • August 19, 2013 11:40 am

      You bet! 😛 But over here, we have got to save somebody ! 😛

  2. August 15, 2013 1:24 pm

    “has the retard finally started putting things in the right place?” Nahh… Too much expectation from him 😛

    Vim : I know. He has been wearing inside out for almost 5 decades now ! 😛

    Is it possible that when the Rs.12 meal was announced he traded his stinky unddy for the meal?? 😛

    Vim : Hmm…could be ! So India IS behind the whole conspiracy theory ! 😀

    Recently a lot of firing has been happening between India and Pak… Do you think the priced possession is lying somewhere in snow covered grounds of Kashmir and that’s why this fight.???

    Vim : Nahh, those guys dont any reason to fight. I heard somebody sneezed a lill louder thats how the firing started 😛

    As far as bloggers are concerned now that you have started the revolution, I am sure others will also join in!!!

    Vim : for the chaddi campaign, you mean 😛

    Btw now that his unddy is lost don’t you think he would be feeling kinda weird while flying… With all the air and all.. You know what I mean… 😀

    Vim : No Tan, I really dont know what you meant…could you be ‘more’ specific 😛 😛

    “I have never been this worried about anybody’s underwear, not even mine!” Really!!! Don’t you think its time you start bothering about yours first…??? And now I am sure the next post will be about security measures you have taken to safeguard your unddies,,, 😛 😛

    Vim : Of course. I am bothered, why do you think I wrote this post. If he can lose his, im sure, one day I will be running around in Kochi searching for mine. Hmm…how about I appoint you as my personal secretary cum body guard to get things in place?? 😛 😛

  3. August 15, 2013 2:46 pm

    And to add to this list, you writing like once in a blue moon is yet another mystery. 😀 Great post! Vintage Vimmuuu style. 🙂

    • August 15, 2013 9:59 pm

      Shishya dont underestimate the power of a common moon 😀

    • August 19, 2013 11:51 am

      Vintage…you making me feel old buddy !!! 😛 😛

      Btw, theres no mystery to it…its because im chained to work…you will know soon 😛

      • August 20, 2013 12:18 am

        Haha. It’s just to reaffirm that you haven’t lost your lost even after a prolonged period of non blogging 😀

        • August 20, 2013 12:19 am

          *touch I mean! 😛 No two thoughts here please you kids!

  4. August 15, 2013 9:42 pm

    Never knew an underwear got hold so much thought-provoking,captivating and gripping words man 😦 Sobs .. God to see u back in action man! :mrgreen: Now let the Underwear spam festival begin! 👿

  5. August 15, 2013 9:49 pm

    Just to put things straight, Eventhough i support the Last son of krypton, ‘The Man of Steel ‘ was a big disappointment in every sense. The movie tried too hard to ‘batmanize’ the Boy scout that it ended up looking like like a black n white documentary .

    • August 19, 2013 11:55 am

      I thought so; DC guys are boring anyway. and Batman gained popularity recently only becuz of Nolans trilogy, the older versions were horrible !! Will catch it on torrents, I need to be kept abreast on my competition, rt ! 😛

  6. August 15, 2013 9:54 pm

    In other news,there were reports of Perfectionist khan wandering around the North pole in his never ending quest to tailor that perfect underwear for superman. He has been trying so hard to understand Superman’s needs that he literally tried to get into his character by scavenging superman’s old undies from his wardrobe. Hmm..who knows after his quest ends he might get ideas for a sequel to TALAASH.

    • August 19, 2013 11:57 am

      Lol…thats what they say ‘getting into the skin of the character’ !!! 😛 😛

  7. August 15, 2013 9:57 pm

    ooh and a special thanx for mentioning my FIL here. Ulaga nayaga hope u r reading this 🙂 Or should i get my ahem celebrity friend Mr. Siddharth to pass on your message 😀

    • August 15, 2013 10:08 pm

      Your FIL?? Are you referring to Mr. Sing??? 😀 😀

    • August 19, 2013 11:59 am

      look at you two children!! Im sure you guys will pull each others hair when you meet in person!

      • August 20, 2013 12:16 am

        Haha. Vimmuu is right. Brat and Tan – will you two kids please grow up 😀 😀

  8. August 15, 2013 10:07 pm

    And just to support my boy Kal- el, he is infact wearing underwear..Tht whole thing u see is the offcial krptonian underwear.Even the baddies were wearing similar ones. Plus dont u think if red would be too distracting during an epic fight. Plus he wont be an effective infiltrator during secret missions because his enemies would detect his red underwear frm a mile away. So the decision to get rid off the red underwear was an intelligent and practical design in my opinion.

    • August 19, 2013 12:02 pm

      So, what do you mean, Superman wasnt intelligent for the last 5 decades??? Im not going to buy them; these are excuses given by people who arent bothered to find his underwear. They shouldnt change the basic look of Superman; thats like creating a biopic with Dhanush as Bappi Lahiri ! 😛

  9. August 15, 2013 10:44 pm

    Now the answer to million dollar question..Wht happened to Supe’s Unmentionables?
    Hint: http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/m/man_of_steel/01_man_of_steel.jpg

    • August 19, 2013 12:04 pm

      Of course, they had to copy Spiderman! for all you know, he must have spideys outfit too….wid no movies, low comic book sales, and declining fans, he ought to be penniless !

