The following post(s) is a joint effort and the contents of this post are a part of a real telephonic conversation between Ms. Silly and Mr. Crazy. No prizes for guessing who they are !!!
Si : So you are finally out of the writers block, huh?
Cr : Ya, the tag kinda helped me.
Si : But for an insane person like you, there shouldn’t be any shortage of crazy posts.
Cr: Mind you. Each post of mine has got enough layers for people to think about. You are not intelligent enough !
Si : Oh yeah, the most thought provoking post was the one where you showed us all how to boil water.
Cr : Whats wrong in that ? It was picked up by Blogadda.
Si : Blogadda sympathises mentally retarded.
Cr : Yeah, they did once with you too.
Si : and twice with you !
Cr : Even you wrote a post on how to sleep in office, that’s also crazy enough !
Si : That was to help people.
Cr : yes yes, I heard the productivity of many offices increased after people read that post of yours.
Si : So what if our posts are crazy ?
Cr : Yeah, people read anything as long as it is in a blog ! hehehe
Si : Heyy, why don’t we write a post together, then ?
Cr: You mean a joint post? Ha ha ha people will faint.
Si: So what?
Cr: Hmmmm point…
Si: But there is a problem!
Cr: Already? You yourself are a problem.
Si: Will you please keep quiet ?
Cr: How will we write a post then?
Si: Shut up u smart ass!
Cr : Heyyy, don’t get physical with me maam !!
Si : Ewww…Listen na?
Cr : Tell na. what’s the problem?
Si : What do we write on ?
Cr : LOL, I don’t know. Why don’t we start with the basics like how to %$#$#$$@ ???
Si : Wow, nice idea ! We should do that !!!
Cr : Whaaat ? I was kidding.
Si : No no. That should be our joint post.
Cr : No way. I mean, writing a post on how to %$#$#$$@ ?? That’s the craziest it can get !!
Si : That’s what we want, na?
Cr : Yeah. But….
Si : no buts !
Cr : errr…no but , but as in single ‘t’ or double ‘t’?
Si : One tight slap !!
Cr : Ok Silly….But its not possible man ! I mean, woman ! You need someone to model for that ! Heyy, why don’t you ask that same lady who modelled for that sleeping in the office post of yours. She is lovely.
Si : How do you know ? That snap had just her back and her looong hair.
Cr : Whatever ! I have seen your back too. Not good !!! and you don’t have hair too
Si : Shut up !!! As if you yourself are giving competition to Arjun Rampal. She wont agree to show her face.
Cr (in a saccharine sweet tone) : I think we need a funny face for it, will you do it?
Si: Ok.
Cr: Whaaat? You agreed?
Si: ya, you asked so properly so I agreed.
Cr (too shocked to say anything)
Si: But, to do justice to this kind of post, we need someone like you as the model. You know, you are the one with dirty…
Cr (interrupting) : Hold it right there lady. Not even in your dreams.
Si: Oh please, I have better things to do than dream about you! But you know what? We can not click our own snaps; we will need someone to click them. It wouldn’t be possible.
Cr: So?
Si: So you get it done!
Cr: Will I not face the same problem?
Si: So, what? Get someone na.
Cr: I live alone. You are the one living with someone. You are the one whos got a husband. I don’t even have a husband.
Si : That’s not my fault.
Profanities exchanged!
Si: lol!!! We haven’t even started writing the post and we are fighting like cats n dogs. Do you think the post will ever see the light of the day?
Cr : LOL, I don’t think so !!!! But somehow, we should do it.
What is ‘%$#$#$$@’ ??? What is it that we are going to write about? and do you think both of us can ever complete the post ???
This is the first part. The second part, if completed, would be published in Smitas blog in a few days and a comment disabled post would be left here, once that’s done, to divert you guys to her blog.
Continued from Part 1
6. Ego !
“You can live outside if you cant obey us”
“Fine, Im going”
and I left my house in the afternoon after a huge argument I had with dad. Don’t remember how the argument started and what it was for, but I was just 12 years old ! Ohh, I was a stupid kid back then ! and that wasn’t the first time I left home after my parents asked me to. I did it once when I was in the 3rd grade !!!
I roamed around the streets with my Tee and shorts till sunset and when I realized I had no other place to go, I got into my building and sat on the stairs near the terrace. My stupid child ego didn’t let me go to my flat. Meanwhile, my brother kept searching for me everywhere and finally ended up reaching the stairs. He asked me to come home, but I refused and asked him to leave (ego!ego!ego!). After sometime, when I got really really bored, I went home myself.
Mom : why did you come home now? No one invited you.
Dad : He must have felt hungry ! (he started laughing and my bro joined him)
Me : I have to study !
Dad and bro still laughing !
Mom : your bro kept searching for you inspite of us asking him not to. And then, when he asked you to come down from the terrace, you couldnt huh? You are this small (referring my height) and you have this much (referring the cupboards height) of stubbornness in you ?
..and needless to say, that whole week was horrible with all the parent talks. But for whatever I did, I deserve much more than that !!! What was I thinking, crazy idiot !! I never dared to go out of my home after that incident.
7. My father-my hero !
It was summer vacation and one fine day, a few of us including my brother were riding our cycles on the sidewalk. That was my first attempt at public cycling after all the practice sessions I had at the terrace with my four-wheeled cycle. It was fun riding on the pavement but those idiotic extra tyres got stuck every now and then which made me the slowest among all.
