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Whatever happened to Superman’s underwear ?

August 15, 2013

Disclaimer : It has nothing to do with the new Superman movie and is hardly about the Superhero himself. It’s only about his underwear :P :P

This post is probably coming out really late, but I am still clueless on what happened to Superman. He has always been this mentally challenged superhero who didn’t know how to dress; the red underwear always over the blue pants he wore. But now, look at him closely; doesn’t he appear vulgar to you all?

The new Superman!

So, has the retard finally started putting things in the right place? That can’t be the reason, because Superman was never allowed to grow up. We always wanted him to be this handsome guy who saves the world and then appear as a totally different person just by sporting a spectacle, sulking for Lois Lane throughout his life. When I watched the promos of the new Superman movie, I couldn’t help but notice the guys new look. I initially thought that the plotline had something to do with his underpants and him fighting with the super villain to get it back, who apparently stole it from Superman’s backyard where it was left for drying. But alas, it’s not what I imagined. People all over the world are dying to know the reason. There are various sites in the internet which lead you to this topic and there is also a page in FB dedicated for this cause. It is certainly a serious issue that is bothering the world and we Indians, as usual, aren’t doing anything about it.

I know it’s a fashion these days to blame the government for everything, but why aren’t they taking any initiative to solve the mystery! Our PM, as usual, is quiet. Not that I expect to hear anything out of him unless it’s Republic / Independence Day, but what happened to his ministers. They were always good at being out spoken and coming up with really creative statements like ‘Hearty meal available for Rs.12 ’ or for shamelessly calling their own colleague an ‘Item’. I am telling you, this government is really hopeless; they are just not worried about the feelings of a common man. Leave the ruling party, the opposition has also not been doing their job! They have not created any stir on this matter which is a very bad sign; total disregard for democracy, I say! However, I am glad that neither the ruling nor the opposition accused any of our neighbours for the whole underwear issue; poor fellas, one is busy fixing tents across India and the other is busy hiding really important people in their country and then denying it.

While the ruling and opposition are constantly trying to find faults with each other, it has been the minorities who always came forward to react for the right causes. Mind you, only for the right causes! Early this year they had saved India and its citizens from the evil clutches of a man named Kamal Haasan; they managed to stop the screening of one of his harmless movies for almost a month. The superhero community in India is one such minority, comprising of duds like Krishh, G.One, Drona, Doga and Shaktimaan. But none of these guys came out to support Superman or even help him find his underwear. I am sure, this subject would’ve been taken up seriously had Superman been a Marathi, or if he at least had some Marathi connection. No hartals, no press meets, no hunger strikes; we, in India, are used to nation-wide bandh for these kind of issues!!! Which reminds me, what happened to all those countless jobless Babas and fake Gandhians (the adjective can be used either wise; wouldn’t make a difference)? They would’ve easily received publicity on an international scale only if they had conducted some hunger strike at the Times Square in New York or near the Big Ben in London. Apparently, the ‘Gandhian’ we all know is leading an Independence Day parade in New York tomorrow and I just hope he takes up this issue; better late than never!

Speaking of publicity, I wonder why Bollywood has also not reacted to this yet. The whole film fraternity was sad when a film actor turned part-time terrorist turned film actor again was sent to jail for a crime he actually committed, but nobody, no single soul, to think about Superman. I mean, is this the kind of respect we give to a person who has been ‘trying’ to save our world for so long? Take your ‘co-star’ for vacations to Spain, but please don’t turn your head away from basic responsibilities. To be honest, I was waiting for Aamir to raise this concern in some forum, but the poor guy speaks only when his movie is about to release or when his show is about to air on TV. You can’t blame him, old habits die hard. The other two supposedly super stars have always been socially irresponsible, and all that they care about now is to find a public place to hug each other, so that the media can wag their tongues behind them for a fortnight asking, “Why did you hug?”, “How was the hug?”, “Will you keep hugging from now on?”, “When will be the next hug”, etc.