  10. August 17, 2013 12:06 am

    First of all, let me go lock up all my underwear safely. 😐 Forget Superman, you have made me worry about my own underwear also!! 😛

    Vim : Good. So it is indeed a thought provoking post 😛

    In fact now that you mention it, it made me think. Although this movie came out latest, story-wise it speaks about Superman’s beginning – how it all began. So basically you have got it all twisted around. Superman started by wearing underwear normally like normal people. And then later as the years passed, he started fancying…er… exhibitionism and start displaying public what should be kept private. What? I mean his red underwear of course! 😛 That makes more sense doesn’t it?

    So that’s the simple explanation. I am sure that from the next movie onwards the underwear will be back. So you don’t need to tax your little brain…. go take rest!

    Vim : No, thats just a probability. I need to know what really happened, and cant take rest until then !! 😛

    Dude! G.One, Doga and Shaktimaan in one sentence, I can understand. Those are all the losers! But Krishh?? You hate him also? C’mon compared to the others he’s definitely better off!

    Vim : Hes better in that lot, but hes no good when compared what we have got used to from the west. All that six fingered superhero knows is how to jump; we have Hanuman for that ! 😛 😛

    On a different note, welcome back!! I see traces of the old Vimmuuu’s posts in this one! 😀 😀 What a joy!! :mrgreen:

    Vim : 🙂 🙂

  11. August 17, 2013 11:50 pm

    So now you want the whole world to go help superman find his underwear?!! 😯 You’ve given a good build up for new campaign- The Find-Superman’s-Chaddi campaign!
    You’re back with a BANG, huh Vimmu! 😉 😉
    😆

    • August 19, 2013 12:06 pm

      and Deeps, you are back with the ‘Bang’ topic 😛 😛

      Ya, whats wrong in the whole world teaming up? Isnt he saving us every now and then?? Nanni venam nanni 😛 :

  12. August 20, 2013 12:31 am

    Its been a long time since I came on the blogging circuit and now I find a post by you…good 🙂
    Of course, I shouldnt be surprised by such topics from you, Vimmuuu…. 😀
    Hope you are doing good 🙂

  13. August 21, 2013 4:26 am

    Okay, we get it that you were busy reading newspapers….so? 😐

  14. August 21, 2013 10:01 am

    A tad late, but better late than never! 😀

    Ok, here are my two cents; maybe longer 😀

    You are obsessed with male underwear! 😀

    There is seething jealousy within you knowing that Superman is the best. 😀

    I can’t believe you cannot keep up with the times; the costume design is more contemporary

    The movie wasn’t at all good, i agree, but then spidey movies suck “bigger” time!

    Equating Superman to Indian politicos and bollywood!! Duh??? Whatever became of you? 🙂

    Evolution is best understood by special creations, not some eight legged hairy things in webs 😀

    You don’t realize that Krypton has lineage, while, well, spidey is web-based! That is to put it kind! 😀

    And, here’s an old one; Spiderman went around fluffing “Superman is a whimp.” Superman retaliated “Spiderman is Peter Parker.” End of story!

    Ok, and notice a line space after each of my comments; that’s for your response! Keep them coming baby, i’m waiting 😀 😀 😀

    Everything apart, good to have you back on the blogs. Will be great to see you often though!

  15. September 2, 2013 12:15 pm

    LOL!!! as much as i want to be critical ! 😀 it is just not possible to. Thoroughly enjoyed the piece..aheemmmmm i meant the article! and yea ..dint fail the cynical arrows at our systems! 🙂 blog more often please! as much as I hate to admit it – u’re too good at it! 😀

  16. Smita permalink
    November 20, 2013 4:00 pm

    Underwear jaaye bhaad main…

    You have been awarded!!! Please check my blog 🙂

    http://books-life-n-more.blogspot.in/2013/11/i-am-very-good-at-murderingtags-awards.html

  17. November 23, 2013 3:00 pm

    wow! I never knew an underwear (..even superman’s) is this thought provoking! kudos to your creativeness 🙂

  18. January 7, 2014 9:58 pm

    lol … he was too tired of Batman mocking him in every Justice League meeting 😛 😛 ..

  19. February 24, 2014 5:28 am

    Mitchell Johnson on steroids?
    Lance Armstrong, passed 250 tests without getting caught.
    These Aussies can sell their mamas for victories, steroids is nothing.

  20. Rakesh Raghavan permalink
    July 3, 2014 5:08 pm

    hi

  21. July 18, 2014 3:29 pm

    Rakeshhi

  22. July 25, 2014 6:54 pm

    raj

  23. August 4, 2014 12:55 pm

    testing

  24. August 27, 2014 4:52 pm

    You seriously need to come back and start writing. I was reading your old works. They are so entertaining… miss reading your posts. 🙂

  25. rajeshwari permalink
    August 28, 2014 10:18 am

    LOL!!

  26. September 28, 2014 9:34 pm

    Hi! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that
    would be ok. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward
    to new posts.

  27. September 29, 2014 3:15 pm

    Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing.
    Do you have any points for first-time blog writers?
    I’d certainly appreciate it.

  28. December 2, 2014 2:21 pm

    changes are part of life. The world is dynamic.So every day there is a new change and we have to accept it.

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