We were riding on a pavement which was just opposite to our apartment and all of a sudden, a Pakistani jumped out of his shop and screamed at all of us for riding past his shop. That, I guess, wasn’t new to the rest of them because they sped on their cycles in no time and I was struggling to get that damn thing move. Moreover the look of that idiot made me all nervous that I didn’t know what to do. The Pakistani got furious because I wasn’t moving away from his shop; he took one of his slippers and whacked me on my back real hard!! I started pushing the cycle like a duck and searched for the rest of them. None of my friends were available on sight, not even my bro. I then rode a little further and managed to find my brother. The moment I saw him, I started crying and he took me home immediately.
I kept crying at home continuously not because I was hurt or embarassed, but because the rest of them deserted me. My dad came in sometime after his shift and heard the whole story. Tan ta daaan ! He took me along and off he went to the street like a super hero !! He barged into the shop and started screaming at that idiot; and in sometime, the argument was taken to the streets. I donno when I stopped crying, but I remember standing near my dad and admiring him; totally ! I mean, there he was, arguing in his broken hindi with a Pakistani who is triple his size, whose one small touch could have hurt my dad real bad and all that just because his son was hurt ! Dads are great or what !!!
My dad approached the law that evening and a police official did come along with us….but damn! I don’t remember anything after that ! Oh ya, that night, my bro got an earful from both mom and dad for not performing his basic duties as an elder brother !!
8. My childhood tattoo.
My world used to revolve around my brother and even today, he means everything to me (my brother must be choking now!). After his 12th, he chose to do his graduation in India and it was tough for me to cope up with his departure. For one whole year, I can even claim that I totally ruined myself; my studies went for a toss, I became even more stubborn and rude, made a lot of enemies, never cared for what mom and dad said (oh this is when the gum incident took place too). A day before he took off, he drew an image (almost similar to the one above) with a pen on my wrist– an image of a sun with ‘Simba’ written inside it. We were huuugge fans of Lion King you see, and we still are if I am not wrong This art of his was too sentimental for me to erase and I decided to keep it on my wrist until I saw him next. I used to cover it with a polythene bag while taking bath and each time it faded, I drew over the image with my left hand. I had a tough time in school covering it and so I avoided half sleeve shirts to school. I didn’t inform my bro through phones or through those long letters of mine about the preserved art and gave him a surprise when he landed three months later.
Incidentally, this was the first design that came into my mind when I decided to get a Tattoo this year. But then, it looked silly as a permanent tattoo and went for the Arian design.
9. The wish hair.
After having played a video game – Atari at our friends place, my brother and me created a ruckus at home asking dad to get a similar one of us. We kept cribbing for more than a week and finally our dad lost all his patience. He shouted at both of us for wishing and demanding things that we found in our friends home and asked us to concentrate on our studies. Both of us sulked the whole night and went to study after dinner. While doing my homework, I observed an eyelash on my finger. That reminded me of what I read in the stories those days – If an eyelash accidentally falls out, you can make a wish on it.
I mentioned this to my brother, but he didn’t care. I put the eyelash on the back of my hand, made a wish and then blew it off. I had nothing to wish for but an Atari. I am not kidding guys, the very next day, my dad came home after work with groceries on his right hand and carrying an Atari game console on his left shoulders !! Both of us were jumping with joy and I could see the happiness in my dads face by watching us go crazy over the video game !! Dad, you are the best !! After Atari, he also got us a Nintendo (Pegasus) and a Sega Mega Drive, but only because my brother excelled in his exams !
10. noitatciD
Now this is the clumsiest thing any human can ever do in his/her entire lifetime. I was in my 2nd grade and we all had a dictation session during our English period. I was well prepared for the test and the teacher started giving us words to spell in our test paper. The results came out and I got 0 / 10 !!! That’s right ! ZERO !!!
I went home crying and complaining to mom that the teacher is mean and that she gave a big zero inspite of each answer being right. I still didn’t understand the clumsiness I committed. My mom had a look at the test paper and started laughing aloud. She then asked for my timetable and after going through that, she understood what the problem was.
Apparently, we had Arabic classes prior to the English period and you know how the Arabs write. Yeah, from right to left !!! So during the dictation, I was still in some Arab world that I drew a margin on the right hand side of the page and started spelling words backwords. For example, Doctor became ‘rotcoD’ and Giraffe became ‘effariG’ (these are the only two words I remember from that test) !!! The best part is I managed to spell all of them correctly, but backwards !!
Now, read the title of this story backwards and you will know how the teacher would have felt !!!
15 wonder years !
Phew ! that was one helluva tag, isn’t it ? The memories I had described in both the parts are only from the first 15 years of my life. I promise to continue this tag after 5 years (if I am still allowed to blog, that is) with the best memories of the next 15 years (16 – 30 
)!!!
So in a way, to be continued……
Wait, not over yet. How can tags finish without the new victims ? Since this is an old tag and most of you would have already done it. Therefore, I choose the following ten who I think havent tried their hands on this tag :
Sujith, Rakesh (their first tag ever)
Kanagu (his posts has all the warmth required for this tag)
Rakesh Vanamali (his nostalgic posts are always a treat to read)
Vee (can never refuse any of my tags)
Smita (I know you hate tags. How else can I take my revenge on you?)
Ashwathy, Shruthi, Rohini, Chatterbox (all the best, LOL)
And anyone who loves self torture is free to take this up !
Happy Childrens Day to all !!!!!!!!!