I really don’t understand how the media works. As far as I know, they have been keen and have always shown enthusiasm to cover significant themes like ‘wardrobe malfunction’. This was like the Mother of all wardrobe malfunction and yet no coverage in print or visual. And again, of all the people, how come Arnab is quiet ? How did he manage to survive so far without making even one comment on the underwear? There should’ve been countless ‘one man debates’ by now considering the gravity of the situation. Expecting him to be silent is like watching white crows fly upside down on a snowy day in Rajasthan!!! Why do I get the feeling that there is a conspiracy, a global conspiracy, behind this? The media, the politicians and the celebrities of India, all have their index finger on their respective mouth, like obeying instructions from some bigger power!

I am equally surprised why the social media, and particularly, the bloggers in India chose to remain hushed this time. This is when we should’ve initiated another Chaddi campaign. Imagine the kind of international ‘exposure’ we would’ve got. Many of us, as usual, could’ve simply signed online petitions and felt ecstatic about what we did. And not to forget, patting on our own back and making tall claims like, “Oh, I have contributed a lot to the society”, all this without nudging a muscle from our arm chair. But it’s too late now to react. Or, is it?
Too many questions, but no convincing answer! But if anybody reading this has, I would appreciate if you could kindly come forward and explain. I have been having sleepless nights thinking about Superman’s plight. I have never been this worried about anybody’s underwear, not even mine! I need help! We all need help!

The world is definitely going through one of its toughest times. I hope atleast the officials in UN assemble to find a solution to this grave issue. People, you must understand, Superman isn’t somebody for US alone; he is a world-wide property! If a superhero like him can lose his underwear, how safe are we in this world?? Think about it !!!

A post, jhaast* like that !!

December 30, 2012
  • I was totally wrong earlier; had written sometime ago that ‘all’ relationships came with an expiry date. Actually, only some of them do; the rest of them come with a ‘best before date’ :D :D Now, what triggered this realization? I donno, came out jhaast like that !
  • It’s raining item numbers in Bollywood now, so much so that there are two-three such songs with different leading artistes in a single movie. But to think of it, these item numbers have been part of our culture and tradition since ages. Even the so-called Gods enjoy them; if it is Malaika and Rakhee on earth, it is Menaka and Rambha up there !
  • As a last resort to my weight reduction circus, I recently joined a swimming class. And, unlike normal swimming pools with chlorine water, this is a natural pond.  And guess, who my new friends are – MEN IN UNDERWEAR and we have tortoises too, to give us company, trying to escape from these men. I am not worried about drowning anymore, but every time I come out of the pond, I check twice to see if there are any tortoises clinging onto the ‘you-know-where’ parts in my body. Why do I check twice – jhaast like that !
  • It’s time people who work in the censor board industry used their brains. They certify movies like ‘Heroine’ or ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ with an ‘A’ certificate and simply ignored to do the same for movies like ‘3 Idiots’ and ‘Taare Zameen Par’ in the past. Kids, I tell you; all they need is an excuse to stay away from books and parents are now finding it difficult to get their children educated. Such movies are meant only for parents, and definitely not for kids ;)
  • Somebody recently told me that I live in two worlds. Very true, and I would never deny that; not that I am enjoying such a life. The fact that isn’t visible to anybody is that I live in one and merely exist in the other. Very soon, this dual life of mine would end, and I would be existing in both the worlds –jhaast like that !
  • Donno how many of you know this, but I am ‘officially’ a father now. It took me a month and a half, but the feeling of fatherhood has finally sunk in. Yeah, I visit baby store these days searching for diapers and stuffs that would make him feel comfortable. My heart loses a beat each time I see him cough and realised why my father panics even now when I have a low fever. Btw, he is named ‘Viaan’; more about him and how he got his name in some other post. Considering the frequency of posts here these days, I hope to publish it in 2013 itself.
  • It has just been six months and my brother-in-law has already started cribbing about his marriage life. Oh, I so want to look into his eyes one day and say, “You are way luckier than I am buddy; atleast, you have in-laws who are normal” and then, end it with a “Buhahahahahaha” – jhaast like that !
  • Off late, people have been commenting that I sugar-coat my words and get away with whatever I have got to say or write, with just a smirk or a ‘:P’. Probably, it’s true; earlier, I used to keep my mouth shut and never reacted, thinking what the other person would feel. I don’t know when this transformation took place, but blogging has certainly played a good role in it. And no, I am not apologetic at all, because I realized, speaking your heart out is actually a better way to maintain relationships. People who understand you, will stay back with you, and the others, should we really care :P :P :P. See, I left the ‘ :P ‘ s – jhaast like that !
  • Guess what, when those two girls got arrested recently for a harmless FB post, one for posting and the other for liking it, I actually got a little excited. I had once written a post on some of the religions and was wondering if anybody would notice that now and get their sentiments hurt; I really wanted to. Not because I could get arrested and be a celebrity over night, but because it had comments from some of you guys, all of them agreeing to what I had written. Wouldn’t it be great to have a bloggers meet at the government’s expense with full media attention?
  • Ok, so the world didn’t end after all. You might find it stupid, but honestly, I was looking forward to a catastrophe that would end everything, once and for all. My only wish was that if the world is ‘planning’ to end, it should happen in one single whoooooooooosssshhh ! Yeah, there shouldn’t be anybody left behind to cry. You might ask me why I ever wanted it in the first place; I donno, probably, I have seen everything and there is nothing more that I need to achieve. Or, could be because I don’t have the courage to see any of my dear and near ones leave this world before me. But when you end, the world ends with you, right? Anyway, wish you all a happy new year,  jhaast like that !

Jhaast* – got this usage from one of my friends, and now I am totally addicted to it, jhaast like that !

Him, Her and the Other !!! – My new short video

September 25, 2012

Finally, here it is! I have been thinking of sharing this video over here for over a month now.  Errr, to be precise, ever since it was created and showcased way back in April this year for our office annual day celebrations.

The video is about an extra marital affair with cinematography by Vijay Sanker, along with my song in the background, and stars my colleagues, Sheena Arnold and Vijay Tilak (ex-colleague now).

Both the video and the song were well received by the audience and it was simply an out of the world feeling when, at the end, all that we could see and hear were camera flashes and applauses :) :)

I don’t know if I had mentioned this enough, but I sincerely thank each and every one who has worked in this video, from the whole of my heart, especially, Sheena Arnold, Vijay Tilak and Vijay Sanker; you guys made one of my dreams come true.

The video has now been edited for public viewing, giving due credit to people who have helped me in creating the video and also, having ‘V-lokam’ in the beginning, which if I had in the original video would have made no sense to my office folks :P :P

Oh yes, if you had noticed the initial credits, you would’ve also noticed the name of a blogger. She was such a sweetheart being available all the time, gave me a few suggestions and also, came up with a better title; the original title was ‘He, She and the Other’ ! Thanks a ton, buddy, for being my guinea pig :) :)

And, here’s a write up on the show that appeared in our office magazine, soon after our annual day.

Oh, I just can’t stop flaunting myself, can I ? :P :P :P

When fate plays such cruel jokes on you !!!!

August 17, 2012
  • You are the next person to be billed, after having waited in a long queue for almost 30 mins, with groceries at a Big bazaar counter. You suddenly realize that you have forgotten your wallet.

 

  • You are super excited about a well deserved vacation that you have been planning for the last three months. You finally reach the destination, but the weather plays a spoil sport and you get stuck in the hotel room throughout your vacation, with just a TV that airs shows in a language that you don’t understand.

 

  • You are travelling and you need to use the loo very urgently. You finally manage to find a pay-n-use toilet, but you have only 100 Rs. and the person at the counter doesn’t accept anything but change.

 

  • You get a sick leave approved from your boss, who is on vacation, and in a few hours, you meet him inside a movie theatre.

 

  • You go with your colleague for a few drinks after having lied to your wife about staying late in office. Your colleague tags you in FB with the location and you are not aware of this. Your wife reads this and when you get back home, you still crib about the pressure in office.

 

  • You are bitching about some colleague in office and the moment you end it, you see that person standing right behind your back, smiling at you.

 

  • You are looking out for a job and upload an anonymous version of your resume in all the portals available. After waiting impatiently for more than a month, you finally get a call from some HR consultancy for an interview. The interview is for your position, from your current employer.