Writers block, my foot ! (Well, actually my left foot, I donno why, but I kinda like my right foot)
Anyway, I guess I am out of that block, atleast as of now ! As mentioned in the previous post, I did finish writing a few posts, but then again, since I am approaching my 200th post soon, I thought I might as well save all those to publish as an occasion post
They say, the best way for bloggers to come out of Writers block is to do tags and here I am with an old and beaten-to-death tag – The Memories Tag. Rashmi tagged me for this like months ago (April 30 this year, to be precise), but I didn’t want to do this because it would make me all nostalgic and mushy. I am a home sick psychopath who gets into a sober mood each time I come back from home; that’s like twice in a month and didn’t want to go through those emotions, atleast for a post ! So guys, I am warning you, this is going to be an ultra boring post for some of you, all the best ! Keeping the length of the post in mind, I am splitting the post into two and there isn’t a specific order for any of the memories listed here. Btw, the tag was to list only nine sweet memories; I have done one extra, if that’s not going to be a problem with you guys !
1. Kabhi Tata, Kabhi Gum !
I was in my 10th and I had this habit of buying chewing/bubble gums every day; yes every day ! My mom used to keep coins at the top of the fridge for easy access and every afternoon, before my bus would come, I used to get 25 / 50 fils (paise in UAE) for my gums, most of the times without even consenting her. There was a particular day when I was late for school trying to find some coins for my gum and ultimately asked my mom for it. She said she didnt have change and asked me why I needed the coins everyday. There was a heated argument that followed and I shouted at her and stormed out of the house slamming the door (which I do even today, sigh!).
That evening before dinner, when I went to the kitchen for a hot chappathi during my studies, my mom said she was upset the whole afternoon because of my behavior. She said every day I leave the home only after waving a tata to her, and that she was upset only because she missed that tata of mine and not for all my shouting and arguments.
That’s when even I realized, there wasn’t a single day when I had stepped out of home to school without waving a tata to my mom. God knows, I mean, only my mom knows when I started doing it. I don’t do it these days though, stopped it when I started going to college, but I don’t forget to say “mom, Im leaving” whenever I step out of home even today.
Btw, I stopped having gums ever since that incident and took a resolution not to touch it again ever. This is the first time I am declaring this secret of mine anywhere; I always smile when people ask me the reason behind this resolution !
2. Waaaaaaaaaahhhh !!!
Speaking of tata, how many of you remember your first day in school ? Well, I don’t remember it completely, but I have this faint memory of me crying inside the bus asking my dad not to leave me. After the bus started moving, I went running to the last seat looking for my dad through the glass when I found him waving his hand at me. I threw the bag and water bottle on the bus and continued crying at the top of my voice. The bus conductor came and sat next to me and I don’t remember anything after that!!! Probably he had to hit on my head to shut me up !
3. Indoor games !
Our family and Rakesh’s used to share an apartment while we were in Dubai. The guy literally grew up with us. I don’t know how it was for my brother, but this guy was a pain in the wrong place for me back then; he still is ! Anyway, Rakesh used to be so young then and had none to play with; we were his only hope of some kind of entertainment. Me and my brother would play cricket in the corridor along with our neighbor Girish and Rakesh was always our official ball boy !! We also played Donkey in our corridor and Rakesh used to be the ever green donkey !!! For those who didn’t know, donkey is a game played by three. One player, ie, the donkey, stands in the center and the other two on each ends keeps throwing the ball to each other making sure that the donkey doesn’t catch hold of it. Poor Rakesh, there were times when he actually caught the ball from me, but since he was the youngest guy then, he had to listen to me. Moreover, that was the only way I could take my revenge on him !! and yeah, we also loved playing those treasure hunt games. My bro used to give us treasure maps marked with ‘X’ in it and also with some weird clues in chits, that would either lead us to another clue or to the treasure. Once we found a chit in the kitchen and that said, “follow the balloon that’s in the hall”. Rakesh and me kept searching for the balloon in the hall the whole afternoon and finally declared our defeat. When we asked my bro about the balloon, he asked us to look carefully at the curtain; it had a picture of a hot air balloon and the next clue to the treasure was behind the curtain !!
Rakesh, do you wanna add some more to all the fun we used to have ?
4. The Heavy-Weight letter !
My brother and me were big fans of WWF (World Wrestling Federation) and were literally addicted to it. We started watching them ever since we got our cable connection at home and would keep watching all the re runs too. We used to imitated a few of the wrestlers, trying to act and speak like them and once I even got my finger fractured when my bro was trying a wrestling maneuver on me. After my brother left to India for his studies, I lost my WWF company and in the initial days, I used to sulk while watching them because I missed him so badly. I knew my bro had no ways of watching WWF from where he stayed, so I started updating him with my letters. No, not emails, physical letters! I used to send him letters with each and every description, even with the most prominent dialogues !
It was the 1995 Royal Rumble and my bro asked me over the phone as to whats happening. I told him that as usual I would send him a letter with all the updates, right from the screening level. I wrote, and wrote, and wrote, stuck pictures, drew the Royal Rumble flow chart, and again wrote and wrote and wrote. It finally came upto 19 pages, front and back !!! I had a tough time convincing my dad to post it to India; with all the pictures in it, the letter was really really heavy!! I don’t know if my bro had read all those 19 pages (because he hardly reads a long email from me ), but I still remember how much I enjoyed spending my time writing that letter; it was like watching WWF with him once again.