 

  • You leave your helmet on your bike unattended and don’t find it when you return. You start your bike with an intention of getting a new helmet when, on the way, the cops catch and fine you for not wearing one.

 

  • You take your parents and children to a nearby multiplex to watch Ice Age 4 and they screen the trailer of Jism 2 just before the movie.

Part 2 – My first strip show !!!

August 7, 2012

Continued from Part 1 —-

The wall while getting on top would have been only 8 foot or so, but I had to actually go a long way down, like about 10 foot. And, while jumping, this was what I was shouting inside my mind—- “ Vimaaall, you are NOT 7,  you ARE 27” !!!!

Thummmppp !!! Thud ! Thud ! Thud !!

At first, those sounded more like beats from the concert. But no, the sounds were from within. I actually fell on my legs like a cat, but my ankle slipped as soon as I landed, lost my balance and there I was on the ground. I gathered myself and tried walking, but I couldn’t. Same pain, same spot, same ligament tear problem; but this time, it was on the right foot. I limped all the way to the concert and watched it, standing along with a hyper enthusiastic crowd, knowing how bad my leg is. It was worse than the last time, but I didn’t have to visit a doc as I knew what exactly to do and there were a few leftover medicines. I decided to quit the gym, didn’t even go there to say I am quitting; can’t get an extension every time I wish, right?

With each passing day, I was growing horizontally and that became a concern for everybody around me. But you know what, I have a power; ya, like a super power. I have this ability to reduce my weight whenever I need to go for a trip or if there is an important event that has photo sessions. For example, I reduced around 5 kgs for my Europe trip and almost 3 kgs for my Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Goa trip. It just comes naturally to me; most of the times, a crash diet and at times, brisk walking for 1 hour would work. Earlier, the crash diet used to be the infamous GM diet, but these days, it’s just a simple fruits diet. I realized later how bad these crash diets are for the body as a whole and the only way to get rid of all that fat is to burn them by working out. I maintained my weight for almost three years doing all this, but never reduced because of the frequent intake of junk food. Yeah, somehow all those junk food are good only during ‘input’, and never during ‘output’!!!

My walking sessions became irregular when I reached Kerala, blame it on the unpredictable weather here. So, to avoid walking and getting wet in the rains, I bought a cross trainer from a friend who was leaving Trivandrum. He used it as a medium to dry his clothes and it seems, his daughter was having fun with it playing seesaw. He would’ve decided to part with it either because the deal was a steal for him, or because he could finally see somebody making use of it. Well, the latter didn’t happen. I used to work on the cross trainer initially like a kid who gets a new toy, but gradually, the frequency of using it reduced. And, before even I could realize, I started ignoring its presence in the room just like how couples end up being in a long loveless marriage. My dad once got so worried that he said, “Vimal, will you please use that exercise thing you have? We are no longer bothered about your weight; we have lost hope. But the machine, that needs to be used, or else, it would lose its lubrication and you would’ve to sell it for scraps. Use the machine atleast for the machines sake; show some sympathy towards it”!!! What to do; at times your brain, however old you are, goes back to those teenage years where you just ignore all these kinda advices, especially from parents!

But honestly, I started feeling the pinch too. None of my clothes were fitting me again and I ended up getting new formal trousers every three months; the mirrors and the cameras were refusing to include me in the same frame; had to do something urgently before I end up looking like a furniture at home! After spending considerable amount of weeks thinking on the options, I finally decided to join a gym. I, first, approached a celebrity gym which was near my place. They conducted a complete body assessment and scared me so much so that I kept wondering if I entered a gym or a Horror Maze in one of those amusement parks! However, inspite of all the marketing gimmicks, I didn’t join the place because of the exorbitant rates. Meanwhile, I happened to tell my brother about this gym and when I told him that actor Mohanlal goes to this place, he commented with his usual sarcasm, “ Mohanlal, huh ! Now you know how good that gym is!”