5. For my mom !
I was in my kindergarten and I had this habit of collecting leaves and flowers that fell on the school ground to take them home. During the break, after having my food, I would go to the ground and pick all those withered leaves and stuff it in my tiffin box. I remember once asking permission from the teacher to use the restroom so that I could collect a few more of those leaves and stuff it in my small pocket. Well it seems, I had a reason for taking those leaves and flowers along with me from school all the way home. I don’t remember the reason but according to my mother, this was my explanation back then – I was taken to Dubai at a very young age and we all have been living in a flat ever since. I had been seeing my mom always at home inside the four walls and I was under the impression that my poor old mom never seen or knew what a tree or a leaf was ! Leaves and flowers weren’t the only stuffs I got for my mother during my kindergarten days. There was this girl named ‘Abidha’ in our class; I used to come back home with her hair clips and bands for my mom !!
Aaaaahhh…those were the days. Its not over yet ! Part 2 coming soon !!
I have never been through this phase before. Its so suffocating; its like someone holding me back from…err..umm…I donno. But whatever it is, I hate it; never thought this would happen to me. I start with something interesting and then all of a sudden, I am stuck. Left a few of them midway; just not the right time to bring them out. I had been seeing people around me going through this; and a few of them haven’t even returned back. Would I be a victim as well ? Is this the end? So soon? I hope not !!!
I am lost these days, all alone, in that alley!! and I cant expect anyone to help me out too, I would have to come out of this myself. I am a new kid on that block – the writers block !
Ok ok, enough of drama !! donno if its laziness or if its got to do something with the human mind (yes, very much human and I have a mind too). Anyway, would come up with something silly very soon. Until then, see ya !
PS : yeah, yeah, the usage of ‘kid’ is too much, na? I felt so too.
Ok, New ‘uncle’ on that block, happy?
Disclaimer : This is a true story, but the characters clothes mentioned in this post are fictitious and any resemblance to any sort of garment living or dead is purely coincidental.
Madam Machine : Godd…its stinking in here. Where is this coming from?
Blue : Its us maam, its us !
White : Heyy, don’t generalize, its not from me. I am supposed to be pure and I cant stink. It should be that black guy.
Grey : Racist ! It has been 5 days and we all have been right here, in the same position and how can you be the only person who wouldnt stink? We all are. What do you think, Black ?
Black (sleeping)
Blue : Mr. Black?? Mr. Blaaack??? BLAACK ???
I opened the lid of the washing machine and found a few of my clothes inside that had been lying there since Monday. It was Friday and it was supposed to be my all-socks-washing day. I had completely forgotten to take these clothes outside for drying, but heyy, not my fault, the washing machines lid was closed A fully automatic washing machine after drying the clothes should also have an alarm that goes every hour to inform that the clothes are still lying inside. One by one, I took out the clothes in a bucket to hang it outside – a Blue, White and a Grey Shirt along with a Jet Black Pant. But the clothes stunk so badly that even if a rat wouldn’t want to create a home out of it. I decided to give them one more wash, gave the necessary instructions to the washing machine, fed it with detergent and left to office, but this time, keeping a reminder on my phone to hang the clothes after returning back home.
Black (up from his sleep) : Uhh..huuh…mm…huh…whats happening? How come we are still in and why are we getting wet again?
Madam Machine : It’s a long story boy. You all are getting washed once again. Hang in there.
Blue : Oh no, not again. This isn’t fair. Once in two weeks, we go through all this twirling and spinning, and this is the second time this week. I hate getting washed, I guess I am getting pale with each wash.
White : I am fine with it. You guys would lose all your colors and become bright like me one day. It feels great to look good.
Grey : yeah, you have nothing to lose. You are colorless.! Shut up and rotate.
Blue : Black, will you stop playing with the bubbles ? don’t blow them on me !
Grey : He isn’t playing, he has gone back to sleep again. The bubbles are flying because he is snoring away to glory.
White : and I thought that weird noise came from the machine.
Blue : How can anyone sleep in between all this, beats me !
White : Ugly duckling, all this doesn’t matter to him. People notice only us, not the pants.
Grey : LOL, people will surely notice only if it is just us, White. We are incomplete without friends like Black. Love thy colleagues, or atleast try to.
Got home after my shift at around 3.30 am; it was Saturday and was the Diwali day. The first thing I did after entering in was hang those clothes, for which there is a provision outside my apartment near by bedroom window (I stay in the ground floor, remember ?)
After watching TV for a while, I went to bed. I might have slept for 2 hours on a stretch when all the Diwali crackers started bursting at around 6. Since I stayed in the ground floor, it was like someone bursting them right on top of my head. Chata pata chata pata chat pata..pata pata pata..chata. chata pata. I switched on the AC, so that the water dripping from the AC would stop people from bursting the crackers just outside my window and tried to catch some sleep. The AC trick worked or I must have been really tired, I actually fell asleep again and got up around noon.
Finished my routines (see, no mention of bathroom. Hmmpph!), had brunch and was watching TV for sometime. A detergent commercial reminded me of those clothes inside the machine and I was sure that by then, all of them would be dry and ready to get pressed. I took extra care in getting out of the house because some of the loonies were still bursting crackers outside.
Wished a few of my neighbours and went to the clothesline. The clothes were hanging alright, but looked as if they just returned from a civil war. The white shirt was grey in color, the pant was all dusty, the blue shirt turned greenish, oh but the grey shirt looked the same. If they were stinking of dampness earlier, its stinking of gun powder now. So that means, those loonies had a nice time celebrating their stupid diwali right in front of my room, huh? Idiots ! When will we all learn to be a little considerate? Forget the fact that a human being was sleeping inside, but there were clothes hanging outside, do they need to have fun right in front of the clothes ? People, I tell you !!