After a few gym hunts in the locality, I finally joined an awesome place. Those guys were less than a month old, with all the latest equipments and a good team of trainers. Moreover, they gave me an exciting introductory offer which was too hard to resist. For a change, I visited this place regularly and that too, working out every day for almost 2 hrs continuously. This gym was on my way to office and so, it was convenient to visit the place when I return home. Things went well, and I started showing some improvement in a months’ time. Oh, you know very well what happens after that sentence!!! Yeah, all good things need to end and blah blah!

I really don’t know how, but I managed to ‘earn’ a back ache during one of those sessions at the gym. For all I remember, this pain was there right from the second week. I thought it was just another muscle pain, from all the workouts, and chose to ignore it. It wasn’t hurting when I walk, or sit; but it did, when I bend backwards. I informed the trainers about the situation, and even they passed it off as a usual muscle pain. I kept working out this way for almost a month, but after a point, the pain became beyond ignorable. I consulted a physiotherapist at the gym; they had their own exclusive physiotherapist clinic upstairs and I used to wonder why! This guy took me to a huge room that had just two beds and a few ultra sound instruments, and asked me stay there. After a while, he brought in another guy and I had to explain the whole thing with flashbacks. They looked at each other for a second and :

Physio 1 (with a straight face) : Ok, remove your clothes!

Me : Whaaaat ??? (5 sec pause) Why????

Physio 2 : We need to see where the pain is.

Me : I already showed that to you. It’s right over here (pointing at the pain area on my back)

Physio 2 : Yeah, we know. But we need to see you move.

Me : Really? Can’t you just treat me without all this?

Physio 1 : Not possible. Remove your shirt and walk to and fro. And, stop only when we ask you to.

Me : (I walked like a model on a fashion show ramp, to and fro, without my shirt; grumbling throughout)

Physio 1 : Ok, please remove your trousers also.

Me : (Gulp!!!!) I could just lower the trousers if that could help.

Physio 2 : No, we need to see the exact position of your backbone.

And, so I walked once again, to and fro, with just my boxers. After a hectic day at office, a strip show is the last thing anybody should be doing in front of two guys. I seriously wasn’t enjoying the free show, and I am sure they wouldn’t have been too, for that’s how attractive my body is :D :D :D The next thing they asked me to do was lie down on my back. One of them pressed on the pain area and remarked, “So, this is where it pains, eh?” I couldn’t help sighing at that moment!!! At times, when I tell people something, they just don’t seem to understand it the way I want!

So, that was all about the show. No, they don’t have a recorded version of it, unless they had cameras installed in some corner of the room. Who knows; I might end up being a youtube star soon!! Those who came in here just for the strip show, I am sorry if it wasn’t spicy enough; you could stop reading at this point. And, for those who wants to know how my back is now, read on:

Those guys at the gym tried to sell their physiotherapist sessions, with a special package for existing members. But it turned out way too expensive for me. But who wants free sauna baths and daily dietician sessions, when all that required was to get my injured back back :P :P :P After getting two months’ extension from the gym, I visited another physiotherapist in the city and I am currently under treatment, wearing funny belts on my chest and doing a lot of exercises which, apparently, do not help me in reducing my weight!

Once I get over with my back problem, I might continue the gym until the subscription period and after that, I am just going to continue with my walks. And yeah, I still have that cross trainer at home, might as well make use of it too. You know what guys, I stopped dreaming about being trim and fit. I feel, my weight isn’t destined to get reduced and I am probably one of those who had been sent to this world to remain as a fat guy.

Btw, fat is cute, isn’t it ? :P :P :P

 

 

 

My first strip show !!! – Part 1

July 30, 2012

Yeah, that’s right. But before I get into the actual ‘event’, let me take you all through a few incidents :

I have mentioned it so many times by now- I am a fat person and have always been fat. There was a time when I actually looked thin, but even then, people called me fat which, I think, is because I had some extra pound of flesh than my contemporaries! I have been trying different ways to reduce my weight right from my childhood – jogging, cycling, karate (yeah!), skipping, dieting! My mom used to wake me up at five in the morning and literally push me out of the house for jogging. But, the lazy one that I am, would be walking on the streets, in my own world, ala Ishaan in Taare Zameen Par. The moment I see my dad, who leaves home at around 6.30 am for work, I start running and I still remember that smirk on his face for he knew clearly that it was a fake jog. I loved my karate classes though, but had to discontinue it because of all those tuitions and homework that I had to catch up on after reaching home.