Took the same clothes for the third time to the washing machine, gave the same instructions, added a little more of the detergent and switched on the TV.
Madam Machine : Ohh no…you boys are back ? Ewww..and whats this smell? What have you boys been smoking ? Do I have to wash you all over again?? Its so bohoring !!
Blue : Sob sob ! Maam, please get rid of this smell from us. And look at me?
Grey : Stop cribbing. If there is someone who needs to cry, it has to be White. Look at him. White, white, who is the fairest of ‘em all ?? Buhahahahahaha
White : You can tell that. You look the same.
Grey : Oh that’s because, I have never cared so much about how I look.
Black : Will you stop it? I am trying to catch some sleep.
Blue : How can you black? Arent you sad ?
Black : Whats the use ? We are now inside the machine and theres not much that we can do to stop it. Moreover, coming out of this in our old form isn’t with us. Why worry about something that’s not in our hands?
White : How will I ever face people now ? I am all dark now. I don’t deserve this.
Grey : Lol. Again, if there is anyone who deserves this, it has to be you White. Just so you know, we are suffering here only because of your deeds.
White : Stop it Grey, you always have been ugly, what do you know about looks, huh? You are created this way and you cant do anything about it. If both of us are equal, why is it that I am used for all good occasions like interviews and you for the normal days?
(Grey keeps quiet)
(Blue still crying)
Black : People stop ! White, you are or were good looking and grey is jealous, ok? Grey, White is plain silly and you are perfect, ok? And blue, stop cribbing. Maaam, will you please do the honors once again, donno if this is the last time, but please !!!
Madam Machine : yeah, keep quiet you guys. I cant concentrate on what I am doing. You all have to just sit in there, and I have to do the rest. Getting filled, rotate, spin, rinse, twirl and go through all that again and then get you guys dried. I am going to stop functioning from now on; I need rest too you see. I have been doing the same old work ever since I got in here. This is discrimination against us females.
TV : You have a better life than me Madam. You are on duty for just two days in a week. Sigh!
After the washing was done, I hung it at the same place and brought them back in before my considerate neighbours could start bursting crackers again.
—- After a day —-
Wore the grey shirt and the black pant to office.
Black : Any news on White ? The last I heard is that he has been given for dry cleaning, seems he didn’t get his ‘white’ back.
Grey : Yeah, I feel bad for him though ! Don’t know when he would be back after all that torture to regain his looks. I hope he realizes one day that looks isn’t everything. And if this time, he doesn’t get back his looks, he would be used indoors and in no time, would be passed off as a rag or would probably be given away for charity.
Black : But why didnt you reply the other day when he humiliated you on your looks?
Grey : Sometimes, silence speaks a thousand words. I knew what was going to happen and wanted him to realize it in the hard way. Its always better to learn from your own experiences than from all those advises and sarcasms. Btw, do you know why you have come out the best after all those washing disasters?
Black : Nope, I really didn’t put my mind to it.
Grey : Exactly, that’s why ! The more you worry about such trivial issues, the faster you wither.
Black : hmmm…probably…that’s what happened to Blue too. Though he got back his color, his texture is completely ruined.
Just then a female colleague passed by my side and complimented on my dress.
Black : Heyy Grey, you rock.
Grey : Not without you, buddy !
Black : Thanks Grey. Btw, did you notice that cute skirt. Is she single ?
Me : I would love to see a castle, you know like one of those that come in the Lord of the Rings. That’s one of my dreams too !
Bro : Sigh ! How many such dreams do you have? Well, there wont be any Lord of the Rings kinda castle nearby. Lets see.
He searched for a few castles in and around Basel and gave me a few options. And I chose Chateau de Chillon
Warning : Too many pics, long post !
Chateau de Chillon is located at Montreux, closer to France and thats why the castle had a french name (Chateau in French means Castle, Schloss is the word in German). The train from Basel goes via Vevey (saw the head quarters of my ex employer- Nestle), Lousanne and finally reaches Montreux.
It was noon already and half way through the walk, I felt hungry. They had all kinds of joints on the way itself. Somehow all those McDs and Pizza outlets were not appealing and I walked further to see if I could get something else (and I wasn’t sure what that something was even). And guess what I found, ‘Sultan’ – an Indian Restaurant !!!
There was this guy who was standing out and greeting everyone with a Bon Jour (sounded to me like Pazhan chor, which in malayalam means old cooked rice). I went up to him, and said Namastey. He got so excited and asked me from where I was and on hearing me say ‘Kerala’, he started jumping with joy. Like they say, you could find a mallu (Keralite) even on the moon !!! The chap, named Tjs, is a Keralite who happened to work there for his Hotel Management interns. He mentioned that no Keralite had ever visited that restaurant. I wasn’t surprised, because I wouldve been the only INDIAN searching for Indian restaurants even on a short foreign trip ! In a few minutes, the owner of the restaurant came and we started conversing in Hindi (Yes, folks and Smita, he was so glad that someone spoke to him in Hindi, if not shudh ) Apparently, neither the restaurant nor he was an Indian, they were from Pakistan. According to him, if he had put the word Pakistan anywhere in and around the restaurant, there wouldn’t be any one visiting his restaurant and wouldn’t be able to even open a restaurant in the first place. I really felt bad for him and for all those Pakistanis who has to live this way in foreign countries just because a few of them in their country are loonies.
But I guess there is another reason why none of the Indians went there! The food at Sultan was aweful ! I opted for their lunch buffet since I didn’t want Tjs to serve me after all the native talk and bonding we developed. I went through the salad section; they had four different kinds of salads and except for one, the rest had cows and pigs in them ! Got the only veg salad, fed my mouth with a spoonful of it while asking my new friend about his whereabouts in Kerala. Guys, the moment I had that in my mouth, I really didn’t know what to do. I cant spit the food in front of Tjs, and I didn’t want to have it in my mouth either. Tjs looked at me and asked what happened. I showed him the usual gesture for water with my hand and he brought me pepsi (thank God, I mean, thank Tjs). With no second thoughts, I drank Pepsi and swallowed that whatever-was-in-my-mouth along with it, in one gulp. After regaining myself from the torture,
Me : Why is this tasting so horrible ? I was about to puke.
He : Probably because of the fish pieces.
Me (all shocked) : Fish? Where ??
—I looked into the salad again, there were corn, peas, some other vegetables and a white color stuff. I pointed at those and :
Me : “this isnt cheese?”.
—He smiled and nodded his head in disagreement.
Whaat a country ! and they call that a veg salad !
Not wanting to take another risk, I went directly to where the rice was kept had it along with two spoons of dal and a spoon of bhindi masala. So much for my Indian ‘lunch’!!! Took a snap along with Tjs with my stomach growling and my mouth still craving for tasty food !
I continued the walk again, humming my songs, making a few people raise their eyebrows with those songs, standing on the pavement with photographic poses (I mean, there were no one to take my snap, but I just love standing like that !) and finally reached my dream !
The entrance fee was 12 francs, you could also opt for an audio guide (an I-pod with 29 tracks) when you pay for the tickets which is another 6 francs.
I am glad I opted for the guide or else I wouldn’t have had any idea what I was looking at. Btw, do we have these kind of audio help here in India? I havnt been to any of the historic monuments here in India, except for Chennais Mahabalipuram.
The moment I entered the castle, I got transported to the 12th century; the music and the explanation from the Ipod helped a lot.
It was an awesome experience, one of the best days of my life. Here are some of the pics from in and out of the castle :
The tallest structure in the castle
The emperors bedroom. The audio said emperors in those ages were short; almost 5'5'' !
Thats where the rulers took bath !!
The banquet hall
The prisoners dungeon !
A secret passage !
A view from the tallest tower
The only snap of mine near the castle. But eyes closed ! 
After returning the audio guide, I went inside their souvenir shop. Found a lot of exciting stuffs inside, but man, they were damn expensive ! I was about to leave the shop when on their shelf, I found a structure of this castle in paper, that looked like one of those foldable maps :
Me : For sale ?
Lady in red : Yes …yes…19 francs
Me : Is it foldable ? Foldable map kind of…?
Lady in red : Yes..yes..foldable…19 francs…good…good..
—I knew she didn’t understand English and so turned to the lady in white.
Me : I will have one of those (pointing to the showpiece)
Lady in white : Here you are…5 days….5 days…
—gosh, even she didn’t know English. But I kept wondering, what she meant by ‘5 days’ ?
On my way back, I preferred the mini cruise, a few snaps taken from where I sat :
Went to the station directly and spent some time over there ‘bird watching’ (I was single back then and I had the rights to.Hmmpphh !!!). I was too excited to open my souvenir and that’s the first thing I did after getting a seat inside the train. And needless to say, I got the shock of my life !! I realized what a fool I was; I shouldve atleast opened it from the shop. Good god, I cant even go back and return it !!
All it had was bits and pieces of paper and yes, a foldable cardboard (so that it fits in the package). Now I am supposed to build the castle on my own right from its foundation stone sticking those papers together !! So much for my folding castle !
There wasn’t even a reference inside to build the castle, except for some numbers on the board and on the papers. Got back to India and with my limited memory on the castle and the few snaps, I worked on those bits and pieces. It took me 4 days and 3 Fevi-sticks to complete that architecture!!! No wonder the lady in white mentioned 5 days…5 days !!! But I must admit, I had good fun doing it, it was like a travel to that wonderful castle once again.
Here and some of the before and after pics :
The so-called foldable board
work in progress !!!
the finishing touch....
this is how the castle would appear from a helicopter 
I reached home pretty late, somewhere around 11pm. My flight to London was at 10.30 am the next day. My bro was supposed to get my tickets to London printed from his office since he was the one who got it booked online. But I guess, I influenced him a lot that he completely forgot about it. Ok, now I am leaving to London at 10.30 am the next day for which I don’t have tickets with me, and I need to get out of the house atleast by 7.30 am !!!
Bro : Don’t oversleep. We would have to go to my office first, get the printouts, catch a tram and then your train, which is at 8.30. Since we have already checked in online, you just have to go directly to the immigration.
Me : and whens the next train ?
Bro : 8.50, which is of no use. Because you would reach Zurich by 9.50 and I don’t think they would let you in for the 10.30 am flight.
Me : Gulp. Ok, will wake up at 6am, that’s enough, na?
Bro : No, wake up at 5 am. You spend a lot of time in the bathroom !
Me : Don’t worry, I wont be late. Will wake up by 6.
Bro : (sigh!) Whatever !!!
After dinner, I checked some of those castle snaps and by 12.30 went to bed quoting Joeys ”LONDON BABY” !!!
Next in this series : London (City)
I was supposed to publish the third part of my Europe trip according to my previous post, but after writing I realized that I need to take a few more snaps (no, not of Europe) to complete the post, which you will come to know when it appears here soon.