But, you know what, the reason behind my weight has got something to do with the wind or water in UAE, because I started reducing after I reached and stayed back in India. However, certain portion of fat remained as it is on my body and that used to give me one helluva time back then. Many of them advised to me to get enrolled in a gym and turn all that fat into muscles! Now, can you all imagine a muscular me? Well, I couldn’t ! Luckily, people in Kerala weren’t that health conscious during those days and there were only these pocket road gyms where you get to see people rotating those ‘elephantiasis affected baseball bats’ (never bothered to know what the actual name is)

I really don’t remember how and why, but I joined one of those pocket road gyms along with two of my best friends. There weren’t any treadmills, cross trainers or cycles; but, only weights, fat baseball bats and some horizontal poles. No name for the gym, no trainers, no coolers, no restrooms; but, just a thin watchman who was as old as the hills, a small room with so many sweaty muscle men and an open area with those poles! It was my first experience at a gym and didn’t look anything like what it was in the movies. We went for about two days to that sick place and then quit; it was bo-ho-ring! And, yeah , people also scared me by saying that my vertical growth will stop once I start pumping my muscles. Short and muscular- I would’ve looked like Aamir in Ghajini; not that it was bad, it was just so bloody odd! But, the funny part is I never grew vertically even after quitting gym!!

That was in 1998 and my next tryst with a gym was 9 years later; in 2007. Till then, I kept doing work outs on my own; so much so that once I even got a ligament tear on my right leg, behind the knee. I had to visit physiotherapists and people who belonged to that department to ‘mend’ my leg. Oh, sometimes, it was worse; I had to literally be like Spiderman whenever I used the Indian closet to just get up from that, you know, position!

And, this gym, that I joined in 2007, had a name – The Muscle Mechanic ! Well, the name was no inspiration to go, and there weren’t any other mode of inspirations too for a guy in his mid 20’s, if you know what I mean. I opted for their monthly plan because I wasn’t sure if I would continue for more than 15 days. And, I wasn’t wrong; I have always had belief in myself. I visited the gym for that whole month, but with breaks in between. Every two days, I had pain on my arms and legs because of the work out, and that made me sit at home! Once I feel ok, I would visit the gym again to get all the pain back and take rest once again. This continued for a while and I got bo-ho-red of this routine too.

 That same year, one of my colleagues joined this hifi international gym (name withdrawn to avoid unnecessary and annoying hits; it IS that famous) near our office and kept promoting the features and facilities at the gym to everybody in office. I decided to give it a try, even though it was a bit expensive than the normal gyms. But then, it wasn’t a normal gym too; I had all the right kind of inspirations inside, including a juice bar!! I got lured by his marketing skills and joined this place for a three month subscription, with a hidden philosophy that if I pay more, I will have an obligation to go regularly. Now, since it was located near my office, I gym-med (pardon me you english maniacs, that word actually sounds good), took bath from the gym itself, had a glass of flavored soya milk and then left to office. Aaaah, that was life! This new routine kept continuing and, guess what, I even started showing improvement. My colleagues kept embarrassing me in office about the way I walk or jog on the treadmill. But yeah, I wouldn’t blame them; I get to see myself on the mirror when I use the treadmill and I must admit guys, I walk like a pregnant duck!!

Whatever, I went regularly for a month when tragedy came in the form of an office get together. You know how these Indian office parties are, initially very sober and just when they serve food, they would start the DJ. Yeah, I got into the dance floor that day to exhibit my Govinda steps (now don’t give me that ewww look; Govinda steps aren’t that bad. I try the same steps even for the western tracks). Probably Govinda didn’t like me copying his steps that day, because the moment I entered the floor, I tripped and hurt my left leg. But you get this energy from nowhere when you listen to those tamil fast numbers and so, I continued dancing- for two hours – non-stop. I got back home with a huge foot; consulted a doc the next day and realized that I have a ligament tear (a new one) near my ankles. I was asked to stay away from the gym for the next three months. So much for all the three months subscription; I was bed ridden for a few days with a prescription!! Woah, subscription and prescription; I could be a poet. Anyway, you know what happens when you suddenly stop going to the gym, right? Yeah, I started bloating up again. To add to that, because of the leg, I turned into a partially immovable asset, ok, liability, which helped in converting whatever I ate into whatever we all hate – fat !!!