However, I didn’t want this series to delay at any cost.
I just cant get enough of listening to Barson Yaaron of London Dreams; awesome compostion and excellent choice of singers. And everytime, I listen to the Hanuman chalisa – Rock fusion that come towards the end of the song, I get goosebumps ! Easily, one of the best tracks to have come out this year.
An English track never finds a place in this list (that’s because I don’t listen to them ), it has happened only twice and that too because of ARR (should I even mention which it was ). This particular track from Couples Retreat mentioned in the post is strangely a song with Tamil lyrics, but listening to it is a sheer delight.
1. Barson Yaaron – London Dreams (Hindi) – Music : Shankar Ehsaan Loy
2. Bhoola Tujhe, Fiqrana, Rehnuma – Blue (Hindi) – Music : A.R.Rahman
3. Dil Ibaadat (both versions) – Tum Mile (Hindi) – Music : Pritam
4. Kurukuru Kankalile – Couples Retreat (English) – Music : A.R.Rahman
5. Parannu Vannu – Robinhood (Malayalam) – Music : M.Jayachandran
6. Muddugare – Village Lo Vinayakudu (Telugu) – Music : Manikanth Kadri
7. Yaarodu Yaaro – Yogi (Tamil) – Music : Yuvan Shankar Raja
8. Happening – Main Aur Mrs. Khanna (Hindi) – Music : Sajid Wajid
9. Oru Changazhi – Loud speaker (Malayalam) – Music : Bijibal
10. Karigaalan – Vettaikaran (Tamil) – Music : Vijay Anthony
Oct releases :
Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahaani (Hindi) – Music : Pritam (Average on a first listen)
Kurbaan (Hindi) – Music : Salim Sulaiman (Wow)
Jail (Hindi) – Music : Sharib-Toshi, Shamir Tandon (below average)
Ilamai Idho Idho – Music : Vidyasagar (below average)
——————————————————————————————————————————————————
Off topic completely; guess what critics, for that ‘most informative’ post of mine, Blogadda awarded me this :
This is the second recognition from the Blogadda group; the post titled Sillyday was once their Tangy Tuesday Pick.
and now, I would love to thank :
1. IHM – for referring the post to Blogadda
2. Harish and the entire Blogadda group for making it possible without bribing you guys
3. Smita- for the sms informing me on this.
4. Smitha- for the first comment congratulating me.
5. Sri Devi Gas Agencies
6. Lays Chips Manufacturers
7. Some Apple tree
8. LG
9. Big Bazaar (Spoon, Vessel, Knife, Cloth)
10. Ohhh, my parents and
…..most importantly, all you readers of V-Lokam (bloggers and non bloggers) out there who kept supporting me and my non sense through your equally crazy comments. This one is for you too !! (Phew!)
Next post : Once upon a time in Europe – Part 3 – Chateau de Chillon (for sure)
Now, this post should stop all those ’you-don’t-take-blogging-seriously’ kind of allegations against me and that I write only irrelevant posts. Here it is, after a long time, I am attempting a serious and a very informative post; hoping to get the necessary encouragement from you all.
This post is an indeed an inspiration from all those cookery posts that my fellow bloggers had published so far. I had to literally get into all those posts once again and read them to get a basic structure of a cookery post.
So, are you ready ? :
Lesson 1 : How to boil water.
You need :
- Water
- Vessel
- Gas
- Stove
- Spoon
- Gas lighter / match box
- Apple / Lays packet
- Knife
- Remote control
- Cloth
Rinse the vessel and keep it ready.
Fill the vessel with the required quantity of water. If it is for a blog post like this, then water from the tap is more than enough. Otherwise, fill the vessel only with water from an ISI marked packaged drinking water. Usually, it’s only the packaging that is ISI marked, the water that we normally get in it is anyway tap water! So it doesn’t matter anyway with what kind of water you fill the vessel.
After filling the vessel with water, stir the water well with a spoon so that all the minerals in the water are uniformly distributed.
Turn the gas on and light the stove using a gas lighter or a match box. Make sure you have enough gas in your cylinder otherwise you will end up having luke warm water which doesn’t serve our purpose now.
We will have to wait for sometime for the water in the vessel to get boiled. Meanwhile, take the apple and cut into pieces with a clean knife. Switch on your TV and start eating your apple one by one. It is mandatory that you enjoy the apple by having them slowly; you have got enough time ! If the vessel is large (irrespective of the quantity of water), you could substitute the apple with a packet of Lays chips, any flavour would do !
After a few minutes, you will start hearing some weird sounds and also see fumes coming out of the vessel, which means that the water is going to get boiled in some time. Closely observe the water in the vessel. Stir the water in the vessel once again with the spoon, only because you haven’t made use of the spoon much.
Once you see a lot of bubbles arising from the water, look at it for a few seconds, its fun to watch those bubbles.
Switch off the knob in the stove and you have your boiled water ready. Using a cloth carefully take the vessel from the stove and allow it to cool for a couple of minutes. You could use this boiled water for various purposes like pour it into bottles and keep it in your fridge for purified ice water, you could also use it for a hot water bath incase you do not have a geyser in your bathroom, mix some salt to it and get hot salted water, which I don’t remember having any specific use.
The tutorial ends here, hope the text and the pictures were informative.
If there are other ways to boil water, you are free to share it here in the comments section.
PS : This is also an answer to Smita who claimed in this post of OGs that I cannot boil water. It took me almost a month and a half to learn the techniques of boiling water and master it. Hmmphhh !!!!