Three months went by, and I joined the same gym; had to literally fight with them to enroll me for free since I had two more months remaining as per the subscription. But you just can’t change destiny, can you? I chose a Sunday to visit the gym; went in the morning and came back home with a sense of achievement. That evening, there was a concert by A.R.Rahman and though I had a VVIP entry pass, I wasn’t let in by the cops because of the huge crowd. I waited restlessly for an hour outside the venue when I saw a couple of guys climbing a wall and jumping into the ground. “Hmmmmmmmmmm…..”I thought !!! There was a transformer near the wall which helped me get on top of the wall. Just then, I saw the cops shouting at me asking me to get down. I had no other choice but to jump, because if I got down, the cops would have rewarded me with a few lathi shaped marks on my rear. The wall while getting on top would have been only 8 foot or so, but I had to actually go a long way down, like about 10 foot. And, while jumping, this was what I was shouting inside my mind—- “ Vimaaall, you are NOT 7,  you ARE 27” !!!!

Thummmppp !!! Thud ! Thud ! Thud !!

to be continued……

What exactly happened to V-Lokam !!!

April 24, 2012

Well, nothing! I just needed a title, sensational enough, to get you guys to this post :D :D

Guess what, I recently realized that some of you still don’t know that I am based out of Kerala now and had left Chennai, like, 2 years ago. And this, inspite of shouting so many times over my blog about me missing Chennai and cribbing about Kerala ! :D :D :D

I am not kidding guys, it actually happened a few days ago, with a supposedly regular reader of mine. It got me thinking; people don’t read what I write but then, still manage to comment.  How and why do they do that? I always say that these days I write only for myself. Did this happen because of my selfish motive of keeping myself entertained through my blog? Is it because I don’t write anything worthwhile that caters to everybody’s interests? You know, some of you write poetry, on maids, on cookery, on sports, on maids, on books, on children, and yes, on maids and all that I write is either on music or on the clumsy days of my life. Yeah yeah, I didn’t forget; I also write on marriage and women, but then all those can be easily clubbed under ‘clumsy days of my life’ !  :P :P :P But this can’t be the reason too, because I can’t satisfy all the visitors here; nobody can ! So, what is it ? I wondered. And, when I didn’t find a suitable answer, I quit wondering ! :D :D

Why is this space so silent then? Asked many bloggers! Errrr, actually, only two; although, both of them clearly know why I have been keeping myself away from blogs. But whenever given a chance, they would still ask me, “arrey, when are you updating your blog?” !! One of them keeps reading my older posts, it seems. I don’t know for what joy; probably to get inspired on how-to-never-write-like-that, or simply because that person is totally jobless ! :D :D :D The same person mailed me recently saying it has been 3 months and 15 days since I posted something here; a human alarm!!!  But you know what, I just love such stalkers; they make me feel important! Yeah yeah, I know you are reading this and I am sure I would never lose you as a reader or as a friend, even if I abused you publicly with your name! :P :P :P

Oh that reminds me another important thing, I have managed to make some of the best of friends here through my blog and I am sure they are my friends forever. Be it a sms, or a chat, or a call, we often connect some way or the other. Since we all know how occupied each of us are, there’s absolutely no pressure to keep in touch and we all give each other that space we require. I don’t know how many of you guys know this, but I am a kind of person who loves socializing with people, but when it comes to my private space, I am a miser. I don’t let people that easily into my space and I feel suffocated when people thrust themselves onto me. I try my best to stay away from these kinda people; I ignore them and I have no issues admitting that. Why is it so difficult for them to understand that I have a life and I have priorities of my own? I have given access only to a few of my best friends to come into this so called space and even they are aware of the fact that I am best left undisturbed whenever I wish to curl back to my shell.