Next post : Once upon a time in Europe – Part3 – Chateau de Chillon
It started with a phone call; a call from the US of A to my mobile at 9.30 Indian time. I was at office and was busy in a review, so couldn’t pick up the call. Later I found a mail from the caller stating that he tried reaching me and I didn’t pick, etc. His number flashed on my mobile and all I had to do was to return his call. But……..Buhahahahahaha 
(( The following conversations were in Malayalam with a fake voice and a south Kerala accent. Please note that my office number doesn’t get displayed when I make a call; else, this wouldn’t have worked so well.
The first name of the ‘He’ is mentioned here as XYZ and the last name as ABCDE. And since this is a family blog, the abusive word used through out the conversations by ‘He’ is Beeeep-ed ))
Day 1
Me: Hello !
He : Hello
Me : Is this XYZ ?
He : Yes, this is XYZ here.
Me : Is this XYZ ABCDE ?
He : Yes, it is. Who is this ?
Me : is this really XYZ ABCDE ?
He : Yesssss…Who is thissss?
(and this continued for nearly 3 mins)
Me : Im a big fan of yours.
He : Huh ?
Me : Your blogs, your dancing. Im a huuugee fan of yours.
He : Who is this?
Me : So, what else is new?
He : Who is this? Can you tell me?
Me : I am a big fan, XYZ.
He : Who is thissss??
—Call Cut—
Day 2
Morning (US time)
Called him, but reached his answering machine. Left a voice message with the same fake voice and accent.
“This is your fan, I will call you after sometime”
Afternoon (US time)
Me : Hello.
He : Hello
Me : Is this XYZ ABCDE?
He : Yes. Who is this?
Me : This is me, your fan. How are you?
He : Who the ((beeep)) are you ?
Me : I told you na, I am your big fan. So what are you doing?
He : I am just walking back to office after lunch. Who is this?
Me : Oh, there is only eating happening these days, huh?
He : So many other things happen. Who is this?
Me : Guess !! I told you na, Im your big fan.
He : Who is this ?? ((beeeep))
Me : Ok, keep guessing and I will call you back.
He : Atleast tell your name and keep the phone, na?
Me : Bye.
He : Atleast tell your name and keep the phone.
–Call Cut—
After a week
Me : Hello, XYZ, this is me, your big fan !
He : Hello.
Me : So, how are you ?
He : Please tell me who you are !
Me : Try guessing.
He : Is this (tells some name)
Me : Nope. Who is that ? (laughs)
He : Ohh ((Beeeeep)), you are ….. (tells another name)
Me : No. I don’t think you can guess. You have forgotten me completely.
He : ((Beeep))…who are you ? I don’t know. Who are you ?
Me : Well, its sad that you cant guess who I am. I am disappointed. I am keeping the phone.
He : No, no. Please, atleast tell me who you are then keep. Please. Pleee…..
—–Call Cut—-
After 5 days
Me : Hello, XYZ ABCDE?
He : Yes, who is this.
Me : This is your fan, XYZ !
He : Who is this?
Me : I have been telling you, I am your big fan and you still cant guess me ?
He : Is it …(tells a new name)
Me : No.
He : Its …. (tells the same name again). Yes, you are ….
Me : No. I am not. What is this …… (uses his blog pseudo name, surprisingly he still couldn’t recognize), you cant understand my voice or what? This is so bad !
He : ((beeep)), I don’t know.
Me : Cant you try ?
He : Heyy you ((beeep)), if you are going to tell me your name, we will speak further, otherwise I am not interested.
Me : Ok, shall I give you a clue ?
He : Yeah, a clue would help.
Me : No, you don’t have to recognize me that way.
He : No, give me a clue please.
Me : Its ok. I cant give clues.
He : Then I don’t need to talk to you. You cant tell your name, then I cant talk to you.
Me : Arrogance, huh ???
He : yeah, tell me your name and then we will speak.
Me : Ok then. Bye.
He : Bye.
—Cuts call normally–
This happened three days back and after that I didn’t have the guts to listen to any more Beeeeps !! To think of it, I deserved more of those Beeeps for the prank I played on him, that too for two weeks !!
My dear friend, I am really sorry if all these episodes were disappointing for you. I didnt mean to offend you in any way. All I wanted was a blog post and I am equally sad that our first conversation went in this manner. I am also sad for the fact that you had to know the identity of that idiotic caller along with the rest of them here
The ‘He’ mentioned in this post is known to all of us here. He is an Ordinary Guy who stays in Sunnyvale now; who cooks well; someone who would take a lungi even on his space mission to moon; who cooks well; who is in love with Rajamma; who has all the weird friends on universe and is also an excellent blogger. Ohh did I mention that he cooks well ???
Ok, now, who wants to get the next call from me?
Seriously….this has got to be one of the best days in my blogging life. No, actually, this is one of the best days of my entire life !!!
Sujith has written a hooooge post on me, our friendship and also on our live in relationship (Ahem ! Ahem!). Check it out here !
Guys, I have no words. I am just too overwhelmed to write anything ! and I am blushing like crazy reading the quotes and comments from all of you. Thanks a ton, all of you !!! This is like the best award ever !!!
Sujith-ey, da, I knew you were going to write something about me; but never thought it would end up this sweet and special ! I am touched !! and yeah of all the people, for you to come with such a write up about me, itself, is a miracle.
PS : I am disabling comments for this post. You can comment over there at Sujis or you could shake a leg (or both and even break them) at the post below.
Well, actually I do have two words for you all…..just two words….