So, where was I ? Aaah, blog friends ! What do I do without you all ? Even if you check my interactions in Facebook, most of them are still with the same blog friends; there is hardly any connect with my other friends over there. I feel except for you guys and a very few close ones, nobody knows me over there. How does it matter, eh? B’cuz Facebook is such a fake book, I tell you. It’s a place meant only for attention and appreciations; nobody can stand public criticisms. You can tease others in public, but when you get teased the same way, the teaser gets out of your friends list!!! (I can see the Brat smiling already :P :P :P) It is not that I don’t enjoy being there; I have been having some good time goofing around commenting irrelevantly on others updates and photos. But at times, it gets on my nerves. How many times can one read a status message like this – “Sipping tea, reading newspaper and looking at the clear sky from my balcony. What a morning!”, that too from the same person every week! Or even this from the same person every week –“evening tea, hot snacks and watching the world out of my window. What a life” !! and not to forget the highly mushy love messages….oohhhh god, I have often felt killing myself reading all that !! The worst are those who keep updating their location every minute; I mean, does anyone actually care if somebody is in XYZ restaurant or at ABC airport or even in the kitchen ! Weird, isn’t it ? Wonder why nobody updates their loo visits; now, that would be interesting ! and I know it sounds a little insensitive or harsh , but every other child in Facebook is an angel/princess or a prince, which is, at times, so bohorrring !!  Probably, it has something do with my psyche; I find it difficult to appreciate anybody in public. I prefer travelling in the deserted road of insult rather than the crowded lane of appreciations But then, Facebook has a lot of good sides to it too. You could get to see some of your old snaps that you might have missed, connect with those friends whom you have lost before the mobile and email era, get to watch a lot of amazing videos that people share, read funny status updates and jokes, and yeah, also get to know who all in your friends list clicks on those porn spams :D :D :D

I got into Facebook when being regular in blogs was a problem. I still read all my favorite bloggers, but do not take the effort to comment. But yeah, if I get mentioned in any post and when I am informed about it, then, I do. So much of demand I show, right? I know ! Even in Facebook, quite recently, one of my colleague asked me why I untag myself from all the snaps. Well, I told him that it’s my profile and that’s how I want it to be. But then, there is a reason behind me untagging myself from all those random pics. I am very particular about my pics and I would want only the best ones to appear in public. Ok fine, go ahead and call me a narcissist now; who isn’t ! As it is, my profile is flooded with my different kinds of pics for people to make fun of. Why add new ones and that too ones in which I don’t look good!! Oh dear photo taggers, I do understand that it’s a thoughtful act when you tag me; but what to do, even I think of you twice before untagging myself :D :D :D

You know what, I should just move away from this Facebook topic! I could go on and on. Infact, I was about to come up with a Facebook first anniversary post when this post came up! I didn’t want to sound repetitive, but then, I still want to write another post about the do’s and don’t’s in Facebook! And, also a post on all my status messages so far. Didn’t I just write, I need to deviate from this addictive topic ? :P :P :P

What else is keeping me occupied these days then? Hmm, I have been working on a few videos, one of which was showcased during our office annual day along with my song. I should be sharing that with you guys in a week or two; need to edit a few portions in the video before making it public. My karaoke recordings are going on in full swing these days; will be touching the magical 75 with a few more attempts. I re-heard a few older songs of mine recently and noticed that some of them need to be polished. I would have to work on them now because I feel there is no point in reaching any milestone without having convinced myself on the quality. I have been trying different genres now, but with each song, I realize that I have a long long way to go.

Speaking of going, I think I should leave now. One reason why people don’t read my posts should be because they are too long and boring.  What to do! I really don’t know how to make my posts short; each time I try that, I feel I am not doing justice to the space wordpress has given me here :D :D :D But, I am glad that there are people still waiting for me to publish my usual non sense. And, I dedicate this post, one that has no beginning, no structure and an abrupt ending, to all those who haven’t given up on me. Thanks guys, for being around! I so miss being with you and your blog these days! Hope to come back to blogging for good someday.

Btw, you….over there….you reading this, right? Happy? Now, don’t ask me for a month about my next post!  :D :D :D :D

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